If I thought the drive out to Cruz’s house would lessen the situation in my pants, I was sorely mistaken. Having gotten my first taste of Sabrina, and a hint of all the passion that she continues to deny herself, I’m half blind with need. I imagined that she’d feel amazing in my arms, but I never dreamed she would melt so easily with one touch, one kiss, one promise of how good we could be together.
Hot doesn’t begin describe her as she relaxed into the moment and took control, kissing me as thoroughly as I always imagined she might. Damn, that woman gets to me on every level: emotional, physical, primal, hell … even spiritual. I sure as hell had to call on what little faith I practice to keep from tossing her down on the desk and having my way with her. Knowing she was just as heated as I was only made it more difficult to walk away. And I have a hunch I’ll be doing a lot of walking away in the next few months while I give her the time she needs to get used to me.
More than a decade of celibacy. Who does that? Granted, I fully realize I’m a guy and most men have this rather skewed view on what is and is not considered the right amount of sex they should be having. The me from a few years ago needed it on an almost daily basis. The me now, even prior to meeting Sabrina, has a more mature version of what I can and cannot live with, or rather without. Regardless, there’s no way in Hell I could have gone so long without a warm body next to mine. Sure, I’m not a parent so I have no idea how raising a child can interfere with one’s own needs, but since getting a taste of the woman underneath the mom, I’ll wager that Sabrina has never allowed herself to fully explore her sexuality. Damn … I can’t wait to help her do that.
Adjusting myself and grumbling a curse, I pull into Cruz’s driveway. Showing up unannounced on a Saturday afternoon isn’t something I’d normally do, but calling ahead to ask permission isn’t something I’d do either—especially since the man holds my future, mine and Sabrina’s actually, in his hands. Pleading my case will bring me to a new low, that’s for sure, but I’m not about to let what’s going on between her and I affect her job negatively. If coming out here and begging my brother to have a heart is what I have to do, I’m all in.
Mia greets me with a hug, pulling me by the hand into the spacious house, and leads me into the kitchen. “Cruz is just finishing his workout. He’ll be out in a sec.”
The state-of-the-art home gym that sits at the end of the hallway has always been something I’ve envied. The house itself? Not my style. It’s too big and too cold, though once Mia moved in the level of warmth did increase. It’s the type of house you look at and say, “Wow, they must be loaded.” Since Cruz is, it makes sense that he lives in a space like this.
“No problem.” I take the beer she offers and stroll over to the tall windows that look out onto a large deck and the dock beyond. I’ve been here more times than I can count, but I still feel like a visitor, not someone who can kick off my shoes and prop my feet up on the coffee table. I suppose that could be because Cruz and I have always maintained a slight distance from one another in that regard. I trust him implicitly and rely on his opinion on most things. Of course we’re brothers and we share a whole lot of brotherly love, but he’s not the person I turn to when I need to confide in someone; it’s not like him and Marco. I save my confessions for Bella.
Mia moves up next to me and loops her arms through mine. “You okay? You seem bothered by something.”
I offer her a shrug. “Just a lot on my mind, that’s all. How are you?”
She grins wide, lighting up her beautiful face and dark, almond-shaped eyes with happiness. “I’m really good.” The way she’s looking at me hints that she has more to say, but she remains mum.
Footsteps behind us cause her to move away and a dark thread of uneasiness scurries up my spine. Turning, I come face to face with my imposing older brother. Taller and larger than me in every way, he looms over me, blue-green eyes shooting me a curious look. “Hey, little brother. What brings you out here today?”
“Yeah, sorry to show up unannounced, but I need to speak with you.”
He gestures to the couch, and we take a seat, Mia included. “What’s on your mind?”
Disregarding the nervousness I feel, I set the beer aside and lean over, propping my elbows up on my knees. “I need to talk with you about Sabrina. Me and Sabrina actually.”
Cruz isn’t the overreacting type, so he barely blinks at my statement. “All right. What about you and Sabrina?”
“I invited her out with us on the boat next week. She and her daughter Emerson.”
Mia smirks. “I heard that her daughter has been helping you out at the office.”
Cruz’s jaw ticks, and he darts a look at his wife. “You did? How come this is the first I’m hearing about it?”
She shrugs, no longer at all intimidated by her husband. “You have more important things to worry about.”
His eyes warm and he pulls her into an embrace, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “Yes I do, querida.”
There’s a whole lot going on between the two of them that they’re not willing to say, at least if the intense looks back and forth are any indication. No disrespect meant to either of them, but we’re getting seriously off track here. “Yeah, so Sabrina and I are seeing one another.”
My brother glares at me. “We talked about this already …” As if that’s supposed to make me heel and obey.
“No, you talked about it. I chose to ignore you.” Blowing out a heavy breath, I shoot Mia an apologetic look. “Look, man, I get that you have this office policy in place. But what you don’t understand is that I’ve wanted this woman for years now. Years. This is not a fling. She’s not some chick I’m gonna fuck and walk away from.” Flinching, I murmur, “Sorry, Mia.”
