CHAPTER 15
Luke’s voice came loud and sharp, startling both women. Luke and Liam had come in unheard and unnoticed. They had that stealth like presence down which was great for their line of work, but shitty for those around them that needed a minute to take a handful of pregnancy tests…in private.
Luke’s perfect shade of red, tense jaw, and dark menacing eyes were a pretty conclusive sign he heard exactly what Daisy said…and how he felt about it.
City looked back and forth between Luke and Daisy before whispering, “Sorry I didn’t hear them come in.”
“They tend to do that – quiet and creepy.”
“So, this is why you sent me on a ghost mission, City? Liam didn’t need me, you needed me out of here, so you could do this under the radar.” Luke’s attention shifted from City to Daisy, “A little covert operation, Daisy?””
Daisy swallowed hard, she hadn’t seen him mad, not like this. “Luke, I…”
“You what?”
City chimed in, taking some of the heat off of Daisy, “This was all me, Luke. When I figured out that it was a baby and not the tacos, I thought, hey what are the odds Daisy has…a…baby…too. And, I’m not helping.”
Liam cocked his head at City, signaling for her to step away.
“City was just trying to help, Luke, please don’t be mad at her.” Daisy pleaded.
“Mad? Why would I be mad? I’m happy City’s pregnant. I’m happy for my brother.” Luke said, turning to high-five his brother. “Why would I be mad? It’s not like City was a co-conspirator here trying to toss a surprise baby into an already crazy, unsafe, situation with a client.”
With a dagger sharp glare, and even sharper tone, Daisy took a step forward challenging Luke’s statement. “A client…”
“You know what I mean, Daisy.”
“Luke, she doesn’t have anyone here. I was honestly just trying to help. I didn’t think it had even crossed her mind. Given her response to my suggestion…I was right.” City stepped in again, consumed with guilt because this was not going at all how she thought it would. “This is scary enough with a committed partner, a family supporting you, and without a bunch of thugs hunting you like a trophy for their wall…”
“I get it City. You’ve helped. Thank you for that.” Luke’s snide remarks were insincere, he wasn’t thankful, he was pissed. “So…did I hear you right? You are pregnant?”
“I…I uh…guess, according to these.” Daisy held up the five pregnancy tests.
“You guess?” Weaving his hands through his hair, Luke paced for a moment, collecting himself, “There’s what, like a dozen of those in your hand and you guess?”
“Five.”
“What?”
“There’s five…of these.” She said, raising the tests once more.
Leaning in, Luke waved his hands in front of him, mimicking the chaos that was their conversation. “Five. Okay, so there’s little to no question as to whether you are or are not indeed pregnant. The real question is whose baby is it?”
“Luke, come on man, that’s enough.” Liam’s disappointment in his brother’s statement was clear. Frustration, shock, sure…down right mean, however, was unacceptable.
“What? It’s an honest legitimate question. I don’t know where she’s been and who she’s been with.”
City gasped at his statement, “She’s not a stray dog, Luke. Jesus, quit being such an asshole.” City wasn’t one to curse, so having done so should have struck a chord with Luke. “What has gotten into you? This behavior is so beneath you.”
With his arms wide and a sarcastic cackle, Luke went on, “Is it? Is it beneath me? I’m not a nice guy – never have been. If you expected hot air balloons, proposals, and skipping off into the sunset, you trapped the wrong guy. I don’t do any of that shit.”
“Why are you doing this?” Daisy sniffled, he wasn’t just upset, he was pissed, and trying to hurt her.
“Why are you doing this?” Luke fired back, pointing to City’s belly. “What are you going to do about it?”
“What am I going to do about it?” Disbelief had Daisy’s eyelashes batting and head shaking. “I’ve known about this exactly thirty seconds longer than you have.”
“And…what’s your plan? Certainly, you knew this could happen. What are you going to do?”
Rage filled her. Daisy was a lot of things, but she wasn’t a liar and con. “You think I did this on purpose? You think I’m so desperate that I would sink to such a level? Trap you? Last I checked, it takes two to make a baby, but it’s only the woman that gets a nine-month commitment with an 18-year bonus. You’re free to do whatever you want, Luke.”
