Chapter One
“Santa…” Kayla Adams began singing as soon as he answered the phone. “I hope I get one little thing, a ring,” she giggled. “Santa please…”
His lips curled up into a smile listening to her mess up the Christmas song playing in the background. Kayla had that effect on him. If he was having a bad day, hearing her sweet voice changed his mood. Jack Wood never thought he would have a second chance at love, let alone with someone like Kayla.
“Jack, I hate that we can’t spend the holidays together,” Kayla let out a sad sigh over the phone.
“Don’t you think I hate it too?” Jack glanced out the window of his penthouse apartment overlooking the breathtaking ocean as he held his cell to his ear. It was the perks of working as the security director behind the scenes in a luxurious hotel. He used everything he learned in the Army as a Cyber Operation Specialist to his advantage. Kayla knew why he couldn't step a foot on US soil. Dubai was his home for the last three years. “How was thanksgiving with the family?”
“It was nice getting to see my family,” Kayla replied. “I made my famous mac and cheese, your favorite.”
“I bet it was delicious.”
“Of course. I added like five different cheeses.” She sounded so thrilled as she spoke, “I had three plates, and lets not mention how many pieces of potato and apple pie, I had.” Kayla laughed. “I hope you still want me after all the pounds I gained.”
Jack chuckled imagining her stuffing her face. “I don't think there will ever be a time I wouldn't want you. If you gained weight, I would have you doing some laps around the hotel.”
“Funny,” she replied sarcastically.
Childhood memories of thanksgiving resurfaced. He would wake up and the entire house would smell like a bakery. His mother would let him and his siblings enjoy the cake batter and cookie dough on the plastic spoons and bowls when she was done mixing them up. Jack could actually smell his mother’s pumpkin pie right now. “Did you decorate your house for Christmas?” Kayla shared her time between the US and Dubai. He wished she would just stay with him, instead of having to travel back and forth so much. It had taking a toll on their relationship and he hadn’t seen her in months. The longest she’d been away from him since they met was a month and a half and always during the damn holidays.
“Yes,” she answered excited. “Tammy helped me pick a tree out yesterday. I’ll send you pictures.” Tammy Garcia was Kayla's best friend, they'd met in middle school and ever since, they had practically become sisters. They were total opposites. Before Jack met Kayla, she was a thrill seeker, always getting Tammy mixed up in some kind of adventure.
“I can’t wait to see.” Jack smiled. He wished he could spend Christmas with Kayla, this would be the eighth one he spent alone, but the last two years, Kayla had surprised him on New Year’s.
“My mom is coming to spend Christmas with me. I wish you could meet her.”
“Me too.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Did you get my surprise?”
“The flowers are beautiful,” she replied. “Jack, you don’t have to shower me with gifts, I already love you.”
Her life had been turned upside down because of him. She quit her job to help Jack survive. Kayla made so many sacrifices for him, even getting a job at the US embassy to help him obtain his documents. One day soon, he hoped to repay her in full.
Still something seemed off with Kayla since she’d left. He was afraid of losing her, if he had to buy her the moon, he would. She didn’t video call him as much and sometimes, she rushed him off the phone. Jack wondered sometimes, if she had someone else back home and didn't know how to tell him.
“I have a big gift for you too. I can’t wait to see your face when you see it.” Her voice lowered as if she was disappointed.
“We'll celebrate when you come back.” Jake placed his feet on his desk, and crossed his ankles. He missed home, but he couldn’t complain about his new life. He had anything his heart desired at the tips of his fingers. “Are you coming back before the new year? I miss you.”
“I won’t be able to make it in time,” she sadly announced.
“Why?”
“I don’t have the money, or the energy to keep going back and forth to Dubai. It’s tiring Jack.” Kayla was a smart woman with many talents. She had worked as an HR advisor for a company with businesses in the US and Dubai. “And Ben needs my help with a couple of issues he’s having at the company.”
“Ben!” He slammed his fist on his desk. “When doesn't he need your help?” Jack didn't know the man personally, but he didn't like him. He knew Ben Miller wanted more than a boss and employee relationship with his Kayla. He would enlist her skills whenever she went home.
“It helps pay my bills,” Kayla said as a matter of fact. “Ben has been very understanding, letting me work whenever I’m on this side of the world.”
“You don’t have to work.”
“Please, don’t start on that subject again,” she huffed.
Jack didn’t agree with her working, but he learned his lesson when he interfered in her getting a job in Dubai a long time ago. Kayla almost packed all her stuff and threatened to leave if he dared to hinder her in obtaining employment again.
“I just needed to save up a little bit more, and then I will be back.”
