CHAPTER 14
Jesse tried to contain her surprise when Sam showed up with a huge grocery bag containing Christmas gifts. He hadn’t exchanged gifts with anyone since Travis had left the military and come home. She hugged him after he came inside and Travis took the sack, placing it near the tree. Christmas music was in the background, the tree glowing with lights in the corner, the fireplace filling the space with warmth. Outside, it was snowing once again, the white flakes twirling and dancing in the gunmetal-colored sky, as if celebrating the morning with them. As he took off his heavy sheepskin coat and hung it up, she admired the bright red flannel shirt he wore beneath his elk-skin vest. It was obvious that he’d taken pains to clean up for the first Christmas he’d spent with Travis in over a decade. Jesse knew how much it meant to Travis, and invited Sam to sit down at the dining room table. Even Cyrus seemed in a jaunty mood as he laid near the fire, warming himself, his coat scattered with snowflakes that had melted and turned to droplets of water.
“You can take those gifts out and put them under the tree,” he told Travis. “When are we opening them?” he asked Jesse.
“Right after breakfast,” she promised.
“Where’s Blue and Freya?”
“Oh, we’re feeding them down in the basement right now. We’ll let them up when we get ready to open packages.”
Sam nodded, taking the red linen napkin and unfolding it. “Sounds reasonable. Blue is a terror, but he sure makes Cy and I be less bored with his antics.”
Jesse laughed and made her way to the kitchen, preparing her special French toast recipe.
Travis joined her and in no time, they had their fragrant breakfast on the table. Sam was pleased and chose a bunch of crisp bacon as a side. He fed Cy a piece or two in the process, much to the dog’s delight.
“Well, looks like there’s lots of gifts under that tree of yours, son.”
Travis sat at Sam’s left elbow, Jesse on the right. “It’s nice to see us all here,” he said. “That’s the best gift of all, for me.”
Chewing on the French toast, Sam said, “Did you get that green envelope out of the sack?”
“I did.” Travis pointed in the direction of the tree. “Yes, right there. It’s perched on a bough.”
“Oh,” he said, peering at it, “that’s good…good…”
“Did you trim your hair, Sam?” Jesse wondered. Usually it was long and combed, but today, it seemed shorter to her.
“Yes, I came into town and our only barber, Henry, trimmed me up.” He grinned a little. “I guess I’m getting tired of looking like a Phillipsburg sapphire miner.”
Jesse was familiar with the sapphire mining in the Rocky Mountains around Phillipsburg, Montana. Travis had told her that a lot of rock hound tourists would come up in the summer months and try their hand at finding gems in the sandy soil in the forest. “Well, you look very dapper,” she said, enjoying the peanut butter and Kahlua tastes of her French toast. His cheeks turned ruddy. Sam had been through a lot, too. They all had. Life wasn’t easy on anyone, yet here he was trying, she felt, to patch up his relationship with Travis. She knew how much it meant to this man she loved with all her heart and soul. Both he and Sam had been caught in a terrible double loss, and each man had to gut through the grief in their own time and way. Only Sam’s grief was compounded by earlier injuries.
“Thanks,” Sam said, puffing out his chest a bit. “I was thinkin’ that for my age, I didn’t look half as bad as I’d felt before the hydrotherapy treatment came along. I think I look twenty years younger. Don’t you think?”
Brightening, Travis said, “Definitely.” His eyes twinkled. “You’ve always had kind things to say about Sassy Jones, the gal who owns the Montgomery Furniture store in town.”
“Really?” Jesse asked, perking up, giving Sam a merry look.
“Oh, now,” he mumbled, clearly uncomfortable, “Sass and I go back a long way. To childhood. We were born and raised here in Hamilton,” he told Jesse. “And in grade school, I had a crush on her and we were an item of sorts, if you could even call it that. Later, she married Stan Jones, another childhood friend of mine. They had a good marriage, had three kids who are now grown and gone. Stan died five years ago, leavin’ Sass a widow. I felt badly for her because she’s a good person.”
“I’ve yet to meet her.”
“She’s usually over at Sue’s diner at lunch,” Travis said. “I’ll make sure we go over there soon and you can meet her.”
“She’s a real lady, but has an earthy sense of humor that I have always appreciated. As kids, we were always laughing. She made me real happy,” Sam confided to Jesse.
“Hmmm,” Travis said, “maybe that spark between you two never died?”
Jesse gave Sam a warm look. “Just because of your age? The heart never stops loving.”
“Well, now,” Sam sputtered, “don’t either of you get any ideas!”
