Chapter Twelve
Blaine
A lion is only as strong as his pride.
It’s eating at me.
I got played.
The vixen wasn’t at all who she pretended to be.
I knew it.
But to have it come so close to costing me everything burns deep.
Outside, I yell.
I scream until my throat burns.
She pushes every button I never knew I had. In the blink of an eye, I lost control. I have never put my hands on a woman. I have never dared cross the line to killing a woman.
Until today.
Today, I was ready to end her.
This is not the man I am. This is not the legacy I was given to carry on. Yes, she crossed my family, but what choice did she have? She could have explained her situation to me. Then again, how much time have we had together? Not just time between the sheets, but real time building trust and getting to know each other. Hell, I’ve never even taken her on a date.
It’s all twisted inside me like a tornado spinning rapidly out of control.
I want to beat the shit out of someone.
Myself.
I put my hands around her throat.
I squeezed.
I yell until I can’t yell anymore. In all the anger, I lost the man I am. The man I was raised to be. The level-headed man to listen before he reacts went out the door seeing the knife to my sister’s throat.
When I turn around my dad is leaning against a pole with my sister, my mother, and Fox all watching me cautiously.
I move in long strides to her.
Stopping in front of her, my dad pushes off of the pole ready to pull me off her I’m sure.
“Karsci,” I say her name bitterly. Looking to my mom, she seems to know the war inside of me and nods her encouragement. “I was raised to admit when I’m wrong. As a man, I should have put a bullet in you. My hands, my size, my strength are not something you should feel powerless against. I went too far.”
She blinks.
The hatred boils rapidly inside me.
“I hate you with every part of me. However, I’m man enough to say I was wrong to put my hands on you in an act of violence. For that I apologize.”
She looks up at me and tears fill her eyes.
I am unfazed.
My dad steps up to me. “Good. I’m glad we could clear the air. While we sort shit out, Karsci will continue her alias and life as Amanda. Since you two have a history that I am sure Blackwell is aware of, she will be under your protection.”
The rage inside of me has me balling up a fist to swing at my own father. Fox reaches out and grabs my fist, holding it down. I want to jerk it away from her touch as if she’s scalding me, but the other part deep inside never wants her to let go.
Is this how shit will always be? Some mixed up shit-storm of emotion.
“This is not optional, BW. It’s a club order and I expect you to protect her as property of the Hellions MC.”
My mom steps closer. “May I have a word with my son please?”
At her request, Dia takes Fox by the hand to guide her back to the clubhouse while my dad kisses my mom on the forehead and goes about his business.
“Son, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. I know your woman did some fucked up shit. But two wrongs never make a right.”
“Mom, save the be kind stuff. I apologized for putting my hands on her. I crossed a line. I owned my mistake. Don’t push.”
She wraps her arms around me and I follow suit holding her close. “Momma, she would have taken you and Dia from me.” I let the weight of the reality wash over me. I could have lost my sister and my mother, the two women who mean everything to me. Just the thought drives me crazy. To know how close we came to this reality, it changes me inside. My mother has been my rock, and my sister … my sister is the first time I knew real unconditional love. The moment she was born, the moment I saw her as a real life I loved her in a way I can’t explain.
“But in the end she did what was right so that didn’t happen and it won’t happen.”
“She crossed our family.”
“Son, years ago, before you were born, a lady came into the mini storage office. I was working for your grandfather. This woman, she was broken. A very bad man did this to her and she felt she had no choice but to cross me. It’s what sent me on the ride where I fell in love with your dad. And your dad, well, he did some pretty bad things in those early days. Your dad and I came out of it better because of all the bad. And Amy, well at one time I wanted nothing more than to make her choke on her own teeth. But look at Amy Mitchell today, a proud Hellion ol’ lady to Frisco. If it wasn’t for forgiveness your dad and I wouldn’t be together and Amy wouldn’t be in our family. We would forever be incomplete.”
As usual my mom makes sense. I slow my thoughts enough to really sink in what she’s trying to tell me.
“Just because I forgive her doesn’t mean she’s off the hook.”
“Never said that, son. I just want you to understand she felt like she had no choice. In the end, she didn’t follow through and she’s doing what is right. Your dad, the club, all of you will do what is necessary to take down Blackwell. Don’t close her off when maybe this club, the man you are is exactly what she needs.”
“Mom, she held that blade to Dia’s throat and I thought …,” I can’t even finish the sentence.
“I know. This is why you’ve always held my heart. You were born to be a man who stands up for everyone around him. You were born with the heart of a lion to lead. You were born with the instinct to protect. Some things we teach our children but other things are just simply engrained in who they are. You, Blaine Ward Crews are fierce, loyal, and don’t back down no matter the pressure around you. Not everyone has that. You’ve always been your sister’s keeper and today was no different. You didn’t know the whole story when you went in and you reacted. No one can fault you for that. But, that woman, I can see it in her eyes, she doesn’t want to hurt you.”
“If something happened to Dia,” I start and my mother puts her finger over my lips like she used to do when I was little.
“Nothing happened to Dia. Let it go, BW. Karsci is a trained killer. She’s completed many assignments. She could have already done her job if she had truly intended to. You know it deep inside. She’s had opportunities and yet, she didn’t follow through. Instead, she came clean with Dia. I don’t agree with the plan to handle things themselves. But your sister has always been the independent rebel. One day, she’s gonna see just what it really means to have family, to have the Hellions at her back. For now, she made a mistake by not coming to you, to your dad, or to me for help. It all worked out. Take all that anger, son. Give the vengeance to the man who deserves it. Save it for Titus Blackwell and the hell he gave Karsci since she was just a young girl.”
I nod feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I hold her close and take in the comfort only my mother can give. She is the strongest woman I have ever known.
As she pulls away, she looks me in the eyes, “I’m so very proud of you, Blaine. For your momma, please find a way to let this go. Maybe even give her a fresh start because the woman I see inside her could use a break in life.”
I don’t reply. We walk back to the group in silence. I won’t make a promise I can’t keep and she knows it. On a sigh, she releases me.
“Let’s go, Fox,” I order and she looks around. “Time to ride.”
She comes over to me and my sister follows in a hurry behind her. “Hang on, BW.”
Dia pulls a hair tie off her wrist and goes to work trying to braid the mess that is Fox’s hair. “Alright, girl, first rule to riding, always braid your hair. You look like you’ve been rode hard and put up wet because this shit is everywhere. You’ll learn and well, this is gonna have to do. In the saddlebag on the right is my helmet, you can wear it. Hug the curves, lean with BW, and girl, enjoy the fuckin’ ride.”
Fox’s eyes are wide while my carefree sister is completely back to being herself.
She doesn’t speak, but listens to what my sister told her and gets her helmet on. I roll my bike backward and then crank it before taking off out of the compound. Feeling restless, I decide to keep going down the highway rather than turn off for home.
Her hands rest on my sides. Her front presses to my back, but she isn’t close enough. While I may be angry, something deep inside of me still has this pull to have her closer.
Twisting the throttle, I push the bike harder and test the woman behind me. When she doesn’t adjust closer, I take us on and finally reach Snake Road. By the third curve, she’s plastered to me and her hands grip my stomach.
In time, she’s moving with me and the bike. We are one. For the moment, I forget who she is. I forget who I am. I let go of my promises to my sister and the way I let her down. I don’t think about the betrayal and what comes next. I just look at the road ahead of me and inhale deep.
We are one as the pavement moves underneath us.
No matter what goes down, I have this moment.
This single moment where nothing matters but her, me, and the fucking ride.