Margo felt her insides shake a little, her nerves made her uncomfortable as they pulled up outside Gunner’s mother’s house a week after the bonfire party. Things had been really good between them and she didn’t want that to change. She loved him and meeting his mother seemed to her, like the last hurdle they needed to jump over before they could settle into their life as a couple for good. She was wearing her cut over a white t-shirt and jean shorts despite the original boring blue dress her mother had bought her that she’d pulled from the closet and intended to wear. Gunner had seen it and sighed before he, as-polite-as-you-please, lifted it and carried it out of the bedroom. Margo had frowned and followed him to the kitchen where he’d literarily took a knife and cut the thing to bits.

Margo had shrieked and told him to stop but he’d ignored her. She’d demanded to know what she was going to wear to his mother’s and he’d looked at her with a raised brow. ‘Something more you,’ he’d replied before he’d gone into the living room and started flipping through channels. Margo had been at a loss for words but with no other choice she’d searched her wardrobe for something to wear and this was the best she could do. She just hoped her experience with his mother wouldn’t go anything like the experience with her mother had gone for him.

Gunner didn’t seem worried at all and he’d only frowned a little at her outfit, but apparently decided it would work because he hadn’t taken a knife to it while she was in the shower. As they walked up the little drive that was lined with poppies, Margo wrung her hands. As they neared the door, her throat felt tight and her shoulders were tense. Gunner brushed his hand along her spine trying to reassure her as he rang the doorbell.

Margo waited for the door to open with her nerves jangling and her palms sweating. When the door swung open, a dark haired, rather chunky woman stepped out onto the porch and gave a warm welcoming smile, Margo felt herself relax. 

“Oh, aren’t you just a beauty.” Martha Jones said, smiling from ear to ear. “I’m Martha Jones, this rapscallion’s mother.”

Margo smiled suddenly feeling a lot less worried about this dinner. “Margo Dexter, it’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Jones. I’m surprised we haven’t met at any of the churches functions.”

“Yes, I remember you. We’ve never chatted, but you’re always helping with the events, which is so nice of you. And none of that Mrs. Jones stuff, call me Martha.” Margo felt a little shamed by the praise because most of the things she did with the church were things her mother guilted her into doing.

“You sly devil, you. Dating Helen Dexter’s daughter, while telling me you weren’t ever going to get married. Come in, come in, dinner’s almost ready,” Martha said over her shoulder to her son, before grabbing Margo’s arm and tugging her into the house. Margo entered behind Martha, looking around curiously at the house he’d grown up in. She saw pictures of him at various stages of his life lining the walls, some of them even had a few of the Grave Diggers in them. Margo realized that, despite her not approving of Gunner’s choices, Martha loved her son without conditions making her a little sad. She wondered what that was like, having a mother to support you no matter who you were, without any conditions on that love. How different would that have made Margo’s life?

As a warm hand slipped into hers and hard fingers curled around them, she realized it didn’t matter. Everything that had happened in her life had led her here to this house and this man, and that was what mattered. As Martha bustled into the kitchen, Gunner moved closer his arm curling around her waist. Their hands were still linked and he brought them up kissing her fingers as he smiled at her.

“Told you it would be okay, babe. You didn’t have to worry. She’s just glad I have a female in my life. She’s only grateful you’re not a classless hooker who is hooked on crack,” Gunner chuckled a little at his own joke earning a punch in the arm for his rudeness. The day flew by and before she knew it, she was sitting on the couch laughing at pictures his mother was showing her while Gunner grumbled and glared. Although, she could tell he wasn’t really upset that his mother was showing her all his embarrassing childhood adventures. Margo loved every second of this day and she was almost sure everything was going to be okay right up until Martha closed the photo album. Her smile was bright and kind as she spoke not realizing that what she said was going to rip the rug right out from under Margo stealing her happiness in seconds.

“When are you two going to start having children of your own? Gunner explained that you’re already married basically, so will I be seeing grandbabies soon?” Martha asked.

A cold sense of longing for something that would never be, filled Margo to the brim, as she realized she’d never told Gunner about her inability to have children. Margo felt her world shatter when she heard Gunner’s reply.

“Not anytime soon, Mom. We just got together and need time to be a couple before we worry about having any kids.”

Margo felt cold and her hands shook as she tucked them under her legs, a strained smile on her face that no one noticed as she realized she was going to have to let Gunner go. He was the type of man who’d want a family and kids of his own. Looking around this house, she knew he’d want to be a father and she—well, she could never offer him that chance. Tears began stinging her eyes and she needed to escape.

“I need to go use the bathroom,” Margo said, her voice steadier than she would have expected.

“Of course, dear go ahead,” Martha murmured, her back to Margo as she pushed the photo album back onto its’ shelf.

“We need to get home too, it’s getting late and I know you have church in the morning, Mom. We will come back soon, or maybe you can come to our place,” Gunner offered, as Margo stood and almost ran to the bathroom. Margo felt tears slipping down her cheeks as she stepped into the small room. Her world was imploding as she realized that she was never going to be back here in this house again and Gunner wasn’t going to be hers, she had to let him go. He was a good man who didn’t deserve a broken woman who couldn’t give him what he deserved. As she looked at her tear-stained face in the mirror she wondered how she’d manage to live without him now.

