For the last two years, I have watched one of the most important people in my life find herself, and then find love. After that, I started second-guessing everything that I thought I was okay with in life. A relationship was never something I wanted; I was happy to spend my time with bitches like Mandy.
Well, that might be a stretch. I have definitely misjudged her, big fucking time. Watching Izzy and Axel find each other again and overcome so much shit to be together, makes me crave what they have. I want someone to lift me up, someone to go home to, and someone to have children with. I am ready, and for the first time in my life, I have a woman I feel might be worth making those changes for.
I won’t go so far as saying it was love at first sight, but it damn sure was hard on at first sight. That motherfucker doesn’t have selective taste though, so I can’t rely on that alone.
The first time she opened her mouth and started throwing her attitude, is when I knew that she is worth it. She won’t be easy. I know that she’s hesitant to start something and I am willing to bet it isn’t because of someone burning her. When she told me about her sister, and I realized just whom she is connected to, I knew… I knew whatever issues she has are because of that motherfucker.
Simon-fucking-Wagner.
The reason I don’t have Grace by my side anymore is the same fucking reason she doesn’t have her sister. I am man enough to admit that it worries me about what will happen when she finds out about that connection.
Monday morning comes way too fucking soon. I have spent the night hugging the pillow that still smells of my Beauty like a little bitch. Every time the scent of vanilla hits my system, it is like a signal straight to my dick to salute the heavens. Every dream is about her. How her blue eyes spark with fire and lust. How they go wide and lost there when she comes. And how when she forgets to be scared, she gazes at me like she knows I hold all the answers.
Yeah, I am officially hooked.
A clear sign of my distraction is my missing Sway’s presence when I pull up at Corps Security. I am busy picturing Melissa bent over my kitchen counter, but when I look up and see Swag waving like an idiot, the hard on I have been sporting all morning dies a quick death.
What the fuck?
Over the last few years that I have known this man, I have learned he is as unpredictable as they come. But the sight that meets me this morning is like nothing he has ever done before. There he is, standing on the sidewalk wearing those camouflage skintight pants things that chicks wear. The ones that make a man fall all over himself to follow her ass around the world, but on this man, they might scar me for life. If that isn’t enough, the sparkling burgundy shirt hugging his round stomach might get a good laugh. Then, I notice what he is doing.
“Sway? Why are you painting the sidewalk?” I question, looking down into the bucket of golden shining paint, “Is that fucking glitter?”
“Don’t you start with all your alpha hotness, Gregory. Of course, this is glitter! You can’t paint the sidewalk gold without glitter!” He’s serious, bobbing his head left and right, and waving his hands all over the place.
“This is for real? You’re painting the sidewalk fucking gold? Does Axel know about this shit?”
“Of course he does, my king of hotness. Don’t be such a tight ass. Actually, never mind that darlin’, be a tight ass… just let me see it.” He starts laughing like a loon and all I can do is look around and notice the explosion of fucking glitter.
“Sway, my man, you wouldn’t know what to do with me.” He sobers instantly and I kick myself for encouraging him. “Forget I said that. Tell me why you feel the need to throw glitter all over the damn place?”
“Because my hunk of fine, glitter makes everyone happy!” When he starts dancing around his paint bucket, I have to leave. There is only so much Sway that I can handle when he is acting like this. I might joke, but that man is the funniest little shit I have ever met.
“Right. You know who loves glitter?” I question, noticing Coop’s jeep pulling in. “Coop loves glitter. Why don’t you go give him a good morning that will make his day, Sway? I’ll even hold your brush.”
“Ohhh! Yes, right away, Sir Sex-o-lot!” He bends over, grabs a handful of glitter, and runs across the lot as fast as his heels will take him. I can see Coop’s eyes widen when he takes in the man running full speed at him.
At this point, I couldn’t stop laughing if I try. The second Coop steps out of the out of the jeep, Sway attacks, throwing glitter in the air and screaming ‘good morning’. When he leaps into Coop’s arms, I fear I might hurt something, laughing as hard as I am.
“Good morning, asshole!” I yell over at Coop and make my way inside.
“What the hell is going on out there?” Beck asks, stepping up to the front window. When he sees Coop trying to untangle himself from Sway, he throws his head back and his laughter booms through the room, causing Emmy to jump in her seat behind the front desk.
“You are all so immature.” I hear her mumble under her breath.
“Cheer up, Em. It’s only Monday… way too soon for that.”