“Oh, so now I don’t get to be a part of my kid’s life? What, I’m not good enough?”
“Those are your words, Luke! I’ve never said that! In fact, you are the only one I’ve ever heard say that! You are the only one that thinks you aren’t good enough for anything but the demons you’re constantly trying to bury.” She was done and letting him have it. “YOU are the only one that thinks you are less than. For some odd reason that I’m having trouble remembering at the moment, everyone adores you. Loves you more than anything. Thinks the world of you. You’re everyone’s fricken hero, but your own, Luke! So, stop putting words in my mouth and get over yourself.”
Luke stood there silently, in a stare down with Daisy – it was a battle of silent will. City stepped away and moved next to Liam who shrugged. When City raised her eyebrow questioning what to do, Liam shook his head, “Let them finish.”
“Daisy…I told you.” His voice was monotone, cold, eyes dark and void of emotion. The wall that had slowly come down went right back up in an instant. “I’m no good. I’m not a good person. I’ve done things that would disgust you - make you fear me. I can’t…I can’t be good enough to you, or for you, much less a baby.”
Daisy crying, shaking her head. “That’s not true.”
“It is.” The calm in his demeanor was more striking than the anger moments before. “I’ve robbed families of their loved ones. There’s blood on my hands, Daisy. Blood. I’m a bad guy, I don’t deserve any of this. It’s not mine to have.”
Daisy fell into a sob, she wanted to fight for him but didn’t see the point if he wouldn’t fight too. He didn’t think he’s loveable or that he deserved love.
He turned and walked to the door, “I can’t do this right now. I need out of here.”
“Luke…” Daisy hollered after him and went for the door, but Liam stopped her.
“I’ll go. I don’t want you to leave this building, okay? I’ll take care of him.” Liam hugged her and let her cry on him for a moment, because she needed it. With his hands on her shoulders he bent to eye level, “It will be okay, give it time. My brother is…a fucking idiot sometimes but it’s only because he has a conscience and it gets the better of him. I’m not trying to make excuses for him, it’s just…who he is.”
City was in tears when she took Daisy into her arms before giving Liam a weak smile and nod, telling him to go. She could handle Daisy. She’d be her shoulder.
“It’s okay, honey. He’s right. It will all work out. Luke is very…broken.”
“That makes two of us.”
“I can’t be someone’s dad. I’m a killer.” Luke said from his stool at the end of the bar.
Liam choked on his beer, “Shhhhh! Jesus, don’t say it so loud.”
Luke followed direction, dropping to a whisper, “I killed people. I don’t get a girl like Daisy and a freakin little…” he cradled his arms as if holding an infant, “bundles of baby. What the fuck am I going to do with a baby? I don’t know any babies.”
Liam leaned in, finger pointing in his brother’s face, “You know babies. You know Reagan – she was a baby before. I was remembering that because I’m…her daaad.”
The bartender put another shot in front of them, but before he could walk away, Liam knocked on the bar, and held up two fingers, ordering the next round before the newly delivered was consumed.
“That’s right,” Luke slurred, “She was a baby for a while. Jesus, then they grow up. I can’t have a girl. I can’t do that. Nope, no girl. Not at all. They turn into…women.”
Luke tossed back his shot of something smooth, amber, and strong as hell. Letting out a satisfied sigh, he spun the shot glass on the bar, earning him his next round.
“So, you want a boy then. You’ll get one of those if you don’t get the girl so…boy it is.” Liam reasoned, his thoughts making perfect sense in his rummy mind.
“Noooo. Boys turn into men. Pricks and assholes, brother. Pricks…and assholes.” Another shot down, he was feeling good, better than good. He was fucking drunk.
“You gotta have one or the other.”
“Shit. You’re right. I don’t know. I don’t think I can do this. What am I going to do with a kid, man? I’m no good for a kid. What kind of role model would I be with the shit I’ve done?” He waved a few bills in the air and finally told the bartender to start bringing them two at a time and a pint of something local to chase with.