Jack combed his fingers through his already wild hair. He needed Kayla here with him, not thousands of miles away. She was the only family he had now. “Why don’t you just relocate here with me? I’ll pay for your move.” She wouldn’t have to lift a finger if it was up to him. He would support her financially and emotionally.
“You’re not paying for anything.” Kayla sounded insulted. “I already practically live in Dubai with you already.” She raised her voice. “I want us be a real family in the US. I don’t want to sneak around anymore, afraid that someone will finally notice you. I can’t even tell my family that I’m madly in love with you, because you’re a damn ghost.”
Was she really getting mad because they weren’t sharing the holidays together, and it wasn’t the first time? “Kayla, I wish I could spend the holidays with you.”
“Stop wishing and act,” she said agitated. “This has nothing to do with the holidays or Ben. You made me a promise and now you’re trying to back out.”
“That’s not it.” Jack missed waking up with his arms wrapped around Kayla. He wasn’t complete if she wasn’t by his side. “I haven’t seen you in months.”
She went silent for a few seconds. “And your family hasn’t seen you in almost eight years. Don't you think it's time for you to let everyone who loves you know that you're alive?”
“You know, I can’t.” He gripped his phone. “I will not be the reason they suffer again.”
“Suffer?” She huffed. “How? To find out that their little boy is still alive. The casket they assumed you were buried in couldn’t be opened because the body was unrecognizable. They didn’t even get to properly say goodbye.”
“I didn’t set out for them to think I was dead,” Jack huffed. “I assume my family thought I was a prisoner of war all those years I was missing.”
“But babe, you weren’t.” Her voice softened. “The military made a mistake and it isn’t the first or last time. What about the poor soul with your dog tags?”
He could hear the emotion in her voice.
“Jack, you’re alive instead of six feet underground. In the years that you’ve been gone, have you stopped and thought about his family? They are still holding on to hope that their son is still alive because his body was nowhere to be found, when in actuality he is laying in a grave with your name engraved on the tombstone?” She sniffled. “Why were your dog tags found around his limbs?”
“Kayla…” Jack hated talking about his past and everything he left behind. He remembered seeing James’ body blown to pieces right in front of him. There was no way anyone would be able to identify him unless they were at the scene before the explosion. Memories hit him like a ton of bricks of the day that changed his life forever. Everybody else in the Humvee died instantly, even him for a few seconds. Jack couldn’t breathe as he searched through the debris and ashes, his head, neck and hands had been covered in blood. He remembered thinking he wasn’t going to make it out alive. A group of armed men snatched his helpless body. Then without thinking, Jack grabbed his dog tags and threw them as far as he could, hoping that the rescue team would find them and know someone else was there. They dragged Jack’s body through the debris and body parts on the dirty road. The last thing he remembered was waking up being yelled at by Afghan Taliban’s. “I don’t want to remember.”
Jack waited days, months and years for someone to find him, but it never happened. He was kept in isolation and caged like an animal, and fed when they felt like feeding him. He tried escaping a few times, but was unsuccessful and then was rewarded with beatings. They tried beating him for information, but he would never betray his country, so he did what he needed to. Jack lied and told them he couldn’t remember his name or where he was from.
He felt abandoned by his country until he learned the truth five years later, when he woke up in a fucking dark hole. The men interrogated him, keeping him hostage but he had nothing to say. The insurgents beat him unconscious many times when he wouldn’t cooperate. Jack didn’t get any medical attention, he used what he learned in basic training to survive and took care of his injuries during his time under their abuse. They gave him food from time to time, just to keep him alive. One day, he heard a lot of commotion and then gunshots around where they had him.
They ran inside the room and grabbed him while yelling words he couldn’t understand. He must have become a burden for them, because they took him out of the cage and threw him in a hole. That was the day Kayla found him hidden in a hole where he was left to die alone. She was in Afghanistan on one of her crazy missionary endeavors. She practically nursed him back to health after she found him with the help of children from the small village. He was suffering from malnutrition, practically starving and hallucinating by the time she and the kids located him. He remembered the first time he looked at himself in a mirror after five long fucking years, he’d lost so much weight he was unrecognizable. Jack’s hair had been matted falling below his shoulders and his rough beard had grown just as long. Kayla was right, he did resemble those pictures of Jesus in most churches. Looking back in time, he couldn’t believe he lived five years in captivity. Most of the days were a blur. Not remembering the worst years of his life had been a blessing in itself.