She takes it all in stride and shrugs. “Don’t sensor yourself on my account. Please continue.”
“We’ve been spending a lot of time together, just getting to know one another.” I refrain from telling him we’ve been doing that on office time. No need to bury myself further before I’m done explaining. “I started helping Emmy with homework and when she went on summer break, I brought her in to help me so that she wouldn’t be sitting at home all alone during the day.” I hold up a hand just as he starts to speak. “And before you ask, I instructed Marco to deduct what she’s being paid from my paycheck.” All other employees of the firm are paid through the payroll department, but the three of us, and now Mia, are all paid separately and confidentially through accounts Marco has set up for us. “She’s been a huge help to me. The kid is super smart and organized, just like her mom. I wish I could hire her year-round.”
I pause to take a gulp of my beer and test the temperature of the room. Mia glances between the two of us, gently patting her husband’s knee and occasionally offering me an encouraging smile. Cruz, on the other hand, remains stoic, glaring out the window and ignoring both of us.
In the past I’ve played it relatively close to the vest with my brother. Sharing confidences is something he’s never been particularly good at either, so I shied away from telling him my deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings. But I consider how he’s changed since meeting and falling in love with Mia, and how he’s let go of some of the ghosts from his past. He a different man now than the one he was a few years ago; someone with a clear understanding of how real love can change your entire life and your entire way of thinking.
With that thought in mind, I say softly, “She’s different, Cruz. She’s not like the other chicks I’ve dated. She’s special.”
He finally looks right at me, growling, “Don’t you dare say you’re falling in love with her. You don’t know the first thing about it.”
Mia’s eyes widen as she watches my reaction, but she wisely remains silent. The need to yell or scream hits hard, but I’m not about to feed into his expectations. I fully understand that I’m a love ’em and leave ’em type of guy, but this outright distrust he has toward me is nothing at all like what I’ve experienced in the past.
“Maybe not. Maybe I have no clue what real love feels like. But I do understand what I feel for her. What I have felt since the moment I first laid eyes on her. I’ve felt it even though I’ve gone through the motions and kept up my dating habits. I’ve felt it even though she’s done nothing to lead me on or give me any reason to believe we’d ever be anything more than just coworkers and friends.” Tearing my hands through my hair, I force my eyes to his. “When I look at her I see a future. I see someone I want to wake up next to every day. Someone I can’t spend enough time with. I see a woman who will continue to keep me guessing for years to come. Someone who will challenge me in every single way.”
Mia lets out a muted “aww,” but her husband is less than convinced. “And the child?”
“She’s not a child. She’s fifteen.”
He shakes his head dismissively. “You believe you’d be good father material? This from the man who hasn’t ever been able to commit to more than a few weeks with any one person.”
Hurt spirals in the center of my chest. “Sure, I have a shitty track record, but you did too, or have you forgotten?” While I know nothing about his personal life prior to meeting Mia, I do know that he’s had a reputation for being a coldhearted son of a bitch, treating everyone as if they’re nothing more than an annoyance. “Jesus, man, people do change. You have so why should I be any different?” Rising, I tip back the beer and drain it fully. “When the fuck did you become so damn judgmental and self-righteous?”
The iciness I’ve grown used to over the years slowly starts to fade and moments later before me stands a man with a deeply concerned and troubled expression. “Christ, Roman, I don’t want you to get hurt. Can’t you see that? If she is indeed the only woman you’ve ever really loved, then if you’re anything like me you’re invested, body and soul.” I nod in agreement. “And what about the girl? You’ve developed a relationship with her, but are you willing to be her stepfather and take on the responsibility of a child full time?”
“I have no idea. I sure hope so, but at the rate this is moving she’ll be off to college before I even need to be concerned with it.”
Mia grins. “She’s playing hard to get, is she?”
“Nah, not really. Just … hesitant. Very hesitant. And worried that she’s going to lose her job by dating me.”
Cruz frowns. “She’s not going to lose her job. Jesus … am I really that bad?” Mia and I both instantly respond with a loud, resounding yes. He chuckles and wanders into the kitchen, returning with more beers for him and me and a glass of juice for his wife. Once we’ve all settled back down on the couch, he asks, “So you asked her to come next weekend?”
“Yes I did. Emmy too.”
“Is she aware we’ll all be there, the entire family?”
I shrug. “I think so. But I’ll make sure to give her the rundown before we get there.”
“Mama is gonna love this,” he replies with a smile. “I expect you and Sabrina to keep things professional at work.”
With a chuckle, I remark, “Oh, you mean like you and Mia do, disappearing into your office for hours on end.”
Her face flames bright red, reminding me of a certain other beautiful woman, but Cruz is quick to counter. “My company. My rules. And apologize to Mia.”
Annoying as it is, I gotta say that I admire how protective he is of his woman. “I’m sorry, sweetness. Didn’t mean to offend.”
Mia laughs. “Sure you did.”
Finishing off the beer, I drop both empties off in the kitchen and murmur, “Yes, of course we’ll keep things professional.” I’m not about to tell either of them that only a short while ago she was rubbing against my cock and kissing me as if her life depended on it … in her office. “I’m outta here. Thanks for everything.”