“But you have a nice past with one another,” Jesse pointed out gently. Sam’s cheeks were a burning red right now. Travis was grinning like a coon who had just stole a cob of corn to eat.
Sam scowled. “The past is the past.”
“Right,” Jesse said, reaching over and patting his arm, teasing in her tone.
Travis traded a wicked look with her but said nothing more. His father was clearly uncomfortable about bringing Sassy up in their conversation. She was his age. Was there a romance there to be stoked to life, perhaps? That would sure get the town talking, he thought, smiling over at Jesse. There was a gleam in her eyes and she knew there was a lot more to this story than he could tell her right now.
After breakfast, they all sat in the living room while Travis brought the wrapped gifts over to Sam, Jesse and himself. There were three from Katie Montgomery, and even one for Freya and Cyrus. Sam was surprised but pleased, setting the wrapped gift on Cy’s paws, who was smelling it appreciatively. Sam also received two gifts from them. After settling all the presents near each of them, Travis said, “How about we let Blue and Freya up?” He headed for the cellar door.
“Yes,” Sam crowed. “I miss seeing Blue!” He leaned over, patting Cyrus on the head. “And so does Cy.”
Jesse smiled and said nothing, watching Travis open the door.
Out shot Blue. He was wearing a knitted blue and red Christmas collar that had been made by Katie.
Sam chuckled and leaned down as the pup licked Cyrus hello on the muzzle and then turned his attention to his favorite human being.
“Why look at this,” he said, pointing to the blue and red knit collar around Blue’s neck. “That’s right purty.”
Travis sat down next to her. “Katie made a Christmas collar for all three dogs. We opened Blue’s earlier because we wanted to give you the pup as a gift.”
Sam’s face fell as Blue settled immediately on his lap, eagerly licking his fingers. “What?” he gasped. “You’re gonna give me Blue?”
Jesse saw the sudden tears of gratefulness in Sam’s eyes. “We sure are, Sam. We talked about this and decided Blue is yours to keep.”
Travis blinked a couple of times, touched that his father had tears in his eyes. He’d never seen him like this. “Sam, that little pup chose you from the beginning. He’s yours if you’d like to keep him?”
“Why, sure I’d like to keep him!” Sam gave Cyrus a warm look. “He likes him, too, you know.”
“We saw that,” Travis agreed, reaching out, squeezing Jesse’s hand. “Then it’s settled. You’ll take Blue home with you. He’s your dog and Cy’s new buddy.”
“And Travis bought you a bag of kibble for him, too. He’ll put it in your truck when you’re ready to leave.”
Sam’s face softened as Blue leaped up, his little paws on Sam’s vest, wagging his stubby tail. He gave Jesse a watery smile. “This is just the best Christmas gift I’ve had since my Sheila and my son Kyle died.” He gave her and Travis a grateful look. “Thank you…both of you…this is just the best gift I could have gotten except for one more.”
“One more?” Travis asked, confused.
“You’ll see,” Sam told him enigmatically, ruffling up the fur on Blue’s back as he cupped his hand beneath his rear and allowed him to play inside the vest, which was a favorite game of his. “But now? Why don’t you each open your gifts I got for you?”
Travis nodded, and handed Jesse her large box. “I think we will,” he replied, tearing into the paper.
Jesse smiled and did the same, paper flying in all directions. Opening her box, she smiled. “Oh, Sam! This is perfect!” She held up the sweater jacket, a bright red with white Christmassy designs. “I really needed this. I was putting off buying one for myself.”
Pleased, Sam said, “Can’t have you cold, Jesse. I’m glad you like it.”
She stood up, pulling it on and zipping it up the front. “Fits perfectly!”
“Thank Travis. He gave me your size so I wouldn’t get it wrong.”
Jesse winked at Travis and he grinned. “What’s in your box?” she asked, pointing to it.
“Dunno…just a minute.” He pulled the top off, revealing a dark green knit sweater with white designs and snowflakes all over it.
“Oh, I like that!” Jesse said, pulling it out. “Come on, put it on, Travis. I want to see you in it.”
Sam chuckled, pleased and watching his son pull it over his head. “You look really good in it,” he told him.
Pulling it down and into place, Travis said, “Well, I got us some fun gifts.” He handed one to Jesse and then to Sam, across the coffee table. “This is to celebrate our family getting together after a long time.”
Jesse heard the thickening emotion in Travis’s voice as he sat down. She opened hers and crowed with laughter, pulling out a Santa Clause hat. “Oh, this is perfect, Travis!” She pulled it on her hair, smiling.
Sam chuckled and held his up. “I like this idea, Travis.” He set Blue down in his lap and pulled on his hat, putting it at a jaunty angle.