He’d seen an American therapist in Dubai, it helped a bit, but Jack couldn’t be completely honest with the man. Kayla was the only counselor he needed. At first, he thought his feelings for her were based on her being the person that saved him, but it wasn’t. Kayla wasn’t the kind of woman he’d been attracted to in the past, she was more his brother’s type. Jack didn’t have a racist bone in his body. He’d never been physically attracted to African-American women, until he woke up in Kayla’s arms. The way she nurtured him back from the brink of darkness without asking for anything in return.
Jack closed his eyes and smiled as visions of Kayla haunted him. Every time her deep set, milk chocolate eyes enclosed by the longest lashes he’d ever seen gazed at him, he’d become hypnotized. The woman imprinted herself in his heart without him even knowing it. He loved rubbing lotion on her silky toasted brown skin, from her slender neck down to her pedicured toes. Kayla’s beauty was skin deep, she didn’t need make-up or gimmicks to turn him on. Rabbo Abadi, his partner in crime, couldn’t understand what he saw in Kayla. He claimed she was too plain and crazy for a man like Jack, however Rabbo didn’t understand that Jack wasn’t into looks as much as he was into a deeper connection. That’s what he had with Kayla.
“You swore you would reveal yourself to your family after seven years of your presumed death.” Kayla sighed over the phone. “And I understood, because after seven years, they don’t have to repay the military insurance and benefits. Now what’s your excuse?”
Jack didn’t have an answer, because she was right. They were supposed to show up for Christmas last year, but at the last-minute, Jack backed out. “I don’t want to turn their life upside down, they didn’t ask for this.”
“You didn’t either. You’ve come a very long way from the man I found in a well. Jack, you’ve made a life for yourself, you even take care of Melissa from afar. You’re doing so much better than I ever imagined.”
The relationship between Kayla and him, evolved over the years out of the blue. One minute she was his nurse, then his friend, and then she turned into his confidant and lover. Jack hid his feelings for Kayla, remembering the vows he took with Cindy. He was finally strong enough to make sense of everything that happened to him. He’d logged into Kayla’s computer and looked up his family. His heart sank when he saw everything he’d missed in the years he’d been gone. Including the death of his grandfather. Tears ran down his cheeks and Kayla had left the room. He continued to scroll through all his loved one’s Facebook. His heart broke to pieces when he saw a picture of Cindy on her wedding day to a guy named Carter. His wife and daughter were glowing, Cindy looked the happiest he’d ever seen her. He read all of Cindy and Melissa’s Facebook timelines as far as he could go, and he was never once mentioned—not even on his birthday. On that day, Jack decided to leave his life behind and start a new one with Kayla. He opened his heart to Kayla and the rest was history. The love he felt for her didn’t compare to any emotion he’d ever felt for any other woman, including his wife.
After Jack left Kayla hanging last year, she still went to his hometown and somehow managed to get pictures of his family. His parents first met Kayla as a new visitor in their home church last Christmas. The whole family attended the service on Sunday. It was a tradition for the entire family to go back home and get together to celebrate Christmas, and she sneaked in a few pictures of his brother Jeremy and his family, his sister Carol and her boys then Cindy and Melissa.
Kayla was just like him, a little scammer. She told his family that she’d served in the Army with him and he’d given her something to give to his daughter, if something would’ve happened to him. They were a bit skeptical as to why she’d waited almost seven years to find them. She explained that she wasn’t sure how to approach them, after she found the box and envelope.
Jack shook his head when she mentioned what she’d done last year when she went home. Kayla handed his mother a box with letters he’d written to Melissa and his parents. She said his mother gasped when she uncovered the lid to the box, and tears ran down her face when she saw his handwriting on the letters that dated back to when he was fighting amongst his brothers and sisters, and then broke down crying as she read one of his letters out loud. His whole family were in tears and after they embraced Kayla, thanking her for bringing back a piece of Jacky.
Kayla had told him his sister-in-law Malanie had stared at her with suspicion, but never said a word. They embraced her and his mom instantly bonded with Kayla, because of his memories. Since that day, his mother occasionally called Kayla. When Jack was feeling down, Kayla would call his parent’s house and place the call on speaker, so he could hear their voices. A few times his baby girl was over his parents’ house and Kayla would talk to her and ask her questions. Kayla introduced him to his own family as her boyfriend. All he would say was hello and bye, afraid they would recognize his voice, but he would interject himself in Kayla and Melissa’s conversations. Jack wanted to scream, I love you, pumpkin.
Jack sent his daughter birthday cards and Christmas presents in Kayla’s name for the last two years and occasionally, he would send her flowers. He’d opened an account for Melissa with Kayla’s help, making sure to manipulate the opening date with his computer skills.
“Look how far you’ve come in almost three years, Jack. I’m so proud of you and they will be too,” Kayla interjected in his thoughts.
