“COME IN, COME in!” Dr. Roberts said excitedly, waving me into her office Monday morning. “I’ve been dying to hear how your week went.”
I walked through the door, sat in my usual spot on the leather couch, and waited for her to take her seat across from me.
“So?” she said impatiently when I didn’t start talking right away.
“You’re the devil.” I glared at her.
“Oh, come on!” She sighed and threw her hands in the air dramatically. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“It was fine for the first few days, then it got tough.”
“What was the hardest part?”
The thirteen-year-old boy that lived deep inside of me started laughing at her word choice, and before I knew it, that laugh had traveled up my throat and out of my mouth.
Dr. Roberts frowned for a brief second, then shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Fine. What was the most difficult part?”
“Saturday night, for sure.”
“Tell me more,” she ordered as she stood up and walked over to the fridge to retrieve the two water bottles that typically kept us company during our meetings.
“Well, you made me go to the bar, remember?”
“I remember.”
“That’s like my place. That’s where I go to meet people.”
“People?”
“Women,” I corrected myself.
“And… did you meet any women on Saturday?”
“Nope. You told me I couldn’t.”
“That’s not true,” she defended, shaking her head at me. “I said you couldn’t have sex with any women, not that you couldn’t talk to any women. I think talking to them actually would have been good for you, given you a bit more of a test.”
“Portland was working. That fact alone was a test.”
She leaned forward and grabbed her water bottle. “Who’s Portland?”
“She’s a waitress at that bar we always go to. I’ve been trying to get into her pants forever.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why her?”
“Why anyone? She’s hot.”
“Here’s what I’m wondering, though…” She paused and chewed on her bottom lip as she twirled a piece of her dark hair in her fingers. “From the things you’ve told me, I’ve gathered that you don’t have a problem getting women to talk to you, or even go home with you at the end of the night. Is that a fair statement?”
I nodded once. “Sure.”
“So, why doesn’t it work with this woman? And if it doesn’t work, why don’t you give up and move on to someone else? Why keep chasing her?”
“Why… ask so many questions at once?” I joked.
Dr. Roberts clenched her jaw and inhaled loudly through her nose, clearly annoyed with me.
“I don’t know, probably because I hate losing. I’m not used to being turned down, so when she doesn’t fall for my lines, it pisses me off.”
“Do you hit on her every single time you’re there?”
“Pretty much, and when she finally comes to her senses and calls me, it’ll be the most glorious day of my life.”
“Okay, enough about Portland, for now. How was the rest of your weekend? Any other tests that I should know about?”
“Nope.” I shook my head, thinking back. “Other than that it was pretty uneventful. Wait! Something did happen; not a test but still exciting in other areas.”
“Fill me in.”
“I went to Michelle’s.”
“Really? Was it a last-minute thing like last time or was this a planned visit?”
“Both, actually. She was out with all of us on Saturday night and then I sent her my daily check-in text on Sunday. Instead of just saying she was fine like she normally does, we chatted a little. She told me she had a headache, so I offered to take Matthew to storytime at the library.”
“And?” She leaned forward in her chair, anxious to hear more.
“And… I took him to the library.”
“How did that go?”
Thinking back to the weekend and my morning with Matthew, I struggled to contain my smile. “It was pretty cool. We sat on this big rug that looked like the Earth and sang songs, and the librarian read a couple of books. It was Space Day. Next week is On The Farm.”
She jerked her head back in surprise. “You’re going again?”
“Yep,” I said confidently. “We got back to the house and he asked if I’d take him again next week. Michelle said yes so I’m all over it.”
She stared at me with her mouth hanging open, not saying a word.
“Stop looking at me like that.” I laughed. “I told you, it was fun.”
“Okay, okay. Enough about storytime or we aren’t going to get anything accomplished today.” She cleared her throat. “I’d like to try it one more time. Two weeks this time. Can you do that?”
“What? Why?” I snapped.
“Relax.” She held her hands up calmly. “It’s just something I want to try.”
I bolted up from the couch in frustration and started pacing her office. “I don’t get this. I don’t get what this is supposed to teach me. Why do you care if I fuck or who I fuck?”
“This is something that might help you, Viper. It’s not for my benefit.”
