Chapter 29
Enough
Working at the grocery story was a cakewalk compared to keeping house at Patras. All Scout had to do was smile and scan items then place them into bags. There were even lulls when she was simply required to stand by her register until the next customer arrived.
The register was a little tricky at first, but she got the hang of it. When she didn’t know how to do something, Nick, the guy working the next register, was more than eager to explain. Nick was nineteen and funny.
Mr. Gerhard made several appearances throughout the day. At one point he stood behind her, uncomfortably close, breathing his spearmint coffee breath over her shoulder as he explained how to refill her receipt roll. She only survived because Nick drew a mustache on his finger and mimicked their manager when he wasn’t looking. It was almost impossible not to laugh.
All in all, she liked her new job. When she finished for the day, she felt a sense of promise. She could do this.
She returned to the apartment hours before Parker would get home. They were going out that night to celebrate and, shockingly, she actually felt like she had something to commemorate. She was moving on.
Scout showered and dressed in jeans and a loose gray sweater that hung to her lower thighs. The elevator chimed softly just as she finished with her hair. Frowning, she glanced at the clock. It was only five.
Her heart suddenly raced as her ears focused on the sound in the hall. Shadows of feet showed under the door and the knob slowly turned. Parker stepped in and she exhaled. She had no idea who she was expecting, but she was relieved it was only Parker. Something in the past hour had set her on edge. She was oddly anxious.
“Hey,” she greeted. He looked so different in his suit.
“Hey. You ready for tonight?”
She actually was. “Yup. Where are we going?”
He smiled and removed his jacket, draping it over the back of a kitchen chair. “I got tickets for a show.”
Her lungs filled with excitement. “What kind of show?” She’d never been to a show. Well, that wasn’t true. Once Lucian took her to a burlesque show. She flushed and shook off the memory. No thinking about him tonight. She was determined to have fun.
“It’s a surprise. It starts in an hour so I figured I’d make something quick to eat before we go.”
They ate sandwiches and guzzled down some juice. Parker locked the apartment, and then they were whisked off in a cab to the show!
The cab deposited them outside of Folsom’s stadium. She’d never been this close to the enormous structure before. Vendors sold shirts as ticket holders bustled by. A man scalping tickets distracted her, but Parker kept his hand on her back and guided her to the doors.
It was loud once they made it inside. The floor was a wide, cement ramp. People shuffled slowly to the top and everything smelled of popcorn. Her excitement had become almost impossible to contain.
A man in a striped staff shirt searched her bag and took Parker’s tickets. They were sitting in row fourteen, section D, seats nine and ten. The seating made absolutely no sense to her and even less sense once they entered the main area.
Thousands of chairs formed an enormous bowl. It was a modern day coliseum. In the center stood a dark stage. Long cords hung from poles and there was no ceiling to speak of. A blanket of stars glittered back at them as Parker found their seats.
The chairs were theater style, the kind that flipped forward and snapped back the moment one stood. She took her seat and smiled. “This is so cool.”
Parker laughed. “It hasn’t even started yet.”
“I know, but look at this place. It’s incredible.”
He patted her knee and grinned. They sat, listening to the roar of voices surrounding them, and Scout watched the various faces of people going by.
“Do you want something to drink?” Parker half shouted.
“Sure.” She reached in her bag for a few dollars and he stilled her.
Shaking his head, he said, “Let me treat you.”
She reluctantly withdrew her hand and nodded. Parker left to find them drinks and she continued to stare in awe at the stadium. People slid into the seats in front of her and she saw they held a pamphlet. The words she saw made no sense no matter how she tried to sound them out. She was too excited to think.
“The lines are insane here,” Parker said as he returned to his seat. He held two cups of something golden and topped with foam. “I got you a beer. Is that okay?”
She’d never had beer. Lucian had always given her wine. “Sure. Thanks.”
The beer had a very heady scent. The taste was much stronger than wine, more robust and grainy. She wasn’t sure if she liked it, but she continued to sip it anyway. The lights flickered and dimmed. Her heart pumped as she settled into her seat.
The dark stage reflected silver shades of blue and soft chirping came from every direction. Scout turned her head, trying to find the birds, but saw none. Then music filtered over the gentle twittering. It was coming from speakers.
Her gaze returned to the vacant stage just as a dark shadow of a man came into view. The audience seemed to hold their breath as the man took center stage. Would he sing? Dance?
