CHAPTER 41
Kenzie
I stepped outside twenty minutes later, dressed to the nines and ready for my first full day as senior VP. It didn’t seem real yet.
I smiled to myself, taking a deep breath of morning air. It helped clear my still-foggy head, and I needed all the help I could get.
The neighborhood was just waking up, with dog walkers and joggers everywhere as trucks and cabs drove by. I loved the energy of the city and thought I would have to live in a neighborhood like this one no matter how much money I ended up making one day.
I took another deep breath, determined to let it boost my energy. It wasn’t as fresh and clean as the air in the Azores, but that was all part of the past.
I wished Aaron had never taken me there. I wished I didn’t know there was a part of the world like that, so different from the confusing reality I lived in. Even those memories were tainted by the knowledge that the whole trip had been a ploy to use me.
“Kenzie.” When I heard his voice, I was sure it had to be imaginary. I turned to find Aaron standing in front of the building.
“Were you waiting out here for me?” I asked, stunned.
He moved closer to me, out of the shadows. “Yes.”
He looked like hell, totally unlike the way he normally looked in public. “What’s this all about? When did you get out?”
“Oh, so you knew about that?”
“Who in the world didn’t know about that?” I asked. I was tired of his word games, tired of him answering a question with a question. He seemed to sense it, cutting to the chase.
“Just a little while ago—less than an hour.”
I gulped, a cold shiver running through me. I might have felt flattered back before I knew how Aaron had made me a pawn in his chess game. I might have swooned a little to think that he’d stop by my apartment before going home, just to speak to me.
But those days were long past.
All I could do was wonder if I was in any danger. His behavior was stalker-level.
“Why are you here?” I asked. “Why come here? What could I possibly have to say to you?”
He frowned, a look of severe disappointment floating over his face before his features hardened. “I wanted to talk to you because I had to explain myself. I wanted to get everything straight between us.”
All I could do was let out a harsh laugh. “Tell me another good one. You had the chance to do that before, remember? When I asked you to tell me the truth. All you did was feed me more lies.”
“I didn’t.”
“You’re even lying now,” I spat. “Lying about lying. Don’t you get tired of it? Don’t you confuse yourself? How can you possibly keep track of all the half-truths and lies and secrets? It must be exhausting. No wonder you look so tired.” I brushed past him, intending to hail a cab.
He tried to take hold of my arm, but I had momentum. I yanked my arm away, taking a few steps back.
“Don’t touch me. I don’t belong to you. I didn’t ask you to come here. Frankly, you’re wasting my time.”
It wasn’t my heart doing the talking. It was my wounded pride. I had to get some of myself back. He’d already taken so much from me. I had allowed him to take so much, and at the time I thought I’d done it willingly, happily.
How naïve could I be?
“Where is all this coming from?” he asked. To his credit, he looked genuinely stunned and hurt. He had to be a good actor—he’d fooled me for so long. I steeled myself against his tactics.
“It’s coming from the way you lied to me. Don’t you get it? I know why you hired me. You did it to get back at Reed. You used me, Aaron.” My voice cracked at the heavy admission. “You made me believe you wanted me because of me, not because of some childish revenge thing against Reed. I wasn’t even a person to you, was I? I was a tool.” I laughed so loudly, I got the attention of a few early-morning joggers and it didn’t ease the pain the way I hoped it would. “Well, yes. I was a tool because I let myself believe you. I wanted to. I told myself you had a good reason for acting the way you did.”
“You were right! I did have a good reason, and I want to tell you about it.”
“You don’t get it at all. Your ego has totally blinded you.” I took a chance and stepped closer to him, telling myself not to care that his warmth and energy threatened to pull me even closer until I was in his arms. I wouldn’t be weak anymore. “I have no reason to believe you, ever again. You had so many chances to come clean with me. So many. And you let them all pass you by. I can’t give you another chance.”
“But Kenzie, Reed is the guilty one. He’s guilty of far worse than anybody accused me of.”
I stepped back, unwilling to believe him. “You can say that all you want, but I know it’s your need for forgiveness that makes you say it. You always have to be the good guy, even though I know how dishonest you are. I can’t buy it, Aaron.” I turned away, hailing a cab.
“It’s true. Come with me. I’ll tell you everything, I swear, but not out here. I don’t want anyone to overhear us.”
I heard desperation at the edges of his voice. He didn’t sound as cool and put-together as he normally did. Maybe it was the circles under his eyes, the sleepless night he’d clearly spent. That would make two of us. But at least I could hold myself together.
I laughed, keeping my back to him. “So what? People already have. Who cares if they hear more lies?” I was being stubborn, childish, and I knew it. I told myself it was all right, seeing how Reed and Aaron had been childish when they purposely put me between them. One good turn deserved another.
“Come back to my apartment. I need you. I’m desperate for you.” His hand touched my shoulder.
I brushed him off. I wanted him, needed him just as desperately as he said he needed me—maybe more. I wouldn’t leave myself open to his deception ever again.
“You had your chance. Besides, I have a job. I have a life. I can’t jump up and run at your every whim. I don’t belong to you, Aaron.”
Wouldn’t he just take the hint, already? I was only so strong. I could only deny him so many times. It took everything in me not to turn and fall into his arms, beg his forgiveness and hope he didn’t punish me too harshly.
I couldn’t believe who he’d turned me into.
I hated him, and me, for it.
“You’re going back to work for him? Even after I just told you he’s the guilty one?”
“Why should I believe you, dammit?” I turned to him, eyes flashing. I wanted to tear him apart so he would never, ever come near me again. “Why don’t you listen when someone else speaks? I don’t care what you say, and I can’t believe that after all this, you’re still going after him. Why won’t you just leave it alone? Let it go! Move on from it. Move on from me.” I thought my heart was literally breaking in my chest, the pain nearly excruciating as I watched his face fall.
I took a deep breath, willing myself to stay strong just a little longer.
“Aaron, we’re finished. You’re finished. Give it up. If Reed is guilty of something, the truth will come out.”
“It will come out sooner than you think, and you’ll see I was right.” His words were soft, low, persuasive.
“Fine. I hope you’re right, then. I hope you get some measure of peace after all this insanity. I’m tired of being in the middle of it. I’m just plain tired, Aaron.”
A cab approached. I threw up my arm, praying it would stop for me. I needed to get far, far away from Aaron and everything to do with him. If I could tear off my clothes and hand them to him as a way of disconnecting from his thrall, I would have.
He sighed, knowing he was defeated.
Finally.
I had won.
Victory never felt so awful.
I climbed into the cab, slamming the door shut between us. We were finished.
I struggled against the sobs that threatened to break loose the entire ride into work. Leave it to him to make it even harder to forget him. He’d found a way to ruin my first day in my new position and it would be impossible to rid him from my thoughts.