Tensing, Cash tried to get his body to move—first his legs, then his arms and hands—but nothing was working. Panicking, he pushed harder but only managed a small jerk to his neck, causing his head to once again dip under the water, relieved when it came right back up. He could feel the icy cold water sitting in his lungs, attempting to suffocate him, his body so unwilling to cooperate, he couldn’t even manage the smallest of coughs to bring the shit up. Cash knew he was in a desperate situation, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how to get the hell out of it.
This was his worst fucking nightmare, helpless to do anything while the people he loved suffered. At least that was what he thought because his mind wasn’t cooperating with him. As his useless body floated, he pushed harder, trying to remember anything that could explain what was happening. He remembered the crash, panicked, then reminded himself that Rye, Bas, and Sky had made it out. He remembered the snake and the shots. It felt like déjà vu, he remembered doing the same things before. Emerald eyes kept flashing in his mind. Every time he did, he remembered a small detail. But he had to question himself, had that shit really happened or was his mind finally broken?
Emerald eyes, warmth, and thoughts flooded his head and body—sun shining, a field of flowers, and a small woman looking at him, sad eyes and the need to help. Who the hell was that woman? Why could he see those eyes when everything else was so jumbled? Did he even know her? Her words echoed in his mind, I will not let you die. Cash felt like he was going insane. He wanted to scream. Well, damn it, if you’re going to do something, now would be a good time, but just as before, no words came through his mouth.
He was existing in a virtual hell, but his mind had decided to conjure up a woman, no bigger than a child to what, save his ass? It was fucking ridiculous.
Cash felt the impact a second before he was, once again, forced under the water. This time though he wasn’t lucky enough to be righted. He could feel the water filling his lungs and the black dots forming in his vision. Snapshots of the people he loved flashed in his mind. Jacks and the guys laughing as they sat at the table at Alpha base having a beer. Dalton holding baby McKenna as Emma looked at both of them with love. Wyatt and Skylar teasing each other, smiling and laughing at their own private jokes. The way both Skylar and Bas had looked at each other with longing and love before they turned away and pretended those feelings didn’t exist. Jacks and Rye snuggling together on the couch as they talked to their unborn child. If he could have laughed, he would have because your life really did flash before your eyes right before you died. Fuck it, this was not the end, he wouldn’t allow it! he screamed in his head.
Cash could feel himself being pulled or pushed, he wasn’t exactly sure, it was just pressure on his leg and body, not exactly a feeling. Panicked, he tried to open his eyes, but unlike before, he couldn’t. He tried harder, thinking that if his mind worked, he should be able to do something, anything, but nothing happened. No matter how hard he tried, his body wouldn’t listen to his commands.
It was like he was trapped within his own body, helpless to do anything. No sight, sound, or smell, just there. Conscious but unconscious, alive but dead. What the fuck no one, Cash thought, not even he deserved this type of hell. He felt the pressure again, but this time, it was different, harder like his body colliding with something. Had he hit a tree or a rock? Was he still even floating in the damn river? Every question he could think of he couldn’t answer because he was nothing and nowhere at the same time.
Cash tried again pushing himself further, reaching for his beast and the power that always surrounded him, but the bastard wasn’t there. It was like his mind hit a brick wall every time. For the first time in his life, he was entirely alone, and he didn’t like it very much. His beast was a moody, demanding fucker, but he was Cash’s, and now that he was gone, it was fucking with his head. It made him feel helpless, and that didn’t sit well with him ever; it also made him feel alone. He hated being alone, had since he was a child. He needed people around him. The Elders said that was because he was an Alpha. Alpha’s needed a clan, but Cash never once believed that because he had proven them wrong.
Cash pushed those thoughts away. If he was going to be eaten, he didn’t want to think about the past. He had always been grateful, and he knew that he was a good man. People would remember him fondly at least he hoped they would. So, what if he ignored his destiny? Who was to say it wasn’t meant for another time or place? Hell, maybe another lifetime.
No, he wanted to concentrate on more morbid things like what the fuck was dragging him now. If he could have chuckled, he would have, but no voice meant no laugh. Had the predator finally become the prey? Had he fought his Alpha nature all these years just be become lunch for some lesser animal? The bigger question why didn’t he care?
Now that the initial panic was gone, and he knew there wasn’t anything he could do or fight, he just accepted what was going to happen. There was almost a peacefulness in the emptiness, or maybe it wasn’t the emptiness at all, maybe it was him finally accepting his fate. He did wish whatever had him was a little stronger because it was taking forever to get to where it was taking him. Just his luck he couldn’t go out in a blaze of glory, no, a pack of wolves was just going to tear his useless body apart. But even that scenario didn’t fit because there was only one thing pulling him, not a pack. It would start and stop again like he was too much for whatever had him.
The warmth surrounded him again; emerald eyes flashed in his head right before unimaginable pain racked his body. He felt everything—his lungs burning, the water expelling from his lungs, the fire lacing his chest. It was like a live wire had attached itself to him, and he wanted to scream. Then he felt a faint whisper of his beast. The rage coming from it was immense and blinding.
He struggled to connect to his beast, to find out what was going on, but he was still lost to Cash. He could feel the bond, but it was like it was frayed or something like only a small tendril even existed whereas before it had been as strong as steel. He looked up, still amazed at the battle going on before his eyes. He had never seen his beast before only imagined it.
The woman stood at her full height, and Cash couldn’t even figure out what that was, but she looked small. His beast, on the other hand, was massive. It had to lower its head just to meet the woman’s eyes. His coat was standing on end, and Cash could see the razor-sharp claws protruding from his paws. He wanted to scream at the woman to stand back to move away or hell just run, but every time he opened his mouth, nothing came out.
It didn’t make any sense, but he was seeing it or imagining it. His beast looked feral, snarling and swiping at the small woman he had seen before in the field. She pleaded with the beast to calm, but he was out of control. Cash wanted to beg as well, but he couldn’t do anything but watch.
Cash was an observer in his own mind, and it was fucking disconcerting, but he couldn’t seem to look away. The small woman stood in front of his beast, hands splayed like she wasn’t afraid. He could feel more warmth enter his body as he watched golden streams erupt from her hands, targeting his bear. At first, he tensed, not knowing what was going to happen. He didn’t feel threatened, but then again, he wasn’t feeling anything right now except for warmth, and it sure as fuck didn’t make any sense to him.
He was an outsider, watching a movie, and he wanted to turn it the fuck off. But he was stuck. The small woman he had seen earlier pleaded with the beast and tried to wrap those streams around him. Every single time one got close, his bear would bat it away. He wanted to tell her to stop, he could see the toll it was taking on her, but he was helpless to do anything.
More warmth, another slap, then pain. Cash looked down at his ethereal body; talk about a mind fuck. He looked back up, just in time to see the woman running towards him screaming, but he couldn’t make out the words she was saying. Cash lifted his hand and watched as it slowly started to disappear. He wanted to stay, he wanted to wait until the woman came to him, but his mind shifted, and the scene from all those years ago flashed in his mind again, Jessie saying, I hate you Cash Warren!
Cash was so confused. What the hell was going on? Jessie was standing there now, pissed, tears in her eyes, shaking her head. He looked down at his body again, and it was like looking at a shadow. He wanted the small woman back, he didn’t want to see this shit again. He wanted to see those emerald eyes which confused him even more. Why would he want to see a woman he didn’t even know, instead of Jessie, the woman he was supposed to be bound to?
Jessie the girl he was supposed to love and cherish above all others. He let her name slip through his lips in a whisper, Jessie? Her name becoming a question for the first time in his life.