Even inebriated, Liam made sense, “Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Reagan and Jax why they think the world of Uncle Luke?” He questioned, referring to his daughter Reagan and Declan’s son Jax. “They look up to you, man.”
“Only because I buy them animals and shit. A dog. Now that’s what I need – can’t disappoint a dog. They just love the shit out of you, then piss on your floor and eat your furniture.”
“So, do the kids, brother. You aren’t a bad guy.” Liam placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder while he went sentimental to which Luke gave him a sharp look then stared at the hand still resting on said shoulder. “You have a job that many can’t do. You see it as bad, but it takes courage to do what you do, and be who you are. Everyone has skeletons in their closet, man, yours are just…the hardest to keep locked away.”
“Is it brave? Is it brave to just end someone?” Switching roles, Luke now had his hand on Liam’s shoulder causing Liam to offer a turbulent stare in return.
“Does it make the world a better place, Luke?”
Luke snickered and shrugged, understanding where Liam was going with that comment. “Don’t make it sound like I’m some sort of saint.”
Liam lowered voice to a hushed tone, that was nearly inaudible combined with the onset of slurring. “What if you are? You are focused on the lives you’ve ended when you should be focused on how many you’ve saved by doing…whatever you do. Or, how many lives you’ve saved in general by doing whatever you do because you just saved…lives.”
Luke turned to look at his brother, a somber look on his face, “I think you said that a bunch of times, but it was all the same thing.”
“So, I did say all of them out loud, I couldn’t tell.” Liam snorted. “But you know what I mean, right? Good came from all of it. You’re a real hero, like from a movie but real life, ya know?”
Emotion consumed Luke, partly from the liquor, but mostly from his brother’s words. Maybe he was on to something. Maybe what Luke did wasn’t all bad?
Liam went on, “You don’t talk about where you’ve been with the military and what you did before you joined us at Brother’s Keeper, but I have a pretty good idea. Luke, you’ve saved villages of people, even nations. Let that count for something. You deserve to be in history books and get a day named after you. Like, Luke-day. It can go between Sunday and Tuesday…I never liked Monday.”
“So, to know that, you had to have hacked the pentagon to see where I was.” Luke chortled.
“I can neither confirm or deny that statement.” Liam laughed and shrugged, before moving back to beer. “Cause that shit is super fucking illegal.”
“He did – I caught him.” Declan said, walking up from behind with Wylie in tow.
“Ah, shit. City told you?” Luke tossed up his hands, his secret was out. “She was pissed at me.”
“No, City told Lydia, who had Eva with her, and they sent me here while they went to comfort Daisy. Seems some asshole made her cry and shit.” Declan punched Luke in the arm which would normally result in a retaliatory hit, but drunk Luke just laughed at his brother.
Liam turned to Wylie and snorted, “Eva sent you, Wy-wee? Do you guys remember when this asshole used to call himself Wy-wee, funny shit.”
“Hell no. Eva’s just a colleague. One I can’t stand. Dec made me come. And I called myself that when I was three…you drunk bastard.”
Luke and Liam laughed in unison then Liam cackled, “Okay, wittle Wy-wee.”
“That asshole Dace is MIA. He owes me.” Wylie said, digging in to the row of shots in front of him. “Dealing with you guys when you go all bitch baby is his department.”
“He’s probably on one of his trips, looking for Ivy.” Declan shrugged. “His loss, boys night out. We have to talk daddy dickwad here down from a ledge.”
“Jesus, I can’t believe the four of you. You disgust me with all your women problems.”
Luke looked at his brother, who was clearly in denial, “You have them too, Wy. Yoooou have them too.”
“No. No I don’t.” Wylie fired back, not interested in discussing Eva with drunk Larry, Curly, and Moe. “Back to you, big guy. Picking on pregnant women?”
“I…I was caught off guard. What would you do if you walked in on that.”
Wylie put his hands out and shrugged, “I wouldn’t pick on a tiny woman carrying my child.”
