Chapter Nine

Karsci

Never judge a lion by the sound of his roar but rather the depth of his bite.

 

I’m in too deep.

I can feel it.

He knows something.

I feel like I’m leaving this barbeque fucked in more ways than what he just did to me in the storage room.

Blaine Crews wants to ask me about my past. I can see it in his stare. He’s figuring me out. I don’t know how, but he’s onto me. I don’t have the answers he wants to hear. I won’t do that to him. Tell him the woman he’s been fucking is the property of a madman who left me with two options for my survival. The one I chose and continue to choice leaves scars on my soul that can never be repaired. Blaine can’t handle what lies inside me.

“Amanda, we gotta go,” Dia calls out as she passes by the door. “We have the early shift so we gotta go. I can’t leave you behind my brother might seduce you,” she mutters as she continues to search for me.

“He already has,” I whispered to the storage room.

Blaine looks at me, his blues eyes sparkling in the darkness of the space. “We’re gonna talk, Fox. You’re gonna tell me what’s going on behind those eyes.”

I shake my head. I can’t do that. I can’t have him look at me differently. And he will. I’m a monster and I have done unforgivable things. Once Blaine knows he will never see me the same again. I won’t survive losing him like that. I’m not strong enough to taint these good moments he’s given me with the truth.

“Dia’s right, I have the early shift. I gotta go. We can talk a different day.”

I throw my dress on not caring that it’s wrinkled as fuck. I start to walk out the door when his hand reaches out to firmly grip my arm.

“Don’t cross me or my family, Fox. Whatever you’re in we can help you, but don’t you fuck me over.”

I already have, I think to myself, but don’t dare say it.

I can’t do this with him. Not now, not ever. I swallow the lump in my throat and step out into the clubhouse. There is this pull inside of me to rush back to Blaine and tell him everything. There is this piece of me that says the only way to make this right is to give him the truth, my truth.

Except I can’t bring myself to do it.

Dia grabs my arm and half drags me away, not that I really fight her. I am more than ready to go.

Her mom drives us to her house since we both had been drinking. Delilah “Doll” Reklinger-Crews looks more like Dia’s sister than her mother. Dia and I are the same size so she said I could wear her scrubs to work tomorrow. Since I knew I would be going out with Dia, Cleo is at Salty Dog where I know she is safe and comfortable until I get to work tomorrow.

Entering her condo, the first thing I take in is the dog that immediately rushes to the door, barking. It’s like a wild beast of hair charging at me with the face of a lion ready to pounce.

She’s loud.

Her coat is long, her mane sticks out truly like a lion’s and her golden shade only adds to the regal look of the chow-chow dog in front of me. She snarls showing me her teeth and I freeze.

This dog wants to eat me alive.

Her blue tongue can be seen behind her teeth. Everything majestic about these dogs is gone and in it’s place is a territorial bitch ready to fight for her place.

“Sheba,” Dia chastises, “leave it,” she commands and immediately the dog drops to a sitting position and looks at her mom without another noise. Dia stops to pet her and the dog turns to follow its master like I’m not even in the room.

“Sorry, Amanda, she’s a bit territorial. She’ll ignore you now.”

“She’s beautiful,” I say admiring the gorgeous dog.

“She’s a handful,” Dia replies, “but she’s my world. She knows my every secret. Queen Sheba and we all bow down to her power,” Dia adds on a laugh. “The guest bedroom is the first door on the left. My room is at the end of the hall. I’ll lock her up with me in my room tonight so she won’t attack you if you wake up to pee or something. She doesn’t like new people.”

“Was she a rescue?”

“Sort of. I got her when she was a still a puppy but she had already attacked two other dogs in previous homes. She’s an alpha female so she doesn’t like bitches. It’s why we get along so well, I don’t like bitches either. Anyhow, when Blaine moved out I was lonely because honest-to- goodness my brother may be a dickhead sometimes, but he is an amazing brother. He always took care of me, watched out for me, and spent time doing whatever I wanted. When he moved into our grandfather’s house, I was lost and a little afraid when our parents would go away on club stuff. So they thought Sheba would be a good fit since chows are naturally territorial and prefer one person over everyone else.”

I nod. “Sounds like a match made in Heaven.”

“She’s simply everything.”

I smile happy for Dia. “Alright, time to crash because tomorrow the two greyhounds are coming in. Blakely told me to bring a change of clothes because I will be wearing as much water as they will.”

Dia laughs, “she isn’t lying.”

Oh hell. I need my energy but how can I sleep when there are too many things unresolved between Blaine and me. He’s obviously a genuinely good guy and I’m here to fuck him over in the worst way. I look at my phone and ignore the text message reminding me of my timeline and the tasks at hand. They are expected to be executed one at a time without delay.

