Chapter Eighteen
He couldn’t get Daphne’s face out of his head. Her voice…
The coyote.
He’s here.
Watching.
She’d said that. Daphne had said that. Despite the drugs, he’d heard her. And despite the fact that Cassie’s sweet body molded to his and her soft breath hit his chest with every exhale as she slept peacefully beside him, Jase couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t stop hearing Daphne threaten the one thing he treasured most. The thing he treasured above his brother, his land, and his company. Hell, even his own life.
Cassie’s presence at his bay house in the wake of his injury had solidified his growing attachment to her. She’d waited on him, as much as he’d let her, and despite the sexy little sponge baths and the fact that she tried her damnedest not to burn dinner, it went so much deeper than that. She’d shared parts of herself that she could never take back. And he’d own them forever.
She’d read him some of her short stories, which weren’t as fantastic as he’d imagined, but more like modern fairy tales, and he’d made love to her afterwards, imagining himself the hero in her tales.
Most importantly, she’d introduced him to her mother on a speakerphone call that had left her in tears when, about halfway through, her mother had confused him with Reid and bawled him out for the latest in a string of affairs he’d had no clue about. When her mother hung up, Cassie had thrown her phone across the room. With tears streaming down her face, she’d come at him. Expecting that he’d need all evening to calm her down, she’d shocked him by taking his mouth in a heated, angry kiss. Then she’d proceeded to strip him naked, crawl on top of him, and work out her frustration until she was sweaty and breathless. Then, he’d rolled her over and loved her, with his lips, his tongue, his body. He’d whispered things in her ear he’d never told another.
She made him feel things no one else ever had. And he was about to kick her out.
The coyote.
He’s here.
Watching.
He was out of time and unprepared for it.
He’d been living in fantasy land. The one where he defeated the enemy and got the girl and no one got hurt in the process. That’s what he’d been imagining when he asked Cassie to be his lady. Because, you know, he was a real American hero. A bitter laugh escaped his lips. Yep, his pride had brought them here. He’d been both a sucker for a pretty face and an arrogant ass who’d had to prove to himself that he could get the girl. Then, he’d fallen for her completely, right about the time he burned Oscar’s hideout to ashes. The laughter continued, though it wasn’t his this time. No, that would be the sound of the universe laughing at his best-laid plans.
Cassie reached for him. “Hey…”
A pain that had nothing to do with his injury swamped his every fiber. He’d put a damn target on her back by moving her into his house. He hadn’t intended it. Her coming home with him from the hospital had seemed like the natural move, especially since he’d destroyed her motel room. But the longer it went on, the more dangerous it became. And it was only a matter of time before they were found out, especially with her driving back and forth to work in that damn bright-red rental. It had to end.
“I need you home,” he said into the dawn-lightened room.
“What?” Cassie lifted her head. Her sleep-soft features and messy hair were making his dick hard, and he stared at the ceiling. He wouldn’t be the asshole who made love to her then kicked her out.
He moved her hand from his chest, cringing at his rude attempts to save her life. “I mean home. To your mother.”
“What are you talking about?” And that sweet voice…God help him. “You’re not completely healed. Rome wasn’t built in a—”
“Rome was sacked by barbarians.” He glared at the ceiling.
Her voice wavered, so sweet. “Jase, please…”
Christ, she was killing him.
No. Oscar would kill them both if he sensed weakness. And he was definitely weak when it came to her. Case in point, he was considering rolling her on top of him anyway and kissing away the confusion written on her face. Instead, he laid it out, as plainly as he could. “Listen to me. I’ve been down for a week, and I have some major catching up to do at work. Your being here is a hell of a distraction, and I don’t need distractions right now. I still want to hear from you. Every day. You need to call or text, you hear me?”
“Have you lost your mind?”
He couldn’t look at her, the pain and shock on her face more devastating than anything he’d felt since his parents’ deaths. “Yeah, I think I did,” he said, pulling himself up to rest against the headboard. “Right about the time you blew your tire at my gate.”
“Why are you doing this? Lie back down.”
“Cass—”
“Right now, buster! We can do this the hard way, and I can haul you back into the hospital for a head examination or you can tell me what the hell is going on.” There’s that determination… “We need to get to the bottom of whatever this is, because I think I just heard you say ‘Take a hike.’”
