Jennifer was once Oceanside High’s head cheerleader and all-around bubbly blonde bimbo. Now fifty and divorced with two adult children, she was reduced to being my ditzy blonde neighbor, sounding board, and best friend.

Short, and golden bronze from baking in the Southern California sun, her athletic size four frame and D-cup boobs attracted the immediate attention of most men. Hair color and Botox treatments masked her age, and she could easily pass for being in her late thirties. When she talked with me about sex, she acted like she was still seventeen.

She leaned against the edge of my kitchen table, holding her coffee at arm’s length. Her hands encompassed the cup like she was presenting me with a peace offering.

She blinked a few times, and then looked at me with dreamy eyes. “Like Dwayne Johnson?”

I peered over the top of my cup and gave her a confused look. “Who?”

The corners of her mouth turned upward. “Dwayne Johnson.”

“I have no idea who that is.”

“Dwayne Johnson,” she cooed. “The Rock.”

“The big bald-headed guy?”

She drew a long breath through her nose, and then exhaled softly. “Uh huh.”

If there was ever a woman who lived vicariously through others, it was Jennifer. Our conversations were often about men, and included detailed explanations of how she’d behave with them if she was given half a chance.

“No,” I said. “Not even close. More like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Only taller.”

“Oh.” She wrinkled her nose. “That’s not big.”

“He was big,” I assured her. “He had a presence about him, too.”

She gave me a side-eyed look. “If he was skinny like Brad Pitt, he wasn’t big. I think this big thing was all in your head. You were drooling because he kicked Marvin’s ass.”

“I’m not you. I don’t need a man in my life. He was big, and he was kind. Those are the facts. There was no drooling going on.”

“Your senses were distorted.” She shrugged. “It happens to the best of us.”

“My senses were just fine.”

She pushed her coffee aside and leaned over the edge of the table. A serious look washed over her. “I screwed the quarterback of the football team at a house party when I was in high school. On Monday, when I was bragging about it in gym class, I compared his cock to my wrist. Half the girls I was talking to gasped, and said, ‘You must have fucked a different Jeff Simmons than the one I fucked, because that Jeff Simmons has a dick the size of a grape.’”

My eyes narrowed. “A grape?”

“A big grape.”

I chuckled. “And you thought he had a monster cock?”

“I was sure of it.”

I gave her a look. “Where are you going with this?”

“When I had sex with him, I was drunk. He was handsome, and the quarterback of the football team. So, in my mind, he was hung. In reality, he wasn’t. I think you’re wanting this guy to be some oversized muscle-bound hero. But, if he’s built like Brad Pitt, he’s a skinny twit.”

The biker wasn’t skinny, and he wasn’t a twit. To satisfy her, and to end the lop-sided conversation, I reluctantly agreed.

“Fine,” I huffed. “He was a skinny twit.”

“He sounds like a douchebag, too. What’d you say his name was?” She giggled. “Dolla Bill?”

I sighed dramatically. “Cash.”

She burst out in laughter. “Oh, that’s right. I knew it was something like Dolla Bill or Mista Money. But, Cash. Really? That’s ridiculous. He’s a wannabe. Probably uses the bike to get laid.”

I forced a sigh. “He’s wasn’t a wannabe.”

“He said his name was Cash.” Her eyebrows raised. “He’s a wannabe.”

“Maybe it was his last name.”

“Maybe he wanted you to think he was cool.” She waved her hand toward the front door. “Is he one of those guys that’s always riding up and down the street at midnight?”

“I think so.”

“They’re young.” One of her Botox-injected eyebrows arched a little. “How old was he?”

I’d wondered the same thing. With the scruff on his face, it was hard to tell for sure. By my estimation, he was in his latter twenties, or early thirties. Either way, he was far too young to be interested in me. That much I knew.

“I don’t know. Maybe thirty.”

She smiled. “A youngster.”

I shrugged one shoulder. “Kind of.”

