“Zef! ZEF!”
I woke with a start.
“What?”
“I think he’s coming?”
“Who’s coming?”
“Peanut, you idiot! Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!”
Sara let out a yell so loud that she nearly perforated an eardrum. Socrates started squawking and flapping around, woken from a deep sleep and dreams of . . . sunflower seeds?
I leapt out of bed, butt naked, and headed for the door.
“Put some . . . [huff] . . . clothes on, you . . . [huff] douche!”
Did she just call me a douche?
I turned around and grabbed a pair of jeans, toed on my boots and yanked a sweater over my head.
“Ready!”
I grabbed her enormous suitcase that was by the door . . . and stopped.
“Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!”
I’d forgotten that Luke and Zach were in San Francisco, and for the last week I’d been driving a rental car. The keys were in the pocket of my leather jacket.
I spun around, grabbed the jacket from the pile, ran out the door, and slung the suitcase in the trunk of the car. Ready.
Oh shit! Not ready.
“Sara!”
“I’m coming, you dickhead! You nearly left me behind!”
Now I was a dickhead?
I got her situated in the car and peeled out of there.
“Slow down!” she screamed. “Ow! OW! OWWWW!”
I didn’t know if it was my wild driving across the uneven gravel, or the contractions that were making her yell, but she was l-o-u-d.
We hit the main road and she screamed again.
“Oh my God! Can you drive any slower? My Granny drives faster than you!”
I glanced at the speedometer and watched the dial creeping toward 100mph. I put my foot down, hoping there were no coyotes or bobcats out for a stroll tonight because I had no plans to stop until I reached the hospital.
“Slow down, you maniac!” she screeched. “Do you want to kill us?”
I slowed to 95mph, sweat beading on my forehead in the cool January air.
She shrieked again, hands gripping her stomach, and I winced in sympathy.
It was the longest ten minutes of my life, and when I spun into the space reserved for ambulances at the front of the hospital, I had sweat dripping in my eyes and my heart was beating so fast, I thought I’d have a heart attack. But at least I was in the right place.
A security guard came striding over, but when he saw Sara stumbling out of the passenger door, he about-faced and jogged through the entrance, returning with a nurse in pale pink scrubs pushing a wheelchair.
Her kind, calm voice soothed Sara immediately, and she collapsed into the wheelchair, her face pale and her eyes terrified.
I was about to follow them inside when the security guard made me go and put the car in the parking lot.
It gave me a minute to gather my thoughts. I sent a quick text to Kes in case he’d seen us racing away from the house and asked him to feed Socrates in the morning. I decided not to bother the rest of the guys until I had news. They’d all asked me to let them know as soon as Sara went into labor. Even her father. Everyone said that first babies could take their time arriving, although Dove had been in a hurry.
My new sense of calm shattered when I heard Sara’s screams echoing down the quiet corridors. It shut off so suddenly, the hairs rose on the back of my neck. But then I heard her sobbing cry and moved faster.
I was intercepted by a different nurse, and shown into a room where I could change into scrubs.
“Just be calm and hold her hand. Do whatever she wants, but stay calm, okay?”
I jumped motorcycles for a living—of course I could stay calm.
Sara screamed again and I nearly leapt out of my skin.
The nurse gave me an encouraging smile and led me into the birthing suite.
Sara was still yelling, her face turning purple, and I wondered if Peanut would have the same set as lungs as his mother—I could be in trouble.
When she saw me, she reached out for my hand, nearly twisting it off at the wrist as she gripped it. I grimaced as her nails sank in, but remembered what the nurse said.
“Stay calm, Sara. You’ll be fine.”
“Oh shut the fuck up, Zef! What the fuck do you know about it? You’re not the one whose vagina is trying to pass a baby! Aaaaaaaaaagh! I am never ever having sex again. You got that? NEVER! Aaaaaaaaagh!”
“They all say that,” the nurse said sympathetically. “Don’t worry about it.”
But I did worry. Sara looked so mad, I was afraid that she’d bite my dick off if I waved it anywhere near her again. I liked my dick. We’d had a lot of good times together. In any case, my balls had shriveled to the size of walnuts, and I definitely wasn’t thinking about sex while Sara swore and cussed like a twenty-year Marine veteran.
I was pretty fuckin’ sure that she hadn’t heard me use half the words that were coming out of her mouth.
But the nurse didn’t seem shocked. I guess she’d heard it all before, although I doubt she’d ever heard worse.
But as the hours passed, Sara’s cries grew weaker and her grip on my hand was looser. Her hair was dark with sweat and her cheeks were streaked with tears.
Kes and Aimee had showed up at the hospital with a sleeping Dove, and spotted me for five minutes so I could take a piss and drink a coffee. I couldn’t eat anything because fear was climbing around in my stomach like I’d swallowed a live rat, claws, teeth and tail.
The nurses changed shift and a new doctor came in to ‘review the case’, his forehead creasing as he read her charts.
“Is this normal?” I asked desperately.
He gave me a professional smile. “Every birth is different, Mr. Colton.”
Which meant exactly fuck all.
Kes and Aimee left again, promising to let everyone know what was happening. I was relieved not to have to make those calls, because I had no fuckin’ clue what I’d say.
“You’re going to be okay, baby mama,” I said, wiping her hair from a face that felt clammy and feverish.
Her tired eyes were dull as they turned to mine and she couldn’t even muster a smile.
“Zef . . .”
“Yeah, baby,” I whispered, matching my voice to hers.
“You’ll look after Peanut, won’t you?”
“Of course I will. What are you talking about?”
“I’m so tired,” she sighed. “If anything happens to me, you’ll take care of him. Promise me?”
I swallowed the rock in my throat.
“Nothing’s going to happen to you, Sara.”
“Promise me!” she insisted, pressing my fingers as tightly as she could.
“I promise, Sara. I promise. But you’re going to be fine.”
Suddenly, one of the monitors that she was attached to went wild, beeping loudly.
Two nurses rushed in, pushing me out of the way.
“What’s going on?”
“BP’s down to 81/50.”
“What’s going on?” I shouted.
“The baby’s in distress,” said the other nurse. “Get Dr. Ives in here.”
“Please wait outside, sir.”
“But . . .”
“Please, sir!”
“Zef! ZEF!”
They hurried me out as Sara called my name over and over desperately. My heart cracked as I pressed my hand against the closed door, trying to see what was happening through the tiny window.
Minutes passed as they worked on her, and then suddenly the door flew open and they rushed by me. They were running as they pushed Sara on a hospital bed. Her face was lifeless and her eyes were closed. Blood seeped from beneath the blanket covering her.
“Sara!” I choked out.
She didn’t answer and no one spoke to me.
I followed behind them, unable to understand the medical jargon they were spouting, knowing only that something was wrong.
“What’s happening?”
“We’ve got to take the baby now,” said the doctor to one of the nurses, his attention focused on Sara.
“What’s happening?” I yelled, feeling as if I’d become invisible.
Outside the operating room, I was stopped by one of the nurses.
“You have to wait here, sir. We’ll tell you when there’s news. Let us do our jobs.”
The door swung shut, and Sara was on the other side.
Numb, I slumped into one of the hard plastic chairs.
Another nurse rushed past carrying packets of blood. No one spoke to me.
I don’t know when he arrived, but I looked up to see Kes sitting in the next chair.
“What if she doesn’t make it?” I asked, but he had no answer.
Emotion dammed for too long finally burst through. I put my head in my hands and cried.