Steel ones on this chick. His jaw snapped shut and he swung his legs off the far side of the bed to pull on a pair of boxers.
She rounded the bed, fucking naked, and got right in his face. “You’re going to tell me something, and you’re going to tell me now.” God help him, if she didn’t put on some clothes, he was going to give her any damn thing she wanted. “This guy you beat down after you broke up with Daphne? Is he the same one you promised your brother you’d kill?” She leaned closer and narrowed her eyes. “That’s what I thought. There’s a man out there. He wants you dead, or worse, suffering. He’s all tied up with your ex and your brother and your land. Oscar Martinez.” Motherfucker, she knew—
Cassie placed a knee on the mattress between his legs to keep him down. “Yeah, I know his name. And he’s probably the same asshole who stole my wallet. Oh, and is buying half the Neely tract.”
Speechless, Jase scowled, nose to nose with her, his breath coming in short, violent puffs.
“By the way, he goes by Coy Martin when he’s conducting land transactions and introducing himself to pretty little landmen.”
The room wanted to spin, and he grabbed for something to hold on to. Cassie. Her hips. His. “Cassie,” he breathed, “I’m…” going to kill the motherfucker.
“Angry?” she asked, gripping his wrists with her two little fists, her bare breasts right in his face. “Surprised? Maybe a little hurt? Imagine my anger at finding myself knee-deep in this mess but wanting to stay, with you, despite it all, and more importantly, despite my mother stuck in a shithole nursing home hundreds of miles away. And I’m a little surprised you didn’t think me intelligent enough to figure it out. That hurts. But what’s devastating is you still not trusting me, you trying to push me away instead of just telling me what’s going on.”
Because he wanted to lock her down, take care of Oscar like he should have years ago, then set her free. But damn it, she wasn’t a bird he could cage. He swallowed a big ol’ horse pill of pride. He’d insulted her, underestimated her. Again. He needed her and wanted her. Safe. And he only had a few options here.
He gripped her behind the neck and pulled her closer. “It’s not forever,” he said, breathing in her scent, his scent. Spicy anise. “Not even close. I just need to know you’re safe.”
“Oscar Martinez.” She said it for the second time, and Jase wanted to purge her mind so she’d forget she’d ever heard the devil’s name. “Spill it. Tell me why he wants you dead and why we can’t be together.”
His blood chilled, which was saying a lot, given the fact that his woman, the only woman he wanted, stood before him buck-ass naked. He didn’t want to do this, not now.
“I’m torn, too, Jase.” She looked up through her bangs. “Half of me wants to fall in love with you, and the other half wants to run, screaming, from all this bullshit you won’t talk about.”
And that’s exactly what she needed to do. The command stuck in his throat.
Cassie pulled away from him and threw her hands in the air. “Fine. You don’t want to talk? Don’t talk. You win.” She stomped across the bedroom, her ripe ass jiggling, and dammit if he wasn’t aroused, despite the unsavory topic at hand.
He caught her just before she reached the bathroom. “I told you not to run from me,” he said, spinning her around and pinning her to the wall. Her lush body heaved against his. “Don’t run, Cassie. Not ever. I told you I’d catch you, and I will, even if my leg isn’t one hundred percent.” He’d removed the staples the day before, adamant about not returning to the hospital, despite Cassie’s protests. He was healing well, but at the moment, he didn’t care if he ripped everything back open. He had to make her understand.
“You can push me away, but I can’t run from you? That’s crazy.”
Crazy? Oh no, she didn’t understand about crazy. He decided to tell her. And even if they ended it all right then, even if they’d already shared their last kiss, he’d accomplish what he’d aimed to do all along. He’d keep her safe. Even if he had to do it out of pure terror.
“You want to hear about Oscar?” Yeah, he’d scare her so badly she’d become a nun. At least that’s what he told himself, because he couldn’t bear the thought of her with another man, of her sharing children with that man. Uh-uh. Fuck that. “Cover up. I’m not talking about this while you’re naked.”
She glared at him and walked back to the bed. By cover up he’d meant clothes, not sheets, but it was good enough.
