My brother, Evan’s, voice echoed around me, begging me to stay with him and pulling me into the dark. I fought through the blackness surrounding me until I saw a glimpse of his sweet face. His shaggy hair was falling into his eyes and his smile was so bright it was pushing away the inky fog and bringing forth white effervescent light.

Forgetting everything going on around me—the suffering and James’s betrayal—I reached out to Evan. His hand was almost in mine, his fingertips brushing against my palm, but before I could grip onto him, I was jerked away. I traveled through the black and broke through the surface with a gasp of breath. I blinked against the light as I was pulled back into reality.

 “Evan!” I screamed as hot pain slashed through me. “No! Please, Evan!”

My lungs burned like red coals had settled at the bottom of them and my voice cracked.

Broken.

Strained.

Tingling and numbness moved through most of my body, but the parts that weren’t numb shrieked in pain, making me cry out once more. Everything was hot yet I was freezing. My body quaked and my teeth chattered as I tried to blink away my blurry vision. Sweat beaded and slid down the sides my forehead before collecting along my hairline.

James floated above me, his icy hands digging into my upper arms as he imprisoned my body to the rug beneath me. His crimson eyes were wide as he looked down at me and his fangs were out. Blood that I was sure was my own dripped from his lips, splashing against my cheek.

Memories of the attack started to come clearly into my mind as the dark fog thinned and cleared, making me want to shriek yet again. But when I tried, my throat filled with fluid and I began to choke on what I knew was my own blood. The metallic flavor of my life spread across my tongue and I coughed again, gasping for air through the overflow of blood rushing up the back of my throat.

I couldn’t breathe.

Anything that was tingling before was now numb and the pain had somehow disappeared.

That wasn’t a good sign.

I was dying.

Panic filled me just as my body began to quake against James’s hold.

“Harley,” James called my name.

My eyes settled on his face again, taking in the blood splatter around his mouth before landing on his red eyes.

“I need you to calm down, okay?”

Calm down?

How was I supposed to calm down after I had been ripped to pieces and practically drained?

How was I supposed to calm down when I was so close to death?

I could practically feel death stroking my skin, whispering its deception as it welcomed me into its cold and empty arms.

James released one of my arms and lifted his free arm to his mouth before biting into his wrist and ripping his flesh open. A crimson wave oozed from the wound, pouring down his arm and splashing against my skin.

His blood was cold as it dripped across my cheek when he held his wrist above my face. I attempted to wiggle and get away, but I couldn’t move. Instead, I turned my face away from the blood, hoping that I’d die with dignity. James was too strong and I was too weak and on the brink of the end.

Then he shocked me when he smashed his bloody wrist to my mouth. His blood began to pool into my mouth and I tried to reject it. It sputtered down the sides of my lips, collected in the corners of my mouth before spilling over and rushing down onto the sides of my neck.

I pressed my lips together to keep the blood out, moaning in confusion and disgust, but the cold liquid managed to breach my sealed lips and rolled across my tongue before filling my mouth.

The chilly liquid filled my mouth once again and I gagged.

His blood tasted different from my own, and instead of the metallic bland flavor, it was sweet and ice-cold.

My eyes connected with his, mine wide in confusion and fear and his wide with hunger and something I didn’t quite understand.

“Swallow it, Harley. If you don’t drink you’ll die.”

I shook my head with determination, and the action continued to smear his icy blood across my face.

“Harley,” he snapped. “Drink it or die.”

I was weak.

My body numb.

I couldn’t move my legs and my arms were dead weight at my sides. He didn’t even have to hold me down anymore.

“I don’t want to be a vampire,” I said, and the rusty words pushed past the blood that was choking me.

Mine and his.

“You won’t. My blood will heal you.”

His words penetrated through my panic and I knew I had a decision to make at that moment.

Either I was going to let death claim me and welcome me in its black embrace, pulling me away from the here and now, or I was going to live. I was going to do what James asked of me and continue with my life; what little bit of life I had.

But really what was I living for?

All I did was run.

Scavenge.

Fight.

Survive.

It was the only way I’d ever known, but it was no way to live.

I was exhausted, and I wasn’t sure I had it in me to keep going, but at the same time I felt like giving up so easily was disrespecting the memories of my family. They had fought so hard to keep the life they had, whether it was a struggle every day or not.

How could I not fight, as well?

They would want me to keep going.

They would want me to live.

Closing my eyes, I let the faces of my loved ones play on repeat through my mind until finally, I made my decision.

I opened my mouth for him, letting the frigid blood flow freely onto my tongue and then I closed my lips over his wound and sucked, drinking his blood and swallowing the cold fluid like a refreshing drink.

The more I drank, the more the feeling in my body slowly returned.

First, there was tingling in places that were once numb, and then as if by a miracle, I could move my arms.

I latched onto his arm, grabbing onto life with greedy hands, and I held his wrist to my lips and I drank him in. I resisted the urge to gag when I thought about what I was doing, knowing I was basically feeding on a monster’s open wound, but knowing it was somehow bringing me back from the brink of death made it easier.

My body began to burn, but nothing like the burn I felt when I was being torn into two. A stinging sensation filled my wounds and a few sharp pains rocked me before the hurt slowly dissipated.

He wasn’t lying.

He really was healing me.

But why?

Was he toying with me?

Bringing me back just so he and his friends could continue to feast on me.

Was I a walking buffet that constantly replenished itself?

His eyes moved across my face, and his expression was different. The monster from before was gone, and in his stead was a man full of sorrow and regret.

Worry etched his brow and his scarlet eyes were transformed into a strange blue tone.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let my guard down.”

I had no idea what he was talking about.

