What followed the date was Dante swiftly packing everything away around as and dousing the campfire, then the two of us awkwardly walking back to Dante’s cabin, his shirt still open and fluttering in the breeze, my dick still hard and sadly unseen too.

We didn’t even really talk when we got back into the cabin. Dante said “Goodnight” to me and I said “Goodnight” back and we went to bed.

While I was masturbating, I sort of wondered if he was doing the same and it just brought on even more questions of why the fuck weren’t we doing this together? I mean, I would have settled for that if he wanted to build up to the sex a little more.

I hardly slept, confused by the whole situation. It was clear that Dante found me attractive. It’s not big-headed to state something that is a total fact. He told me how good I looked before the date (he looked fantastic too, by the way) and he was touched that I was wearing the necklace he bought me, which I really hadn’t taken off since I got here because it was so nice, and yet when it got down to it, he didn’t want to.

His dick was hard and we were seconds away from actually taking whatever this relationship was somewhere beyond living together like roommates. He was into it. Wasn’t he?

I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to be with me and it made me want to back off some more. Every time I let my guard down with him, every time we got a little bit closer after a talk, something happened that made it all go backwards. I wanted to cry.

Even my feelings on the whole situation were getting confused. I’d come here thinking I was going to be used by every goddamn wolf in the pack just to make babies and carry on bloodlines and make sure that there were pups who would grow to be fertile werewolves so they could carry on the race. But he told me I was worth more than that. And that made me think that he liked me as more than some baby-making omega. Everything pointed to him wanting me to be more than that. He asked me on the date for crying out loud. Why am I going to bed alone?

Had I pushed him? Was I trying to move it all too fast?

I wasn’t going to find these answers tonight, so I turned my light off and tried to get some sleep.

I was restless and my sleep was fitful, so I woke in the morning feeling like a truck had hit me, my thoughts even more pronounced in my sleep-deprived state.

I got out of bed and padded out into the living room in my underwear and t-shirt. I second guessed it before stepping out, wondering if Dante would question my outfit as if it were some kind of sleazy come on so early in the morning. But he wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Dante?” I called out. Nothing came back. I checked the time on my phone, seeing that it was half past ten. He probably would have already gone on his rounds, which, weirdly, hurt me. Somehow I’d gotten so used to rising with him, eating breakfast with him and saying goodbye before he left that it set me off balance for him to not be here when I got out of bed.

I shook my head. This was all getting too much. I reached into my pocket and took out my phone again, scrolling through my contacts until I found Mom. My finger hesitated over the call button. I’d not spoken to her in over a week. Would she even want to talk?

Of course she will I told myself, shaking my head. She’s your mom.

The phone rang and rang, Mom eventually picking up.

“Owen,” she said in place of hello. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you.”

“Hi Mom,” I said, my heart hurting at the sound of her voice. “How are things?”

“Oh, you know,” she said, letting the words hang in the air between us. I didn’t know. I didn’t know because she didn’t talk, she didn’t tell me anything.

“I was calling because I really need someone to talk to,” I said. She didn’t say anything, I could practically feel the frost coming through the phone. “It’s really hard not knowing anyone here and I was hoping I could talk to you.”

“Oh,” she said, her voice flat but some tone of surprise sort of coming through. “What about Dante? He seemed...” she took a second. “He seemed friendly.”

The last person I wanted to speak to right now was Dante.

“You know what?” I said, anger bubbling in my chest. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll…I’ll find someone else. Or talk to Dante. Bye Mom.”

She didn’t say goodbye, she just hung up the phone, and I found tears springing to my eyes and rolling down my face with hardly any warning. God why was she like that? Why was she so hard to reach? Every time I tried to reach out to her I got shut down and now it was happening with Dante too. Maybe I was the problem. I was the commonality. Fuck.

I needed advice, I needed help, I needed to know what to do about Dante, I didn’t need to speak to Dante. I sat on the sofa and put my head in my hands, the tears still coming. Fuck. I hated this. I hated crying. I hated not being able to stop myself from crying. I hated my mom.

I sat up straight.

I’d never had that thought before.

She gave me life, she looked after me as a child, but since Dad died she had been so unbelievably absent. Though if I thought about it, she was absent before then too just in a different way. Lakeshore was just like that. And here I was in Eastwind where everyone seemed to be a whole lot more open and willing to talk about their feelings and I found myself craving that sort of emotional attention.

I had already changed so much after being here for a week.

What about Horus? I wondered if he would speak to me. He’d seemed so kind and wise when he was speaking to Dante, perhaps he would be able to give me some friendly advice.

