“Alistair did it.” I folded my hands and rested them in my lap, foot jiggling nervously, and teeth nibbling on my lower lip. “It’s not the first time either.”

Silver’s expression hardened. Kian’s turned slack in surprise. “Alistair?”

I nodded quickly.

“But…” This had taken Kian completely by surprise. “But—why?”

Now I shrugged. “I don’t know. He just… liked slapping me around. He did it often enough.”

Kian had a hard time wrapping his head around this, I could tell. Silver was more difficult to read. “But he’s always so nice.”

“Of course he is around other people.” A chuckle left me, but it wasn’t a happy one—more bitter, if anything. “No one can know he likes to fuck guys and then abuse them afterwards, because he can’t deal with his own sexuality.”

Silver bent forward a little while Kian wrapped his head around what I was saying. “How long has this been going on?”

I didn’t dare look at either of them so I kept my head bowed. “Since I met him, really. He… didn’t want to come out. To anyone, ever. And I went with it because I liked him so much. It wasn’t until I moved in with him I realised how horrible he really was.”

Wynn sat motionless next to me. No one had touched the tea. I didn’t think I could drink anything with the way my stomach was clenching tight in anxiety.

“I’ve wanted to move out for a long time, but I couldn’t move back to Mum and Dad with my job here and all. And you guys… you don’t really have the space.” It was all said to the floor. “Then I met Wynn… and he’s great. He helped me. Helped me move out, helped me last night when Al had dragged me outside to try to—I don’t know, get me back, I guess? But he didn’t like what I had to say so he hit me, and then Wynn was there and he saved me and just—” God, I was rambling.

“He’s been nothing but nice to me. He likes me exactly how I am and he doesn’t mind that people know about us. He’s not going to try and change me and he’s not going to insist on separate bedrooms and secrets and never telling anyone about our real relationship. He won’t cheat on me.” Hopefully, anyway. But even Chad had said Wynn was loyal and as his best friend he should know better than anyone what Wynn was like. I’d only known him a week, so I couldn’t say yet, but the way he’d treated me so far… it was better than anyone had ever treated me.

“Kaz…” Kian was up off the sofa and plastered against my side in an instant, hugging me so close he nearly obstructed my airways. “I never—shit, I don’t know—I never saw it.”

I didn’t hold a grudge against him. Of course not. I knew Al was manipulative. He was all charming in public. The kind of person every mother would be happy for her child to date. It was only in private he changed… “It’s not your fault.” I glanced at Silver and he stared back.

“I kinda suspected,” he said, surprising both me and Kian.

“What? You did? Since when?” Kian demanded, but he didn’t release his hold on me. “You never said…”

“I didn’t know.” He bent forward, arms dangling between his knees. “I just thought you changed a lot all of a sudden. Mathilda, who was your best friend for a long time… I mean, you pretty much stopped being her friend. And this is the girl who you worried so much about after her dad died and she went off the deep end for a bit. It was weird. I just couldn’t pinpoint why. I couldn’t tell it was Alistair. He was her friend too, right?”

Silver was the more perspective one of them. Kian was sweet and caring, but he could be a bit oblivious at times. He had such a good life that as long as something wasn’t physically wrong with someone else, he had a hard time catching on sometimes. “He is. She doesn’t know… and now she’s in France and I haven’t talked to her in months. Even if I did talk to her I have no idea what I’d say.”

“The truth?” Kian suggested.

“I don’t want to ruin her friendship with Alistair. No matter what he was to me, he’s a good friend to other people.” To Mathilda and Nick, at least, they’d been a trio ever since they started A-levels. I hadn’t been a part of it, but Mathilda and I had bonded through dance and I’d fancied Alistair so much and Nick had ended up becoming Adam’s boyfriend. Even back then Adam had been a good friend of mine; a result of both our older brothers being close friends, we’d kind of been forced together in the beginning and then hit it off.

Kian tilted his head against mine. “I can’t believe he’d be so cruel to you. You’re the sweetest guy I know.”

“He’s got issues,” I murmured. I didn’t hate Alistair… not really. I pitied him, was more like it. I’d always known I was gay and I’d never had any problem with it. But then my parents had always been open and honest and supportive. I’d never been afraid they wouldn’t accept me for exactly who I was.

“That doesn’t excuse it.” Kian finally relented his tight grip around me, green eyes glancing briefly at Wynn, who sat leant back next to me, elbow on the arm of the sofa, chin in palm. “How long have you two—? Ever since you started working at the club?”

“Oh, no,” I hurried to say, because really… did he think I’d been living with Al and been with Wynn for two whole months before things changed? “Only a week, really. It’s not that long, I know, but…” I trailed of, not sure what I’d been about to say.

Kian hitched his eyebrows. “A week? And you’re living together?”

“Yeah, well…” I glanced at Wynn but for once he was no help, sitting there all quiet like a clam. Then again, this was my brother, his boyfriend; they were my family and Wynn had clearly told me he wasn’t good with people. “You’re one to talk.” I jumped on the defensive. “You practically moved in with Silver after you shagged him too.”

“I didn’t officially move in. I still lived with Chloe for months,” he pointed out.

