Thorn and I got dinner together at a new restaurant that had just opened. The chef was from France, and he cooked up the most exquisite delicacies. It was French, infused with American favorites.

We sat across from each other and shared a bottle of wine. I’d cut down my whiskey intake to a single glass a day. I replaced my old habit with water, iced tea, and wine. My palate was different now that my taste buds weren’t soaked in whiskey. It was slightly refreshing, although I missed drinking the way I used to.

“What’s new with you?” Thorn wore black slacks and a black collared shirt, the top button undone. His tanned skin was visible, along with the prominent cords in his neck. He ran through Central Park in the afternoons, and that’s where he got his skin exposure. The room was full of couples and beautiful women at the bar, but as Thorn vowed, he didn’t pay attention to anyone else but me.

It was nice.

I would never be the recipient of romantic affection, but he certainly made me feel loved. And he would make me feel like a treasured wife.

The second I thought of our wedding, I thought of Hunt.

It was impossible not to.

The second I became Thorn’s wife, I knew our relationship would be over. That might be why I’d become more passionate with him recently, telling him I loved him because I knew I wouldn’t always have the opportunity. One day, he would have a new woman on his arm as we passed each other at a common function. It would hurt to look at him, but at least I would know I told him how I felt when I had the chance.

Before a different woman replaced me in his bed.

Sometimes it scared me how much I loved that man when I didn’t trust him. How could I be so infatuated with someone when I was so uneasy? It didn’t make sense to me. The behavior was out of character for me.

Thorn cocked his head to the side. “Titan?”

“Hmm?” My eyes shifted back to him, and I took a drink.

“I asked what’s new with you?”

I heard him but didn’t properly digest the words. “Nothing. What about you?”

“Everything alright?” he asked, his gaze protective.

“I was just thinking about work…”

“Be more specific.”

I spoke the first thing that came to mind. “Sales at Stratosphere have been incredible. Much higher than Hunt and I anticipated. We’re pleased with the results.”

“Because the two of you are geniuses.” He tapped his temple with his forefinger. “And geniuses make great things happen.”

“You’re too kind,” I said with a smile.

“I’m not a fan of his, but I admire the way he makes money. Knows what he’s doing.”

“Very true.” I’d seen Hunt in action, seen the way his mind worked a million miles an hour. He could construct an original plan with the same tools as everyone else, but his indirect marketing approaches had much greater effect. In addition to that, the respect he’d built in the business world always helped out in our favor. He could make things happen far quicker than I because people were always anxious to work with him.

Anything Hunt touched turned to gold.

“My assistant got in contact with that wedding planner from Martha’s Vineyard. They said they have an opening in February. What do you say?”

That was eighteen months away. It seemed like a longer engagement than we’d originally agreed upon. “That’s a long engagement, but that’s okay with me.”

“No, this February,” he corrected. “So in a few months.”

I held my glass but didn’t take a drink. “Oh…I’m surprised they even have an opening.”

“They moved some stuff around, I guess,” Thorn said.

“Could we even pull a wedding off that quickly?”

“She’ll handle the decorations, food, beverages, all that stuff. I know you don’t want to do that anyway. All you need to worry about is getting your dress. So time shouldn’t be an issue.”

I should be thrilled by that news, but I was only filled with dread. I thought I would have more time to enjoy Hunt, but if I was getting married in three months, our relationship would end much sooner than I anticipated.

Thorn drank from his glass and watched my expression. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah…it’s just sudden.”

His gaze became more intrusive as he began to analyze my unhappy expression. “We don’t have to do it that soon. We can do it whenever you want. I just thought we wanted to get it done as quickly as possible.”

“I guess I was expecting a longer engagement than that.”

“How long?” he asked.

“A year or so.”

“But we don’t really need a long engagement. Neither one of us is planning this, so the extra time doesn’t seem relevant. But you’re the bride, so whatever you want.” Thorn didn’t pressure me, but I knew he was disappointed.

I could drag it out longer, but I knew it wouldn’t make much of a difference. My relationship with Hunt was doomed to die anyway. The longer I let it continue, the harder it would be to end. “February is fine.”

“You’re sure?” he asked. “Because we don’t even have to do it at Martha’s Vineyard if you want.”

“It’ll be beautiful there, especially in the winter.”

“Then I’m going to tell Angela to book it.”

“Alright.”

“Perfect. Looks like we have a date.”

“What’s the date?” I asked.

“February twelfth.”

I took a long drink, downing the entire contents of the glass before I refilled it. “The twelfth it is.”

---

I was doing really well until I relapsed.

