Chapter 1
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“I met someone.”
Not a lot surprised Evan Bishop, but those were not the first words he’d expected out of his ex-girlfriend’s mouth when she’d asked to meet him for coffee.
“Oh.” He said as he leaned against the back of the chair he’d just lowered into. “That’s great.”
“And, um, we’re…” Her voice went high, the way that it always did when she was nervous. She looked down at her lap before lifting her left hand to reveal a sparkling, large diamond ring. “We’re getting married!”
Noelle Hopper had been a large part of Evan’s life since elementary school. Twenty-five years—a quarter of a century—that was how long he’d known the green-eyed beauty sitting in front of him. They’d been together, on and off, about half that time. And now she was walking down the aisle with another man. As he stared at the universal symbol of forever on the hand of the only woman he’d ever loved, he forced himself to smile. And speak.
“Wow. Congratulations.”
“I wanted you to hear it from me.” She took in a shaky breath as she tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “I didn’t want you to see it on Instagram, or hear about it from your mom.”
“My mom knows?”
The past week had been crazy. He’d been out on a field exercise with his newly formed hotshot crew. He’d missed a few calls from his mom. He’d planned on calling her back today, but now he wished he’d done that sooner. If he had, then maybe this coffee date wouldn’t have blindsided him the way that it had.
“She does.” Noelle nodded, causing her dark hair to fall over her shoulders. “I ran into her at Zumba class the other day.”
“Oh, right.” He remembered his mom telling him that she and Noelle took the same dance fitness class about a year ago.
“And she noticed the ring.” Noelle stared down at her hand.
It would be hard to miss. Whatever Noelle’s fiancé did, he was successful at it.
“Yeah. And you know what’s so funny?”
He really didn’t. For the life of him, nothing about this was funny. “What?”
“She knows my fiancé.”
“She does.” That settled it. From now on, he would always make sure to get back to his mom in a timely manner.
“She does! He’s her internist.”
“Dr. York?”
“Oh.” She blinked several times. “Has she mentioned him before?”
“Yeah.” She’d done a lot more than mention him. She’d talked about him so much, Evan felt like he knew the guy.
“Well, Tate loves Connie,” Noelle enthused.
Tate. Dr. Tate York. It sounded like he belonged on one of the daytime soaps that his mom used to watch.
“The feeling is mutual.” That was an understatement. Evan’s mom hadn’t stopped talking about the guy since she’d started going to him last year. She’d called him everything from a miracle worker to a straight-up god. Once she’d said she wished she had a daughter or that either Evan or one of his three brothers were gay so that she could set him up with one of her sons.
“When I told him that Connie was your mom, he couldn’t believe it.”
“You told him about me?” Evan wasn’t sure what she would’ve had to say. The last time they’d tried to make it work, things had ended with her in tears. Somehow, like always, they’d remained friends.
Noelle’s head tilted to the right and her brow furrowed. “Of course I did.”
Her response made the impulse to ask what she’d told him even stronger, but he resisted it. The truth was, it didn’t matter.
Also, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what she’d said. As much as he’d tried, and he had tried, to be the man that Noelle deserved, he’d failed. Time and time again.
There were always reasons, but as he looked back now, he wasn’t sure they weren’t just excuses.
He could drive himself crazy thinking about it. So many times, he could’ve made a different decision or chosen a different path. He always seemed to choose the one that he felt he had to travel alone.
After their high school graduation, she got on a plane to New York to study at Columbia while he stayed in California to play rookie ball. She’d wanted to stay together; he thought the distance would be too much on their relationship.
At twenty-two, he’d just finished his first year in the big leagues and she was back in California. They reunited. They’d lasted two years. That was his fault. He’d sustained a career-ending injury, after which he’d developed an addiction to pain medication that took two bouts of rehab to recover from. She’d stayed with him through all of it, but he’d pulled away.
At twenty-seven, they’d tried again. He’d gotten his life back on track and started his new career as a firefighter. That time they’d made it three years. She’d gotten pregnant and lost the baby. She’d wanted to try again. To get married and try again. He hadn’t been ready to do either of those things so they’d decided it was best to take a break.
