After her quick call, she puts her phone away and is asleep in seconds. It isn’t long after that when her head hits my shoulder and her arms curl around my arm. Hell, she can pull the damn limb off if it makes her feel better.
When I pulled up at the pediatrician’s office and saw her sitting on the curb bleeding, I almost lost my damn mind. I’m no stranger to the feeling of overwhelming protectiveness. But I have never felt it this powerfully. Never has every inch of my body turned to stone-cold fury in seconds. There is no doubt in my mind after that; she is mine. And judging by how quickly her body turned to mine in her sleep, she knows this too. Her mind just hasn’t caught up with her heart and body.
I wave at Stan as we drive through the gate. Taking the long ride through the neighborhood gives me a few extra minutes with her resting against my body. It gives me time to enjoy her unguarded trust a little longer.
When we pull up at my house, she still doesn’t stir. I turn off the truck and unfold my body before making my way to her side. I stand there for a few minutes just taking her all in. Running my fingers lightly across the bandage on her arm brings it all home, and the vice on my heart gives a tight squeeze. I caused this. Maybe not directly, but in my mind, it’s the same thing and it is killing me.
“Beauty,” I murmur, stroking her hair lightly. Her eyes flutter a few times before meeting mine. “Come on, let’s get inside, and lay down?” It’s early, not even close to dinnertime, but if laying down makes her feel better, safer, then that’s fine with me.
“I’m okay; just needed a little power snooze.” Her voice is husky with sleep, causing me to fight with myself to keep my lust at bay.
“Alright, well let’s get settled and you can fill me in on the details, yeah?”
“Sure thing, baby.” I know she just woke up, and most likely doesn’t even realize she said that, but that word goes straight to my heart. Zaps right through and causes it to fill with so much elation. I should be worried; after all, the woman has the power to level my world.
We make our way inside and settle. Sitting down on the couch, I don’t even give her time to consider sitting somewhere else in the room, I grab her hand and pull her onto my lap. My arms enclose around her and I let out a low, relieved breath.
“Fill me in, babe?”
She looks into my eyes for a few minutes, for what I’m not sure, but she must have found it because she begins her story. Not easy to hear, but damn I’m proud of her for sticking up for herself. When she stops talking, I can’t even speak. I have to keep myself still to control the fury and the need to do something.
“You didn’t press charges? Please tell me, Melissa, that I heard you wrong there?” She looks up into my eyes, slightly confused at my tone. “Not angry with you baby. Just trying to figure out why you wouldn’t press charges against her.”
“I just want her gone. I don’t know her, and I know you and her had your thing, but this is a little too much.”
The hand that has been lightly stroking her thigh stills. “And you’re going to let this shit come between us?”
“I didn’t say that. What I said was it’s too much. I lost my job because of her, Greg. My job and my family’s income, all gone because of your fuck buddy.”
“Baby, I get that this is some heavy shit but you need to understand that I wasn’t a saint before I met you. I wasn’t perfect, not even close, but that shit with Mandy ended when we started. Not that there was much to end, but I made it clear to her at the wedding that we were finished. I made it clear again, when she showed up at the gate throwing more shit. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind but I’ll find out. I don’t want you to worry about her.”
“I believe you. I do, but that doesn’t change the fact that I lost a lot more today than just some skin on my arm.” I flinch at the reminder of just how dangerous this situation was today.
“Let me take care of it, baby.”
“How are you going to take care of this?” Her brow furrows, and confusion mixed with disbelief flashes in her eyes.
“First, you’re going to let me deal with Mandy but I still want a restraining order on her. Second, I know some people around town. I just did a security install for a general practitioners office right down the street. Just let me call and see if he’s hiring. Third, let me in. Just let me in, Beauty.
The silence around us while she takes in my words is heavy. She doesn’t want to let me in. I know this, but that doesn’t mean that I will stop until she at least lets me have the chance to prove to her I deserve it.
“Meli, baby,” I sigh. “Trust me when I tell you that I have lived a life that makes me know when something is worth fighting for. I took one look at you and knew you were worth it to me. It’s new, I get that, but I know you feel it too.”
“I feel it,” she whispers. “I feel it and it terrifies me.”
“Why? What has you scared, baby? Tell me so I can help.”
“You don’t understand. When I lost Fia, something inside me changed. I have always been the guarded one in the family. Mom is amazing but she is weak. Fia was the same way. They let men walk all over them and I always said I wouldn’t be like that. I wouldn’t need a man. My dad, piece of shit. What I do remember isn’t pretty and I watched my sister relive that nightmare with no hopes of helping her. For years, I have had fun but never let a man in. Greg, you have the power to not only get in but to destroy me if you ever want back out.”