“Young and skinny,” she said. “Not my type. I prefer the bulging biceps, wide chests, and swollen traps of gym rats.”

Her ex-husband was her height and weighed close to three hundred pounds. The only muscles he had were what he’d developed from simultaneously shoveling 7-Eleven’s chicken wings and chimichangas into his mouth.

I scoffed. “Frank wasn’t a body builder by any means.”

“That’s why I had to drink three glasses of wine and take a Xanax before we had sex.” She tapped the tip of her index finger against her temple. “In my mind, he was a gym rat.”

I finished my coffee and stood. “Back to what I was saying. It’s really bothering me that I didn’t get a chance to thank this guy. I think I said, ‘thank you’, but I can’t really remember. Everything happened so fast, and then the cops were here.”

She shrugged. “He might be one of those guys that’s always riding down the street at midnight. Maybe you’ll get a chance.”

I rinsed my cup and put it in the dishwasher. “I doubt it.”

The sound of an approaching motorcycle caused me to shift my attention to the street. I filled with nervous hope as the sound grew louder. The rumble from a Harley’s exhaust was something I’d become accustomed to over the years, as a group of bikers were constantly zooming up and down the block. I wondered, however, if each approaching bike would now bring butterflies to my stomach and a tingling in my nether region.

My eyes went wide as the black Harley came into view, and then pulled into the drive.

“Jesus,” Jennifer said. “It sounds like we’re being invaded.”

“He’s uhhm.” I wagged my finger toward the window. “He just pulled in.”

“Who?”

I swallowed heavily, wondering what caused him to stop by on a Saturday morning at nine thirty.

“The skinny twit,” I responded.

She rushed to my side just in time to see him remove his helmet. Dressed in dark jeans, boots, and a faded black shirt that said Cars Suck across the chest, he looked every bit the part of the biker that he undoubtedly was.

He set the helmet on his seat and sauntered up the driveway.

Jennifer flattened her chest against the counter top and peered over the window ledge. “He’s not skinny.”

“No,” I admired his confident strut. “He’s sure not.”

“He’s uhhm.” She swallowed and then let out a breath. “He’s sexy as fuck.”

He sure is.

As he disappeared from our field of view, she gave me a curious look. Then, the doorbell rang.

She flipped her blonde curls over her shoulder and tugged her shorts out of her twat. “Let him in.”

I gestured toward the door with my eyes. “Go home.”

She coughed. “I don’t think so.”

“Go. Home.”

“Go to hell,” she said.

I brushed past her. “Fine, but you’re going to be quiet.”

“You won’t even know I’m here.”

I pulled the door open and smiled. “Good morning.”

I felt Jennifer’s breath against my left arm. I wanted to swat her like a picnic fly but feared pushing her onto the floor might appear juvenile. As Cash pushed his hand into the pocket of his jeans, I took a step to my left and nudged her from his view.

“I wanted to make sure everything was alright.” He wrung his hands together. “Didn’t get to see you after the cops got here.”

“I’m just fine, thank you. The police were here until four in the morning asking questions and having me sign reports. It was a long night.”

“I filled out a report, too,” he said. “They’ll probably see if our stories jive with one another.”

The sound of Jennifer’s heavy breathing reminded me that she was still present. I stepped to the side and wedged her between my hip and the side of the console table.

I looked at Cash and widened my eyes. “You can come in, if you’d like to.”

He stepped inside, glanced at her, and then looked at me.

“That’s Jennifer. She was leaving.” I shot her a look. “Say ‘hi’ before you go, Jennifer.”

She darted around me and extended her arm. “I like your shirt.”

His shirt?

Really?

He grinned and shook her hand. “Thanks.”

I gestured toward the front door with my left hand. “Goodbye, Jennifer.” I tilted my head toward the living room and offered Cash a smile. “Come on in.”

With the speed of a rabbit on crack, Jennifer slammed the front door, shot into the living room, and came to a screeching halt on the end of the couch.

