CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Maisie
Six months later …
“Colors,” I murmur to myself. “Colors, and whites, and bleach.”
My hands are busy, chafing and red from too much detergent, but that’s okay. I’ve never been a vain girl, and the work suits me well. Maybe it’s not farm chores anymore, but it’s honest work all the same, and I’m grateful to have it.
“Blues, greens, and a yellow,” are my refrain. “Plus a pink,” I mumble, sorting the laundry. This should be drudgery, but it’s not. I’ve got a room of my own, neat and small, and it’s a place to stay off the grid. Yep, I get paid in cash, so there’s no way for anyone to find me.
Plus, there’s plenty to eat, and that’s important because one morning after breakfast, I threw up for no reason, forehead flushed and palms clammy. What in the world? I’ve never thrown up before, at least not since childhood. So what was going on?
But the truth became evident. Sitting limply on my bed, my eyes stared blankly at the pregnancy test. Two vertical blue lines. I scrabbled with the test instructions again, re-reading the words on the box. Yep, two lines meant that I was pregnant, there was no doubt.
So now I have Tyler’s baby in me, making me even rounder and fuller, happy and sad at once, the mixed emotions a rollercoaster of fear and ecstasy. It’s crazy. I’m going to have the child of a man who betrayed me, who stole everything I have.
And yet, it doesn’t freak me out because I want it on some level. I want Tyler’s child, he or she was conceived in love, even if I didn’t know my true circumstances at the time. So I’m going to keep the baby, working hard to support us, despite our sad environment. Ma and Pa did right by me, and it’s the least I can do for my child.
Besides, not all my memories are bad. In fact, some of them are good, filled with a sense of wonder. Without Tyler my farm would’ve gone under, there’s no doubt about that in my mind. He worked so hard to help me fix up the place, and the heat between us was genuine for sure. Maybe mentally, we weren’t on the same plane, but physically, every day was a shower of sparks, electricity gone wild as my pussy pulsed again and again.
And every day I struggle with whether or not I should tell Tyler. I still haven’t gotten over his betrayal, not by a long shot. After all, I never once suspected that he could possibly be one of those Morgans. Sure, there was more to him than meets the eye, but not once did I think it was this bad.
So should I tell him? It’s his child after all. We parted on terrible terms, and the alpha doesn’t want me anymore, for sure. But a man like Tyler would want to know his child, he would never abandon a son or daughter.
So every day, I struggle here in Colorado. Loving Tyler and missing him, but still feeling hurt and betrayed by his deception. Every night leads to tears just like tonight as the confusion and despair pour out of my eyes slowly.
“Maisie!” I hear from outside my door and rush to dry my eyes before calling for Grace to enter.
“What you doing in here, baby girl?” she asks and I shake my head silently, a lump in my throat. If I speak, the waterworks will start back up, and I don’t want that.
Besides, Grace and I have become close friends during these six months, bound together by our sad circumstances. The older woman is almost like a second mother now, caring and comforting, helping to sustain me in my time of need.
But she doesn’t hold back this time, coming to sit next to me on the bed.
“Oh, Mais. I know you’re pregnant,” she says flat out, putting an arm around my shoulders, and I burst into tears at her acknowledgment.
“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” she repeats over and over while pulling me into her arms as she sits on the edge of my bed.
“You don’t know,” I murmur through the cries.
“Well, tell me,” she suggests.
And I do. I tell Grace everything. From me dropping out of school, to Pa dying, to the threat of foreclosure, and then all about Tyler and our whirlwind romance. She’s smiles knowingly when I describe the incredible attraction between us, and cheers when I describe our small but simple wedding.
But all the happiness seeps from her face once I get to the betrayal. Because Tyler was all lies, and now I’m having his child.
“So he doesn’t know?” she says, voice firm, eyeing my baby bump.
“No, I haven’t spoken to him since I took off,” I say tearfully.
Maisie looks thoughtful.
“This is a long, sad story,” she says slowly. “But I have to ask. Do you still love him, Maisie? After all this, do you still feel for him in your heart?” Her eyes penetrate my soul, and I crumple again, so ashamed.
Because the answer is obvious. Of course I love Tyler. I’ve never stopped loving the enemy, even knowing that he betrayed me. Even after everything, my soul still longs for his.
So I confess my sins, unable to hold back.
“Yes,” the whisper comes, painful and broken. “Yes, I love him still. I know I shouldn’t but I do.”
“Oh sweetheart,” says Grace softly, taking me into her arms. “I’m so sorry, it’s gonna be okay.”
And my tears become full-on sobs then as I collapse into the arms of the older woman.
“I don’t know what to do,” I cry, burying my face into her shoulder.
She pauses for a moment.
“Well, first things first, you’re gonna pack up this little room and get your butt back to Kansas,” she stands and begins to throw my things in the duffle bag.
“Wait. What?” I raise my head in confusion, eyes red and puffy, tear stains on my cheeks. “What? I thought I just told you he betrayed me.”
But Grace can’t be stopped. Like a whirlwind, she goes into the bathroom, throwing toiletries into a plastic bag.
“Wait!” I squeal, my hands trying to stop hers. “Wait, wait, what are you doing?”
Grace turns to me then, expression firm.
“Maisie, you are a pregnant woman. Not just that, but you’re in love with the baby’s father to boot. It does no good to spend any more time in this cramped hotel room. Besides, that farmhouse is yours; it’s what your father wanted, and you can’t just give it up without a fight. Now, get that backpack, I’m taking you to the bus station,” she orders.
“B-but,” comes my stammer. “But what about everything else?”
But Grace won’t be deterred.
“Girl, you’ve been hiding. You were scared and frightened, so it’s okay. But you can’t do this forever. You’ve gotta go back. That farm’s still yours, who says they took it away? Who says that they’ve already sold it? That’s your property, and you can’t give it up just like that.”
Really? I’d been so upset and confused that I left in a whirlwind, not stopping to think things through. When I married, did the property automatically became Tyler’s? But that can’t be true, right? Just because I’m married doesn’t mean he gets it. Or at least we have to split it in two. Right? I shake my head, utterly confused.
But Grace isn’t giving me time to think.
“No ifs, ands, and buts,” she says firmly, zipping up my duffel with a flourish. “You need to show up and settle everything. You can’t hide from your problems forever.”
“But,” I gasp, hands running protectively over my belly. “I can’t! I’m pregnant!”
“You can,” she says firmly, handing me the bag. “Honey, if there’s one thing that I know, it’s that you can’t stay in the dark forever. There’s power by owning your problems, by tackling them head-on. And you’re a strong woman, you’ve run that farm by yourself before. Come on,” she declares, and with that, the front door’s open, the black of outside intimidating and ominous.
I follow dumbly, eyes wide with shock. Because Grace has a point. What am I doing in Colorado? Hiding out, for sure. I couldn’t stay at the farm, not after what happened.
But the Double H is also my birthright. I belong there, the fields are in my blood, the sun, sky, and the land stir my soul. So somehow, some way or another, I’ve got to make it work … and confronting Tyler is the first step.