Nate agreed to Kai’s proposed plan. At first, he was resistant, but then Kai sweetened the deal and pointed out that they couldn’t have a proper ceremony for Nate’s mom’s ashes if he wouldn’t get back out on the water.
It was the one thing that pushed him past his fears–to be able to honor his mother the way she would have wanted.
Uncle Ravi had a prosthetic left leg, very similar to Nate’s. Kai left him alone with the elderly man for an hour. During that time, he listened to a man that outwardly appeared broken, but inwardly had more gumption than half of the men in his unit combined. Toward the end of his visit, Ravi coaxed Nate to the water’s edge, but it was as far as he would go. Ravi, swam out to the break line waiting for his wave.
As Nate held his hand over his eyes shielding them from the sun, he envied the man’s resolve. That was what he needed, but how could he get from where he was to there? He watched enviously as the old man rode the board with ease, his metal prosthetic only noticeable if you knew it was there. It was as though the artificial limb was now a part of him making him complete.
The next day, they went to visit Uncle Phan. He was a crotchety old guy, looking much older than his actual age of sixty-five. Uncle Phan had both of his legs blown off in Vietnam and never moved past it. He functioned in his house, but fear controlled his life. It was evident in the slight nuances of how timid he was about rolling over a threshold or hesitant to try anything new.
While Phan poured over an old photo album, reliving the worst days of his life, Nate turned to Kai. His cousin had done the impossible and changed his mind.
“I get it. Door number one.”
As they rode back to Kai’s house, Nate took Kini’s business card out of his pocket. She had written her personal number on the back for him to reach her any time. He took a big breath, hoping he wasn’t too late.
* * *
Nathan sat at the kitchen table turning the card repeatedly, stalling. Would it be better to walk over to her apartment? Or in his case, hobble?
He drained the bottle of Powerade, then made his way to the bathroom. In person was probably his best chance. The reflection that met him was sad looking. He'd stopped shaving, hadn't gotten a haircut, hell, he hadn't even bathed regularly.
His haggard appearance aged him by at least ten years as he noticed the lines and dark circles around his eyes. There was no way he wanted her to see him like this.
A quick shave, fresh shirt. He stopped and sniffed his underarm…a shower would be the first order of business. He thought about when the last time he had showered and shaved. Raking his hand over the full beard he decided to stop at the barber on the way. Neither Vera nor his girls had said one word about his disheveled appearance up to that point.
Fifteen minutes later, Nathan was dressed as if he were ready to teach a lecture. He really had to go shopping since his best shirts were the university polos. He put on his slippah, bitter still that he had to pay full price for a pair of shoes that he could never wear the left one of again. Well, maybe in the future, when he got a prosthetic that looked like flesh. He attached the adhesive band of the special made slippah that had no toe thong to the top of his prosthetic foot. It at least looked somewhat normal.
Nathan was becoming proficient on his new prosthetic leg, managing a relatively smooth gait. It was the metal one while he waited for his custom fit model, but if he wore trousers, no one would be the wiser. It was a deceptive lie, but it helped him cope for the moment. He was adjusting in small steps.
Joe’s barbershop was on the corner, a block before the apartment complex where Kini lived. Nate had committed everything she had shared to memory, even though at the time, he was embarrassed to do more than the grueling physical therapy sessions. He pushed the door open to Joe’s shop.
“Hey, Nate, been a while. Have a seat there, I’m almost finished with Mr. Chen.” Joe was a distant cousin. It seemed nearly everyone on this island was related somehow.
When he realized how many relatives he had here, he questioned Vera if there were any connections from her family to his. It had turned around on him quickly though, she became the Fifth Inquisition with her rapid-fire questions to him, but she let it slip that Kini had inquired about him. It had given him a sliver of hope.
“All right then, chair’s open. What are we doing today?” Joe ran his fingers through his shoulder-length hair assuming that was the main thing he wanted.
“Full shave and a trim. I kind of like the longer look, and the University doesn’t object. I don’t want it to get much longer, but…just a trim for now.”
Joe went to work with the clippers, trimming off the bulk of his beard as the two men talked about the weather, the surf, and the string of crimes that had been in the news.
When he had finished, Nate looked at least five years younger. He had ignored most everything, even the beard in his state of depression. Clean-shaven once again, it was an outward sign of the steps he was taking to remove the inward fog. The fresh haircut didn’t hurt either.
Nate paid Joe then headed to Kini’s apartment. With every step, he was alternately trying to build up his courage, or talk himself down from turning tail and going back home. It was never this hard when he started dating Tonya. But then again, years later he found out she’d been two-timing him with Tom since they’d begun dating.