Scout jumped when he suddenly shouted something, too excited to make out the words. Then the stage careened to life. Men and women in bodysuits flipped onto the stage from every direction. Flames flashed and a ring of fire formed. She couldn’t peel her gaze away, so she leaned into Parker. “Is this the circus?”
“Cirque du Soleil,” he whispered. “The circus of the sun.”
The circus! He’d brought her to a circus. Would there be acrobats? Clowns? Animals? Her gaze darted to the sky, and suddenly all the dark ropes and cords made sense. The tightrope.
She was breathless. Her body scooted to the edge of her seat as she stared unblinking at the performance in the distance. Drums rattled and the volume of the music below climbed to an intensity that vibrated in her bones. With a loud thump, the dancers fell to the stage, and everything went dark and silent.
The audience exploded with applause. Scout couldn’t clap any more enthusiastically. Parker smiled at her as she applauded vigorously. She hadn’t stopped smiling since they arrived.
A feminine voice echoed and the audience quelled. A woman dressed in a medieval red gown took the stage. She sang in a different language, and her voice was incredible.
A sultry sound kicked in and the woman sang to the music. The beat picked up, and Scout gasped when the wall behind the stage was illuminated and hundreds of young ballerinas joined her. They paraded from one end of the stage to the other, performing beautifully.
When the tiny dancers left the stage, a glass tub was left in their wake. Scout knew it was much larger than it appeared, but from their seats it showed a tiny fishbowl with two fish swimming inside. When a woman, not a fish, swam to the edge of the tank, Scout’s mouth dropped open. People. They looked like fish.
Another woman climbed out of the glass tank. They didn’t dance, yet they performed in long stretches. They were contortionists. Their bodies folded in ways that shouldn’t be possible. It was amazing to watch, so much so that Scout was afraid to blink.
There was something almost sexual about the way they performed. The rhythmic music was as hypnotic as their motions. The entire audience had been cast under a spell.
She glanced at Parker. He was as entranced as the rest of them. Every act was followed by a more impressive one. There wasn’t a dull moment.
When the acrobats began to climb, the stage broke apart and rose higher and higher as dancers twirled like fireflies from impossible heights under the starry night. Scarves became wings, and bodies transcended like kites with long flowing tails. But that was not what impressed her most.
What made the show for Scout was the second-to-last act. A trapeze artist, a woman, broke away from the group of dancers and raced up a rope ladder that disappeared somewhere just before heaven. She reached a platform and performed pirouettes, reminding Scout of a jewelry box she once saw in a storefront window as a child, with a tiny spinning dancer on a spring.
Every face in the audience angled upward as if waiting for the rain to fall. The woman pointed her toe and suddenly stepped off the platform onto a rope.
Scout’s breath came fast. She licked her lips, her own anxiety nearly unbearable as the performer took her first step. A net sat somewhere, a hundred miles below. It didn’t matter. She was crossing the rope without harnesses or ties. It was sheer balance and determination that kept her poised there on the thin rope strung from heaven.
Her heart raced and suddenly Scout’s eyes closed. She wasn’t at the Circus of the Sun, but beneath the sun, her head resting on Lucian’s lap as he told her of the impressive show he’d seen as a boy. She blinked and again watched the tightrope walker. He was right. It was the most impressive thing she’d ever seen.
He should be there with her, but he wasn’t. She glanced to her right and studied Parker’s profile. This was where her path had taken her. This was where she was. There were no safety nets in life or love, only spectators and the incredibly brave performers. She’d always longed to be a part of the show, never content with looking from the outside in.
Parker had found a way to break out of the mold and join the rest of them. It was time she did the same. He was her last ally.
Her hand slid to his thigh and he turned, first staring at her upturned palm and then setting his questioning gaze on her. She smiled and his expression slowly matched hers. This was where she was, and she wasn’t going back. His hand slid into hers and he squeezed.
They held on to each other until the performers concluded the show, only letting go to applaud. The noise returned as the lights came on and he reclaimed her hand as they found their way back down the ramp and into the crowded parking lot.
The pavement was congested and noisy. Parker hailed a cab and told the driver the address to the apartment. A sort of calm settled over her as they drove. It occurred to her that she was okay with her decision to move on and let the past stay in the past. It was the healthiest choice she could make, being she wasn’t given many choices regarding her circumstances.
There had been enough tears, enough dreamless nights, and sleep-ridden days. It was time to break away from the woman she’d become and figure out who she was meant to be.
“Did you enjoy it?” Parker asked softly as they neared the apartment.
Her face split with a genuine smile. “Very much. Thank you so much for taking me.”
