Dusty
THE RIDE BACK TO THE ranch was awful quiet. She was probably kicking herself for getting involved with a big, dumb ox. I know I hurt her feelings. I know I’d like to make it up to her, but it’s probably best that we just let it lie now. When I’m thinking clearly, I’ll approach her about the possible pregnancy. Until then, I need to stay far, far away from the enticing Ms. Ruby Grant.
We don’t belong together. She’s a city girl and I’m a cowboy. We’re nothing alike, and pretending we belong together is a huge mistake, no matter how good the sex is. And damn, is it good.
At supper, she joins us at the table fresh as a daisy in a pretty summer dress. I allow myself one good look before I try to keep my eyes on my plate. She’s so pretty it makes my heart ache.
The sound of eating and conversation around me stops, and I panic that maybe I said that out loud. Everyone is staring at me. “What?” I ask around a forkful of potatoes.
Aunt Charlotte bats my arm. “Don’t talk with your mouth full. I raised you better than that.”
I swallow. “Why is everyone looking at me?”
My ranch hand and good friend Carter shakes his head the same as he did when were kids and I made a fool of myself for Lisa Langston at the eighth-grade dance. “The lady asked you a question.” He tilts his head toward the only lady at our table I’m not related to.
“I’m sorry, Ruby. I didn’t hear you.”
She blinks at me a few times. “I asked what you majored in at college.”
“Business.”
The crew looks around awkwardly as she asks me a few more small talk questions, and I answer with one-word answers and desperately try to avoid her gaze. I’m polite but not overly friendly, and it hasn’t escaped anyone’s notice that something is not quite right.
“Did you two enjoy your ride today?” my aunt asks.
I choke on my water and Carter pounds on my back. Hard. Harder than necessary, I reckon. He’s no dummy. He knows something is up, and he’s gonna give me hell about it later.
“It was my first time, but I think I got the hang of it,” Ruby answers.
I dare a glance at her and find that her expression isn’t angry. She meant that as a private joke between us. Now would be my chance to flirt back harmlessly. But there is nothing harmless about flirting with Ruby. Not anymore. So I look back at my plate and eat my dinner like it’s my second job.
“I’d like to go over some plans with you after supper, Dusty,” Carter says in a tone that means he’s probably also going to kick my ass. And don’t I just deserve that?
“Sure thing, Hoss.”
We help clear the table and clean the kitchen and then Carter and I head out to the barn.
“What’s going on with you and Ruby, asshole?”
Should I tell him the truth? Do I know the truth?
“Nothing. She’s a guest.”
“Bullshit.”
“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“I do. And I’m gonna kick your ass with this foot. What the hell, man? You’re building your empire here. You don’t have time to chase pussy and you sure as hell don’t have time to ruin your reputation by fucking your customers.”
I clench my fist, but don’t hit him. I know when I’m being baited. I don’t need to defend Ruby’s honor because he only said it to make me defend her honor.
“It was just a one-time thing. It’s over now.”
Carter pulls out a few sugar cubes he’d pilfered from the kitchen for Gemini. “Did you bother telling that to Ruby?”
“Ruby is a big girl and she knows what is and what isn’t.”
“Asshole, you best just talk to me before we start sounding like a couple of chicks with me begging you to share your feelings. Just spill.”
I lean against a post and thunk my head against it. “I like her. A lot.” The jerk doesn’t say anything, so I have to keep talking. “She’s funny and smart and beautiful. Sexy as fuck.”
“So what is the problem?”
“She lives in Los Angeles and I live here. She doesn’t know anything about ranch life and I sure as hell ain’t moving to a big city. She wants to be an actress. There’s not a big call for them out here. It’s like Farrah all over again.”
And there it is. The thing I’ve been avoiding thinking about. It’s out there now.
“Ruby is nothing like Farrah.”
Farrah and Carter never got along. None of my friends or family liked her, for that matter. “This isn’t the time to discuss it.”
“You know what? Maybe it is. Farrah was a manipulator and user. She didn’t love anyone but herself and she almost ruined you.”
I blow out a long breath. “She just wanted different things.”
“Yeah. Like coke and diamonds and parties. Is Ruby into any of those things?”
No. “How do I know? We only just met.”
“Fine. If you don’t want her, I’d like to ask her out.”
My blood pressure rises, but I keep my cool. He’s still baiting me. He’s been dating Marissa from the pub for months now. “Suit yourself.”
“Really. Who knows? Maybe she doesn’t even like her city life. Maybe she’d love a chance to settle down here and raise a little family with me. Or one of the other guys. And if not, hopefully I can get a fuck out of it before she goes, right?”
I’ve got him across the barn against a wall with my arm pressing against his throat before I know what I’m doing. “Shut up, Carter.” I let up on his throat. “Don’t push me about this.”
“How do you know she doesn’t belong here if you don’t ask?
“Farrah hated—”
“She’s not like Farrah. Even I know that, and I’ve talked to her just a couple times. Farrah never wanted to settle down in Wyoming. She was never satisfied. Even when she got out, she wasn’t satisfied. She killed herself with those drugs because she couldn’t outrun herself no matter where she went. And she tried to take you down with her.”
I let go of Carter and stroll over to Gemini. “I was careless today. Forgot protection.”
“Jesus Christ, you really are a dumb fuck, ain’t ya?” But he doesn’t push it. Nobody talks much about the fact that Farrah was pregnant with my baby when she died from a heroin overdose. She’d called me that morning. Told me she was pregnant and scared, and I drove to the city to rescue her. Bring her back. Only she was dead when I got there.
“Ruby’s not Farrah.”
“I don’t want to hurt her by pretending we could have a future together.”
She wanted a fling. I gave her one. But that’s all of myself that I have to give.
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