I drank more in one sitting than I ever had in my life. I made my favorite drink over and over, drowning myself in the whiskey that I adored so much. Picking a wedding date screwed me up in the head.

It dragged me down into the depths.

It suffocated me.

This was what I wanted. This was the path I chose.

But it brought me so much heartache.

Even if I wanted to change my mind, I couldn’t. I’d already made a commitment to Thorn, and I couldn’t back out now. It would be a betrayal to our friendship. It would make him look like a fool to the entire world.

No, I’d never do that to him.

I’d always been a regular drinker, but I’d never lost control of my faculties. I’d never even been drunk.

I just drank a lot. Big difference.

But now I seemed to be making up for all the liquor I’d skipped. Now I was plumping my cells with the alcohol they craved. It soothed my emotions and slowly numbed me so I didn’t have to deal with reality.

It was easier to cope that way.

---

I wound up in the elevator of Hunt’s building, my body weaker than usual because I’d drunk too much. I didn’t consider myself drunk, but I was definitely slightly impaired. Thankfully, I had a driver, so I never had to worry about getting myself anywhere.

The doors opened to his living room, and I stepped inside.

Hunt was in the kitchen, the sound of dishes moving and the water running reaching my ears. Everything stopped when he heard me, and he emerged a moment later in just his sweatpants.

The way I was hoping he would be dressed.

A prominent V was chiseled into his waistline, extending up his hips and framing the eight-pack he displayed. The muscles of his abdomen shifted as he walked toward me. His pecs remained as a solitary wall, unflinching as he approached me.

Wordlessly, his arms moved around my waist, and he leaned in and kissed me.

I kissed him back, falling into the addiction that brought me the most joy. Whiskey used to be my drug, but it had a nasty bite if I took too much. With Hunt, I could never get enough.

His sultry kiss died away, and he leaned back to look at me. His gaze moved to my lips, but not in the intense way I was used to. It was full of suspicion, and then a moment later, disappointment. “You’ve been drinking.”

“Yeah…”

“A lot.”

My hands remained on his biceps, my fingertips digging into his muscles. He was warm, smooth, and hard all at the same time.

His look of disappointment didn’t change. He stared at me fiercely, as if he wanted to berate me but couldn’t find the right words.

“It won’t happen again…I was doing well. I just had a slipup.”

His hands squeezed my hips slightly before he removed the pressure. “Promise me, baby?”

My eyes felt lidded and heavy, and while I was tired, I was also more affectionate. I wanted his hot lips all over me. “I promise.”

That seemed to be enough for him because he kissed me on the forehead, forgiving me for my stupid mistake. “What happened?” His lips moved against my forehead as he spoke.

“I don’t want to talk about it…” If I told him I was depressed about the wedding, he would attempt to talk me out of it. It would lead to a painful conversation I couldn’t have again. It would just give him hope that there would be a different outcome for us. I didn’t want to torture him or myself.

His hand moved to my cheek, and he lifted my gaze, forcing me to look at him. “Tell me.”

I looked into his powerful eyes and suddenly felt helpless. When it came to this masculine man, with his corded forearms, his chiseled jaw, and striking resemblance to danger, I wanted to drop all my armor and expose myself to him entirely—even if he hurt me. “Thorn and I set a date, and it’s a lot sooner than I thought it would be…”

He didn’t react. “When?”

“February twelfth.”

His hand remained on my cheek, and he looked at me with the same expression. He must have thought I was drunk because he didn’t try to make an argument like he normally would. All he did was listen.

“I’m not ready to let you go… I’m ridiculously in love with you.” Damn, maybe I was drunk. I blurted out everything like a damn idiot. I’d said I loved him before in the heat of the moment, and that was pretty much the same thing as being drunk. “I don’t want to see you with someone else… I get so jealous. I don’t want to lose what we have because it’s so damn good…but I have to let you go.”

“No, you don’t,” he whispered.

“Yes, I do…”

“Well, I’ll never let you go.” He lifted me into his arms and carried me into the bedroom. Clothes came off, and our naked bodies wrapped around each other. He was inside me instantly, my back to the mattress as I sank toward the earth. My ankles locked around his waist and we moved hard together, getting as much of each other as we could. We screwed like this was the last night we would ever be together.

“Please don’t.”

---

When I woke up the next morning, I had a massive migraine.

Maybe I did drink too much.

I’d never drunk like that in my entire life—besides my father’s funeral. Getting drunk was the only way I could stop myself from crying.

My hand moved to Hunt beside me, but he was nowhere to be found. The sheets were still warm like he’d been there recently. It was the first time we’d spent the night together in months, and I’d slept like a rock through the night.