“I can’t make you promises, Beauty. I can’t sit here and tell you that I’m worth letting those walls down for. But, I can tell you that if the way I feel for you now keeps growing, there isn’t an army strong enough to pull me out. Spent too long wanting someone worth it and as crazy as it sounds? One look baby… it took one look that even being covered in Nate’s vomit couldn’t dim how bright that beauty knocked me down.”
She laughs softly but still looks at me as if she is worried I might vanish with her next breath. “I want to be there. There’s just so much going on. Now this, us, and everything else that’s flying around out of control. I don’t know how to just let go.”
“Let me in,” I stress again.
“I—I don’t know how.” It’s like watching a caged animal try to escape. I can tell she wants to, she wants to let me in so bad, but she really doesn’t know how.
“You don’t have to be strong all the time. Let me take it, Beauty. Let me be your rock. Let ME fight. For Christ sake, let me be who you need.”
Each word out of my mouth has her eyes widening. Hell, I don’t even know where that all came from but I need her to understand. I need her to get on the same page as I am before I am the one losing myself in someone who doesn’t want me.
“My mom has custody of Cohen, Fia’s son, but that is only because with all the hours I work it isn’t possible for me to have him. I spend as much time as I can with him, but that still isn’t enough. Mom’s old but can still get around. She doesn’t work, because, well…she’s old. And even though she can get around, that doesn’t mean she does it without difficulties. My check pays for everything, which is why I live in a shit-hole apartment in the middle of the hood. Cohen and his wellbeing get it all. Do not think that is a complaint. I would give everything for that kid.” She pauses and looks into my eyes for a few seconds before looking back at my hand resting on her leg. I give her a light squeeze and she continues, “Simon, Fia’s ex, was a real douche. Already told you about him, but even though he is gone, I still feel like he is fucking with my family. His mom, Susan, has been coming around for the last year trying to get Cohen. She tried to go the legal route, but there was no judge in the world that would give her custody or even visiting rights. Bad, the worst kind of human being.”
I am well informed about Susan Wagner. But I’m not letting her know about that right now. She is just letting me in, starting to let her walls down and trust me. No way am I messing with that right now.
“So, anyway. She’s been causing some drama. Calling, sending letters, and coming around. She’s harmless but annoying, and it scares Cohen. That is what I’ve been dealing with since Sunday. Trying to keep my mom calm and Cohen clueless.”
“You think she will be trouble?” I question.
“No. I mean, yes for now, but I think she just misses her son, or I should say the idea of her son. She doesn’t want Cohen; she just doesn’t want us to have him.”
“Seems reasonable baby, but I don’t like you dealing with that alone.”
“I’m not alone,” she says with small smile tips up her lips.
“No, Beauty…you definitely are not.”
We have been sitting here for a while just silently taking each other in when her voice breaks the stillness. “Tell me about Grace.”
“Trying to change the subject?” I laugh but I really am just happy she wants to know more about me.
“I just want to know you, all of you, even that beast you only seem to throw around toward me.” She smiles and leans her head on my shoulder.
“Grace was amazing. We were best friends and each other’s shadow our whole lives. She didn’t take it well when I enlisted but she knew it was what I wanted. Our dad was a career Marine and I knew before I could walk that that’s what I would do. He was the bravest man we knew until we lost him. She knew what it meant to carry on his memory. We talked as often as we could but that still wasn’t enough. I met her boyfriend once when I was home on leave and didn’t like the bastard. Told her, but she was in love so there wasn’t anything I could say. That was the only time we disagreed about anything. She married him shortly after I left. Twenty years old and ready to follow him around the world if he asked.” I take a deep breath and think back to her beautiful smile and her violet eyes. “You would have loved her. She was a lot like Dee, always happy. You know how I got the call. Needless to say, I didn’t take that shit well. I went off the deep end. The second I could get out, I left the Marines and the only dream I’ve ever had behind and disappeared. Axel and the boys, hell my own mother, no one knew where I was for almost two years. Met a guy on the road who helped me sort my shit, came back home, and started my own company. The rest, as they say, is history.”
“It gets better? Losing the other part of you?” She asks. I know what she means. Grace was the other part of my soul and I’m guessing her sister was hers.
“Yeah baby, it gets better. Never easy, but it gets better.”
“That’s good. I don’t want to hurt anymore,” she whispers.
“With me around, I’ll do my best to make sure you never do.” She pulls her head off my shoulder, shifts lightly, and brings her hands up to cup my face before dropping her forehead against mine.
“You’re a good man, Greg Cage. You give me some time, and I might just fall in love with you.”
“That’s the plan, Beauty.” I whisper and take her lips, delivering the message that I hope shows her how much I want to be worthy that love.