Buck

––––––––

The last thing I really want to do this evening is go out with Jack, but I know we need to have a talk. Not to mention, I’m definitely gonna need a hell of a lot more to drink in order to stomach the thought of Kota marrying someone other than me.

When I think about my future, it's always had Kota in it, even with her being gone for the past five years. I’ve still held on to a sliver of hope that she’d come back home to me. I may not have recognized her from her physical appearance, but I felt that familiar feeling when she looked at me with those bright blue eyes and showed me her smile. The moment I saw the birthmark on her neck is the exact moment I saw my future coming together.

Then, Jack had to come in and fuck it all up like he's always done. And, of course, Kota had to be a fuckin’ tease like she's always been. Hell, I have never truly had the opportunity to put that little brat in her place, and if she wasn't about to be wedded to another man, I would spank the fuck out of her little round ass and claim her as my own for good. Despite what anyone has to say about it...including Jack.

The thought of spanking Kota sends a throbbing rush to my cock and a heavy ache in my balls. I need to be emptied inside of her. I never had the chance to feel Kota from the inside like I always dreamed of, and the thought consumes me.

We’d had plans for me to take her virginity, and sadly that man wasn't me. I'm sure she's had her fair share of men since all we ever did was fool around a little bit here and there, but it irks me that we never got to experience the full thing together.

Thinking of other men touching her, being with her, thinking of this man who’s asked for her hand in marriage...rage fills my gut, but it doesn’t take away my desire to fuck Kota right into her place so she learns her lesson about being a tease.

I stand in my shower and let the hot water pound against my back. Rubbing the soap all over my body, I pay special attention to my hard dick. I stroke myself as I let my mind wander to the vivid memory of when I was with Kota all those years ago. The spark of electricity I felt with the simple touch of her hands on my skin, the warmth of her wet mouth as it wrapped around my cock, bobbing her head up and down, taking all of me into the back of her throat. I can still hear the soft moans that escaped her as she sucked the soul from my body.

I picture her, here and now, with her tongue swirling around the thick head of my dick again. I see her taking me all in, balls deep, but this time with me being rough with her. Thrusting to the back of her throat as she hangs her head upside down off the bed, as I watch her big breasts bounce up and down while she plays with herself. I won't let her finish, though, because I want her to finish against my mouth and then again all over my cock when I’m fucking her senseless.

My slick sudsy hand travels the length of my shaft and squeezes a little tighter, pumping up and down as I keep playing the scene over and over in my mind, wishing for it to become a reality. I can almost taste her on my lips, and it's that exact thought that makes me explode.

I grunt as I finish stroking myself, milking every last drop of cum from my cock and watching it fall to the shower floor and swirl down the drain. Then, I punch the shower wall in fury, pissed off that Kota’s still got this hold over me and I can't move on.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. Hell, I don’t even know if I want to.

I finish my shower and hurry to get dressed, putting on an old pair of ripped jeans, cowboy boots, and a plaid button-up shirt, topping the outfit off with a light brown cowboy hat.

My phone dings, alerting me of a text message. I look at it and see a notification from Jack telling me he will be ready in a few. I respond by telling him I'll be leaving in about five minutes. All I can do now is cross my fingers and hope to God Kota won't be there when I pick him up.

Or maybe I do want her to be there, so I can put her ass on the spot and get answers out of her.

Why the hell did you even strut your sexy ass through the double doors of my bar? Why the hell were you lookin’ at me like you wanted me to ravage your body right there on that fuckin’ counter? Why the hell weren’t you wearin’ your goddamn ring? And what the fuck were you thinkin’ when you said ‘yes’ to the man that isn’t me?

The questions flood my brain like a dam breaking. I fight to shake them away, desperate to replace every feeling for her with rage.

Shuffling my way out the front door, I make it to my grandad’s old truck named Betty Sue. I inherited her when he passed and she’s the only lady that’s never let me down. Betty Sue is the only damn woman for me.

How I wish that were fuckin’ true...

Racing down the gravel road, I come up to the old tattered sign that reads The Jenkins Farm. I drive down their driveway, pulling up out front, and I’ll be damned if Auntie Rae ain’t waving me to come over to her on the porch swing.

Nobody can tell Auntie Rae no, so I put my truck in park and turn off the ignition, stepping out to make my way over. I wave my hand high and tip my hat at her.

“Hello there, beautiful,” I say with a smile. Pain engulfs my heart, seeing her this frail and sick. I can't imagine a life without her as she's always been there ever since I was a small boy, even before Jack and Kota moved in with them. They were always good friends with my grandparents.

Auntie grins, big and bright, her blue eyes reminding me much of Kota’s, even though it’s Don who’s blood related to her, and that’s when I look up to her window. The one I used to throw rocks at in the middle of the night.

There she stands, her face in the nearly see-through white curtains. Once eye contact is made between us, she turns away, disappearing into the depths of her room.

“What’s botherin’ you, B?” Auntie’s raspy voice pulls me from my daze.

“I’m just tired. It’s been a really long day,” I lie. And from the narrowing of her eyes, I know she can see right through the bullshit, just as she’s always been able to.

“You don’t have to tell me, but don’t you lie to me, Buck. You know better than that. Just be honest and say, ‘Auntie Rae, it ain’t none of your damn business.’” She laughs, and it’s contagious.

“You’re right, Auntie Rae. I’m sorry.” I pause, grinning from ear to ear before I continue. “It ain’t none of your business,” I say with a tip of my hat.

“That’s better, boy. Well, whatever the hell it is...it won’t last long. There are much bigger issues in this world...” A hoarse cough steals her voice, interrupting her, and I wait patiently with concern. “I’m not referring to me, neither. I’ve lived a long, happy life with a full belly and heart. There are a lot of others out there who die long before their time is up, or end up starving and alone.”

She’s right. Auntie Rae is always right. I’ve been blessed enough to have many of her words of wisdom stowed away in my memory bank. I lean forward with my arms open wide and embrace her in a gentle hug, afraid she’ll break if I squeeze even a little.

“Thank you, Auntie Rae. I needed that, I really did.” I kiss her lightly on her soft cool cheek.

“You know you can come over here anytime you need to talk,” she whispers before a hoarse cough takes away her voice again.

Jack comes out of the front door and gives a nod to acknowledge me. “Ready?” he asks with a big dip of tobacco in his bottom lip.

“Been waitin’ on you.”

Jack hugs Auntie Rae goodbye and we head toward Betty Sue. I turn my head back, glancing up at Kota’s window to see if she’s there, and sure enough, she is. My gaze flits back down to Auntie Rae, trying to hide that I was looking up to Kota’s window again, and I give another quick wave goodbye.

Now, I ain’t a rocket scientist, but she sure wasn’t looking out the window to watch the damn corn grow. She was looking out of it because of me, and that pisses me off about the whole situation even more.

She wants me.

I need her.

But we’ll never happen again...