When I see the look in her eye that clearly screams ‘don’t mess with me’, I make quick work at heading to my office and a mental note to find out what is weighing on her mind.
First thing I need to handle is calling that bastard Derrick. Rounding my desk, I slam my body down and listen to the legs of my chair protest before picking up the phone and dialing a number that I won’t forget. After all, when you call it daily for almost two years, you don’t forget that shit easily.
“Johnson,” he says in an impatient tone.
“Derrick.” My tone is lethal. This jerkoff knows I am not a man to cross.
“C-Cage,” he sputters, clears his throat and tries again, “Cage, how can I help you?”
“First thing you can do is tell me if you just conveniently forgot to mention that Simon and Sofia Wagner have a son, a son that is very much alive?”
“Shit,” he hisses, panic taking over his carefree fake bullshit.
“And by shit, I hope to fuck that means you must have misplaced your fucking brain and common sense? Do you not think that would be something, I don’t know, the person signing your goddamn checks to investigate that bastard should know?” My raised voice must have alerted Axel that shit is going down. Before I can even finish speaking, he is walking in, shutting the door, and taking a seat across from me.
“Look, Cage. Man, I didn’t think it was a big deal. The kid was fine. It sucks about his parents, but he went to the chick’s mom. It was all good.”
The growl that erupts from my throat is feral enough to scare any motherfucker. “That kid has a name, asshole. You better fucking send me full case files. Today. I don’t give a fucking shit if you have to rent a goddamn bike and pedal you ass over here. One hour. I want everything you didn’t fucking share with me a year ago!” Slamming the phone down should give me some satisfaction, but the rage boiling inside me just keeps heating up.
“You want to talk about it?” Axel questions.
“You want to tell me why the hell you’re here when you should be at home with your bride?” Changing the subject seems wise with the amount of anger I’m dealing with.
“You try staying at home when you are attacked every two seconds! That woman is insatiable. Never thought I would need a break, but my dick is tired man.”
“Jesus Christ, jackass. Can you not talk about that shit with me?”
“You asked.” He laughed.
“The fuck I did. I asked why you’re here, not why your dick isn’t working.”
“Right, enough about my wife. Want to tell me now what that was all about?” All the humor leaves his face. I can tell he is worried.
“You know Izzy’s friend, the nurse at Nate’s doctor’s place?”
“Yeah, what about her?” He questions, looking at me as if I did something wrong. “Jesus, tell me you haven’t made her your new plaything.”
“Do not fucking call her a plaything,” I growl at him. His eyes narrow at my tone and I would laugh if I weren’t still heated over the plaything comment.
“Okay. You want to explain that shit? I’ve never seen you two seconds from pissing all over the place to mark your territory.” He lets out a laugh and holds his hands up.
Do I really want to get into this with Axel? Sure, out of the five of us, he would be the one with the experience to tell me what I need to do, but having him know what a whipped bitch I am over one chick I just met is something different.
“Nothing to tell, yet.”
“And ‘yet’ means you took her home with you after the wedding. Let me guess. Spent the weekend together. Decided you want to run off into the fucking sunset and have little dogs that yap at the mailman. Maybe if you’re lucky, find a bowling league that meets every Friday. What the fuck man, this timid shit isn’t like you.”
“Fuck you, asshole!” I chunk an unopened pack of computer paper and laugh when it knocks him in the head. “You deserved that.”
“What the fuck ever. Izzy is going to have your ass for messing with my perfection.” He throws the package back on the desk and gives me one of his silent ‘you better start talking’ looks. Jesus Christ. He’s about to go all Dr. Phil. “What’s going on, G? You’ve been around but silent ever since Nate was born. I know something happened with that motherfucker your sister was married to, but you never wanted to talk. So… now you’re going to.”
“Would you like me to go put my fucking vagina on for this talk?” Sarcasm is dripping from my words. I need to hash this out, but fuck, this is awkward. Not many people know the details on Grace. Well, I should say the ‘after’ Grace. Axel told me over and over to let it go, to live the life Grace would want for me… but I can’t. I need to see Simon brought to justice. He didn’t get the justice I would have chosen, but I’m crying into my milk and cookies that he is rotting in hell either.
“No need to be an asshole, Greg. Just want to know how I can help.” He leans back in the chair, and I can tell he means it. Axel would catch hell from Izzy for not helping me, but more importantly, he is family. And family helps family.