Then during that break—which turned out to be their final breakup—he’d accepted a position with a hotshot crew in Southern California. In his mind it would make it easier to have a clean break. The only problem was, it was never clean. They spoke every few weeks. Whenever he was visiting his parents, they would see each other. She’d even visited him several times. Up until a year ago, that is. Hindsight being twenty-twenty, he knew why the calls and visits had stopped.
To him, it had never felt like it was really over.
Then, a few months ago, in what now seemed like a cruel twist of fate, he’d had an epiphany after suffering from several severe injuries. This time they weren’t career ending, but they were serious. During the Basin Hills fire that devastated thousands of miles of land, he’d sustained quite a bit of trauma. He’d dislocated his shoulder, cracked two ribs, reinjured his elbow, and splintered his tibia. During his recovery he’d worried about relapsing, but he hadn’t.
Those months were difficult, and he’d had to do a lot of alternative pain management, but he’d made it through. About a week into his physical therapy, during one of his darker days when the pain had been particularly unbearable, he’d been struck with an insight about himself and his hesitancy to settle down and start a family. He realized the reason he hadn’t been ready was because he hadn’t known if he could trust himself not to relapse. But now he did. He’d made it through and had come out the other side.
He’d accepted a promotion that would bring him back to Northern California.
In his mind, the timing had been perfect. He was back. He was ready for a new chapter in his life. He was finally ready to commit to Noelle.
And it looked like it was too little, too late.
“There’s something else.” Noelle took a deep breath. “Something that your mom doesn’t know.”
Evan’s heart lodged in his throat.
“I’m…” Her face flushed as she glanced down at the table.
He’d seen that look on her face once before. His heart sank.
“You’re pregnant,” he finished for her.
“I’m pregnant.” Tears caused her eyes to become glossy.
“Congratulations.” The word sounded hollow to his own ears. Like he was hearing it through a long tube.
“I’m in my second trimester, so things look,” her shoulders shrugged as she sniffed. “They look good.”
“Good.” He blankly repeated the last word she’d spoken then saw the worried expression on her face, and mentally slapped himself. Whatever he was experiencing didn’t matter. Noelle was pregnant. She was engaged to a man that even had his mom’s approval. He should be happy for her.
The news was hitting him in waves. He tried to absorb it all, but his brain was having a rough time. This morning had been a clusterfuck from the start. He’d slept through his alarm and woke up to find that Noelle was already waiting at the coffee shop. He’d jumped out of bed, showered, dressed, and was in his truck in under five minutes. Except his truck wouldn’t start. But thankfully, everything in Hope Falls was within walking distance and he’d made it down to the coffee shop in under ten minutes.
As soon as he’d stepped inside Brewed Awakenings, Noelle waved him over, and he went directly to the table and sat down. He really wished that he’d stopped at the counter first to grab some coffee. Processing this information would be a lot easier if he had some caffeine.
“Hey there, what can I get you two?”
Evan glanced up and saw Vivien standing next to the table. He was surprised that he hadn’t noticed her approach them. Besides the fact that with her striking red hair the self-proclaimed Jessica Rabbit look-alike was hard to miss, Evan was always aware of his surroundings. His peripheral vision was sharper than most and panoramic in scope. He could look straight ahead at twelve o’clock and tell you the pattern on the tie of the man sitting at five o’clock. It was a skill he’d developed during his baseball days that was equally valuable while fighting fires. His being totally unaware was proof of just how much Noelle’s news had thrown him.
“Hey.” Evan was relieved for the interruption. It would give him time to try and wrap his brain around things. “Noelle this is Vivien, she and her sister Audrey own this place.”
Vivien had quickly become one of Evan’s favorite people since he’d moved to Hope Falls three weeks earlier. She was bold, outspoken, and hilarious. She got straight to the point and always said what was on her mind, which he appreciated. People often got intimidated by him because of his size and what his family lovingly referred to as his “death stare” but not Vivien. He was pretty sure that nothing intimidated her.