He seemed content with her answer and nodded, turning back to face the front.
When they pulled up at the apartment, Parker paid the driver and held the door for her. His hand slipped into hers as they took the elevator in silence. Scout didn’t know what was going to happen once they made it inside, but she was done fearing the future so she could hold on to a meaningless past.
The amount of days no longer mattered. Fourteen, twenty, thirty days, he was never coming back. The pain would likely always be there, but tonight, for those brief, magical moments, she’d forgotten her hurt. Parker had given her that gift.
Parker unlocked the door and switched on the light. She placed her bag on the couch. Would he sleep there tonight?
Hands gently turned her shoulders. Parker’s expression was unreadable. He stepped close and lifted her hair, carefully placing it behind her shoulder. Her breath stilled in her lungs as his eyes met hers.
He blinked. There were no words, but the question was there. Lowering his head, he slowly pressed his lips to hers. She stopped drawing comparisons and took it for what it was. Nice.
Her mouth slowly opened and his arms pulled her closer. Her body rejoiced at the feel of another’s touch, no matter how much her mind objected. It was only because it was different, she told herself.
They kissed for several long minutes. Scout’s body engaged and disengaged on and off. She was never able to fully lose herself in the moment, and that frustrated her.
Taking his hand, she backed into the bedroom. He eyed her curiously. She didn’t want to sleep with him—couldn’t—but it was silly to make him stay on the couch. “We can share the bed,” she told him quietly. “But . . .”
He shook his head. “I’m not asking for more than you want to give, Scout.”
Thank God, because she was still trying to process the fact that she and Parker were kissing. She couldn’t handle anything more. She only wanted the relief he’d given her from her recent misery to continue. She’d figure it out later.
They took turns using the bathroom. Parker changed into a pair of sweats while she carried a large T-shirt to the bathroom and changed there. It hung past her knees and covered all her important parts. It was the least inviting thing she owned that she could sleep in.
She crawled into bed and he did the same. He leaned up to shut the light, and the mattress dipped. Her breathing echoed in her ears as she waited. Would they sleep? Would he try to kiss her again? She wasn’t sure what she wanted.
The mattress whined as he turned on his side. “Come here,” he said as he pulled her close. Her heart raced. The dark complicated things. This was Parker. Needing to remind herself of that, she went to him, her hand mapping out his shoulders, feeling the difference.
His mouth pressed into hers and there was suddenly a loud bang. She stilled. Frowning, she drew back. The pounding sounded again.
Parker’s frown showed in a slice of moonlight pouring through the drapes. “What the—”
“Evelyn!”
Scout jerked back. Everything stopped, her lungs, her heart, the rotation of the earth. She held her breath, and then she heard it again. More pounding.
“Evelyn, open the door!”
Breath burst out of her as a million shards of her broken soul reacted to that voice. Parker cursed as she scrambled out of the bed. She ran to the hall and suddenly came up short. She glared at the hand holding her back. The pounding continued. He was going to break down the door. Parker turned her and pulled her back into the dark bedroom.
“Scout, listen to me.” His eyes were frantic. “Stay here. I’ll get the door, but just, please, stay here.”
“Parker, let me go. It’s Lucian. What if something’s wrong?”
His grip on her arms tightened. “Please.” He shook his head rapidly. “Let me make sure everything’s all right before you do anything.”
Her lips pursed beneath her tight brow. She couldn’t catch her breath. What was he talking about? Lucian was here for her. Parker wouldn’t let go of her until she gave him her word. She huffed. “Fine, but hurry, before he leaves.”
He placed a brief kiss on her cheek and left, shutting the bedroom door behind him. She brushed away his kiss and pressed her face to the cool wood of the door. Her heart was erratic. She dug her fingers into the wood of the door, forcing herself to stay put.
“Evelyn!”
The locks clicked and as soon as they turned she heard the front door pull wide. “What the hell are you doing here?” Parker asked coldly.
Lucian’s voice grew closer. “Get out of my way. Where is she? Evelyn!”
She cracked the door. Should she go to him? What did this mean? What about Paris?
“You have to leave,” Parker snapped. “You aren’t allowed to contact her for another two weeks. We had a deal.”
She frowned. What was he talking about? He was going to ruin everything.
“Fuck the deal!” Lucian snapped. “Evelyn—”
“I’m here,” she said, stepping into the hall. His eyes met hers and he breathed heavily. He looked like absolute shit. Her world spun. “What are you doing here, Lucian?”