 

 

Gunner heard his mother talking about kids and realized he’d never talked to Margo about his vasectomy. Shit, well that was a conversation he wasn’t looking forward to. Telling her that he never wanted kids was going to be hard. He really hoped she wasn’t planning on having any because he didn’t want them. Gunner knew that even if she wanted him to have his vasectomy reversed, he wouldn’t do it. He didn’t want to expose children to life with the club. There were dozens of reasons that he didn’t want to have kids. He’d seen too many little ones hurt by things that happened on a day-to-day basis. He didn’t want Margo to end up a single mother, even if the club would help her. He didn’t want that life for her, nor did he want a child caught in the crossfire of a shoot-out between them and a rival club. He’d seen that happen with Rock’s son and the devastation it had left in its wake. He didn’t want any of that for his kid, which is exactly why he’d chosen to have vasectomy done in the first place.

He cared for Margo and he wanted her to be happy, but he didn’t want kids. His life was too difficult and he already stressed about Margo’s safety all the time and she was old enough to hold a gun—which was something else he was going to have to discuss with her. He wanted her trained to use one for when he wasn’t with her, but that wasn’t the issue he was having right now.

“Not anytime soon, Mom. We just got together and need time to be a couple before we worry about having any kids,” he evaded, derailing that conversation before Margo got it into her head that was where they were headed.

Margo asked where the bathroom was and excused herself, while he continued to allow his thoughts to circle round and round. Adoption might happen one day, but he didn’t want kids of his own. A kid who was already here and needed a family he might one day be willing to do, but he wasn’t bringing a life into the world, only to watch it be broken by the world he lived in. Having Margo to worry about was more than enough.

He wondered what was taking Margo so long in the bathroom, because he wanted to get out of here. Not that he didn’t love his mother, but she wasn’t one to let things go. He was going to have to tell her he wasn’t ever having kids unless he adopted one years from now, but not anytime soon. He was happy with just him, Margo, and his brothers. His brothers would have kids and he and Margo could be Uncle Gunner and Aunt Margo, who would spoil them and send them home to mom and dad. Yep, that would work for him. He just hoped it would work for Margo too.

Gunner was beginning to wonder what was taking Margo so damned long in the bathroom after fifteen more minutes had passed. He helped his mom put away the dishes while he waited, glad when Margo finally exited the bathroom. He made their excuses to his mom, and twenty minutes later they were on his bike headed home.

He was glad when they arrived at their apartment a little while later and wondered if they should have this conversation tonight or if he should wait till morning. He entered the apartment behind Margo, realizing she had barely spoken after returning from the bathroom and now that he thought about it, she’d been rather pale and listless too. A worried frown pulled at the corners of his mouth as he moved into the living room behind her. She turned to face him, her hands clenched at her sides and she looked upset. Gunner was about to scoop her into his arms and demand to know what was wrong, when she spoke.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said flatly as she took off his patch. She held it out to him and Gunner stared at it in confusion. What the hell was she talking about?

“Can’t do what anymore?” he asked, still a little confused as to why she was holding out his patch like he should take it back.

“I can’t be with you anymore. It’s just not working for me,” Margo said. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What the fuck had happened in the last hour to make her say stupid shit like that? He racked his brain for a reason and drew a blank.

“Margo, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m not joking, Gunner. I don’t want to do this anymore,” Margo stated, as she shoved her patch at his chest. Gunner caught the patch and stared at her in amazement.

What the fuck was going on here?

He couldn’t figure out what had happened. He knew this had to be some insecurity that her mother had instilled in her, but he wouldn’t allow her to poison their relationship over and over like this. She’d already pushed him away once and he wouldn’t allow her to keep doing it. He wanted to keep her, but living on a roller coaster wasn’t something he was willing to do.

“Don’t do this, Margo. Whatever it is we can talk it out. Just tell me what’s wrong, babe. It’s something we can work out,” he pleaded trying to get her to tell him what insecurity was forcing her to act this way.

“That’s just it, we can’t get over this one, Gunner. It’s just not possible and you deserve not to be stuck with me. It’s just not going to work between us,” Margo said, tears streaming down her face.

“So, that’s it then? You don’t care enough to even try?” he asked, hoping she’d at least try.

“No, it would be pointless,” Margo whispered.

Gunner didn’t want to hear what she was saying but he didn’t have a choice. He wouldn’t live his life always waiting for the other shoe to drop and he knew if she didn’t choose him and stick to that choice, then they couldn’t ever make this relationship work. The knowledge didn’t help the anger that coiled inside him as he snarled and kicked the coffee table over watching her jump and step back with fear clouding her face. He wanted to put his fist through the wall, but he held onto his temper just barely as he stepped back clenching the patch in his hand.

“Fuck it, Bunny will come pick up my shit tomorrow. If you aren’t willing to even attempt to work this out, it’s fucking worthless anyway. Have a nice fucking life, Margo.” Gunner turned and slammed out the door without waiting for her to reply, ignoring the pained moan from her as he walked away.

He took the stairs two at a time, too angry to wait for the elevator. When he hit the parking lot, he stormed to his bike jerking the saddle bag open and he shoved her patch into it, unsure why he was even bothering. They were done, she’d thrown them away without a fight. Damn, it hurt like a bitch that she cared so little for him that she could do this to them. He kicked his bike into gear hearing the growl of his engine. It always soothed him in the past but he had a feeling today the road wasn’t going to help with the massive hole that was currently a jagged part of his soul.

How did they go from blissfully happy, to broken beyond repair in less than five minutes? He didn’t know, but as he roared out of the parking lot to the sound of squealing tires and smoke from his wheels, he didn’t fucking care, he just needed to be as far away from here as possible.