The first time he’d met her she’d grilled him for a good ten minutes on whether or not he was single and what his type was. He’d given her short, vague responses without revealing much. His reluctance to talk didn’t stop her from bringing it up every time he saw her. She was relentless about getting answers and even commented that the strong-silent thing he had going on only made him that much more mysterious and intriguing. He assumed that her curiosity in his personal life was the reason she’d left her post behind the counter and made an unprecedented visit to their table.
“I was just about to go up and order,” he explained.
“That’s all right. I can grab it.” She glanced between him and Noelle then back at him with a twinkle in her eye. “You two look like you’re in the middle of something.”
The glint told him that she’d definitely be grilling him about this later. “I’ll have my usual.”
Her head dipped in a nod and she turned to Noelle. “And what can I get you, hon?”
“Oh, um…I’ll have…” Noelle looked up at the oversized chalkboard that listed the café’s daily specials.
As she decided on what to order, Evan tried to take a moment and collect himself. He wasn’t used to the helpless feeling that was sitting like a rock in his gut or the desperate uncertainty that was clouding his mind. The unexpected news Noelle had told him had him feeling lost in a mental and emotional fog.
All of his life Evan had been decisive. He assessed a situation, decided on an action, and took it. No hesitation. No second guessing. No looking back.
That trait was one of the key reasons he’d moved up the ranks so quickly from firefighter, to hotshot, to running his own hotshot crew. The position he held of superintendent took decisive leadership in life-threatening situations. And he’d met and exceeded all challenges that had been thrown at him. It didn’t matter what blaze he faced or the conditions he faced them in, he never faltered. He was clear-minded. He was self-assured. He was in control.
All things he didn’t feel as he sat across from Noelle now.
After Noelle made her selection, Vivien exclaimed, “Good choice. That’s my favorite!” Then winked at him before walking back behind the counter.
Noelle sat quietly for a moment as she looked around the cozy coffee shop, then observed, “I like the Old Hollywood theme.”
Evan glanced around at the black-and-white portraits of Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Cary Grant, and other recognizable faces of the era. He’d never really taken in the décor before.
“Oh, I just got it!” Noelle’s expression brightened.
“Got what?”
“The theme.” Her hand moved in a sweeping motion. “It’s because of their names.”
“Whose names?” Evan wondered aloud.
“Vivien and Audrey.” She pointed to two photos on the opposite wall. “Vivien Leigh and Audrey Hepburn.”
Evan recognized Audrey Hepburn but not the other woman. “I don’t even know who Vivien Leigh is.”
“She was Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind.” Noelle scooted forward in her chair as she explained, “We watched it together, remember? It was when I went through my classic movie phase.”
Evan hadn’t thought about that for so long, but a grin instantly appeared on his face when he did. “The summer before freshman year.”
“Yes, that’s right!” she exclaimed. “I was worried about being mature enough for high school, and I thought that if I had classic movie knowledge, I would fit in.”
“Right. Because that’s what all the teenagers were talking about. Casablanca and Citizen Kane.” He’d always found the way Noelle’s mind worked fascinating, and this was a prime example.
“I know, right?” She laughed at herself. “I really had my finger on the pulse of teen culture. I still can’t believe you put up with it.”
“I fell asleep through most of them.” That summer he’d been playing Babe Ruth baseball and had weight training three days a week for freshman football. He’d been so exhausted when they’d hang out that when she’d put on a movie, he’d pass out within the first few minutes.
“Oh yeah, I forgot. You did.” Her head tilted, and she held out her hand. “Which would explain why you didn’t recognize the beautiful Vivien Leigh.”
“Yep.”
“This place is just…adorable.” She glanced around the café and then out the window. “The whole town.”
“It is.” He agreed.
“When I was driving in I felt like I was entering a Hallmark movie.”
He chuckled, knowing that they weren’t done talking about her news.
This was what they did whenever something significant happened in one of their lives, or they were discussing something serious. They would bookend the conversation. Important or difficult subject intro, small talk filler, important or difficult subject wrap-up.
