Chapter Six
Levi
I stood in front of the case of Jamison without making a move to grab a bottle. I must have been there for at least a few minutes, debating about whether I wanted a drink to calm my nerves or not. I knew I needed to stay alert because there was always a slim chance that Gavin asshole could come knocking on my door at any time. It wasn’t likely, but it was still possible. I wouldn’t be able to protect Ezra, or myself, if I was shit-faced.
What was almost stunning to me was that I wasn’t craving a drink. It was a habit at that point to turn to whiskey, but I didn’t need it. I normally needed the booze to numb the guilt I felt over the death of Stephen, Danny, and my parents. The Jamison would blunt my memories and let me sleep. It had been a long time since I’d waited until bedtime for my first drink. I’d gotten to the point where I’d considered it a success to wait until after breakfast to hit the booze. More than once, I’d wanted to put a little nip, or a big one, in my coffee.
I went back into the living room without a bottle of whiskey. “You look like you need some more rest. Maybe you should take a nap?”
“I am feeling tired, but I could use a shower. Would that be okay?”
“I’ve got a shirt you can borrow and a pair of sweatpants with a drawstring. They should fit okay.”
I’d certainly seen smaller Omegas. Ezra wasn’t huge like an Alpha, but he wasn’t a dainty twink either. He was lean, but still muscular. It reminded me of the way water polo players were built.
“Thank you so much for taking care of me,” Ezra said.
“You’ve got pretty low standards if you think I’ve done anything that you should be thankful for.” I felt terrible for my surly attitude, and for wanting him out of the cabin.
“You fixed my leg. I could have bled to death if you hadn’t, so you saved my life. You shared your food with me, even though I know you don’t exactly have easy access to buy more. I’d guess you have to wait for a delivery, or at the very least, you can’t go to the store until the snow clears. That was a risk,” Ezra said. “You’re taking a huge risk for me.”
I knew he wasn’t talking about sharing the food. Ezra was doing his best to look relaxed and unbothered, but I could see the terror in his eyes every time they flicked over to the door. He was afraid that at any moment, Gavin would show up and take him.
Anger rose from my gut into the back of my throat. I didn’t know why, but it made me furious that someone would hurt Ezra. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to do anything but make him feel cared for and happy.
“Why don’t you go shower? I’ll wait here and guard the door.”
Ezra smiled weakly at me. He was still scared.
“Alright.”
“If it makes you feel any better, you can lock the bedroom door and the bathroom door. Okay?”
He nodded at me and headed toward the bathroom. I heard the bedroom door lock after Ezra closed it. I tried not to take it personally. He didn’t know me, and he’d been through hell.
I made sure we had enough wood to last through the night and searched the pantry for something to eat for dinner. It wasn’t time yet, but I wanted to at least try to bring Ezra some comfort. I found two boxes of mac n cheese and set them on the counter before returning to the living room.
After a while, the shower went off. A few minutes later, Ezra emerged in the old pair of sweatpants and T-shirt I’d given him.
“You have a lot of books on your bookshelf,” he said.
They hadn’t been mine. Stephen loved to read, and I hadn’t been able to get rid of his collection of novels. I kept them on a bookshelf in my bedroom. I guessed it helped me feel close to him.
“It’s okay if you want to read one. There isn’t much else to do around here,” I said.
It was hard to say that. I never in a million years thought I would let someone touch Stephen’s books, but it’s what Stephen would have wanted. The thought of me locking books away and not letting someone else enjoy them would have pissed him off to no end.
“Thank you,” Ezra said, and retreated to the bookshelf to browse.
He came out a bit later and curled up on the sofa with the book he’d chosen. I asked him if he’d be okay with me working around the cabin, and when he agreed, I set to some maintenance tasks I’d neglected for the past month or so while I was too busy drinking and feeling sorry for myself.
After a few hours of patching, nailing, and painting, I felt better than I had in months. No, I felt better than I had in years. I put my tools away and washed my hands and face before rejoining Ezra in the living room.
“Hungry?” I asked.
“Macaroni and cheese with meatballs is in the oven,” Ezra said with a smile.
“What?”
“You left the macaroni and cheese on the counter. I found some ground beef in the deep freezer, so I made some meatballs. The whole thing came together beautifully with a thick layer of cheddar cheese. It’s in the oven. The casserole will be done in a few minutes,” Ezra said, and put the book down. “I suppose I should set the table.”
“When did you do all that?”
“While you were banging around in the spare room down the hall. I figured making dinner was the least I could do. It’s nice to have an Alpha to cook for,” Ezra said, and then looked at the floor. An adorable blush colored his cheeks, and I realized he’d said more than he meant.
“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll set the table.”
It was kind of amazing what Ezra had done with two boxes of macaroni and cheese and a pound of ground beef. I hadn’t had a meal like that for a very long time. We ate quietly, and I noticed that Ezra was yawning and rubbing his eyes a lot.
“You should get to bed,” I said. “I’ll handle the dishes. There’s a loft in the bedroom above the bed. I’m sure you saw the ladder when you were in there. The mattress up there came with the cabin when I bought it, but I checked. It’s in pretty good shape. I made it up with sheets and a spare pillow for you.”
“Thank you,” Ezra said and stood up. “I’m going to use the restroom, and then I will go to bed.”
A few minutes later, I went into the bedroom to check on Ezra. He was climbing up the loft ladder as I walked into the room. The view of his full bubble butt climbing up the rungs was almost enough to take my breath away. A part of my body that had been asleep for a long time sprung to life. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that yet.