“Screw you, Wylie.”
“Nah, you belong to Daisy, I’m good.”
“Liam is right, though man.” Declan added. “You aren’t all of those things. You’re just a good guy, with a hard job. You’re only the villain if you want to be.”
“Jesus, how long were you listening? Liam said that like six shots ago.”
“We’ve been at that table behind you for twenty minutes, letting you do your twin sister thing that you do. And it was only three shots, we’ve been matching shots from back there.” Declan winked, and kept on drinking.
“Fuck off.” Luke and Liam said in unison.
“See. Twin sister shit. Freaky.” Wylie laughed, evening the score for the Wy-wee thing.
Luke dropped his head, “Anyway, I get what you’re saying, but…”
“But…you need to let it go. Forgive yourself. Sounds like you’re about to be a dad.” Declan only said what everyone else had been saying, but somehow, he was getting through.
With his head tossed back, Luke swept his hands through his hair in frustration. “I can’t wrap my head around that. I don’t know the first thing about being some kids dad.”
“Good news…you don’t have to do it alone.” Liam interjected, in all seriousness, with the liquor still very present in his delivery. “There’s a mom involved – they’re good at that shit.”
“Daisy…” Luke sighed.
“Yeah, Daisy. You did her wrong back there. You were a fucking asshole.” Liam scolded with anger.
“I can’t believe she did this.”
“Did what, Luke? Had sex with you? I can’t believe it either. She’s either a savage or a saint.” Declan laughed.
“Screw you. I can’t believe she was going to keep it from me. She knows I’m not good enough.”
“That’s not what I heard her saying.” Liam defended, as if Luke’s harsh words were meant for him. “And she didn’t keep shit from you. Looked to me like she was trying to wrap her head around it too.”
“Why the big secret? Why send me away, then?’
“Uh, if I followed correctly, and I’m pretty sure I did because I’m a genius, and wasn’t drunk then, my girl was behind that. Not yours.”
“Daisy isn’t my girl.”
Wylie nearly choked on his drink, “She isn’t? Then why you playing house like she is? Why are you sleeping with her?”
Luke shrugged, and like the cold bastard he was certain he was, said, “Because she’s…there. Why not?”
“Oh, come on. How much have you had to drink?” Liam shook his head, since when had he become the wise sober-ish one, that was usually Declan’s department. He was going to need another drink, “I think you’re cut off if you are believing your own bullshit. You love her, like love her love her. Like to the moon, more than there are stars, take a bullet for you, and sing sappy love songs love her.”
“Love her love her? Really? You’ve been around the kid too much, Liam.”
“Stop changing the subject. You’re different with her. You want to be different for her, Luke.”
Luke hung his head, “Yeah, maybe. She makes me feel…different. It’s like she see’s something in me. Like I’m some hero saving her ass from the world.”
“Uh, you are saving her ass from the world. And that feeling she gives you is what got you a baby.”
“Fuck off, Liam.”
Liam was enjoying his brother’s torment far too much, “You love her.”
“I don’t know about that, but when we got that picture of Carter, I felt something I’d never felt before. I was scared – for Daisy. I couldn’t get her out of there fast enough. Then when I left the other day, to go out of town, it was hard…really fricken hard, bro.”
“You… love her.” Liam repeated.
“When I got home, I couldn’t get to her fast enough.”
“You…love…her.”
“I stunk. I was filthy, but all I could do was crawl in that bed and hold her. I needed to feel her, see she was okay so I would be okay.”
“You…love…her.” Liam began to sing.
“Tonight, when I heard her say she was pregnant, I wanted to smile, pick her up, swing her around and do all that sappy shit until I realized. I can’t be anyone’s father, much less a husband. I’m her bodyguard – that’s all I’m cut out to be.”
Liam rolled his eyes, “You love her.”
“Jesus, I love her.”
Liam smacked the back of Luke’s head, “Finally. I’m really sorry that I got all the brains, and left you like this. If I could, I’d share some smarts because I have plenty and you desperately need them.”