I had a quick bowl of cereal and made myself some coffee before getting myself ready to go. I showered and dressed and walked down towards the campsite. I said hello to a few people on the way down, many of them recognizing me from the days I had been out with Dante while he was doing his rounds. They were all so friendly, any one of them probably would have helped me if I came to them with Dante trouble, but I’m sure he wouldn’t want me spreading this around to just anyone. He was close with Horus. If Horus wanted to help me, I knew he would be able to.

I walked out of the cabin and into the late morning, greeting people as I passed them, making my way down to Horus’ cabin all tucked away in the trees. He opened the door eagerly after I knocked.

“Owen,” he said, a smile bursting from beneath his beard. “How wonderful to see you, how are you?”

“I’m well thank you, Horus,” I said. “And yourself?”

“Oh, I’m well, thank you,” he replied. He raised a bushy eyebrow. “Dante hasn’t sent you to check in on me, has he? He’s such a worrier, that boy.”

“No, not at all,” I said. “This is purely a social call from me.”

“Well, how nice,” he said. “Come in, I’ve just made a pot of tea.”

This always seemed to be the case with Horus. I wondered whether or not he just had a pot of tea on always just in case someone popped round.

He brought it over to the coffee table and poured it for me while I sat in the armchair and waited.

“Now, I don’t mean to be forward,” Horus said as he sat down, groaning a little as he got himself down into the chair. “But I have a sneaking suspicion that this is a little more than a social call, Owen.”

I took a sip of the tea. “You’ve got me.”

He chuckled heartily, breaking out into a cough that he had to beat his chest to release. “What can I do for you, Owen?”

“I wanted to ask you for some advice,” I said tentatively. “With Dante.”

“With Dante?” he said. “Are you two having trouble?”

“Not at all,” I blurted quickly, though his raised eyebrow told me that he didn’t believe me. “Well, a little, yes,” I admitted. “I don’t completely know what he is looking for,” I said.

“I’m not sure what you mean, dear boy,” he said.

“Well, you know he won me at auction, right?” Horus nodded. “I assumed it was because he wanted to make use of the fact that I was fertile and help to bring up the numbers of the Eastwind pack again or something.”

Horus nearly choked on his tea. “That hardly seems like Dante.”

“I see that now,” I said solemnly.

“So what is the problem?”

“I…I feel a little embarrassed saying this out loud,” I said with laughing nervously.

“If you think I haven’t heard it all, seen it all, and done it all before, you’re sadly mistaken,” he grinned. “Tell me, Owen, don’t be shy.”

I sighed. “I tried to have sex with Dante on that first night, thinking that was what he wanted and he rebuffed me,” I started. “And then, I kissed him after his rounds after he’d taken me around, after that first day you and I met actually, and he stopped me and asked me on a date, which we went on last night–”

“How nice!” Horus exclaimed.

“It really was!” I said. “We had a picnic at an abandoned campsite and we looked at the stars, it was so romantic. And then I tried to take things further again and he stopped me. Am I doing something wrong? I don’t want to upset him but, at the same time, I know what I’m here for.”

Horus furrowed his brow. “Do you know, Owen?” he asked.

“Yes, of course.”

Horus shook his head. “I’m not sure you do,” he sighed and put his teacup down. “Look at the evidence you have in front of you, Owen,” he said, leaning forward in his chair. “Dante has set up this romantic date for the two of you. He has given you the clothes off his back until your things arrived; he has tried to make you feel as comfortable as possible since you got here. Think about it.”

I did and I came up with nothing more than what I already had. Horus sighed.

“Dante is not looking for a quick fix omega who he can make babies with and help to replenish what has been lost within the pack,” Horus said. “I’ve known Dante for a very long time and what Dante is after is romance.”

I blinked. “What?”

“For as long as I can remember Dante has very much been of the mind that first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage,” he chuckled a little. “He’s always been that way. It only follows that he would want that with whoever it was he was going to be creating offspring with.” Horus paused. “I don’t think for one second he would have bid on you at the Howl because you were a young, fertile omega. This is Dante we’re talking about, there would have been more to it than that.”

I thought back to that first night, trying to remember what Dante said. It clicked in. “He said that he’d seen me at Howls before and had always tried to talk to me but could never convince himself to do it.”

“Aha!” Horus exclaimed, banging his teacup on the table. I jumped. “That’s it then. There is your clue. He’s had his eye on you for a while, Owen, you’re not just a fertile omega he was looking to procreate with.” He scoffed.

“So he wants romance,” I said. “He wants a relationship?”

