Over the next week, listening to music became my second favorite luxury. There were many records in the cabinet beneath the television, but the soothing sounds of Elvis Presley were the ones I played on repeat.
My love for Elvis could have also stemmed from the dance between James and myself.
His patience as he showed me the steps.
His strength as he led me around the small room.
The feel of his cold hands—one in my own hand—and the other on my hip.
It was all so intoxicating.
When I closed my eyes, I could still see the little grin he had given me while we danced. But that grin had turned into a perpetual frown since then. In the days after that first dance, he hadn’t asked me to dance again. If anything, he had pulled away completely, leaving me to my own devices in a place that was unfamiliar to me and yet more comfortable than any other place I had spent my time.
He was going out of his way to make sure there was no contact between the two of us and it was upsetting in a way. Instead of sitting with me when I ate my meals, he left me at the table alone while he stepped outside to search or check the grounds around the cabin. When I lounged on the couch while listening to the music under the cabinet, he would hide in his room while he read a book. The loss of our time together left me feeling even lonelier than I was before he found me and took me in.
I refused to let him know how he was affecting me. No matter how badly I wanted to ask him to stay and spend time with me, I was too proud. Also, it burned me inside to admit to myself, much less anyone else, that I longed to be in the company of a vampire. It felt wrong considering everything that had happened to the human race since the vampires took over.
So instead of speaking my mind or asking for the things I wanted, I sat alone in my room, hoping that James would give me the attention I needed and wanted. In a way, my longing was embarrassing, but I consoled myself with the idea that the only reason I had gotten comfortable with his presence was because I had been alone for so long. It was the only thing that made sense. It had to be the reason I craved his company so much.
I stared at my bedroom door, my curiosity getting the best of me as I wondered what he was doing on the other side. I hoped he was curious about what I was doing in my room.
Who was I kidding?
I just hoped he thought about me the way I thought about him.
Finally, my boredom got the best of me and I found myself picking through the drawers of the dressers and searching the closet. I dug out boxes of clothing and blankets and was thrilled to find a box of women’s clothing that seemed close to my size.
I hadn’t worn a dress since my mother was alive, opting instead for pants since they kept my legs warm on the occasional cool Georgia night. The fact was, women’s clothing hadn’t been useful when I was out surviving, but I had always worn things that fit my size. James’s clothes swallowed me, sometimes making it difficult to move around without getting my clothes stuck in doors or cabinets.
Pulling the clothes out of the box, my eyes settled on a pretty blue fabric. I tugged it from under the rest of the fabrics and found that it was a dress. I stood, stripping my clothes from my body and pulling the dress over my head.
It fit perfectly so I kept it on and packed the other items that would fit into the drawers so I could reach them easier.
After that, I went back to plundering in the closet, finding small boxes full of things I didn’t recognize until I came upon a white box full of packets that looked like small packages of food. Setting that box on the edge of my bed, I took my time stacking everything back into the closet neatly.
Then I was left with nothing else to do and the silence of the night outside my blocked window was making me hear things that weren’t there.
I was about to snap.
After days of James’s politeness and his absence, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had thought that by staying in my room I was punishing him, but really I was only punishing myself.
Either way, I was ready to climb the walls and I needed out of the room.
No.
I needed out of the house.
Besides, I wanted to ask James about the items I found in the closet.
Moving away from the window, I walked over to the bed I made after waking when the sun went down. James had taken the time to show me how to make a bed. It was a silly thing to worry about, but it somehow made me feel even more alive. I spent the first hour after waking making and unmaking the bed.
Picking up the box full of small packets, I held it against my chest with one arm and moved to the bedroom door. With a deep breath, I stopped before opening the door. Turning, I found my reflection in the mirror over the dresser. All the furniture in the house was something James called antique, which meant it was extremely old and mostly outdated, but I loved it.
I took myself in, my eyes scanning my hair, which was black as ever, as it hung loosely over my shoulders. It was clean and brushed and somehow I felt pretty looking at it.
I smoothed my palm down my stomach and over the blue dress. Like everything else in the cabin, it too was probably considered old and out of style, but I had never seen anything prettier. It was the color of the sky in the middle of the day and since I missed the daylight, it felt refreshing to wear it.
The bottom, the sleeves, and the center where the buttons were located were trimmed in white lace. The row of buttons holding the dress together was tiny pearls. I liked the way it made me look. I felt pretty, and I hoped that when James saw me he would think so, as well.