He paced at the end of the bed. Confession time. He hated it, but it had to be done. And even though he wasn’t ready—hell, he’d never be ready—he spilled his queasy guts. “So. You want to hear about how Oscar raped Daphne on my land? How she didn’t say a damn thing to me, her man? That I didn’t even know she was pregnant until she OD’d?”
Cassie gasped and rose to her knees on the bed, the sheet clutched to her chest and her hair spilling down her shoulders. She looked like a goddess, and the fact that he wanted to tear the sheet from her, even now, meant that Oscar wouldn’t hesitate. Yeah. And that was exactly why she had to stay away. “I carried her into the ER thinking half of me would die right there with her. And our child?” He hissed the next words. “He wasn’t even my child. It felt like I’d been shot when I saw Oscar’s son in my woman’s arms, her smiling down at him…her admitting she didn’t know when it had happened because she’d been going back to him since that first night.”
Stunned, Cassie’s lips parted. He wanted to lick them. It was savage and wrong, but the need to scare her and claim her all at once overwhelmed him and he could hear the strain in his voice.
“The drugs, the trafficking, Oscar…my brother chose them over me. Always. He told me it was my fault about Daphne, the baby. I didn’t think there was a part of me left that could hurt. Then you started runnin’ around, peeking into cartel pit-stops and stealing part of my soul in the process. Not heart. Soul.” He paused to let that sink in. “I thought I could contain it, this…this fling, but we both know it turned into more than that. You…in the boat that day, in the hospital after…I don’t deserve you. I never will. I can make sure this shit doesn’t touch you.”
She didn’t answer. She just stared, her chest heaving and her eyes wild.
“You can scream now.”
“Are you serious?” she whispered, still on her knees.
He placed the knee of his good leg on the bed, his eyes trained on hers. “You need me to make you?” It was messed up, but he felt a primal urge to erase everything he’d just said from both of their minds, if only temporarily. Just like she’d needed him after that uncomfortable conversation with her mother, he needed to hold her in his arms and hear his name on her lips. And yes, he’d make her scream, but she’d be screaming his name. “I told myself I wouldn’t do this,” he said, crawling toward her. “But you’re not leaving without the taste of me in your mouth.”
“I’m not leaving, Jase.”
“Yeah, you are.” He stopped, a foot away from her, and rose to his knees. With his heated gaze locked on hers, he balled the sheet in his fist and dragged it from her body. The crisp cotton fell away slowly, revealing her peach-soft skin and delicious curves. His hand trembled as he reached for her hip. The moment he made contact it stilled. Because that’s what she did to him. She was an antidote for all the fucked-up things in his life, and he’d be damned if Oscar Martinez tainted what they had.
Biting his lip to keep from losing himself in the feel of her, he traced the curve of her hip, the dip of her waist. He wanted to savor every touch, every look, every breath. Because he didn’t know when he’d have her back. He was already hard, that was a given. But when he brushed the underside of her breast, heat rushed to his groin, making him throb with need.
“I can’t…” Cassie shook her head. “I can’t leave you.”
He ran his knuckles down her cheek, and she pressed into his hand. “You can do anything.”
Tears spilled from her eyes, but it was the words she said next that tore his heart in two. “Not without you.”
“Oh, sweet baby,” he whispered, drawing her in for a kiss. Her lips trembled against his, and he brushed the hot tears from her cheeks with his thumb before pulling away to look into her beautiful face. “I’m in love with you, Cassie. And I know that for a fact. If I wasn’t, I’d keep you here with me and never let you go.”
She threaded her hands through his hair and smashed her lips to his. His heart raced. She was his. In this moment, only they existed. It would shatter, he knew, and he intended to draw it out as long as possible. He wrapped his arms around her in a fierce embrace, determined to memorize every inch of her mouth and tongue. The passion in her kiss had his heart thudding in his chest and his dick straining in his boxers. He gave her the reins and didn’t protest when she broke the kiss and dragged him down to the bed. And he sure as hell didn’t fuss when she rolled him onto his back and began covering his body with kisses. She did it gently, in stark contrast to the ferocity of her kiss, caressing him with her soft lips and hot tongue. He didn’t know if she loved him or not, and it didn’t matter. Love was unconditional, given freely. He hadn’t intended to tell her what he had, but he hadn’t realized it until it came tumbling out of his mouth. And he didn’t regret it, not for a second.