“Because of you…” It was her love, nurturing and understanding. If it wasn’t for her, he would be dead or to the brink of insanity. “Kayla, I need you…”
“You don’t really need me, Jack. You’re doing so well on your own.” She paused. “You are one of the strongest men I’ve ever met. You’ve been through so much and you’re still standing.” Kayla sobbed, and continued, “I can’t continue to live like this. I love you, but my family and life is in the states.”
“Baby, please don’t cry,” Jack kicked himself every time he hurt her. “I would do anything for you, but babe I can’t move back to the states right now.”
“You can’t or you—won’t?” Her voice cracked.
Jack placed his feet on the ground clenching his jaw. His past hurt too much to revisit. “I miss my family more than you’ll ever know.” There was nothing he didn’t share with Kayla. She knew everything about him, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t tell her. She also didn’t hold back when it came to him.
“What about your daughter, Jack? Don’t you think she deserves to know her dad is alive?” Kayla asked.
His heart ached at the mention of Melissa. “She doesn’t remember me?” Jack wasn't the same person who left the United States to serve his country. “Baby girl, can’t miss something she never had.” How could he go back home after everyone thought he'd been dead all those years? Jack started his life over, but not a day went by that he didn't think of his wife and his little girl, Melissa. She was now nine years old. They were better off thinking he was dead. His family were entitled to his insurance and benefits, if he would’ve returned, it would’ve ruined everything for them, starting with their new life. Cindy had remarried a year after he was captured, and now had two more kids. He lost his family and past, but gained Kayla and a new future. Melissa seemed happy, she even called her stepfather daddy.
“I didn’t grow up with my father,” Kayla reminded him. The death of her father had affected her deeply. “And I can tell you that you’re wrong.”
Kayla had done so much for him and she’d taken so many risks because of him. She’d helped him escape, and managed to smuggle him out on a missionary plane headed to Dubai, where he made a new life for himself as Moses Smith. He used the skills he’d learned in the Army to his advantage. Jack was now a successful Security Director for one of the most luxurious hotels in Dubai. He and Rabbo did a few illegal things to get by, including hacking and manipulating a few programs that added some figures into their bank accounts and their bosses. With the help of Rabbo and Kayla, he’d attained his new identity, down to certified birth certificate.
Jack smiled staring at the pictures he’d printed of his parents, his daughter, her mother, and Jeremy’s family with his high school love. Who would’ve thought they would find each other, get married and be happy. As a child, he prayed Malanie would return after she left his niece Alanie on his parent’s front door. Thank God, she did come back. He tried forgetting his past, but Kayla wouldn’t allow him to. She helped him hack into a teen program where he could see his daughter’s daily posts and pictures. Jack saw his daughter grow in the last three years from miles away, he didn’t miss a day.
“Melissa’s your daughter!” she yelled getting his attention. “The fact that you can’t seem to see how this will affect her bothers me. What if we had a baby?” Her cries got louder. “Would you come home?”
Jack eyebrows met in confusion. “What… where did that come from?” Her sobs were becoming uncontrollable. “Babe, please don’t cry…” Where was this coming from?
“I’m tired of living this way,” Kayla divulged again. “It’s time for you to decide who you want to be, Jack Wood or Moses Smith?” she said before hanging up on him.
He placed the phone back on its cradle and leaned back in his leather chair. It was times like these that he missed his talks with his father and Jeremy. Kayla didn’t realize how many times, he’d dialed his parent’s number and heard them say hello before he coward out and hung up, he even called Jeremy a time or two. Now he covered his face with his hands. Kayla didn’t understand why he stayed away, and she would probably never get it. He didn’t want to cause any more grief, Jack wasn’t the same naïve man that left home at eighteen and married Cindy straight out of boot camp. He was now a borderline criminal, and he loved it.
Jack stood and picked up one of the framed pictures of his little girl. “Every day I miss you more and more princess, but you’re happy.” He glanced at his wall filled with pictures of Melissa from the age of one up to her ninth birthday. He sacrificed his own happiness for Cindy’s and Melissa’s. Jack was afraid that his family wasn’t going to understand why he didn’t come back to them after he was safely away from the enemy. They wouldn’t comprehend that he’d needed to regain himself before letting everyone know. And what about the family still holding on to hope that James would come back home? If he decided to reveal himself, then James’ family would suffer the death of their son. What if someone was watching him, waiting for him to go back home and decide to do harm to his family? Jack was paranoid, but who could blame him after all the fucking shit he’d been through? Mistreated, caged like a fucking animal, and thrown in a well, left for dead just because he was an American Soldier.
