SUNLIGHT CREEPING THROUGH the blinds and curtains woke Lydia from her unintended nap. Feeling every muscle as she stretched, she remembered how her early morning had started. It was late morning according to her nightstand clock – she had slept for several hours after her workout with Declan.

Smiling at the thought of him, awareness began to set in when she saw the bottled water sitting next to her bed. He had checked on her and must’ve covered her. With a quick jolt, she sat up and looked under the blanket, recalling that she hadn’t even dressed when she first laid down. She hadn’t meant to fall into a deep slumber, but had and hoped that she didn’t flash Declan with a free show, having only been covered in her towel.

Given how she had been laying and the way the towel was wrapped, she was probably safe. There was a part of her that still wondered, though, and that wonder settled in a pool of heat in her belly. If he had seen anything, what did he think? A man of few words, he grunted a lot – she wondered if he grunted at her half naked body? There it was again, that train of thought that should never have entered her mind to begin with.

Lydia pondered those thoughts while she got ready for the day. It was completely inappropriate for her to even wonder what he thought of her, much less feel warm and fuzzy about it. She was, indeed, still married – a technicality she would resolve when she was able.

When Lydia went to the kitchen for a bite to eat, her attention was caught by a spread of items on the counter, assumed to be for her. A smile stretched from ear to ear when she saw that there was a vegetable based protein powder sitting next to a blender-like smoothie maker. There were also two complete sets of very conservative work-out clothes.

Her heart swelled at the thoughtful items. Declan, it seemed, had a soft side despite his angry ogre first impressions. She went to work, gathering some of her Farmers Market finds to make him a quick and refreshing thank you. While she was at it, she couldn’t help but giggle at the long work out pants and long, crew neck shirts that were going to be loose as they were a size too big. The short shorts and tank must’ve been too much for him.

With two green smoothies in hand, Lydia met Declan out back just as he was hanging up his cell phone.

“Wow, what do we have here?” he asked, making a sour face.

“Real food – it will hydrate you, give you a boost, great skin, hair, and just overall refreshing,” she claimed with confidence.

“A smoothie? Does all of that?” he laughed, just before taking a drink. “It’s a fruity milkshake.”

“It’s healthy! You should appreciate that, given your…physique…and…all that…” Waving a hand in front of Declan, Lydia was indicating that was Declan. “…muscle…stuff…you…have.”

A mischievous grin stretched across his face. “Muscle stuff? I’m old fashion I guess. I don’t do all of the protein powders and such, just exercise hard, every single day, and try to eat decent, but I never skip a beer.”

“Must be nice in those jeans,” she replied

He looked down at his jeans, then back to her day dreamy eyes and that grin became a full-blown smile. Raised eyebrows alerted her to his amusement, and she quickly realized what she had just said.

“Genes, I mean! It must be nice to have the kind of genes that make for a perfectly sculpted body that comes so easily.”

“Perfectly sculpted body, huh?” He laughed when she buried her face in her palm.

Completely embarrassed, she quickly scolded, “Don’t let that go to your head…and you know what I mean!”

Trying to relieve the rosy cheeks she was currently wearing, he flexed then bounced his pecs. “Well, I am blessed to look like this.”

Lydia rolled her eyes in dramatic fashion before turning away so the effect he had on her went unnoticed. Sitting in silence, they enjoyed the view in the warm morning sun while finishing their smoothies. There was news to share after his phone call just moments earlier, but he didn’t want to ruin her spirited mood. However, stalling might prove to work against him in the long run.

“So, uh, I have an update,” he said, testing the waters.

“An update? Jax and Trin?” Her hopeful tone left him feeling a bit guilty because the news wasn’t about those whom she wanted to know.

“Actually, no. Esteban,” he started, watching her reaction, “knows now. He is in mourning. He thinks it was a hit or a warning, so he left the country like a coward. No surprise there.”

“Oh. Okay, then. So, what next?” A melancholy vibe settled in and could be heard in her tone.

“We watch for him at the funeral. He has his people organizing a funeral for all three of you. We’ll grab him there before he leaves again. He’s spooked, which is good; it means he’s likely to make a mistake. That’s what we want,” Declan replied, trying to offer some sort of positive spin to an entirely adverse situation.