I share a hug with Mia while Cruz walks me to the door and before I can step out, he pulls me in close, whispering, “I love ya, baby brother. Don’t ever forget that.”
Shoving down the shock at hearing him express affection toward me, I guy-slap him on the back and reply, “Yeah, man, I won’t. I love ya too.”
The phone rings just as I’m pulling out of the driveway, Marco’s name lighting up the screen. “Hey.”
“Amita and I are having cocktails. Want to join?”
Not really, but I also don’t want to go back to my apartment and fixate on how much I want to be with Sabrina. “Yeah, I’m just leaving Cruz’s. Be there soon.” He rattles off the name of this place we like to go by the beach and a short while later, I’m strolling into the bar and settling in at their table overlooking the beach.
“Whatcha doin’ out in Biscayne?” Marco asks, looping his arm around Amita’s shoulders.
“Had to talk with Cruz about Sabrina.”
They exchange a glance with one another. Then my brother asks, “What’s up with you two anyway?”
“I invited her and her daughter to join us on the boat next weekend.”
“That’s huge,” Amita murmurs, sipping her mojito.
Nodding, I order something to drink and sit back with my hands across my stomach. “Cruz flipped at first, but we talked and he’s … given his blessing, I guess.”
Marco’s brows shoot up. “You guess?”
Shrugging, I glance out at the water. “Well, you know Cruz. He heard me out … then he told me to act professional at the office.”
Marco howls with laughter. “Yeah, like he and Mia behave professionally.” Amita hits him across the chest playfully. “What? It’s the truth. Those two spend so much time fucking on office time that I sometimes wonder if they even own a bed at home.”
Shaking my head, I chuckle. “Crude, man. Really crude.”
“Yeah, but you know I’m right.” He dips his hand into the basket of corn chips. “So this is serious with you two, like the real deal?”
“It is for me.”
I’m saved from further explanation when Amita’s phone rings and after a quick few words, she disconnects and gets to her feet. “Sorry, boys, I gotta run into the office for a few.” She frames Marco’s face with her hands, stating, “Behave yourself.”
“Never.” They share a kiss that’s just teetering close to an R-rating, and then she loops her bag over her shoulder and wiggles her fingers as she strolls away. Marco watches her disappear then turns to me with a wide, cocky grin. “Damn, I love that woman.”
Chuckling, I reply, “Really? What a surprise.”
We order another round of drinks just as my first one is dropped off, and when the waitress disappears again, Marco gives me a narrow-eyed look. “If Cruz really did give his blessing on this union, how come you still seem upset?”
“Not upset, just … I have a lot to think about.” I’m completely out of my element with this woman in every single way. She’s older than me, she’s a parent, and she’s basically given her life over to raising her child. How the hell do I compete with that? How the hell do I give her the space she needs to trust me completely without scaring her to death?
“Come on, man, talk to me.”
Gulping at the margarita on the rocks, I scrub one hand over my face and exhale fully. “She’s pretty much done nothing but raise her kid since she had her. She doesn’t date at all and hasn’t since she dated Emmy’s dad.”
Marco’s eyes widen. “Are you telling me she hasn’t fucked anyone since then?”
“Christ, Marco, have some damn respect.” He rolls his eyes and waves his hand, urging me to continue. “She hasn’t been with anyone since then. And I’m a little …”
He grins. “Blue balled?”
I can see that Amita’s warning to him shot right out the door after her. “I was going to say that I’m a little nervous. That’s a lot of responsibility.”
“Better make sure you do it right, you know, give her a good amount of orgasms to make up for all the ones she’s missed over the years.”
This conversation is going nowhere fast, and while there are times I enjoy my brother’s flippant attitude toward relationships and sex, this is not one of them. “Forget it. Let’s talk about something else.”
Leaning on the table, he palms his glass and looks directly at me. “Sorry, man. I guess I don’t understand what the big deal is. Fuck the girl and be done with it.”
A few months ago I’d have been happy to do that, but everything in my life has changed—starting and ending with Sabrina. “This is not just about whether or not we sleep together. For me it might be just about sex, but for her it’s a much bigger deal. She’s got a kid for crying out loud. So when are we supposed to work our stuff in?”
He chuckles. “Hell if I know. Ask Mama.”
My eyes widen in shock. “Oh hell no.”
“Dude, you need to relax. You are way overthinking this whole thing. Just be happy, get to know her better, spend time with her and the kid. It will happen when it’s right for both of you. Until then, I’ll be happy to loan you some porn.”
Rolling my eyes, I murmur, “I have my own stash of porn, thank you very much.”
“Well you’re gonna need it.”
If this afternoon’s session in her office is any indication, I’m gonna need a lot of it, and soon. The woman spins me upside down like no one ever has but as much as I might want her, I know I have to do as I promised and let her set the pace. Until then, hopefully all this crazy shit inside my head will settle down and I’ll stop second guessing myself constantly.