“Fine,” I groaned as I sat back down on the couch, shaking my head. “I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises. I won’t go looking for it, but should a situation present itself, I’m taking it.”
AFTER A MOSTLY shitty meeting with Dr. Roberts, I needed a break. I needed to go where I could be myself and I wouldn’t be judged for it.
I headed straight to Gam’s.
She opened her front door, beaming when she saw me. “To what do I owe this surprise?”
“I missed my favorite old lady.” I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tight, lifting her off the floor just a little.
“Well, this old lady missed you too.” I could tell she was smiling as she talked. “Come on in. I was just baking.”
I set her down and pulled back, eyeing her skeptically. “You? Baking?”
“Okay, I was thinking about baking, but I was just about to pour myself a drink. Want one?”
“There she is!” I joked, following her to the kitchen. I noticed she was limping more than normal. I motioned toward her leg. “You okay?”
She waved me off. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. What can I get you?”
“Do you have any root beer?” I grinned.
“Of course I do!” She winked at me. “I keep it stocked for surprises like this. She took a bottle of IBC root beer out of the fridge and set it on the table in front of me before turning back to the counter to mix her own drink. She was just about to sit down at the table across from me when she stopped and put her hand on her hip. “Actually, it’s nice out. Wanna sit on the back deck instead?”
“Absolutely.”
Gam’s backyard was just as amazing as the front. Flowers of every color sat in planters in the corners of her deck and a dozen more birdhouses hung from the trees. Two turquoise Adirondack chairs I’d bought her a couple years back sat right in the middle of the deck overlooking the lake her house was on. It wasn’t a big lake, certainly not as big as the one Kacie and Brody lived on, but it was big enough to have a boat out on, and she loved to sit and watch them and, of course, protect her birdhouses from those bastard squirrels.
“It is nice out today.” I walked over and set my root beer on the small table that sat in between the chairs.
“You say that like it’s the first time you’ve been outside all day. Don’t tell me that you’ve just rolled out of bed.”
“No, I was up early, actually,” I said in my best know-it-all tone.
“Oh?” She sat down in one of the chairs and set her whiskey and water down next to my bottle. “What were you up so early for?”
Other than Coach Collins, his assistant Mia, the big wigs in the office, Brody, and Dr. Roberts herself, no one knew I was going there to see her on a semi-regular basis. I hadn’t yet told Gam about my meetings in general, and no way in hell was I ever going to tell her about the “restrictions” I’d been put on, but it was time to let her in… at least a little.
“I had an appointment with my therapist.” I looked at her and waited for her reaction.
She looked over at me quickly with her dark brown eyes narrowed at me, her hand raised up to shield them from the sun so she could see me better. “A therapist? Seriously?”
I took a deep breath. For obvious reasons, Gam’s opinions and judgments of me ran much deeper than anyone else’s.
“Yes, seriously. The dickwads in the front office thought I was spiraling out of control with what happened with Mike, so they sent me to her. Oddly enough, we’re talking about all sorts of things now. She’s trying to make me better as a whole.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “She?”
“Yeah. Dr. Roberts. You’d like her. She doesn’t put up with any of my shit.”
“Good, she shouldn’t.” She nodded. “You think that smile of yours can get you out of just about anything, and you’re mostly right. At some point you needed to grow up and deal with life head-on, not hide in the weeds and wait for it to drive by before you showed your face again. You’re good at that, Lawrence.”
I’d just been schooled by my eighty-nine-year-old grandmother.
“I know. And I’m trying. You have to give me some credit.”
“Okay, you win… for now.” She smiled, staring out at the water. “How is this going to affect your season? Don’t you start soon?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “We report back in two weeks, actually. I’m just going to have to work around my schedule. It is what it is. If it’s important enough, you make time for it, right?”
Her head turned toward me again, eyeing me warily. “You’re freaking me out talking like that. Knock it off.”
She turned her head back toward the lake and closed her eyes as a small, tight smile appeared on her lips. I didn’t say anything.
We just sat in the warm sun, enjoying the quiet together. In that moment, as in many other moments throughout my life, I wished she were my mother instead of my grandmother. She would have protected me.