“You look great!” Jesse said. Glancing toward Travis, she saw him pull his on. Okay, so this was something fun, but she understood the deeper meaning of it, of a family torn apart decades earlier. The look in Travis’s eyes touched her heart as he smiled over at his father. Truly, it was the right gift to symbolically restart the holiday between him and Sam once more.
“Open your gifts, Sam,” she pleaded.
“Oh, okay,” he said, picking up the small one. “This one is from you, Jesse.”
“Yep,” she said, hardly able to wait to see his reaction. The Ramsey family wasn’t rich in anyone’s world. Travis and Sam had kept the business going and so much of the money was sunk back into it. She’d saved all her money since coming to Hamilton and had bought these two men something she hoped would keep on giving to them.
Sam opened the gift and there was a red envelope inside it. He frowned and then opened it up. Reading it, he lifted his head and gave her grateful look. “You’ve paid for Blue’s veterinary expenses for the first year of his life. That’s,” he choked, looking down at Blue who was watching him intently, “a nice gift, Jesse. Thank you.”
“Emily sells a yearly insurance plan for dogs and cats. I thought it would be nice to take that burden off you, Sam. Most of the costs are in the first year of the dog’s life.”
He nodded. “Thank you,” he said, letting Blue sniff the envelope. “Jesse is gonna make sure you’re a healthy little guy.”
Sam set it aside and then brought Travis’s gift up, setting it on the side of the armchair. “You shouldn’t be getting me anything, son. You already paid for the rebuilding of my porch so that hot tub would fit. That was enough.”
Shrugging, Travis said quietly, “This is something you’ve been wanting ever since I was a kid. It’s about time you got one given to you.”
The gift was the same size as Jesse’s. “Another envelope?”
“Door number two,” Travis teased, giving him an excited look.
Opening it, Sam gasped, “No!” He jerked a look over to Travis. “Are you serious?”
“Sure am,” he said. “That’s a gift certificate to pick out the fly fishing rod of your choice. I know which one you’ve always talked about buying, but we never had the money for it. Now, you do.”
Jesse heard the pride in Travis’s voice as his father continued to look stunned and in disbelief as he read and reread the gift certificate. She knew from discussing fly fishing rods with Travis before, that their clients were all rich and could afford the best rods in the world when they went fly fishing. The rods they brought with them could easily cost five to ten thousand dollars apiece. Sam had wished for a handmade bamboo fly rod his whole life and could never afford such an extravagance. He had a favorite maker and Travis had given his father a thirty-five-hundred-dollar gift certificate to visit the rod maker in Missoula.
“I can’t believe this,” Sam whispered.
“You’re no longer in pain,” Travis said. “You can go out and do the fly fishing you did all your life until the pain stopped you. Now, you can take out day fishermen and bring your own rod along that’s just as good or better than theirs.”
Sam set the certificate aside. “I just never thought I’d ever have something like this.” His lower lip quivered. “Thank you, son. I don’t know how you did this. We live on such a thin line between being in the red and black.”
“I’d been putting money away for a long time before I left the military, Sam. I had it in the credit union and had the money wired from our local bank to the rod maker, so a gift certificate could be created for you.”
Jesse got up and went around the coffee table, giving Sam a gentle hug. “Merry Christmas, Sam. We’re both so happy you’re going to order a handmade rod and by spring of next year you’ll be out catching trout for all of us. We do expect some fab trout dinners with you.”
Sam hugged her in return. “You’re somethin’ else, Jesse. Thank you.”
She turned to the couch, pointing at her gift to Travis. “Open mine?”
Travis took the huge silver wrapped box and pulled off the bright red ribbon. When he opened the box, his expression changed to surprise.
“A sheepskin coat!” he rasped, giving her a shocked look. Pulling it out, he saw it was a Shepler, one of the best made, and very necessary for long, cold Montana winters.
“Do you like it? Sam was telling me you wore out your old one last year, and that it was really pathetic looking, Travis. This one will last you a good decade like the other one did.”
He reached over, curving his hand around her neck, giving her a swift, deep kiss. “Thank you. I like gifts that keep on giving. Every time I wear it, I’ll think that it’s your arms around me.”
Sam cleared his throat. “Well, what did you get, Jesse?” he inquired, raising a white eyebrow.
“Something wonderful,” she told the elder. Getting up, she held out her right hand. “It’s a friendship ring, Sam.”
He picked up her hand. “Mighty purty, but can’t match you. What does a friendship ring mean?”
She smiled. “That we’re serious about one another, that we want to be together to see where our relationship is going to grow.”
