Sunday morning I open my eyes to find Roman grinning at me, holding out a cup of coffee. “Good morning, beautiful.”
Scooting up against the headboard, I take the cup from his hands and murmur, “Good morning.” Taking a hearty sip, I close my eyes and sigh. “Delicious.”
“Yes you are,” he quips, sliding under the sheet next to me and sipping from his own cup.
I could get used to this. I could get used to a lot of things with him, but the reality is moments like this have been and will continue to be few and far between. And as thrilled and happy as I am to have had this time with him, the pain of things returning to the normal they have been makes my heart ache. Selfishly, I only want to exist in this moment, with him next to me and nothing between us but skin.
With a heavy sigh, I dart my eyes to his. “What time is it?”
“Almost ten.”
I sigh again and nod. Just a few more hours and I’ll have to leave this apartment for the first time in two days and return to the only life I’ve ever known. I hate that just the thought makes me miserable but it does. I know it’s not an either or—Roman or Emmy—but I can’t help feeling like I’m always going to be pulled in separate directions, always going to feel guilty that I’m not spending enough time with one of them.
Roman links his fingers with mine. “Hey, what’s the matter?”
Shrugging, I reply, “Just not ready to leave you yet.”
He removes the cup from my hands then rolls on top of me, until we’re looking at one another eye to eye. “You’re not leaving me, sweetness. This is simply how it has to be. For now anyway.”
Tears spring to the surface, and I blink furiously to hold them back. “For how long though? When will all this back and forth start to be an annoyance for you?”
His jaw tightens in anger. “You’re really asking me that after all we’ve done this weekend?”
He does have a point. We haven’t left the bedroom except to make food and shower. We’ve barely even put on clothes, although frying bacon did turn slightly hazardous when he tried to do it in the buff. Not that I minded exactly. In fact, I’m pretty sure I insisted it be that way. Roman brings out a naughty, dirty side that’s been dormant all my life. He’s awoken the beast and now that he has, I have no intention of going back to life as it was. I like having sex with this man and experiencing all the joys of his body melding with mine. I never once imagined I’d allow a man to spank me or tie me to the headboard, but having had Roman do that to me last night makes me tingle all over just thinking about it. The man is equal parts gentle lover and voracious animal, two things I’d never, ever change about him.
“I know our schedules are crazy and that Emmy is the priority, but it won’t always be like that. In a few years she’ll be off to college and you’ll be stuck with me 24-7.” He dips his head to kiss me lightly. “I never once thought any of this would be easy between us. But isn’t that part of what makes moments like this so great, so damn precious?”
With a nod, I tangle my hands in his hair. “You’re right. I’m just pouting because I don’t want to leave.”
Warm cocoa eyes drift over my face. “I don’t want you to leave either. The past few days have been …”
I like him speechless. I like that he’s lost in the memories of what we’ve done together, all the sweet, the raunchy … every single bit of it perfect in every way. But it’s all the little stuff that really does it for me: the way he holds my hand so securely in his, the whispered way he tells me he loves me—and after doing so shows me how much with his entire body—his full heart. It’s terrifying how amazing he is, how he’s every bit of the man I could have imagined and wanted in my life.
“What happens now?”
He grins down at me, skimming his lips over the curve of my breast. “Well, now I spend the next few hours reminding you how much you love me.” His hips move against mine, semi-hard cock nudged between my legs. “Then we go to Sunday dinner and pretend like all we did was talk for forty-eight hours.”
Giggling, I stroke my hands down his muscled back. “I doubt anyone will believe that.” Sobering quickly, I muse, “What I meant was, what happens with us now?”
Frowning, he pushes himself upright, hovering above me. “I’m not sure what you’re asking. Nothing is gonna change if that’s what you mean. I’ll love you regardless of how much time we spend together.”
“What if that isn’t enough?”
“For you or for me?”
Shrugging, I slide out from underneath him and sit upright. “For either of us. What then?”
Roman turns on his side to face me, head propped up in his hand. “Well, if I’m being honest, I’d like us to eventually live together or get married. If that’s something you want.”
Surprise skirts through my body and my eyes widen. “Is that really what you want?”
“I want whatever makes you happy. If you want to get married, count me in. I’d love nothing more than for your last name to be Moran.”
My stomach rolls, a mixture of fear and happiness volleying around until I’m considering running to the bathroom. I never, ever thought that marriage would enter into this conversation, but he seems perfectly content to discuss the subject as if it wasn’t going to completely change either of our lives. Doesn’t he know that I don’t have a clue how to live with anyone other than my child? What if I screw it up, do something dumb, threaten his love for me by being selfish or too set in my ways?
Roman snickers and sits up taking my cold, shaky hand in his. “Calm down, love. There’s no need to get all nervous just because we’re talking about what if.”
I dart my eyes sideways, take in his calm, relaxed demeanor. Shouldn’t he be freaking out too? “I just m-meant … you know … I was talking about what happens in the upcoming months.”
He shrugs. “Okay. We can talk about that, and we can talk about long-term stuff too. But you’ve gotta stop panicking.”
“I’m not panicking.” Yes I am. I really am.
“You totally are. Your face is white, your eyes are huge, and you sorta look like you want to puke.”
I swallow nervously. “Sorta feels like I need to.”
“Come here,” he murmurs, pulling me across his body until I’m lying on top of him. “Look, I love you, you know that. My future is yours. And whether we continue to date for a while or get married in a month, nothing will change except for the fact that I’m going to love you more. Got it?”
The tears return, this time splashing one by one onto his chest. “Okay.”
How the heck did I get so lucky? This drop-dead gorgeous, totally sexy man wants me—with a calm resolve and certainty I couldn’t dream up if I wanted to; he seems so sure of it all … of us … of our relationship. Although, he revealed that he’s been in love with me for a long time now, his sense of acceptance about it all is slightly unnerving. What if I disappoint him? What if he one day decides being a stepfather to Emmy is more than he’s willing to take on.
“Why are you still freaked out by this?”
My eyes shoot to his. “Why aren’t you?”
He shrugs nonchalantly. “No idea. It just feels … right, I guess. I know in my gut that you’re who I should be with. Forever.”
My lips come down on his and my tears continue to wash over him as we kiss. He takes it all, kissing away the moisture on my face, then grasping my head and searing his mouth to mine. With one tip of his hips, he slides deep inside me. He loves me slowly this time, the beast inside of him hibernating for now.
Rolling us over, he hooks his arm under one knee, drawing it up and increasing the depth of each mind-blowing plunge. Each thrust is hard, deep, measured—perfectly controlled as if he’s determined to show me with his body just how invested he is. His mouth whispers across mine as we move in perfect sync with one another and slowly the doubts and fears are replaced with a fervent need for release. My entire body is on fire as he strokes me from the inside out and murmurs his love for me in my ear. The slow, eyes rolling back in my head orgasm washes over me and suddenly I’m calling out his name, and he’s thrusting fast, chasing his own end. He topples with a growl and a curse, fingers digging deep into my thigh as we shudder together.
When he eventually lifts his head and smiles lazily at me, I know without a doubt that my love for him is far bigger than any doubts or worries I could have. This man is everything, means everything to me, and I’ll do everything possible to see that he remains right here, in my arms, for the rest of my life.