But that also could have been because I blacked out.

I opened his nightstand, hoping there would be a bottle of painkillers inside. I reached my hand in and came into contact with a hard book. I leaned over and squinted, trying to read even though my eyes hadn’t adjusted to being open just yet. After I pulled it to my face, I recognized it.

My father’s book.

My hands slightly shook as I felt it. There was a bookmark in the pages, toward the very end. It was a receipt. I opened to the right page and looked at the date. It showed he’d bought the book months ago.

Before we called things off.

I could only assume he’d been reading it. Why else would he buy it? But why hadn’t he told me he’d been reading it? I had so many questions, but it didn’t seem appropriate to ask him. It looked like I was going through his personal belongings when that wasn’t my intention. I flipped through the pages and found little marks with a pen. Some passages were underlined, perhaps one that he enjoyed.

I panicked when I heard footsteps coming from the bathroom, so I placed the book back in the drawer and quickly shut it. The pulse was throbbing in my temple, but I lay back and pretended to have been there the entire time.

He entered the bedroom with a towel around his waist. “Morning, baby.”

“Morning.” Once I looked at his perfect, naked body, I stopped thinking about the book. Little drops dripped down the grooves of his gorgeous chest. My tongue wanted to taste him everywhere. My migraine was forgotten.

“How are you feeling?” He leaned over me on the bed and ran his fingers through my hair.

It dulled the pain, temporarily. “I’ve been better.”

A handsome smile spread across his mouth. “First time I’ve ever seen you drunk.”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

“I bet you don’t remember most of the things you said last night.”

I remembered talking in front of the elevator, but most of it was blurry.

He grinned in arrogance.

“What did I say…?”

He kissed the corner of my lips. “You’ll never know.” He moved off me and dropped the towel from around his waist. He stood at the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers, his tight ass looking unbelievable.

I nearly drooled.

“Want some breakfast?”

“I should probably get going…”

“Nope.” He turned around and came back toward me on the bed. “Breakfast and then sex.”

“You don’t have work?”

“I always have work. But business will carry on even if I’m not there. Come on.”

“I’ll stay under one condition.”

“Name it.” He held himself on top of me again, smelling like fresh body soap and cologne.

“I need some painkillers for my migraine. And you do the cooking.”

He grinned. “I can do that.”

---

Thorn and I talked about business in my office, about what we would do with our respective companies once they were combined. We held assets in very different fields, and if we combined them correctly, we could achieve great success.

But Hunt was on my mind again.

He’d been in my head more than usual that week. I kept thinking about my father’s book sitting in his nightstand. It was a mystery why he never mentioned it to me. Knowing he read my father’s work, essentially, his diary, meant more to me than I could put into words. I never asked him to read it. He did that entirely on his own.

Every time I was with Thorn, I thought about the wedding. And the more I thought about it, the more uneasy I became. I was so certain this was the right choice for me, but now it didn’t seem that way. My doubt had nothing to do with Thorn, who was one of the greatest men I’d ever known.

It only had to do with Hunt.

Thorn finished what he was saying then set the paperwork on my desk. “So you still aren’t going to change your name?”

My entire identity was based on my last name. It was the name my father gave to me. The moment I changed it, the name would be lost forever. If I didn’t pass it on to my children, it would cease to exist. It wouldn’t even make sense for people to refer to me as Titan anymore. And I certainly wouldn’t allow anyone to address me as Tatum. “No.”

He rolled his eyes. “Meet me halfway. Let’s do a hyphen, at least.”

“No.”

His look hardened.

“My name is important to me, Thorn. How would you feel if I asked you to change your name?”

“I get where you’re coming from, but—”

“It’s totally sexist.”

“It’s tradition.”

“Whatever,” I said. “My father gave me that name. It means a lot to me.”

“And I get that. Which is why I suggested a hyphen. Titan can go first if you want. Titan-Cutler.”

Even that didn’t feel right to me. “I’m sorry.”

“You won’t have the same last name as your children. You do realize that, right?”

“They’ll have hyphened names.”

He rubbed his temple as he sighed in irritation. “We aren’t doing that.”

“You bet your ass, we are. Titan is everything that I am. I can’t change my identity for someone else, Thorn. I’m sorry. It would be different if we were in love, but we aren’t. This is a business relationship as well as one for convenience. I won’t change my mind about this.” When Hunt and I discussed it, I had a more open attitude about it—but it was because I was desperately in love with him. This situation was totally different.