Cash stepped into the room and gave it a precursory look. Jennifer forced a fake yawn and arched her back, heaving her massive boobs toward the ceiling in the process. Mentally, I rolled my eyes at her theatrics. The only way Cash wouldn’t see her melon-sized mammaries was if he was blind.

For whatever reason, however, he didn’t seem to notice.

Cash – 1, Jennifer – 0.

I gave her a quick laser-sharp glare. She crossed her tanned legs, flashed me a grin, and then looked at Cash.

“Do you live down at the end of the block?” she asked.

He sat in the chair at the corner of the room. “No. One of the fellas I ride with lives down there.”

“When I hear you guys ride by, it reminds me of that show on Netflix,” she said. “I’ve watched every episode. I’ve always been partial to motorcycles and muscles.”

Jennifer was flirtatious and outgoing, but she was acting ridiculous. For the last four years, all she’d done was complain about the late-night window rattling caused by the neighbor’s loud exhaust. I sat at the opposite end of the couch from her and clenched my jaw tight to keep from calling her out on her fictitious claims of biker love.

“Paints a pretty fucked up picture of us if you ask me,” he said dryly. “Bikers aren’t really like that.”

“I think the ones that ride in clubs are,” she said. “The hard-core bikers.”

He glared at her. “Hard core?” He chuckled. “I’ve ridden a motorcycle every day for the last ten years. Our club rode from here to Connecticut last year. We ate gas station burritos and slept beside our bikes in rest stop parking lots, using our jackets for pillows. Six thousand miles in four weeks. We make trips like that a couple of times a year. How’s that for hard-core?”

Cash – 2. Jennifer – 0.

Riding across the country and using an asphalt parking lot for a bed sounded hard-core to me. My eyes shot to Jennifer, curious to see how she would crawl out of the hole she’d managed to dig.

“Hollywood always glamorizes the violence. It doesn’t surprise me that the show’s a farce.” She tossed her hair and gave him a semi-serious look. “If it bleeds, it sells, right?”

“I guess so,” he said dismissively.

“So, you ride in a club?” I asked.

He cupped his left hand over his clenched fist and nodded. “A small one.”

I studied him, wondering what he’d look like without the scruff on his jaw. The entire beard thing looked good while he was whipping my ex-husband’s ass, but the longer I looked at it, the more I wanted it to disappear.

Millennials with untrimmed facial hair that hung down to their chest ruined my desire to see a man use a beard as anything other than proof that he had a long, tiring weekend.

“Maybe the bigger clubs do things differently,” Jennifer said. “You know, like the Hells Angels.”

“If you say so,” he said dryly.

He brushed his hair to the side and looked right at me. “What?”

“Huh?” I muttered.

His eyes narrowed. “You were staring at me. Something wrong?”

“I was just…” I shook my head. “Never mind. It’s nothing.”

“You can’t start explaining something and then say, ‘it’s nothing’.” He cocked one eyebrow. What?”

“It’s nothing.”

He lowered his chin and raised both eyebrows.

I sighed. “Is the beard a permanent part of who you are?”

He stroked his jaw with the thumb and forefinger of his right hand. “I don’t have a beard.”

I pointed toward the hall bath. “You might want to go look in the mirror.”

“It’s not a beard.” He rubbed the sides of his face with the palms of his hands. “I just. I haven’t shaved in a while.”

“Is it common for you to go a month or so without shaving?”

“I think it’s sexy,” Jennifer chimed.

I shot her a quick glare.

“Depends on what I’ve got going on,” he said. “I’ll shave when I get time.”

“So, you’ve been too busy to shave? That’s your answer?”

“I’ve been saving barefoot women from being raped, and then checking up on them to make sure they’re doing alright.” He crossed his arms over his chest and grinned a smug smile. “Yeah. Been pretty fuckin’ busy.”

I’d become used to Jennifer’s in-your-face wit. Seeing his dry sense of humor was a nice change. Before I could devise a comeback, he continued.

He nodded toward me feet, which were bare. “You ever find your shoes?”