“Screw you, Liam.”
Declan chimed in, feeling the effects of the liquor, “So, what are you going to do about it.”
“I think I blew it. I was a major dick.”
“Yep, you were. A total dick, but what’s new.” Liquor was Liam’s truth serum. “You didn’t blow it. Nothing some groveling, flowers, and whatever she wants for the rest of her life won’t fix. Oh…and say you’re sorry.”
“Rest of her life, huh?”
“I think that’s where you’re going with all this, right?” Liam questioned, “You basically just said you want to take care of her, you need her, she’s your…everything.”
“You sound like a Hallmark commercial.”
Liam tossed his hands up in the air, “No regrets. I love…love. It’s fucking fantastic.”
“You love love? Jesus, you’re drunk.” Wylie wasn’t feeling drunk enough to hang with this crowd. “I think you handed over your man card instead of your debit card.”
“Seriously. I get it, Luke. When I lost Cass, I didn’t think I could ever be happy again. Thought I didn’t deserve it. You’re no different. You’re just as…bad at this.”
“Bad at this? Thanks.” Luke sighed, “You’re right, I’m bad at this.”
“When I finally figured out me and City – it got harder man. Not easier. I didn’t think we were going to get us because Wells would have made our lives hell forever.” Liam said, referring to Wells, the man who kidnapped City.
“So, I killed him.” Luke deadpanned. “You know I killed him. He didn’t do it himself. He wasn’t armed. Still think I deserve all your Hallmark shit?”
“I do. And you might want to keep your voice down when you talk about your mercenary stuff.” Liam raised his voice, trying to cover up his brother’s drunken confession, “Yeah, you got top score for that kill, great game, man. Video games…rock.”
Luke laughed not only at his brother’s ridiculous attempt to cover for him, but because video games was all he could come up with.
“Jesus, Luke, there’s some off-duty officers over in the corner.” Declan said, tossing a nod toward the table full of cops. “Anyway, he was a bad dude, killed a lot of people, it was the only way to stop him.”
“Maybe.”
“Luke, sometimes the wrong thing is the right thing.” And there it was, Wylie finally the voice of reason. He was a wise ass, but his heart was gold.
“Wrong is right? Like ordering another round because all these shot glasses are empty?”
“Okay. You don’t want to talk about it, keep drinking, but you know I’m right.” Wylie shook his head, “And I’m apparently not shit faced enough to deal with this shit.”
“Should I tell Daisy?” Luke pondered, “Should I tell her what I…do?”
“I think she has a pretty good idea what you do.” Wylie rolled his eyes, “Can I get another round…just for me?”
“Because of the beard…that’s how she knows.”
“What does your beard have to do with it?” Wylie went on, because Luke was missing the point, “No, because of the line of work you’re in, the hidden apartment that locked her in, and the arsenal of weapons all over the building.”
“That doesn’t exactly say killer for hire.” Declan defended.
“It doesn’t scream accountant either.” Liam snickered. “I think she fell for you, for God knows what reason, she didn’t fall for what you do for a living. I think she’ll surprise you.”
“And if it’s too much and she runs?” Luke’s greatest fear.
“Well, you happen to know a few guys in the biz that can track her down. Jesus, Luke, she wouldn’t be sleeping in your bed if she didn’t already like…you and want to be with you.” Wylie was the only one without a woman and was already better at relationships than three brothers he was looking at.
“This is getting too deep.” Luke admitted. “I need a drink.”
“Way too deep, I think you’re getting your period, Luke.”
“Fuck off, Declan.”
“Geez, let the guy get in touch with his feelings. He’s feeling emotional, sensitive, and probably a little vulnerable. Can’t we just be supportive? And maybe hold hands.” Wylie teased, catching up with the liquor.
“Screw you too, Wy.”
“We’ve already been over this – you got Daisy for that, boy.”
Luke sat back with clenched fists, “I’m going to kick your ass so hard you’ll be able to suck your own…”
“That’s more like it.” Wylie toasted with his mug in the air, “Another round, bartender.”