It was all over in three minutes. A bit like the night I lost my virginity, except not as painful and my friends hadn’t been watching that night. I hoped not, anyway.

“So that’s it?” I asked. “We’re married?”

“Not quite,” the registrar explained. “You still need to sign a paper to make it all legal.”

He ushered us over to a table in the corner where the paperwork lay out ready for us to sign. This bit scared me more than the ceremony. Ellie and Dani putting on a fuss had been so over-the-top for the occasion, that I’d found the entire thing more comical than serious. Until I’d reached the altar, at least.

The second George took his hands in mine, my heart started fluttering wildly and inconsistently, and I suddenly felt rather nauseous. I told myself it wasn’t real again and again, but when I’d had to repeat the vows to George, they’d sounded real enough.

But then it had all ended. Now there was just the simple matter of committing fraud as the first step towards getting a visa to live in England. None of this seemed to bother Ellie and Dani, who happily signed the document as witnesses to this whole affair.

“Okay, congratulations,” the registrar said. “You are now husband and wife.”

“Photo time,” Ellie screamed loudly. “Get together you two. Sophia, kiss him on the cheek.”

I pressed my lips up to George’s cheek, but made sure not to actually make a kissing motion. If there was no noise it wasn’t a real kiss.

“George, do the same to Sophia.”

George placed his lips on mine, but there was definitely a noise this time.

“Come on,” Dani pleaded. “You’re not cousins. Look like you care.”

George squeezed up close to me and placed his hand on my thigh. It would have been an innocent enough gesture between husband and wife, but I felt like he shouldn’t be touching me that way in public. Contact from George sent a heat coursing through my body, and made me want to be somewhere private. No doubt I’d be bright red in this photo.

Our lips touched and we held the pose for five seconds while Ellie and Dani took photos. This time it was definitely a kiss.

Ten minutes ago, I’d been a single lady—now I was officially married to a man who would soon be recognized as a prince. That made me a woman about to be confirmed as a princess. It was a lot to take in for an American girl from a small town in California.

George and I walked down the stairs hand-in-hand, and headed straight to a small park across the street. I stuck to the path because my heels would be instantly lost in the grass, and I’d end up on my ass in no time at all. Going commando, that could be a big problem.

“I need to go make a quick call,” George said. “See you soon, wifey.” He smiled awkwardly and kissed me on the cheek, before disappearing around the corner.

“I can’t believe someone’s made an honest woman out of you,” Ellie joked.

“I don’t know if ‘honest’ is the best word to use, given the circumstances.”

“Good point. But I’m still jealous.”

“There’s nothing to be jealous about,” I insisted. “We’ll be divorced in six months.”

“I hope you’re at least going to enjoy your wedding night,” Dani said. “You can’t let a man like that go to waste. I don’t know about the whole fraudulent visa thing, but I know that not screwing George would be criminal.”

“She’s right,” Ellie added. “Besides, isn’t it a legal requirement to consummate the marriage?”

“I very much doubt it. Look, I didn’t mind you making a big deal of the wedding, but now we need to get back to normality. I’m still a student with coursework to complete.”

“Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that,” Dani said. “You’re going to be a public figure. There’s no way you can just go back to living a normal life now. There will be parties, fundraisers, art galleries to open, and all that other bullshit.”

“You make being a princess sound difficult,” Ellie said.

“It is,” Dani replied. “I wouldn’t do it. I enjoy my freedom too much. I want to be able to shag who I want, when I want. I definitely don’t want the press recording my every move. Mind you, for George I would be tempted.”

“That’s why George doesn’t want to become a prince,” I pointed out. “He enjoys his freedom.” Which for him, meant screwing as many women as possible. For some reason, I couldn’t get all that excited about helping him achieve that particular goal.

“You’ll still have freedom,” Ellie said. “It’s not like it was in the olden days. Royals are just celebrities, really. Sure, it’s a bitch to have no privacy, but you’re also rich and famous. That has to be good.”

“You’re forgetting that this is temporary. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“All the more reason to enjoy those six months of fame. Speaking of which, when are you going to come out as a married couple? You won’t be able to keep this secret for long. Someone’s going to tip off the press.”

“I think that’s what George is discussing now with his friend. I guess this means I’m going to have to tell my mom soon.”

“You haven’t told your Mom?” Ellie screeched. “My God, she’s going to go mad.”

“Yep, probably. We haven’t spoken that much lately. She was furious at me for walking out on the wedding. The last one. There was lots of screaming and yelling, and we never really made up. We weren’t that close to begin with.”

“That sucks,” Dani said.

Dani and her mom were like sisters. Just a few days after I’d met Dani, I’d overheard her having a really explicit conversation about a couple of guys she’d slept with in the last month. I turned red just listening to the details, but I practically keeled over in shock when she said “bye, Mom” at the end.

Mom and I were nowhere near that close, and I didn’t have any siblings. After the incident with Stan, I didn’t have many friends either—not ones I could count on anyway. Ellie and Dani more than made up for it though. Better to have two great friends than ten average ones.

“Are you both heading back to school now?” I asked the girls.

“It’s university, not school,” Ellie corrected. “You make us sound like sixteen year olds.”

“I still don’t understand the difference, but whatever.”

“I guess we should head back,” Ellie said. “I’m getting hungry. Turns out being maid of honor is enough to work up an appetite.”

“George suggested we all get lunch together if you fancy it?”

“We could go to the pub on the corner?” Dani suggested. “They do a great roast.”

“The cocktail selection sucks though,” Ellie pointed out.

“True.”

“It’s only just midday,” I pointed out. “Isn’t it a bit early for cocktails?”

Ellie and Dani looked at each other and shook their heads. “You really haven’t adapted to the British way of life yet, have you?” Ellie asked. “Pubs open at eleven in the morning for a reason.”

“Alright,” I said, holding up my hands. “But let’s go somewhere nice. George is paying.”

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so,” Dani replied. “I know just the place.”

“I thought you might. I’ll go hurry George up.”

George had disappeared from sight, but he couldn’t have gone far. I hobbled over as quickly as I could in my high heels, and saw him standing on the corner of the park with his back to me.

I slowed to a walk and called out his name, but he didn’t hear me. He sounded like he was finishing up his conversation anyway.

“Let me know what she says,” George said to the person on the other end of the phone. “Good news, or bad news, I want to know.”

I stood back to let him end the call. It was a bit early to be a nagging wife demanding all his time and attention.

He muttered something else incomprehensible into the phone, and then a few more words that I did catch.

“Okay, speak to you soon, Tabitha. Love you. Bye.”