“They were beside the porch.”

He glanced at Jennifer. “She your little sister?”

“No, She’s my neighbor.” I shifted my eyes from him to her. “She lives across the street but spends most of her time here.” I looked at him. “We’re friends.”

“Sometimes I wonder,” she whispered in a snide tone.

He motioned toward the hallway with his eyes. “You mind if I use your bathroom?”

“Not at all.” I pointed toward the hall bath. “It’s right there.”

He stood, and then gave a nod to each of us before disappearing into the bathroom. As soon as the door latch clicked, Jennifer turned toward me and widened her eyes.

“He’s a-fucking-mazing. Holy shit, girl. He’s…” She shook her head while she exhaled through her teeth. “Sexy as fuck.”

“Not a skinny twit?” I whispered.

“Not at all.” Her eyes darted toward the bathroom and then shot back to me. “Did you see his boots?”

“I did, but I didn’t look at them. Why?”

“They’re like, three feet long,” she whispered.

I grinned. “Probably doesn’t have a cock like a grape.”

“I bet he’s got a dick like a donkey.” She took another look toward the bathroom. “You should fuck him and then tell me about it.”

“He’s probably fifteen years younger than me.”

“Age doesn’t matter. Bikers love MILFs.”

I wondered if she learned that tidbit of information on Netflix. I shrugged, knowing there wasn’t much I could do to interest him in me, regardless.

“I’m not a mother,” I said.

“You look like a MILF. And, he didn’t come here to check on you,” she said. “He came here to fuck.”

The thought was laughable. “No, he didn’t.”

The bathroom door opened. He walked into the center of the room, checked his watch, and then looked at me.

“I need to get going.”

I realized that I’d clung to the belief that Jennifer was right, and hoped he was going to stay for a while. Feeling a little disappointed, I stood. “Okay.”

He glanced at his watch again, and then shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. After rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet for a moment, his lips parted slightly.

“You want to go out tonight?” he asked. “Maybe get something to eat?”

I nearly fainted.

“With you?”

His brows knitted together. “Who else would it be with?”

My mouth curled into a guilty smile. “How old are you?”

His chin lifted slightly, as if he was proud of his intended response. “Thirty-one.”

I tilted my head to the side and widened my eyes playfully. “I’m forty-four.”

He pulled his right hand from his pocket and presented his empty palm. “If I had a cookie, I’d give you one. But, I’m fresh out.”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

His eyes thinned a little. “To be cookie-less?”

“No, smart-ass. That I’m thirteen years older than you.”

“I don’t give a fuck how old you are,” he said. “I like feisty women. You stomped your ex’s nuts in the driveway. That’s pretty feisty in my book.”

I scrunched my nose. “You want to take me out because I stomped Marvin’s nuts?”

“Yeah. There’s other reasons, too.”

I cocked my hip and flashed a slight smile. “Like what?”

“You’ve got the second nicest ass I’ve ever seen.”

“Who had the first?” I snapped back.

He chuckled. “Some chick in fourth grade.”

I was playing second fiddle to a fourth-grader with an award-winning ass. I didn’t know if it was meant to be a compliment, but I took it as one. His delivery of it brought out the devil in his eyes.

Seeing it secured the dinner date. I simply needed to know how to dress. My eyes widened in wonder. “Would we go on the bike?”

“Yep.”

“Because cars suck?”

“Yep.”

“I’d love to,” I said with a nod of reassurance.

“Seven sound good?”

I fought to keep from smiling. “Sounds great.”

“Alright, then.” He looked at Jennifer. “Nice to meet you.”

He gave me a quick study, grinned, and turned away. After taking a step toward the door, he paused and glanced over his shoulder. “Almost forgot. You’ve got cool hair, too. That was the other thing.”

Then, he left without another word.

It was ten o’clock on a Saturday morning, and I felt invincible. I had a great ass, cool hair, and I was going on a date with a hard-core biker.

Cash – 4. Jennifer – 0. Kimberly – 3.