CJ

"How the fucking hell do I work it Buster, I don't want to delete any messages I just want to listen to them." I was getting agitated and knew that I was taking it out on the wrong person but I really wanted to hear the message that Charity had left. It wasn't that I didn't trust her, I just wanted to dot the i's and cross the t's and give me my own peace of mind.
Buster stepped back silently and crossed his arms. I shrugged and shook my head, "What you doing?" I asked confused by his actions.
"CJ I'm trying to help and all you're doing is shouting at me," I could see the pressure he was under from my demands.
"That's fine leave it I'll do it my fucking self," I grabbed the answer machine and started to press the buttons.
"CJ give it here I'll do it for you but I can't do it if you're watching me as you're making me nervous."
"No that's fine it must be this button," I pressed the play and held it down for a couple of seconds like I'd seen in the manual.
'Delete all messages'
"Noooooo I don't want to do that," I pressed the stop button hoping that it would stop deleting but the answer machine let off a loud beep indicating that it had wiped all of the messages.
"FUCK!" I threw the machine at the wall and as it reached the floor, it had broken into several pieces. Buster quickly left the room as I stood and kicked the bin before turning my attention to the chair. I was in a self destruct mode, I needed to hurt someone or something as I couldn't cope with all the emotions, I was feeling right now.
Since returning from the Midlands earlier I'd had a quick chat with James and he said it was perfectly normal that although I felt like I'd dealt with the situation by dealing with Onyx, my possible relationship with Keira and a whole lot of other issues may be adding to the way I was feeling right now. James just simply called it grief and informed me that it was normal but it could just take some time for me to snap out of these mood swings.

"Are you scaring the prospects again?" I turned to see Duke and Diesel peering in to the office and rolled my eyes at their comments. I wasn't in the mood for them this evening that was for sure.
"I take it that you couldn't get it to work then?" Diesel asked looking at the mangled machine on the floor.
I rubbed my hands over my head in frustration, "No."
"But what I can't understand was why it was so important?" Duke stepped into the room and placed his hand on my shoulder giving me a reassuring squeeze.
"I just wanted to hear it, I know it wasn't Locke it was only Charity talking but I just wanted to make a little more sense of that evening."
"Sorry to interrupt guys," the three of us turned around to see Jay at the door.
"No, you're okay mate I'm just being fucking stupid as usual. What's up?"
"You're gonna want to hear this," he turned and walked down the corridor leaving the three of us looking between each other confused.
"I think he wants us to follow him," I sniggered.

As we entered the bar, I noticed a group of brothers had congregated around Charity as she sat on a chair holding her phone. Keira had been crying and I rushed to her side holding her at arm's length so I could assess her, "Is everything okay?"
She nodded and pointed to Charity, the group all had sombre faces and I didn't like the secrecy.
"Does someone want to let me in on what's going on?" I let go of my hold on Keira and glanced at the group before fixing my stare on Charity. She couldn't make eye contact and I started to fear that my doubts were true.
"CJ sit down and listen before you jump to conclusions," I glanced at Jay who indicated at the chair for me to sit in.
I did as I was told and sat opposite Charity and rested my arms on the table, she placed her phone in front of me and pressed play.

"Locke I haven't got long." It was Charity and she was speaking to Locke.
"Slow it down babe, what's the matter?" I felt coldness at the back of my neck as his voice rang clear in my ears.
"They know, they know everything."
There was a slight pause before he spoke again, "Do they know who I really am?"
"Yes and they're gonna hurt you, I heard them talking." I heard the panic in her voice as she informed him.
"How long have I got?"
"What?"
"How long have I got Charity, you need to be clear."
"It's gonna happen soon, probably within the next three days."
"Okay."
"What do you mean okay?" Charity was clearly confused by his response and so was I.
"There's no point stressing, what will be will be."
"They're going to hurt you...possibly worse."
"Time is precious babe, I need to spend what time I do have with the people I love most."
"And that's your response."
"I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you've told me, you're a good girl Charity but I'm good babe I promise you that. I've got a certain amount of closure and I know if anything happens to me, CJ has my back and will look after my old lady."
Weeping could be heard coming from Charity, "Stop it now. It's all good but promise me when CJ comes looking for closure you befriend him and get the hell out of there. The ACES will look after you, they're family."
"I've gotta go," Charity whispered.
"Remember what I said babe, get out of there before it's too late. Stay safe."

The room fell silent as Charity pressed stop on the recording but I couldn't be doing with the silence. I drummed my fingers on the table as I contemplated what was said, his words buzzed around my head repeatedly and although I didn't agree with some of his actions he was right about spending what time he did have with the people he loved. He acted selflessly and I didn't know if I could've been the bigger man and acted the way he did.
Keira stood beside me and I sat back in the chair extending my arm, inviting her to sit on my lap. She smiled and sat down placing her hands onto her tummy as she got comfortable.
"I think this means we need a drink," Duke swirled his finger around indicating what he wanted and Cade nodded as he busied himself grabbing glasses and bottles of drinks.
Jay stood behind me and rested his hand on my shoulder, I turned to face him.
"How you doing?" he asked almost nervous of my reaction.
I placed my hand on top of his, "I'm okay mate. It took me a little by surprise but I feel like I sort of understand a little better now."
Jayden nodded before turning to accept a drink from the tray. Buster lowered it to me so I could also take a shot of Jack and he passed an orange juice to Keira and Charity.
"Right has everyone got a drink?" There were various replies but no one had said no. "Okay, well I want you all to raise your glasses and think about a man that brought so much into our lives. Happiness, excitement, love and even annoyance, anger and frustration." The crowd sniggered at his words knowing that he was probably thinking of the last three words from his own experiences with Locke. "They may not have been his last words but it is a reminder of who he was and what he believed in and that was love, honour and family. So I would like to raise a toast to that, love, honour and family."
"Love, honour and family!" The group repeated.
"Now let's get some fucking tunes on before we all start getting depressed." Diesel clapped his hands gaining Cade's attention and he turned around to sort out the stereo behind the bar.

There was a flurry of activity and I was pleased that people moved away from Keira and I so I could finally have a word with her. This wasn't the right time or place for a deep meaningful conversation but I just wanted a quiet word especially after what we'd just heard.
"How you feeling sweetness?" I wrapped my arm around her to place my hand over hers on her tummy.
"I'm like you, it was a shock but I'm pleased that I now know his thought process."
"He loved you babe, with all his heart."
"I know that and I was very fortunate to have met him."
"Without a doubt."
"He knew that you'd look out for me, I don't think he was thinking in this capacity though," she wiggled her finger between the two of us making me smile.
"No, I don't suppose he did but we don't need to rush this babe. It is what it is, I'm not going anywhere and I stand by my words, I'll be here to look after you and the baby. If it develops into more than just a friendship then I'm a very lucky boy and if we remain friends then I'm still a lucky boy as I'll have you and junior in my life." Keira smiled and leaned closer to place a chaste kiss on my forehead.
"No I'm the lucky girl."