***

One Week Later

Not one single word from Blaine.

He fucked me in a storage room and I haven’t had a single call or even the common courtesy of a text message since the barbeque.

I should count my blessings.

After all, I have no business getting tied to anyone.

But it eats away at me that he hasn’t reached out.

I have called and text, all of which have gone without response.

If he somehow figured something out, he hasn’t told his sister because she is still talking to me.

My cell phone rings. I don’t recognize the number. I answer with trepidation.

“Hello.”

“Dia needs her friend,” Blaine barks into the phone.

“Blaine? Where is she?”

“At the vets. We’re all out of town on business. Dia needs a friend. She asked for you.”

What’s wrong with Dia? Why is she at the vet?

“I’ll go right now.”

The line goes dead before I can ask for any more details. Moving to the grooming room, I find Sherri.

“I just got a call from Dia’s brother. Something has happened and she’s at the vet’s office. Do you mind if I take my lunch break to go see if everything is okay?”

“Oh heavens, take the afternoon off. Call if she needs anything.”

“Will do.”

I take off. The vet’s office is just up the road. The entire two minute ride feels like hours as my heart pounds rapidly inside my chest.

I’m not prepared as I rush in and promptly get asked to wait my turn.

Finally, after checking in two other dogs, the receptionist looks at me and nods.

“I’m here to see Dia Crews.”

Her face doesn’t change. She only raises an eyebrow as she thinks. “She has Sheba, the chow-chow right?”

I nod, she points to exam room two.

I walk in completely unprepared for what I find.

On the exam room floor, Dia is laying down with Sheba beside her. The dog lifts her head to look at me, but gone is all of the aggression and protection I faced just days ago. Instead, I’m met with golden eyes that are sad and defeated. The dog with so much life a week ago is resigned.

“Dia, what’s happened?”

The tears run down her cheeks as Sheba leans over and licks them away before laying her head back down.

“I don’t know, Amanda. She was fine. You saw her, she was active last week. Then,” Dia says taking a deep breath, “she started throwing up. At first I thought she ate a weed, but now it’s like all the time and she stopped eating and she isn’t acting right.”

Her eyes lock onto mine. The same eyes I look at when I look at her brother. Except in her eyes, her world is shattering. I see it, I feel it, and I’m helpless to do anything about it.

“Something isn’t right, Amanda. I don’t know what is wrong, but my girl is sick. She’s been there for me when I felt like I had no one else. She gets me when I feel like the world is against me. She’s everywhere I am and even when we’re apart I feel her in my heart.”

“Well, has the vet come in yet?” I ask, trying to catch up with what we are facing.

“They came in and checked her. Even though she isn’t showing physical reaction to pain and she doesn’t have a fever, they decided to do an x-ray. I’m waiting on him to come back and give me an update. “

“What do we do in the mean time?” I’m lost and totally not emotionally the person to be here for her. The skills I have are not anything to equip me for this level of heartache. I’m just not made to have these feelings.

Except looking at her, I feel her pain and it makes me sad.

This empathy I’m having isn’t something I have felt in a long damn time. Her eyes plead with me to take away the pain. Except I can’t. I wish with everything inside of me I could, but I can’t. Not everyone and every living thing can be saved.

My mind goes back to the last time I was this helpless to ease someone’s hurt.

“My, my, my, Sammi girl, look who we have here,” Titus mutters to my sister as he clicks his tongue against his teeth. “Karsci sure is growing up to be one beautiful young woman.”

My stomach rolls over and over in my body. The bile rises inside me slowly, inch by inch. My palms are sweating, my head pounds, and I swear I might faint.

Titus Blackwell is a huge man with broad shoulders and jet black hair that is slicked back. He wears a suit but even with the clothing on the man is bulky like the Incredible Hulk. I’m waiting for his clothes to bust at the seams.

“Sammi girl, my sweet, sweet Sammi, have you told your sister how things work around here? Soon, she’ll be at the age where she’s a woman.” He looks over to me like he wants to swallow me whole. “I remember when you changed.” He turns back to my sister and begins to grope her chest. “You filled it out the very best of ways Samantha Jo. I remember the first taste I had of you my sweet Sammi.”

I watch my sister who doesn’t show anything on her face, but it’s all in her eyes.

The fear.

The pain.

She’s pleading with me silently to take away her pain.

I can’t.

I’m only twelve.

I can’t do a damn thing but watch this man humiliate and defile my sister in front of me.

The walls are closing in on me in the small space of the exam room.

Dia’s hurting and I can’t take away the pain. I can’t even pray to ease her hurt and protect her pup because God is the last one willing to help someone like me. I’ve done unspeakable things. I’m the last person Dia Crews should want in her corner.

