Someone, please tell me how a mean, spoiled brat can make herself as vulnerable as Noemi did tonight.

She gave herself to me completely, and it was genuine. I’m sure of it. She couldn’t have faked the flush on her cheeks, the red blotches on her breasts, or her engorged, stiff nipples. Nor could she force her pupils to dilate like that, turning her hazel eyes black when she looked up at me with her lips around my cock. And how could she have produced all that creamy, delicious nectar I licked off her?

Has she truly changed?

Or has she always been this person, underneath the bitch? It would explain why I’d fallen for her in the first place.

I must know. It’s vital that I know.

“You seemed to enjoy yourself more than usual tonight,” I say.

She stares at my mouth for a long moment and then shifts her gaze to my eyes. “I did.”

I peer at her.

“I’m going to be brave and make a confession,” Noemi says. “You deserve it.”

I wait.

She takes a ragged breath. “Once, years back, you took a huge risk when you showed up at my birthday party with a love declaration tattooed on your back and a letter in your hands. And you took an even bigger risk two weeks ago when you proposed on the boat.”

“Please, you shouldn’t feel you owe me—”

She cups my cheek. “But I do.”

I shut my mouth.

“It isn’t just to reward your courage,” Noemi says. “It’s also because for the first time in my life, I’m starting to understand who I really am.”

A sense of foreboding washes over me. In my gut, in my heart, I know she’s being honest now. She’s pushing herself to open up and tell me things she might regret later—things that I might use against her.

I should be gleeful. But instead, my hand burns to cover her mouth to stop her from saying more. I don’t want her to. I can’t let her. Given my plans for her, how will I live with myself if I do?

“So, here’s the weird thing,” she says. “I’ve always gone out of my way to be what my parents, my so-called friends, and now my boss expect of me.”

“And what’s that?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.

“Being guarded and calculating.”

She peers into my eyes as if trying to gauge my reaction.

I hold her gaze.

“I’m through with that.” She nods to reinforce her words. “Starting tonight, I’m brave enough to tell them they can shove their guidance.”

A glimmer of hope illuminates the abyss I’ve been sinking into. Maybe Noemi’s confession has nothing to do with me, or with her feelings for me. Maybe it’s just about her finally growing up and emancipating herself from the dictates of others.

“I’m happy to hear that,” I say, forcing a smile. “Nobody bosses my Noemi around!”

“You mistook my meaning. What I really want to say is…” She shuts her eyes for a moment. “God, it’s hard!”

“Then don’t say it,” I murmur. “I don’t expect you to strip your soul bare. I don’t need it, Noemi.”

Her eyes fly open. “But I do.”

She rolls on her back, then on her side, and faces the wall.

“Noemi?” I touch her shoulder. “Are you OK?”

“Yes. It’s just… It’s hard to say these things facing you, so…”

“Please, baby—” I begin in a last attempt to stop her.

“I’ve always played a part,” she says. “The part of a woman without vulnerabilities, beyond reproach, a woman who would never do anything weird, unbefitting, or anything to be ridiculed for. Both in bed and out of it.”

Something strange happens as she says this.

I no longer want her to stop talking. Tough shit if I won’t be able to live with myself afterward. What she’s saying is too important to walk away from.

It’s impossible to walk away from.

“I think that’s why you never dared to push me harder before,” she says. “Why you never really claimed me, despite the ring. But tonight, you did. And I loved it. For the first time, I feel I am truly yours—and you, mine—without holding anything back. It was amazing.”

My blood pounds in my ears.

“I trust you with my body and soul.” Noemi reaches behind her and finds my hand, which she brings to her lips. “And I won’t let my insecurities and overblown fear of ridicule undermine our relationship.”

We remain in that position for the longest time, until Noemi’s breathing becomes deeper.

She’s fallen asleep.

But me, I’m reeling too hard to sack out.

Did she mean what she said?

Is it possible she’s no longer the devious bitch who humiliates people for fun? Can you wake up one day and decide to be good?

Bam! Just like that.

Or is it yet another brilliant scheme in which savvy Noemi plays loser Julien like a fiddle?

Need a cig.

In the seven years since I quit smoking, I haven’t craved a cigarette more than I do now.