Turning, I opened the door, stepped into the hallway, and shut the bedroom door. I closed my eyes, took another deep breath, and then took it one step at a time. James was in the kitchen, staring out the open back door and into the dark night. When I stepped into the room he turned toward me.
He didn’t seem surprised to see me out and about, but once his attention lowered to the dress I was wearing his eyes widened a bit.
“I hope you slept well,” he said, turning his eyes away from me almost too quickly.
“I did. Thank you.” I moved deeper into the room, feeling the night air touch my calves. “I couldn’t stay in that room any longer.”
He nodded. “I’m glad,” he said, surprising me. “What’s that?” He pointed toward the box in my hand.
Seeing him standing in the doorway, looking handsome and alone, I had completely forgotten about the box in my hand.
“I found some things in my closet.”
His eyes dipped over the dress before settling on my face once again. “I can see that.”
It was frustrating that he didn’t comment further on the dress and the way I looked.
What was he thinking?
Did he hate it?
Did he like it?
“Well, I found this in there.” I moved to the small round table in the kitchen and set it down on top, removing the lid. “These were in it, but I don’t know what they are.”
Reaching in, I pulled out a few packets and held them up for him.
He moved to stand next to me and pulled out one of the packets.
“I didn’t know there was anything in that closet. I thought I cleared it out. Either way, nice find because they’re seeds.”
I gasped. “Seeds? Like for flowers or fruits and vegetables?”
The thought of fresh fruits and vegetables made my stomach grumble loudly with hunger.
He looked at me confused. “Yes. It says so right here.” His thumb moved across a set of letters.
I had figured those letters formed a word, but unfortunately, I didn’t know how to read.
I dropped my head, letting my hair cover my blazing embarrassed cheeks.
“You can’t read?” he asked, even though I was sure he knew the answer.
I shook my head.
He didn’t say anything as he dug through the box, putting the packets into two piles.
“These are vegetables and fruits.” He pointed to one pile and then the other. “And these are flowers.”
“There’s so many of them.” I moved my fingers over the packets.
“There are. Whoever purchased these seeds planned on planting a large garden.”
A garden sounded lovely.
Watching my food grow and plucking fresh fruits and vegetables from their source before biting into them; it sounded like heaven. I had picked fruits and vegetables many times in overgrown fields and the occasional garden, but rarely had they been fresh. Most were beginning to rot, but I had no problem cutting off the bad parts and eating anything that was leftover.
“I’ve seen gardens before. The best one belonged to Mr. Derry. He owned a farm and he allowed my family to seek shelter there for a week. It wasn’t a big garden, but it grew strawberries and he promised to give me some, but we had to flee before they were ripe.”
“I’m sorry, Harley,” he whispered.
I waved away his apology.
It wasn’t like he was the one who hunted us.
At least I didn’t think he was.
“Are there any strawberries in here?” I asked, looking up at him full of hope.
He stared at me, not looking at the pile, but his hand found the packet and he lifted it up to show me.
I took it, looking at the cover and asked, “Will you help me plant them? All of them?” I looked up at him, my eyes moving across his sad expression. “Please?”
I had no idea how long we were going to be at the cabin, and I was sure I would never get the chance to see the things grow, but I didn’t care. Even if I didn’t get to taste the freshness of the fruits and vegetables, I could only hope another survivor would find the garden and be able to enjoy its produce.
“Yes. I’ll help you.” Again his eyes moved over my face, pausing at my eyes and holding them hostage in his gaze.
Without looking away, I smiled up at him. “Thank you, James.”
And I meant it.
I was so grateful for everything.
He was quiet and reserved, but he had helped me so much already. He had given me more in the short amount of time since he had first taken me in than I had ever had in my entire life.
The security.
The comfort.
And I supposed a bit of companionship and friendship.
Not to mention, the warm feelings I couldn’t quite explain that spread through me whenever he was near.
The idea of spending time with him outside and planting something that would have a future left me feeling strange. I didn’t hate it. There may never be a future for James and me, but the things we left behind in the Earth would blossom. Somehow that was enough for me at that moment.
My heart was pounding and my fingers shook. It occurred to me that it was the first time my heart was beating quickly with excitement and not fear. I wasn’t worried about what was going to happen. I was looking forward to it. Being with James was making me happy, and as much as I tried to fight it, I couldn’t anymore.
I was falling for a vampire and I wasn’t sure I could stop those feelings if I wanted to.