“Humph. Like a pre-engagement ring?” he asked, looking up into her smiling eyes.
“Yes,” Travis said. “That’s a better way of putting it. We’re committed to one another, Sam. That’s the bottom line.”
“Good,” he congratulated them. He released her hand. “If I were you, son? I wouldn’t let this filly range too far away from you.”
“No, I’m not going to,” Travis said, smiling as Jesse came and sat down next to him, her hand resting on his thigh.
“Well, this is just good news all around,” Sam said, nodding and petting Blue who had his head tucked inside his vest, asleep. “You gonna open up my gift to you?”
Travis leaned down, scooping it off the coffee table. “Last but not least,” he promised, sitting up and opening the green envelope.
Jesse saw his face become suddenly emotional as he opened the letter inside it. Tears came to his eyes and he didn’t try to hide them as he looked up at Sam who was staring intently at him. “This,” he rasped, “is…” but he couldn’t finish, swallowing hard.
Sam got up, set Blue on the rug and came around the coffee table. “Come here, son,” he said, holding out his hand toward him.
Travis handed her the scrawled note as he stood up.
Swiftly looking at it, Jesse saw Sam grab his son and hold him in a long, tight embrace. The note said, “Dear son, I love you. Please call me Dad from now on? I don’t deserve it, but I want a second chance to be a real father to you once again. I’m sorry for all the hurt and pain I’ve caused you. Love, your dad.”
A lump formed in her throat as she saw the two men cling mutely to one another. So much loss and pain had separated them for so many, many years. Tears filmed her vision and the warmth of them trailed down her cheeks as she held the scrawled words on that piece of lined paper. Every hand-scrawled word meant the world to Travis. Sam had the courage, the love, to ask his only son to come back and be loved by him once again. It was more a story of a prodigal father returning home than the Bible’s story about the prodigal son returning back to his family. She sniffed and saw that both men were unashamedly crying. There were decades of grief and hurt in those hot tears they released, and she sat there realizing the thaw in the winter of their relationship had truly begun.
The Christmas music conspired to make the best gift that Travis had ever received that much more special for him and his father.
“Okay,” Sam said, his voice low and wobbly, “we have to start this Christmas tradition in our family and with one another.” He clapped Travis on the back as he eased away, wiping the tears on his face. “I was wrong to ask you to call me Sam. It was me, son, not you. I-I just couldn’t take any more pain. I’d had too much, and I didn’t have the strength to extend anything to you at the time.”
“I understand,” Travis said hoarsely. “We both got dealt a double blow…”
He patted his son’s drooping shoulder. “But it was my burden to carry, not yours. I threw off my responsibility to you, which wasn’t right or fair. The past couple of weeks, with the pain going away, I began to realize what had happened, and how I was reactin’ to it. I realized what I’d done to you, and I’m here to apologize for it and tell you it’s never gonna happen again.”
Travis pulled a white handkerchief from his back pocket, blowing his nose. “I never blamed you…Dad…”
“I figured you were far ahead of me on what happened and why I sank so low afterward. Sheila was the love of my life. No one can ever replace her. That totaled me and took me to a dark place. When Kyle died in that auto accident, I felt as if the world had shattered forever around me. I just didn’t have the guts or strength to fight through it. I was consumed by it and I took it out on you.” He gripped Travis’s shoulder. “I’m so damned sorry, son. I’d do anything to make things right between us from now on. If,” he said brokenly, “you’ll give me a second chance to behave like the father you deserved all along…”
Travis gripped Sam’s hand in his. “There’s nothing to forgive, Dad. I love you. I never stopped loving you. I understood what had happened to you.” He glanced down at Jesse who watched them with compassion. “If I lost Jesse, I’m sure I’d go to just as dark a place as when Mom suddenly died and we lost her. I’m not here to judge you. And yes, I want that second chance with you, Dad. I love you…”
*
“I love this picture your dad took of us with Freya,” Jesse said, holding up a printed copy to Travis. They had just said goodbye to Sam, seeing Cyrus off with Blue in the pickup. She couldn’t decide which of the three were happier with the addition of the little puppy. Blue would change the dynamic at Sam’s cabin, but in a good way.
Travis dried his hands after putting the dishes into the dishwasher. Outside, the snow continued to fall in lazy, dancing flakes across the sky. He looked at the photo and smiled. “Freya looks so happy.”
Sliding her arm around his waist and drawing him against her, she whispered, “So do we.”
He looked up and slid his arm around her shoulders. “This Christmas is so special. Dad and I haven’t celebrated one since I was home and I know before that, he refused invites from his friends here in Hamilton, as well.”