His gaze lowered, traveling over her loose T-shirt, down her legs all the way to her bare feet. His jaw ticked as his face darkened. “Motherfucker,” he hissed, then he turned. Everything happened so fast.
Lucian’s arm cocked back. There was a crack, and the lamp crashed to the floor as Parker’s body fell into the table. She screamed and jumped into motion.
“You son of a bitch!” Lucian growled, cocking his arm back to hit Parker again.
She tackled him. “Lucian, no!”
Parker scrambled to his feet. “Get the fuck out of my home!”
She held Lucian back, knowing it was her presence more than her strength that kept him from lunging for Parker again. He was seething. “You fucking touched her?”
“She doesn’t belong to you!” Parker snapped, wiping his lip where it had split wide.
“The fuck she doesn’t,” Lucian growled.
Wait, what?
Scout looked around for help that wasn’t there. She wasn’t strong enough to hold Lucian back if he lost it on Parker again. She panicked. In a shrill, unrecognizable voice, she suddenly screamed, “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on!”
They both glared at each other. Breath stuttered from their chests as they faced off. Finally, Parker growled at Lucian, “I still have thirteen days left.”
She shook her head. Turning to Lucian, she asked, “What’s he talking about, Lucian?”
His dark eyes darted to hers as his nostrils flared. Slowly, he turned to Parker and arched a brow. “You didn’t tell her.”
“Tell me what?”
“Scout . . .”
She turned to Parker, very much disliking the contrite expression twisting his face. She waited.
“Go ahead, Hughes, tell her. Tell her what a stand-up guy you are, always looking out for her best interests.”
She glared at both of them, waiting for someone to explain. “Parker?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He swallowed. “I was only trying to protect you.”
Lucian’s dry laugh drew her attention. He straightened, but said nothing. She turned back to Parker. “Protect me from what?”
“From him,” Parker growled.
She blinked, waiting for more, but it didn’t come. She turned to Lucian. “Why?”
Lucian’s face softened. His dark eyes blinked down at her, and she recognized the affection in his gaze, wanted so badly to drown in it. “Because he thinks he’s better for you,” he whispered in an almost sympathetic voice.
Her head shook. She scoffed. “What about what I think?” This was absurd. “Does anyone give a shit about what I think is best for me? Someone better start explaining what’s going on, fast.” When no one said anything, she stomped her foot and snapped, “Say something!”
“We had a deal.” Parker quietly admitted. She pivoted, not liking the sound of that, and waited expectantly for him to continue. He wouldn’t look at her, and something utterly terrifying clamped down on her battered heart. “Last winter, we made a deal. Lucian agreed to break up with you for a month so that I could try to get you to . . . care for me, the way you do about him.”
Words stopped computing in her head. She shook, not accepting his explanation. “What?”
“I only wanted a chance to prove to you that I was the better man.”
“So you’re saying he gave me to you? No. He wouldn’t do that.” She turned to Lucian, waiting for him to call Parker a liar, but came up short when she saw the regret clear on his face. “What is this? Is this how you do it, like what you did with Slade and Monique?”
She couldn’t wrap her brain around what she was hearing.
Lucian swallowed tightly. “I never wanted to agree to—”
“You’re saying it’s true then?” Her spine stiffened and her shoulders drew back. “You broke up with me so another man could try to fuck me?”
“Scout—”
“Oh, shut up, Parker. I’ll deal with you in a minute.” She turned her scowl on Lucian. “Lucian, tell me that’s not true. Please.”
“It was freezing. I couldn’t find you. Hughes knew where you were and I was desperate. He wouldn’t help me unless I promised him something in return.”
Her mind tripped over visions and scenarios that were far too bizarre to believe. This had to be some sort of a misunderstanding. “Whose idea was it?”
Lucian’s lips formed a thin line. She turned to Parker and had her answer. “You said you were my friend.”
Lucian grunted.
She turned on him. “And you said you loved me. What kind of man does something like that to the woman he loves?”
She found herself backing away from the two of them. They were despicable, the both of them. “Is that all I ever was to you? A bargaining chip to pass around when money didn’t work?”
“God, no, Evelyn—”
“Then explain it to me in words I can understand!”
“I just wanted to find you,” Lucian said, pleadingly. “It was just before I found you at the tracks in the blizzard. You would have frozen out there. Pearl would have died. I swear to God my only intention was getting you home.”
“So you could eventually give me away?”
“I never would have agreed to his conditions if I wasn’t desperate.”