The first time they broke up, right out of high school, that’d happened. He told her that he didn’t think they should try to make it work long distance, she told him that she wanted to try. Then they talked about Miles Jenson streaking through the ceremony and that Mr. Walters mispronounced Guy Fuchs last name. Before the conversation circled back to the beginning they’d decided that if both of them weren’t fully committed to making it work, then they should part ways.
The same thing had happened back when her grandmother, who’d lived with her since she was five, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and was going to be placed in a senior care home. She’d told him. Then they’d discussed what they were going to do for Halloween that year, before he finally opened his arms and she crumbled against him. She’d told him how sad and scared she was, and then cried until she had no more tears left.
That’s exactly what was going on here.
“I can see why your family loves it here.”
Eli was Evan’s younger brother, the youngest of the four brothers, and the first Bishop to move to Hope Falls eight years ago when he was hired as a rookie for the Hope Falls Fire Department. Their cousin Deanna had followed two years back and was the first female firefighter here in town. And now Evan was here. Eli liked to say that the Bishops were taking over.
Her face grew more serious. “How are you feeling? Your mom said that you were doing a lot better.”
“I am,” Evan assured her.
“She said that you tried acupuncture and meditation.”
“I did.” He’d tried quite a few alternative treatments.
Her chuckle filled the space around them. “I would’ve loved to see that. Did you give the acupuncturist the death stare?”
“She was spared.” Evan smiled. The infamous death stare. Evan’s older brothers had teased Evan of having it before he could even talk. There was a framed photograph in his parents’ living room featuring a one-year-old Evan staring directly into the camera and giving it the death stare. “My eyes were closed.”
His family’s current running joke was that Eleven from Stranger Things had stolen her stare from him.
“Good. Oh, and your mom also said that—” Noelle’s expression grew animated as she scooted forward in her chair and whispered, “Kyle Austen Reed was going to be filming a movie here in Hope Falls.” Her emerald eyes were sparkling with delight. “Have you met him? Does Eli know him?”
“Eli’s known him for years. I met him last week.”
Kyle had shadowed Evan’s crew on a field exercise and offered Evan a position as a technical consultant on the film which he turned down. He couldn’t accept the offer because later today he was going to be seeing his doctor and once he got cleared from any physical restrictions he’d be back with his crew full-time.
“What’s he like?” She whispered again. “Is he normal? Down to earth?”
Evan had to laugh at those descriptions.
“No. Those would not be the words I would use to describe him. The man introduces himself to everyone using all three of his names.”
“He does?”
“Yes. He says, ‘Hello, I’m Kyle Austen Reed,’ but that sounds worse than it is. He’s not being pretentious. It’s just…him. He’s the real-life version of Jon Hamm in that episode of 30 Rock. He’s in the bubble, but, he seems like a really good guy.”
“That’s good. You know I’ve always loved him.”
“Really?” Evan faked ignorance.
“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes and grinned.
Vivien materialized beside them, but this time he’d clocked her several tables away. She set down his usual, which was plain old coffee, black and then placed a drink that looked to have more whipped cream than liquid in front of Noelle. “Here you go.”
“Thank you.” Noelle took a sip and closed her eyes as she hummed, mmm.
“It’s good, right?” Vivien cosigned as Noelle nodded her head. “I had to limit myself to one a week because I put on five pounds the first two weeks we started serving it. I was having two a day. Oh!” She turned to Evan and pointed at him. “I just heard that Shayne Fox is going to be in Kyle’s movie. Is it true?”
“Shayne Fox?!” Noelle’s eyes bounced from Vivien to Evan expectantly.
“I don’t know who he is.” His response had both women looking at him like he’d grown another head. “What?”
“Shayne is a she, not a he,” Vivien emphasized.
“Oh.” Evan knew that there was a female hotshot in the movie, but he had no idea who was going to be playing the role.
“She was Mindy Reader,” Noelle said as if that would clear things up.
Evan still had no clue.
“Teenage mind reader who solves crimes,” Vivien filled in the basics. “It was bigger than Hannah Montana.”