With a deep breath, I let the story out. “Her sister was married to Simon. Didn’t know for sure until this morning, but after that call to Derrick, I sure do. The worst part, I don’t know how she’ll handle it when I tell her I could have stopped him, but I didn’t.” I rest my head forward on my hands and let out a heavy sigh, “I could have stopped him, and she wouldn’t have lost her sister. Holding that shit heavy, Ax.”
After a long period of silence, he speaks and I can tell by his tone that what I just put out there shocks him. “I don’t even know what is the most fucked up part of all that. The fact that there is this messed up connection between the two of you or that you actually blame yourself for that shit that happened. You know just as well as I do that there wasn’t anything you could have done to that bastard. You didn’t have any proof, Greg. Nothing. You can’t keep blaming yourself for something that you couldn’t control.”
“The hell I couldn’t! I could have taken his ass out a long time ago, and you know it.”
“And what? Spent the next lifetime locked up? You know Grace wouldn’t have wanted that life for you, Greg. You know she would want you to be happy.” His eyes have that look that he used to give Izzy when she would go back into herself. The look she got when she remembered that I almost died to save her. The same thing I should have been able to do for Grace and Sofia. I hate being on the receiving end of that look.
“How am I supposed to tell her that I not only know who her nephew’s father is, but that I tried and failed to find something to put him away before he fucked up another woman?” Frustration doesn’t even come close to how I feel right now. I know that what I’ve found with Melissa is worth exploring, and I will be damned if I let Simon fuck with that from the grave.
“Don’t tell her right away, man. You just met, and if you are serious about her and this relationship, you need to find out if it’s worth it. Because you know that no matter how you lay that out there, she isn’t going to take it well. She needs to know you first. But, don’t let this sit too long, Greg; it’ll be worse and it might not be fixable.”
“I hear you, but I don’t like the idea of starting something new on a foundation that isn’t solid.” I lean back in my chair and look him in the eye. “I feel it Ax, that connection that you can’t ignore. And I want it.”
His eyes widen slightly, but before he can speak, we hear a commotion coming from the front.
“What the hell happened to you?” We hear a bellow from the front of the office, followed by Coop’s cackles down the hall.
“Shut up!” Maddox’s lethal tone cuts him silent.
The sight that greets Axel and me when we reach the lobby is one that has me struggling with my own laughter.
There stands Maddox Locke, all six-foot-four inches of pissed off and rumpled man. The best part is the gold paint and glitter covers every inch of his body from his hair to his boots.
“You look ridiculous,” I laugh, unable to control it.
“Did you tell Mr. Happiness next door to make a golden brick road out there?” He starts walking over to me and I notice his slight limp, which sobers my humor instantly.
“You okay?” He doesn’t miss my question but ignores me and stalks off to the back of the office.
Looking over at Axel, he catches my concern and takes off to make sure everything is okay with Maddox. It might be funny, but in all seriousness, we all worry about him. Looking over at Coop to make sure he is keeping his shit in check, I find him following Axel into the back.
“Em babe, where is Beck?” She looks up and I can’t help but notice the pain in her eyes. “Em? What’s going on?”
“Nothing, Greg. I’m fine. Beck left about five minutes before Maddox got here. He was going to check on some cases,” she says. She clears her throat and her eyes are begging me to stop, pleading with me to not ask any more questions.
“Emmy. You know my history and you know I am here for you, so please tell me what has taken your smile.” The guys take great pleasure in making fun of how much I father these girls, but when it comes down to it, I can’t stomach the thought that someone is hurting them. I made a vow to myself a few years after I lost Grace, after too many years of careless and reckless abandon, that I would never let anything happen to another woman in my life.
“It really is nothing. Okay?” She sighs, “Let’s just say it was made painfully clear that I will never be what he wants.” She doesn’t need to say more for me to know that the he is the one and only Maddox Locke. Poor girl has had it bad for him for too long.
“Emmy, you do know it isn’t anything about you, right?” I round the desk and kneel in front of her, spinning the chair so that I can look her in the eye. “Sometimes there is nothing you can do, no matter how pure your heart is, to clear the darkness from someone’s past. He’s got some shit that would even dim your light, babe. Leave it and just be there for him if he asks, yeah?” It doesn’t sit well with me that this sweet and innocent woman has her sights set on Maddox, the one we have dubbed ‘the dark one’ for years.
“I understand, Greg. It’s just not easy.” Watching the single tear fall from her golden eye is a killer. Slowly over the months, she has gone from smiling freely and shyly to being as stoic as Maddox.
“Nothing worth having ever is, babe.” When my own words smack me in the face I realize that to make things happen with Melissa, I’m going to need to eat those words.