“He wants a mate,” Horus said. “He’s been interested in you long before he knew you were fertile, so cross that out of your mind right away. He’s wanted to get closer to you for a while and this is his opportunity. Dante wants whoever it is he is going to have babies with to be someone he loves. He doesn’t want it to be because it is convenient.”

I sat back in the armchair, my mind reeling. Dante was after romance, a relationship, and something more long term. I could feel myself spinning out of control at the thought of it. I’d never had anything like that before. I was never sure that a long-term relationship was even the right thing for me. I liked him, of course I did. He was sweet and generous and kind and I really enjoyed spending time with him. But the thought of a full on relationship with someone suddenly felt like it was moving too fast. Which is why me pushing for sex with him was moving too fast for him.

“What’s going through your mind, Owen?” Horus said.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to make that kind of commitment,” I said quietly. “I don’t want to hurt Dante. We’ve spent so much time together over the past week and I’ve really grown to like him. I don’t want to hurt him in any way. But I think we need to slow down before we start thinking about long-term relationships.”

“Forever is an awfully long time,” Horus croaked. He sighed and leaned forward in his chair again. “You’re allowed to not be ready for a long-term relationship, Owen,” he said. “You’ve known each other for a week, you are allowed to take your time. But I’m not the person you need to be having this conversation with,” he added.

“I need to say this to Dante, don’t I?” I said, nervously.

“You do,” he said. “Dante is a good man. He will listen to what you’re saying and he will hear you. What you need to do is make sure that you are hearing what he says too. Communication is so very important to a relationship.”

“Thank you, Horus,” I said, finishing up my tea. “You’re incredibly wise, do you know that? This pack is lucky to have you.”

“I’ve been around for a terribly long time,” he said with a laugh. “I’m glad to have helped. I just want Dante to be happy.”

“You’re very kind, also,” I said.

I stayed and we talked for a little while longer, but eventually Horus became tired and I excused myself returning to the house. When I got back I climbed back into bed and slept away most of the afternoon, only waking up when I heard Dante return home from his rounds.

“Owen?” he called out, his voice tentative, a nervousness sitting at the back of it that I’d not really heard before. Maybe he thought I would have run off. I didn’t want him thinking that. I didn’t want Dante to be hurt.

I pulled my clothes back on and headed back out into the living room where he was stood with a panicked look on his face. It vanished as he heard the door close behind me.

“You’re here,” he said.

“Where else would I be?” I said brightly.

He smiled, like he second-guessed himself in that moment.

“Can I talk to you?” I said.

“Sure,” he seemed cautious. “It sounds serious, is everything okay?”

“Uh-huh,” I replied. “I just wanted to talk to you about last night.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to put pressure on you or anything. I got a little caught up in the moment and I’m sorry if it felt like I was rushing things–”

“That’s not it,” he interrupted. “That’s not it at all, I really wanted to.”

Now I was confused. If he really wanted to, then why didn’t he?

“I really wanted to in that moment, but I’m a virgin,” he said.

“Oh.”

“Oh god, don’t say it like that,” he said, taking a seat in the living room. “No one in the pack knows. I’m so embarrassed. I’ve just been waiting for the right person and when we were getting all hot and heavy last night I got nervous and pushed you away. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” I breathed. “I should be the one apologizing. I had no idea you’d never done that before. I wouldn’t have pressured you if I’d known.” I took a beat. “And besides. I think it’s nice that you waited for the right person. I sort of wished I’d done that too.”

“I kept telling myself it was because I didn’t want to rush things, but I think it was fear too, I guess?”

And here was my in, surely. I took a deep breath. “About rushing things,” I said. “I’ve never been in a long-term relationship before. It’s always been little flings here and there but never anything serious. So what’s happening between us is super new to me and I’m pretty scared of it, if I’m honest.” I paused. “But I like where this is going. I’m enjoying spending time with you.”

He got up off the armchair and took a few careful steps towards me, placing his hands on my upper arms. I looked into his eyes; they were a little bit wet, tears seeming to be readily forming in them. I hoped I hadn’t upset him.

He leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips. It was the first time he’d instigated a kiss and it felt so good. I felt wanted.

“You’re too sweet,” he said. “We can take it slow. Maybe both of us could do with opening our minds a little, huh?” He leant down and kissed me again, harder this time, his tongue finding its way into my mouth. “If you’re willing to try something new, to try a relationship, maybe I can try something new too. Take a risk.”

He kissed me again, his hands reaching beneath my shirt and pulling my body closer to him. He pulled away.

“Do you want to…?” he breathed.

I nodded. Oh my god, it was actually happening.