Sighing, she leaned her head against his shoulder, contentment filling her. “Grief eventually comes to a place where you can get on with your life from what I can see,” she said. “I think Sam reached that plateau within himself.”
“He gave us thoughtful gifts, too.”
“Yes, he did. I think he’s trying to atone for his behavior toward you, Travis. Don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.” He laid the photo on the counter and turned, resting his hips against the counter and enfolding Jesse against the front of him.
“I think Sam’s trying very hard, and he’s been brutally honest toward you and what he’s done to make your life as miserable as his.”
“It’s the past now,” he murmured against her hair, kissing the gleaming strands. “There’s nowhere but up from here, Jesse, for all of us, including you.”
“Hamilton has been good for me,” she agreed. “Especially you, the red caboose and Freya, plus her pups.”
He eased her away from him enough to meet her softened gaze. “That boxcar started off a whole new chapter of life for you. If you hadn’t had the courage to come and hunt me down as the owner of it, none of this would have happened. You’re so much stronger than you realize, sweetheart.” He kissed her wrinkled brow, feeling it smooth beneath his mouth. He settled his hands around her hips, Jesse content to be melded against him. “Do you agree?”
Nodding, Jesse rested her hands against his chest, feeling the softness of the green and white sweater he wore. “I do. I think we’ve all been good for one another in many different ways. This has truly been a boxcar Christmas. In some wistful way, I feel the spirit of Hiram and Inez with us tonight, too. Maybe now, Sam will start to soften toward his own parents and bury the past, realizing that you can’t kill love and that it will return to you.”
“It takes a village,” he agreed, using his index finger to push a few strands away from her face. “I don’t know about you, but this winter is going to be a huge change in our lives in good ways. My dad loved the idea of having his own rod made. He’s entertained that dream all his life. I remember him talking about it when I was a kid…about owning an expensive bamboo fly rod, which was the ultimate for him.”
She reached up and kissed the tip of his nose. “I feel your greatest gift is having Sam ask you to call him Dad once again.”
Travis breathed in deeply and released it. “I didn’t expect that. It was such a shock. It shook me to my soul, and I couldn’t stop crying.”
“Your dad knew how important a gift it would be…to give you back your father once more. He needed that cry. Tears are always good and they’re an emotional release valve for everyone.”
“Some of the greatest gifts can’t be bought,” he agreed, his voice low with feeling.
“And we gave Blue to him. That was something that couldn’t be bought either. By coming out here with Cyrus, Blue worked his way into Sam’s heart. Someday, when Cy passes, Blue will be a great comfort to him.”
“If Dad continues to improve, I know he’ll want to take day clients out like he did before. And Cy is too old and crippled up to go with him, but he’ll have Blue, instead.”
“It’s a gift that will keep giving for a long, long time.”
Freya came up, her blue eyes shining with happiness, wedging herself between their legs as they separated to allow her entrance. Travis had put the knitted red and green collar on her and she looked perfect with it around her neck.
“I think she’ll miss her puppies for a while,” Travis murmured, petting her head.
“I’m sure she’ll see all of them from time to time. Especially Blue, because Freya will be with you at the office.”
He nodded and cupped her face, kissing her gently. As he drew away, he whispered, “I love you, Jesse. The gifts from this Christmas are just beginning for all of us.”
“For all of us…”
“Love isn’t something that can be bought or sold,” he said, releasing her.
Freya moved on to the water dish.
Jesse stood with him at the edge of the kitchen, looking into the glow of the tree along with the fire crackling. Outside, it was snowing more heavily now, the dark green of Douglas fir covered with the white stuff. It was a perfect Christmas morning. Her heart swelled with joy because she knew that spring of next year would bring new changes. It would be a good time to marry Travis. Who knew? Maybe if Sam continued to be more like his old self, he might get interested in Sassy Jones, his grade school sweetheart! Her own life had taken difficult twists and turns. Having family meant everything to her and she wanted to call her mom and dad, to tell them the wonderful news about her new relationship with Travis. They would be happy for her. Relieved, too, that she was finally starting to knit her life back together again, one pearl at a time. It was a quaint analogy, but that was how Jesse felt. Every day had triumphs and setbacks. That’s how healing went. Finding love had not been on her radar and she realized just how important it was to her journey as well. Yes, this Christmas that started out with a boxcar in a meadow, had led her forward to the most important chapter in her life—with Travis and courageous Freya, along with the good people of Hamilton and especially the love of her parents buttressing her efforts to climb out of the darkness and into the light once more. Travis gave her a space to heal, always there, never a shadow in her life, but someone who filled her daily with support and hope. She would love him forever.
END