He hated to admit it because he was never one to take divorce lightly, but he was glad she was out of his life. Not only after finding out about Tom, but her negativity was hard to take. He was glad to have Jalyn and Jasmine back with him, and thankful, at least for that part, of their relationship.
Deep in thought about his daughters, he found himself at Kini’s apartment door. He held up his hand to knock, freezing.
What if she didn’t want to see him? What if she was dating someone else? What if she thought this was an intrusion?
The door opened, and Kini walked right into him.
“Oomph!” Kini had been talking to someone with her head turned away from Nate. She spun around facing a solid wall of chest. Stepping back a half-step, she looked up. “Nate! So good to see you. What are you doing here?”
“I never did pay you back for that lunch at the food truck ,and well, thought I would see if you wanted to head down to the beach and get something…on me.” He offered a weak smile.
“Oh! Um, well I was just about to go to the surf shop with Raul.”
A Polynesian man with tattoos on both arms and the side of his neck stepped into view, just behind Kini. He recognized some of the tribal markings as the same as a few of his students.
He was too late. Of course, a beautiful woman such as Kini would have a guy already. Nate mentally kicked himself. He nodded to the guy. He wasn’t about to shake his hand and congratulate him for beating him to the punch. “OK. Well, if you would like to sometime, just give me a call.”
He turned to go home, anxious to get there and sulk in private.
“Actually, I’m free tonight if you want to make it dinner.” She put her hand on his shoulder before he got out of reach.
Nate’s eyes darted back and forth between her and the tatted guy. He wasn’t in any shape to fight this guy even though he was shorter and kind of wiry. He didn’t really know what to say back to her.
“Raul, this is Nate Fletcher, molecular science and bio-medics professor at HU.” Kini stepped to the side a bit.
Raul shot his hand out to shake his. “Nice to meet you, sir. I’ll be taking classes this fall.”
The guy had a firm grip, that was something. “Maybe I’ll see you in my class sometime.”
“Raul is my cousin. He lives on Kauai, but he’s staying with me for a week, so he can tour the campus and attend freshman orientation. Hey, why don’t you go to the surf shop with us?”
Cousin? Nate’s eyes flickered between Raul and Kini.
Cousin?!
“Sure.”
They rode the elevator down to the ground level where Kini’s car was parked. She motioned for Raul to get in the backseat so Nate could ride up front.
“Have you been surfing?” It was innocent enough, Kini had no way of knowing that he was still dealing with PTSD.
“No. Not yet.” He sighed, feeling like a failure when he wanted to impress her. “Kai keeps trying to get me back out there. He offered to take me out in his boat this weekend.”
“Want some company?” Kini turned down a side street, cutting across a couple of blocks to the back lot of Stan’s Surf Shop.
Maybe his luck was changing!
“Yes!” He answered before thinking it through. Just as soon as he said it aloud, he began worrying that he’d embarrass himself.
“Uh, just so you know, this will be the first time back out on the water. Trying to work through my fears.” He shrugged, feeling deflated.
“Hey, I think you’ve already made amazing improvements. It’s a process. When you were seeing me as your therapist, you were defeated. I worried about you.”
She pulled into a spot against the back wall. “Stan’s got a big sale going on, end of summer inventory blow-out. Thought I’d get a new board, maybe a new suit.” She waited at the end of the car for him to make his way around to her.
“I’ma go ahead on in,” Raul tossed over his shoulder as he made a beeline for the door.
Kini chuckled. “My graduation present to him. I told him I’d buy him any surfboard he wanted if he finished school and graduated. Last fall he was hanging out with a gang, skipping school, even got arrested a couple of times for misdemeanors. I guess the board was a good incentive.”
“You know what’s funny? My mom gave that incentive to me as well. I was in trouble in my junior year of high school. She chewed me out good, then told me that if I thought I could get my shit together, she’d buy me the best surfboard she could afford, and we would go to Hawaii after I graduated.”
“That’s awesome! So, what board do you ride?”
“A Blackbird seven-foot longboard. Of course, it has a big chunk bit out of it, so I guess I need to get a new one. Can’t get rid of it, though, my mom got me that board.”
“Not too many haoles can relate to that kind of incentive.”
“Yeah, my buddies gave me all sorts of grief.”
He opened the door for Kini so she could go in first. The excitement of that first board hit him as he saw the back wall lined with boards. He nodded to himself.
The tide was about to turn for Nate Fletcher.