He did about lose his mind when she pulled down his boxers and took him in her mouth. He fisted the sheets in his hands, smiling in pleasure that she’d taken his words to heart. She’d have his taste in her mouth alright. As for his heart? It was hers to do with as she wished. At the moment, she seemed hell-bent on making him come. He fought it as she sucked him deep and twirled her tongue around his head. “Come here,” he rasped. “Now.”
She looked up, her mouth wet from him. The lusty, devastated look in her gaze damn near undid him. And she wasn’t even touching him. “Crawl up here and grab on to the headboard before I lose it.”
Obeying immediately, she rose above him. Seconds later, he had her sweet ass in his hands and his hungry mouth between her legs. Damn, she tasted like heaven, and he was determined to leave the taste of her in his mouth, too. He held her tight as she clung to the headboard, his hands encouraging her to roll her hips against him. With a sexy-as-all-hell moan, her head dropped back and that long, silky hair brushed his taut belly and teased his enflamed cock. Fuck, he was going to lose it like this.
“So good,” she whispered.
To show her how much better he could make it, he left her to ride his face on her own and slid a hand down the crack of her ass to finger her from behind. Oh, and he’d never neglect those beautiful breasts. She liked nipple play too much, and he knew exactly how to push her over the edge.
“Jase…” she panted. “Don’t stop…please.” As if he would.
When she began shuddering above him, he finished with a flourish, swirling her clit then sucking it into his mouth and flicking his tongue over the exposed nub.
“I can’t take it…” she begged, squirming when he wouldn’t let her go, when he brought both hands to her hips, trying to coax another orgasm out of her trembling body.
And there it was, a sweet aftershock that left her limp.
She slid down his chest, and he eased her onto his cock. They moaned in unison as she took him deep. With their hungry, longing gazes locked on each other, she rode him slowly, her breasts swaying in the most perfect rhythm he’d ever seen, and once again, he became aware of each soft groan, each indrawn breath, each second, ticking away.
She bent to kiss him, slow and sweet. It went on and on until they weren’t two bodies joined, they just…were, moving together, in sensuous harmony, their mouths touching but no longer kissing. They shared every breath, every heartbeat. It was beautiful and heartbreaking, and they did it again and again, drained, but not sated. He lost track of how many times he went soft only to harden inside her again, and at some point, she could do no more than rock lazily atop him, her forehead pressed to his.
He slid his hands over her hips and cupped her ass, steadying her sloppy strokes. “I don’t want to stop.”
“I don’t, either,” she said, angling her hips to take him deep.
He groaned, thrusting up as she circled her clit against his base. “I want to give you everything, lay the world at your feet. But my world is poisoned right now.”
“Nothing with you in it can be that bad,” she said, drawing one of his hands to her breast. To her heart.
He molded his hand over her flesh and squeezed gently. “You’re breaking me, Cassie. Ripping me apart.”
Her lips met his, and she whispered into them. “You’re the one pushing me away.”
Despite that, when he kissed her, she rocked harder against him. Nearing climax, she arched backward, and he reached between her legs. He caressed her clit, so near to where their bodies met that he could feel his fingers at their joining.
Destruction washed over her as she exploded into a million heartbroken pieces. Seconds later, he arched, too, and with a low groan, released a part of himself deep inside her.
She collapsed and curled her body around his, unwilling to let any part of him go. He cradled her head as she buried her face in his neck, and her tears burned his skin and branded his soul. “I’m scared.”
“You’re not supposed to be afraid of anything.” He trailed his lips over her jaw and planted gentle kisses on her neck. “That’s why you have me.” That’s why I’m sending you away.
“I’m afraid for you.”
“You can’t be scared for me. It doesn’t work that way. Your life will always come before mine. That goes without saying.”
“No,” she sobbed. “No way.”
He caressed her back, needing her skin on his, her breath in his ear. “Can’t fight it, baby. I was born for that shit.”
God, he needed her. And he would have her. All of her.
He just wasn’t sure how.
Someone pounded on the front door.
“Jase!” a deep voice boomed.
He looked down at Cassie. Her beautiful body still trembled in his arms. But it was the look on her face that nearly undid him. Fear. He’d tried to keep her away, but it appeared that a shitstorm travelled in her wake.
And whatever this was, it wasn’t good.