His head started to throb, so he placed the frame down and walked into the massive kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of whisky and shot glass off the counter, he served himself a shot. He would give up everything he had to turn back the hands of time. He took the shot and clenched his jaw as the warm liquid traveled down his throat, slamming the glass on the marble counter. If he were to choose to turn back the hands of time, he wouldn’t have known what true love really felt like. Jack was torn between the life he had, and the life he’d built for himself. Was he willing to throw everything he built with Kayla out the window? She was right, his family deserved to know the truth. He placed his palms on the counter and cracked his neck. Those motherfuckers took him from everybody he loved, leaving him alone and helpless, and now Kayla was threating to end their relationship too. She was the only thing keeping him sane and without her, he would completely lose it.
“Jack,” Rabbo walked in the penthouse without knocking causing Jack to glare at him. The Arabian man was tall and muscular, just like him. He motivated Jack to get up and get out of the house, to live again. Rabbo forced him to work out every morning making him stronger.
“How many fucking times, do I have to tell you to call me Moses? Someone could hear you and learn to fucking knock before walking into my place.” Jack roared ambling back to his office. Thinking about the past and his family made him sad and upset. The guilt was eating him inside. “What do you want?” He owed his friend for introducing him to this world and now he felt bad about yelling at him.
“An apology.” Rabbo followed behind him. “You have never said knock,” he voiced in his broken English. “What got your panty in a twist? Is that how you say it?”
“You’ve been hanging around Kayla a little too much.” Jack sat down behind his desk. “Sit.” He pointed at the chair.
“Are you thinking about your family?” Rabbo glanced at the pictures on the wall. “Instead of taking your guilt on me, you should—”
Jack raised his hand stopping him. “Did you wire the money?” He opened his computer and logged in.
“Yes.” Rabbo finally sat in front of Jack. “If they find out what we’re doing, we are dead.”
“I’m already dead.” Jack leaned forward looking at his Arabian friend. “If something happens to us, Kayla and Tammy are set for life.” Those two women risked it all for him and he would do the same. “We’ll misplace a few dollars here and there for a few more months.”
Rabbo watched him closely. “Do you know what I would give to see my family again?”
Jack hated these conversations, first Kayla and now Rabbo. Rabbo’s family was killed in Iraq a couple of years ago, he and his father were the only ones who survived. Jack was blessed and cursed at the same time.
Rabbo picked up the office phone. “All you have to do is say hello.”
Jack grabbed the phone out of his hand and returned it on the cradle. “Mind your fucking business.”
“When is Kayla coming back? Because you need to get laid pronto.” Rabbo raised his eyebrow.
“According to her, she’s not coming back.” Jack turned his chair around looking into the sky.
“What!” Rabbo jumped out of the chair. “The hell she isn’t. I can’t be alone with you like this. She knows how to calm you down.”
He continued staring at the clouds. Rabbo was right, Kayla was the only one that knew his triggers and all his moods.
“Why isn’t she coming back?”
“Her life is in the states,” Jack mentioned.
“It took her three years to know,” Rabbo said sarcastically. “I’m calling her.”
“Be my guest.” Jack shook his head. He knew Kayla wasn’t going to answer her cell, one because she was pissed and second, because it was Rabbo calling.
“Kayla, I don’t know what’s going on, but you can’t leave my friend hanging like this. I need you to come back.” Rabbo swiped his cell screen. “You are not good without her.”
“I’m good without Kayla, but I’m great with her,” Jack disclosed. “We need to figure out how to get into their security system.”
“Like you did with your…is it wife or ex-wife’s house?” Rabbo joked.
“Legally I’m dead, she could marry whomever she wants. So, technically, she’s my ex-wife by death.” Jack had tapped into Cindy’s security alarm system and would watch her family from the camera located outside the front and back door. It was an invasion of their privacy, but he needed to see Melissa. His little girl would play in the backyard almost every day and he watched her like he was watching a movie. It was creepy, but this was his connection to his little girl.
Jack rapidly turned when he heard the phone ring. “What are you doing?”
“Hello,” a woman answered. “Hello,” it was his mother’s angelic voice.
“Ma’am,” Rabbo replied. “Sorry, wrong number.”
“Whoever, this is, stop playing on my phone,” she huffed before hanging up.
“What the fuck!” Jack hollered. He wasn’t going to admit it, but hearing his mother’s voice made him feel like a child again. “Don’t you ever do that again!” The only person allowed to call his family was Kayla.
“Fuck you.” Rabbo stood. “I’ll come back when you are ready to give an apology.” He stalked out the office, leaving Jack staring at the phone as it rang.