“What exactly were your conditions, Parker? I’d like to know what price my friend puts on my survival.”
Parker’s face twisted with a multitude of emotion. “You weren’t supposed to find out this way. We should still have two weeks together.”
“You tricked me.” Her fingers went to her lips. “All of this was to get me to go to bed with you.”
Lucian stiffened and Parker’s head jerked up. His green eyes pleaded as his head shook in denial. “No, I just wanted to show you what it was like to be loved.”
“I was loved! At least I thought I was. Now I don’t know anything!”
“Evelyn, get dressed. I’m taking you home.”
Lucian reached for her, and she snatched her arm back. “Don’t touch me.” Tears rushed to her eyes. “How could you do this to me? To us? To everything we had?” Her chest tightened and she fought to get the words out. “I loved you.”
All the blood rushed from Lucian’s face. He stepped forward, but she stepped out of his reach. “Evelyn, please, come home with me and I’ll fix everything.”
She wiped her eyes and stared at their surroundings. “I don’t have a home.”
“Yes, you do, with me. Please, baby. I’ve been miserable since you left. I love you. We can fix this—”
“I’m not going anywhere with you. There is no fixing this. The two of you are perverted.”
She glanced at Parker, but he wouldn’t look at her. “And you, pretending you live by some code of honor. Your moral compass must have been broken that day.” Turning back to Lucian, she analyzed her path of escape. She needed pants.
She spun on her heel and went to the room where her clothes were already put away in drawers. Yanking down her bag from the closet, she tossed it on the bed and began filling it with whatever she could find. When she found jeans, she slid them onto her legs. Her limbs convulsed with uncontainable emotion.
Both men crammed in the bedroom doorway, staring at her as she laced up her sneakers.
“Stay here, Scout, I’ll go,” Parker said quietly.
She stilled. “No.”
“Where will you go?” he asked.
She didn’t know. She wouldn’t go back to her apartment. She’d go where no one could find her.
“Evelyn, come to the hotel. I’ll give you a separate room. You can’t just walk away like this.”
She knotted her laces and stood. Her bag zipped with an obnoxious final zing. She turned and they backed up.
Parker stood aside, but Lucian blocked her exit like an immovable oak. “Get out of my way.”
“No,” he rasped. “I can’t let you go. I can’t lose you again.”
Shaking her head, she looked up at him, tears running down her face. “You already lost me.”
When he didn’t budge, she said, “Please, move.”
He was an anchor. She tried to shove past him and his strong hands caught her arms.
“Don’t touch her!” Parker snapped, closing in on him.
Lucian turned and snarled, “You stay out of this.” Turning back to her, he pleaded. “I can’t let you leave.”
Wasn’t this a pretty picture? Lucian, the king, backed into the corner as the black knight stood poised and ready to attack from the left. She was prepared to do anything to knock them down.
The queen has more power than any other piece. She is the most coveted player of the game and can move any way she pleases.
Swallowing hard, she looked up at the man she had stupidly trusted with her heart and said the only word she hoped would get through to him.
“Checkmate.”
His eyes closed and his face crumbled. Social intercourse. It was all a game. He’d taught her how to play, by rules she never chose, and he lost. He stepped aside.
She crossed the threshold and swung the front door wide.
“Scout!”
Lucian held Parker back. She never expected to lose him twice. She was free now. She finally understood she’d been manipulated, and while she was still standing, she was barely breathing. All her questions suddenly had answers, and she realized her unwanted ignorance had actually been a blessing in light of her reality. She’d lost the only two people she could ever count on.
As she stepped into the elevator, she turned and faced them. What a haggard pair they made. Good. As bad as they looked on the outside, she was a hundred times worse on the inside.
Lucian’s dark, onyx eyes met hers. Those were the eyes that could make grown men crumble, with enough determination to dominate a city the size of Folsom. He set those eyes on her, his mouth a hard line, drawn with challenge. “You get a five-minute head start, Evelyn, while I settle some things with your friend here. And then I’m coming for you. I’m done playing games.”
Not her friend. She had no friends.
The doors to the elevator closed, and her legs quaked with understanding. He thought she wouldn’t get far. He thought he would come for her and nothing would stop him. But he was wrong. Lucian owned the heavens of Folsom, but he underestimated the depth of its hell. Scout was a master of hiding. She’d disappear before he made it to the street. She had to move fast, because once he found her, there was no telling what would happen.
The elevator opened again and like a queen conscious of the treachery that poisoned her court, in high dudgeon she walked on.