The vet comes in from the door on the back side of the room. He’s a short man that is balding with a beard and glasses. He’s wearing purple scrubs with his name embroidered on them and a patient folder in his hand.

“I’ve reviewed Sheba’s x-rays. There seems to be a bunching of sorts in her intestines. I can’t clearly see an object in there, but it’s a common occurrence for dogs to swallow something they shouldn’t.”

“So what do we do?” Dia asks still laying on the floor with her dog, petting her. Then she looks back to Sheba. “What did you eat?”

Dia turns back to the vet. “It has to be a fur ball from her hair. You know we used to do the lion’s cut in the summer for her. Maybe I need to go back to that since I let her grow out everywhere.”

“It could be anything, a toy, a plastic wrapper from a food she shouldn’t have. I had a dog this morning that ingested forty-eight snack size beef jerky’s that were individually wrapped. We had to induce vomiting to get them up. Since this, whatever it is, has made it past the stomach into the intestine we can’t just make her throw up.”

“Oh Sheba isn’t like that,” Dia defends. “Even when she was a puppy she never chewed on furniture. She only likes certain toys and never eats the fuzzy stuff or the squeakers. Instead it’s all left around my house like a crime scene. She can’t get in the pantry to get people food. She is a well behaved dog. She just doesn’t like other dogs. The biting only happens then.” Dia cries as she no doubt thinks of how much Sheba fits her life.

“Well, we need to do an exploratory surgery to remove the section of intestine that is bunching up and not allowing her food to pass. We’ll figure out what’s in there and what’s going on.”

“Okay after this, she’ll be alright? Back to eating, no more throwing up?” The desperation in her voice has me reaching out to grip her hand.

The doctor nods. “There isn’t any reason to think otherwise at this time. I will be up front, there are some risks. And to be completely honest, we aren’t one-hundred percent sure what is going on, so we need to do the surgery to really see her intestines and find out the problem If it’s a tumor and we’re looking at cancer, well, there are options there too, but I don’t want to leave you unaware of all the possibilities.”

Dia sits up and looks Sheba in the eye. “In your opinion though, she’s swallowed something and the surgery will remove that and she’s be back to normal? That’s what you feel it is most likely?”

The vet again nods. “Yes, now I’ll need to keep her overnight. If you’ll sign these papers, we can take her back. We’ll pump her with extra fluids to prepare for surgery in the morning. The surgery will begin around eight and I will call you when she’s waking up and ready to come home.”

When Dia’s eyes meet mine, I see hope in them and I find myself believing in the vet as well. She sighs like this is the hardest decision she’s had to make. Reaching out, she takes the folder from the vet and signs on the appropriate lines that she acknowledges the cost, the risk, and is giving permission for the exploratory surgery.

I put myself in her shoes and even though I haven’t had Cleo nearly as long, I would struggle with what to do for her.

“Pretty girl, you be good for them tonight. No biting. Momma will be back for you tomorrow and I promise you all the snuggles when I get you home.” She rests her head on the dog’s before letting a tear fall to her fur. “I love you my Queen Sheba.”

It’s a touching moment where I feel tears well up in my own eyes.

Dia’s face is red and her eyes are puffy from her own crying. She stands as the vet takes Sheba’s leash. When the dog doesn’t make an effort to move, Dia steps towards the back door to get her to go. When she starts to follow the vet is able to easily get her to go back. At the door, Sheba turns one last time and her golden eyes meet Dia’s as if she’s saying goodbye.

I feel the wetness of my tears hit my cheeks as Dia turns and falls into me sobbing. Oh I hope the look in that dog’s face isn’t an omen of what’s to come. This really can’t be goodbye. They have to fix her.

They close the door and I hold Dia close while the overwhelming emotions flood a woman who has been nothing but happy and kind since the day I met her.

“This is killing me inside seeing her sick and now leaving her here. They have to fix her.”

The paperwork Dia has copies of is a blur for both of us as neither of us seem to be able to control our emotions to stop crying and read the shit. All I can think is, what if it was Cleo?

That’s when I know without a doubt, I’m going to keep Cleo. I will make it work somehow.

“Can you give me a ride home?” Dia asks as we step outside. “I called my brother, but they’re on a run, him and my dad. My mom is in Catawba visiting a friend. I could have called Sass or one of the other ol’ ladies, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. Blaine said he would handle it. I appreciate him calling you and you coming. He’ll make arrangements for someone to get my car tomorrow.”

I nod and give her hand a squeeze. I may not be good at being a friend or even providing comfort, but I can at least give her a ride home so she isn’t alone.

Funny, I’ve never thought about how much I am truly alone until this second. It didn’t bother me … until now.

When this assignment is over, I’ll be all alone, except for Cleo.