“Three of us?” she questioned. “What about you? Declan, you were his right hand! Well, Jason was…”

Lydia was appalled by the idea that someone who did so much for Esteban, for their family, could just be swept away, as if he never mattered. She hurt for him – the message Esteban was sending was more than hateful. More and more, as the story unfolded, she found it easier to see the monster that was Esteban. It didn’t help the loss she felt over her son and sister, but it certainly helped her get over the loss of a marriage that was obviously broken from go.

She had questioned herself previously – had her desire to fix her marriage been out of love or habit. If there were ever a doubt before, she could confidently say now…it was habit. No love lost.

“I guess I didn’t rank as much as we thought.” Declan shrugged, not nearly as hurt as she was. “To him, people are disposable. Get what you want and move on – just business. As far as he knew, I had no family. I guess he did buy a random plot somewhere, and he’s having me buried – just no service.”

“I suppose you’re right. And it isn’t just in business. He got what he wanted the day I finally said yes, and then he moved on.”

Stunned by the revelations, Lydia was saddened more for Declan than herself. Her husband ran the minute she died, worried only about himself. That spoke volumes. He had other people, most likely strangers, plan a service for their family. That spoke even louder.

Jason, as they knew him, had been such a big part of their lives, family really. He was Esteban’s most trusted companion, which was why he was assigned to Lydia and Jax most of the time. His most trusted associate, looking out for his most loved people – or so she had thought.

It broke her heart that Declan had been so, as he put it, disposable. Quickly tossed aside without a single care – wasn’t that what Esteban was essentially doing where she and Jax were concerned too? Another reason to despise the man and live without regret from this day forward. He deserved everything he had coming.

She sat in wonder for a moment before addressing something she felt the need to express. “I hope you know that the feeling isn’t shared. You do matter. You were a big part of our lives as Jason – even if it was just a job to you – you were part of our family and just like Trinity and Jax…I grieved you, too.”

Leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together, he nodded, appreciating the sentiment as it said far more than words could have expressed. Though she had trouble showing it, she did trust him, cared on some level. That meant the world to him.

“Well, that part is done. I thought you should know. Now we just sit back and wait.”

A grin that said challenge accepted took over her expression, “Once I waited four weeks for the new couture line to go from runway to rack at Barney’s because the plant in Singapore that was manufacturing it all burned to the ground…I can sooo do this.”

“Woooow,” he teased, grasping his chest with exaggerated enthusiasm, “four weeks? That’s like totally impressive!”

A playful smack to his hard as a rock bicep for teasing her earned her a dramatic eye roll in return. It also left her with goosebumps – perhaps from the brief connection of feeling him under her hand. He liked that, even though he shouldn’t.

“Go get ready to work out,” he said.

With a confused cock of her head, she asked, “Work out? We already did!”

Taking to his feet, he headed toward the door. “That was strength and endurance. We are going to learn self-defense now, so wear street clothes so you become comfortable with it in any attire. Next, I’ll teach you to shoot.”

He laughed at her slack jaw and wide eyes. It was probably the idea of shooting a gun that got her. Lydia had a tough spirit, and that would go a long way, but she needed to be physically tougher. Comparing waiting out an international murdering cartel boss to a sale at Barneys told him just how much tougher he needed to make her. Sure, she was kidding, but it was a chilly reminder of the pampered life she had always known. It was time to turn pampered to badass.

Given the threat they were under, and risks he was taking, there was always a chance that something could happen to him, God forbid. That was his real worry – what would she do then. He needed to give her the tools and skills to fight back.

For now, things were looking up. There was a plan in place to lure Esteban out of hiding and nail his ass once and for all. Staying hidden was key, though not easy, but they now had a routine to keep them busy and their time occupied.

More importantly, though, Lydia trusted Declan. She was fighting back, taking control of her life as much as she could, and getting stronger mentally and emotionally. They were also getting along. The tears were fewer, their interactions better, and they genuinely enjoyed their time together which made their situation a hell of a lot less lonely.

For now.