“Still, you spent almost every night with him.” I sighed. “We’re doing okay so far. I mean, as long as we’re both fine with the situation there’s nothing wrong with it right?” And yes, maybe it was weird to live together when it’d only been a week, but did it matter? We were fine. We were getting to know each other. And if we worked out… we’d continue living together anyway. If we didn’t… well, then I’d have to figure something else out. “You can’t know how things will turn out unless you try. And you two’ve been doing wonderfully for years now.”

I’d always been jealous of what they’d had. I’d fancied Silver when Kian had first brought him around—fancied him a lot—but it’d been obvious he and Kian were made for each other. Silver was calm where Kian could be excitable. He was tall and muscular and tattooed, where Kian was small and slim and pale. They were opposites, yet they fit so nicely together.

Wynn and I… we were opposites too. I could only dream of the kind of relationship Kian and Silver had—but maybe that dream wasn’t so far off now? Maybe I could have that too… That was all I’d ever wanted, after all. Even botching my audition wasn’t so bad if I could only have someone who liked me as much as I liked them, who didn’t treat me horribly, and like I was a dirty little secret.

“Wynn treats me well,” I said then, voice clear and sure. “He would never hurt me like Al’s done. He hurt Al last night—but he’d never raise his fist to me.” Wynn’s hands were always so gentle. Speaking of… I reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly, and giving him a small smile when he glanced at me. “I like what we have so far.” I wasn’t sure if I was speaking to him now or my brother. I was still looking at Wynn anyway, so it was probably mostly meant for him—and if it gave Kian some peace of mind in the process too, then that was good. “I want to see how we do from here. I think… we’ll be good together.”

I had so much love to give. And I didn’t think he’d ever received any. Maybe from his dead boyfriend, but… from what Chad had said about him, it probably hadn’t been the healthiest of relationships. I might’ve been damaged by Alistair… but because of that, I definitely knew what not to do in a relationship. And I had good role models in my brother and his boyfriend; they’d started as a one-off and had been together for years. There was nothing against Wynn and I ending up like that too. We could. No one knew, because no one could tell what the future held.

And wasn’t that a little nice? That there was an endless stretch of time ahead of us, where no one could tell what would happen, and only we ourselves could work for the best outcome?

“Well, you sure look happier now,” Silver pointed out, leaning back with a small smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile as much before.”

I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly.

Kian smirked. “Well, granted, when he was younger he was too busy blushing over you, babe, to ever be able to show his face much.”

“Now, come on—” Did he have to bring that up? I knew I’d been pretty obvious, but hell. Silver was sitting right there. Not to mention Wynn—he didn’t need to know I’d fancied my brother’s boyfriend back when I was a teenager.

Wynn squeezed my hand, bringing my attention to him. I smiled, albeit it in embarrassment. That wry grin of his was in place.

Kian bumped me gently. “You were so adorable back then.”

“Was not,” I mumbled.

“You were. Fancying Silver so much…” He bumped me lightly again. “And then, well, then I guess Al happened and you didn’t—I don’t know. I never noticed it. Maybe because we didn’t grow up together so I didn’t know you all that well…”

That was true. Kian had only been in our lives a few months by the time he’d met Silver, after all.

“But you clearly had some suspicions.” He cast a narrowed look at Silver.

Silver shrugged. “I knew him even less than you. For the first couple of years he hardly ever spoke in my presence, after all.” I blushed at that, because yeah, it was totally true. “And then when he told us about Alistair and it was all such a secret… Hell, I don’t know. It’s weird, is all. Even Damian is more open about his emotions than you two were about your relationship, and Damian’s so closed-off at times he might as well be a rock.”

I snorted, thinking about his best friend.

Kian clapped his hands together, turning to me again. “How about dinner tomorrow? In a restaurant? Because we can do that now, right?”

I drew back in surprise. Kian had asked me before if Al and I wanted to go out for dinner, but Al had always shut that down. He was more than happy to go over to their place for dinner—to charm them—but out in public with two femme gay guys? No way.

“Yeah, sure,” Wynn said, speaking for the first time since Kian and Silver had entered his flat. “Jeremy’s new restaurant is quite good.”

“Jeremy?” I asked faintly, surprised he’d said yes and yet giddy with the simple thought that he didn’t mind being out in public with me. He’d even go out with my brother and his boyfriend! He, who only a little while ago, had kept insisting he wasn’t a people person.

“One of Chad’s guys,” he explained. “He’s a chef.”

“Oh, right.” I hadn’t known that, but then I didn’t know Chad. He hadn’t said much about his two boyfriends the night before. Mostly, we’d quietly watched the movie and then Wynn had been home, so it had been time for Chad to leave.

“I didn’t know he’d switched jobs,” Kian said, beaming. “But sure, we can go there. Just give us the details and we’ll sort out a time, and meet up tomorrow, okay?”

My heart beat in my chest.

I had a new boyfriend and Kian didn’t seem to dislike him as much as I’d thought he did. Maybe now he’d actually met Wynn—with me—his perception of him had changed. I sure hoped so. They were all even willing to go to dinner. I gripped the front of my jumper, over my heart. I could feel it beat and I bowed my head as a smile slowly stretched my lips.

Is this happiness?

Then it’s nothing like anything I’ve ever felt before.

If it was… it was wonderful. A week wasn’t a long time, but it was long enough to change my life around completely.