“Oh, she’s dating Blane Freely. He’s the young cop on Boys in Blue.” Noelle looked hopeful that would ring a bell.
It didn’t.
“She’s also known for being a party girl. A bunch of stories just came out about her being in rehab,” Vivien said matter-of-factly.
Noelle and Evan exchanged a weighted look. It’d been ten years since he’d completed his second stint in rehab. He rarely talked about it, and most people that weren’t in his life then had no idea that he’d ever had an issue with it. But the people that did, knew it wasn’t his favorite topic.
Vivien, entirely oblivious to the moment that passed between Evan and Noelle continued trying to spark some recognition. “She’s in that movie that’s out now, Unsolicited.”
“Yeah,” Noelle nodded her head. “It’s a psychological thriller.”
He hadn’t been to the movies since the Star Wars prequels came out.
“Oh and she was Marilyn Monroe in that biopic…what was it called?” Vivien waved her hand as she tried to remember.
“Discovering Marilyn.” Noelle clapped her hands together.
That got his attention, not because he had any idea who Shayne Fox was but because of his longtime affection for the fifties icon. His parents had always been Marilyn fans. His mom had the famous shot of her in a white-dress standing over a grate hanging in their family room. He’d always been drawn to it and he’d gained a new appreciation for it during his formative years.
His ex’s enthusiasm continued as she explained, “She was so good in it. She even got nominated for an Oscar.”
“She should’ve won.” Vivien declared before glancing over her shoulder. “I better get back. You guys enjoy.”
When she walked away, there was a beat of silence before Noelle said, “Jazzy loves Shayne Fox. Molly has to bribe her so that she can wash her Mindy Reader shirt.”
Evan had always gotten along with Noelle’s older sister Molly, and since none of his brothers had any kids, six-year-old Jasmine was the closest thing that he had to a niece.
“If she does end up being in the movie, you should bring Jazzy up to meet her.” Evan offered before his brain had time to process what he was saying.
“Seriously?” Her face lit up. “Can you do that?”
He nodded. “I think so. Kyle shadowed the hotshot crew and said that we were all welcome on set and we could bring our families.”
The moment the word families left his mouth his heart sank. That wasn’t the relationship he and Noelle had anymore.
A genuine smile spread across her face. “Thanks.”
Knowing it was the right thing to do, he said, “You should bring Tate.”
“Really? Are you sure.”
No. “Yeah.”
“Thanks.” Emotion caused a tremor in the word. She stared at him for a moment before she began, “Evan, I…”
When she didn’t continue, he leaned his forearms on the table and knew it was time to boomerang the conversation back to the original topic. He felt his stomach turn as he stared down at his hands for a moment before looking back up and asking the only question that really mattered. “Are you happy?”
The smile that spread across her face was the only answer he needed, but she confirmed it by saying, “Yes.”
“Then, I’m happy for you.”
Tears filled her bottom lids. “You are?”
“You know that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. To be happy.”
She nodded as a single tear fell down her cheek.
“You deserve the best, and if even half of what my mom has said about your fiancé is true, then that’s what you got.”
“Thank you.” He could see the relief that his well wishes had given her. “The wedding is in ten weeks.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, it’s a shotgun wedding,” she laughed. “We wanted to wait until…” Her chin dropped as her hand rested on her belly. “Until I was a little bit farther along, but we both want to be married before the baby comes.” When she lifted her head again, he saw that there was still uncertainty in her eyes. “And, um, I would love for you to be there. I understand if you don’t want to be. I know it’s a lot to ask, and you don’t have to answer now. I just wanted you to know that I want you there. But, as I said, I would completely understa—”
“I’ll be there.” He didn’t make promises because he hated disappointing people. And with her wedding falling right in the middle of his fire season, he knew that this was the last thing he should be doing now. But this was Noelle. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Her head nodded as another tear dropped down her cheek. She wiped it and smiled. “I’m sorry. It’s just hormones. Thank you, Evan. You know that no matter what, I’ll always lo—”
“I know.” He cut her off. “I know.”
He couldn’t hear her say the words. Not today. Maybe someday. But not today.