Instead, I continued to drink from him, relishing in the feel of my broken body and torn flesh miraculously returning to normal again.

His eyes shifted away from mine.

“That’s enough,” he said, slowly pulling his wrist away from my lips.

I lay there, feeling my body heal and fill with warmth and tingles.

The fire of life ignited deep within me and my pulse kicked into overdrive sending my adrenaline through the roof.

He was there and then he was gone, leaving me lying alone in the room where I’d almost been murdered.

I sat up slowly, sure that I would feel excruciating pain with even the smallest amount of movement, but to my surprise, there was none.

Lifting my hands, I stared down at the blood coating my fingers before my eyes moved down and over my shredded clothing. Scarlet splatters covered every inch of the room around me as I sank my palm into the red soaked white shag rug beneath me.

I wanted to get up and run, but even though my mind felt stronger, my body still somehow lacked the strength I needed to do that.

I was healed, but I was still weak.

Again, I took in the room around me, still unsure of what had occurred. The room, which had been all white and perfectly decorated before, was a mess. Things were tossed around the room. Broken furniture littered the space around me, and everything that had once been pure white before was now covered in red.

“You need to rest to completely heal,” James said from the door making me jump and gasp in surprise.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I fetched you a can of the peaches you seem to crave.” He spoke softly as if he were afraid to scare me again.

Confusion swept through me once again as I let my eyes scan the space around me.

Where was the vampire who began the attack?

Why did he leave before finishing me off?

Then I saw him.

Or at least what remained of him.

His body was lying in the corner slumped over, but his body wasn’t complete. His head wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Instead, I found it across the room on top of the dresser. His face was pale, even for a vampire, as if he were withering into nothing.

“Are you okay?” James asked, dragging my attention back to him.

I was still in shock, but slowly things were coming back to me.

The vampire had attacked me and then James had joined him. At least that what it seemed like, but if that were the case, why had James killed the other vampire?

And why hadn’t he killed me?

“No. I’m definitely not okay. You just… he just…”

James moved toward me, making me stiffen. Uncertainty swept across his expression before he kneeled in front of me.

“If I didn’t kill him he would’ve never stopped. It was either you or him.”

Again, his words didn’t help me feel any better. All I could remember were James’s red eyes and his fangs coming for me.

“But you were helping him. You attacked me. I saw your eyes… your fangs.”

He shook his head. “You’re mistaken. It wasn’t you I was attacking. It was him. And as far as my fangs go, I’m a vampire, Harley. There was fresh blood everywhere… your blood. I couldn’t help it, but I did control it, which is a miracle.”

“You weren’t trying to kill me?”

The side of his mouth lifted in an uncomfortable grin. “No. If I had been trying to kill you, you wouldn’t be here speaking to me now. Here,” he said, holding out an opened can of peaches and a glass of water. “Eat the peaches and drink this.”

I could barely lift my hands to take the can of peaches, much less hold the glass. My arm dropped as soon as I lifted it.

“I’m sorry. I’m still so weak.”

He nodded. “That’s understandable. You were almost dead.”

He reached into the can and pulled out a thick piece of peach and I opened my mouth, allowing him to feed me. I chewed, relieved to get rid of the taste of blood from my mouth.

The sweet flavor filled my mouth and I groaned.

Once I swallowed the peach, he held up the glass of water and helped me drink it.

Again, my eyes moved to the corner where my attacker’s body lay.

“Who was he?” I asked, nodding toward the body.

“He was no one; just someone who had no sense of self-control.”

“It seems like none of you have any sense of self-control,” I said, taking another peach slice when he offered it.

“If that were true, you’d be dead and I wouldn’t be starving right now. Anyway, he’s nothing to worry about anymore. As you can see, I dealt with him.”

He spoke as if it was all over, but I could see in his eyes that something was wrong. They shifted from me to the lifeless body in the corner to the pale, fanged head on top of the dresser. They didn’t carry the calm that the rest of his body was able to maintain.

“You’re lying,” I said. “Tell me everything, please”

“Let me worry about him. You just need to focus on yourself and regaining your strength… nothing more. I’ll take care of the rest. Finish eating and shower. After that, you should rest.”

I wanted to fight him on everything, but he was right, I needed to rest.

My body wasn’t completely healed even though all my wounds mostly were. I was still so weak.

I finished off the peaches and drank the entire glass of water. After that, I was able to drag myself up from the bloody floor. James helped me to the bathroom where I shut and locked the door behind me.

I slowly stripped the shredded clothing from my body, checking out the marks that used to be gashes with my insides coming out. Tears pushed at the back of my eyes, but I held my head high and looked at myself in the mirror. Blood streaked my face. My hair was a tangled mess. I looked as if I had just survived a bloody war, but I was alive.

I had won in some way.

I stepped under the spray of clean water and red water went down the drain as I washed the blood from my body, running my palms over the places I knew should have been shredded.

I was alive.

It was still shocking to think it, which was the main reason I kept repeating it to myself.

I had survived a vampire attack thanks to James. I realized I was more relieved about that fact than I probably should have been considering James was a vampire. I shouldn’t want to feel anything about someone like him, but I did.

I felt grateful and some other strange emotion I wasn’t ready to name yet.

Once I finished, I wrapped a towel around my body and cracked the door to the bathroom to make sure I would be alone and that’s when I saw a fresh set of clothing on the floor waiting for me, but no sign of James.

I dressed, brushed my wet hair, and went into the living room where I checked to be sure the front door was locked and secure. It was dumb, considering a door wasn’t going to keep a vampire out, but I needed all the sense of security I could get.

Collapsing onto the couch where I had been sleeping, I pulled the blanket up to my shoulders and stared at the wall across from me. It wasn’t long before I drifted off to sleep.