Thorn shook his head slightly but folded. “I accept your decision. But I think we’ll need to revisit it once we have our first child.”

It wouldn’t go any differently then. “Fine.”

Thorn continued to sit in the armchair even though it was tense between us. It didn’t constitute a fight, but it wasn’t easy either. Normally, things between us were absolutely smooth. Since we were making big decisions, there were bumps and potholes in the way. He watched me for a few minutes before he changed the subject. “Anything else we need to discuss before I leave? I’ll be in Montreal for a few days.”

“When will you be back?”

“Friday. It’s a short trip.”

“It’ll be beautiful. I’m sure it’s snowing.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Perhaps I can find someone to share my chalet with.”

I smiled. “With your charm, I’m sure you will.”

“Thank you. I’m looking forward to you being the recipient of that charm.”

I found Thorn attractive, but I didn’t see him in that way. Before I met Hunt, I could picture us having a great sex life. He was beautiful, muscular, successful…everything I wanted in a partner. But the moment I fell in love, my physical attraction to other men disappeared. Now I couldn’t even imagine it. “I slept over at Hunt’s place the other night…”

Thorn shifted his position in the chair as he watched me.

“I had a migraine, so I opened his nightstand drawer and found my father’s book…”

“His book of poetry?” he asked in surprise.

“Yeah. He had a bookmark in it along with some notes, so he seems to be reading it.”

Thorn rubbed his chin as he considered me. “What’s your point?”

“I checked the receipt, and he bought it before we broke up.”

Thorn stared at me.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I’m just not sure what to make of it.”

“Maybe he enjoys poetry. I read sometimes.”

“Yeah, but he’s never mentioned it to me. Not once.”

“I still don’t see the relevance.”

“It’s just…it’s a very sweet thing to do. I don’t see why he would do that if he didn’t really love me. If he was just using me before we broke up, it doesn’t make sense for him to buy my father’s book and read it.”

Thorn considered me for a long time. He didn’t seem annoyed by my words, but he needed to take time to phrase a response. “I think you might be reading too much into it.”

“What do you mean?”

“He may have bought that book to learn more about you, to make you fall in love with him to achieve his goals. Or maybe he really did buy it because he wanted to read your father’s work. Maybe he bought a used copy and never read it. The fact that he never mentioned it to you makes it seem like he doesn’t want you to know.”

I hadn’t considered any of those other scenarios. I just assumed it was a touching and romantic gesture.

“I’m not trying to disappoint you,” he said gently. “I just see these flashes of hope in your eyes. They come and go over and over. It’s painful to watch…”

I shifted my eyes away, embarrassed I was so obvious.

“I know this is hard for you,” he continued. “I know the wedding date reminds you that you and Hunt will be over soon, and that scares you. I get it. You think you’ve unmasked something to make him innocent and you can finally have everything that you want. But you need to understand that’s never coming. If Hunt could clear himself, he would have done it by now. You’re in the exact position you were in months ago, but your emotions cloud your judgment over and over. I’m not saying this in judgment. I’m just trying to give you a clear perspective on the situation.”

Thorn understood me too well. My eyes remained on the desk because I didn’t have the strength to look at him. “You’re right… I guess I’ll never stop hoping. It’s hard for me to stay objective when it comes to him. It’s impossible…and I start to fantasize.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “That’s what I’m here for. You can always talk to me about these things.”

“I know you’re tired of hearing them…”

“Not true.”

I raised my expression to meet his gaze.

“You can talk to me about anything, Titan. I will always be there for you—even if you repeat it a million times. I’m your partner for life, whether I’m your husband or not. There’s never something you can’t share with me. I hate seeing you in pain like this. I wish more than you that it had worked out with Hunt. I’ll never forget how ecstatic you were when you told me you were going to marry him. I’ve never seen you so full of joy like that since the day I met you…but I have to protect you too. I can’t tell you what you want to hear to make you happy. I have to give you the truth—as painful as it is to listen to.”

My eyes softened as I listened to Thorn be sweet to me—for the millionth time. “I know…”

“I’ve talked you back down to earth today, but in a few weeks, we’ll be back where we are right now. But don’t worry, I’ll be there for you again…just like you would be for me.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, sweetheart.”

“I don’t know what it is about him that makes me like this…”

“It’s love,” he said simply. “It’s the strongest emotion in the world. It was love that made me stab someone in the heart to protect you. It was the craziest thing I’ve ever done. I could have gone to jail for murder, but I didn’t care. And I’d do it a million times just to keep you safe. So I understand, Titan. I’ve never been in love, and I can imagine that level of love is a million times more blinding.”