Mikey
I’m worried about Shelly and can’t wait for them to get here. I haven’t spoken to her other than a text message since she got out of work last night. I left her a message asking her to call me, but all I got was a text at three-thirty saying it was a long night at work, but she’s on her way home. It may be time for me to tell her about the dangers lurking around her neighborhood. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I worked my ass off last night to stay occupied, but it was really hard to focus with her out on her own.
It’s almost noon. Shelly is due here any minute and the wait is killing me. I’m antsy over their safety and I can’t wait for Ryker to see his new room. There’s a knock at the door that causes me to jump, but I’m thrilled because they are finally here. I hurry over and pull the door open with a huge grin on my face. Shelly and Ryker are both standing there with huge grins on their faces. “Hey, baby.” I take her hand and pull them both into the house, closing the door and locking it behind me.
She presses a kiss to my lips. “Hello.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “I missed you last night.”
“I missed you too.”
“I wanna see my room.” little man pulls on my shirt, interrupting our moment.
I squat down. “Sorry, little man. How are you?”
“I’m good. I’m excited to see my room.”
I love this kid’s soft raspy voice. I throw my head back in laughter. “Okay, let’s show you the entire house.” I point out the living room and kitchen, and though I can see his eyes are wide with amazement seeing how two of my rooms are about the size of his entire apartment, I can also see he’s bored.
He lets out a long, exaggerated huff. “So, where do I sleep?” he asks, confused.
“You, my friend, sleep over here.” I walk him toward the hallway. I open the door to reveal a bedroom that is completely done in a Lego theme. His eyes light up and a huge smile spreads across his face.
“Wow! This is my room?” His eyes are scanning the room, unsure what to do.
“It sure is, little man.” He has a bureau on one wall and on top of it is a brand new TV with a cable box and a DVD player. I had Zoe help me pick a few kids’ movies to put in here until we move his here. He has brand new bedding with Lego guys and the Lego logo on it and in the corner is a toy box with some new toys in it. He runs over to his bed, jumps up on top of it, and begins setting up his bear with a blanket in the middle of the bed.
Shelly slips her hand in mine. “Thank you so much. He looks so happy.”
“It’s my pleasure. I’m just glad he likes it. I was so nervous that I picked the wrong theme for him.”
“What’s this, Mikey?” Ryker goes over to the side of the toy box.
“Oh, I almost forgot. I got you some big Legos that we can play with tonight.”
“So cool.” He grabs the container and drags it into the middle of his huge room.
“We need to eat lunch first, young man.” He shows Shelly the cutest pout, but she’s not buying it. “Come on, young man.”
“All right.” He pushes it back to the corner and we all make our way to the kitchen.
She gets him situated with a glass of milk while I pull all the fixings for sandwiches from the fridge. Shelly informed me that he likes ham, bologna, and salami, so I was sure to get a little of each. “What kind of sandwich would you like, little man?”
“Bologna and salami with cheese, please.” He sits swiveling in his chair, enjoying his milk.
Once Ryker is busy eating, I help Shelly put his bag away in his room and we take her overnight bag to mine. When we get into my room, I’m lost in thought. I want to talk to her, but I’m not sure how she’s going to react. I made some room for her to put things away so she wouldn’t have to live out of an overnight bag and she looks thrilled. I’m sitting on the bed watching her make her way around the room. She brought a few extra outfits and I’m really happy to see her putting things away.
“What’s wrong, Mikey?”
“I’m worried about you two living in that neighborhood. I know you’ve done well but let’s be honest, it’s not a nice neighborhood.”
She pouts at me. “You may be right, but we’ve been living there with my sister for a few years now and we’re doing fine.”
I puff out my cheeks, exhaling a deep breath. “Would you consider moving in with me?”
Now she’s pacing as she takes in what I just asked her. “I don’t know, Mikey. It took me a while to get to where I am now. I’m not sure I can just give it up and move in with you because we’ve been dating for a couple of months and you feel my neighborhood isn’t safe.”
I walk up to her, placing my hands on both her shoulders. “You don’t understand. I’m really worried about you two. I’ve seen someone sitting around watching your building.”
She shakes her head. “Michael, stop. You’re trying to scare me and that’s not cool.” She starts to walk away, but I grab her arm. “I’m not. I love you and I want to take care of you guys.” She looks like she's softening, but I still haven’t convinced her.
“I’ll think about it, but right now I have to check on Ryker and relax a bit before I have to work tonight.” She sighs and walks out of the room.
Fuck, what am going to do with this stubborn woman? I follow her out to the kitchen, where I find her tending to Ryker. I can see she’s shaken by what I said, and it makes me feel bad. She has to work tonight and I don’t want this on her mind, but she also needs to be aware. Tomorrow morning she and I are having a huge conversation about everything I learned. Not so I can scare her into moving in with me, but so she can make a decision based on the reality of what’s happening around her.
“Mikey, I finished my lunch.”
“Good job. What do you say we let Mommy lay down for a bit and you and I can watch a movie?” He nods his head, so I turn to Shelley. “Go. I got him.” She presses a kiss to my lips and walks to the other room to lay down for a bit. She didn’t get home until really early this morning and she was here at noon with him, she has to be exhausted.
***
Shelly
I wake to a crash followed by giggles and laughter. It sounds like my two favorite men are busy playing with Legos. I stretch before climbing out of bed and wandering down the hall to get a peek at what’s happening, and sure enough, they’re in the living room playing. “Watch out,” Mikey says with laughter. They both look so carefree playing on the floor building towers, and when they fall and collapse into a million pieces, Ryker bursts into laughter, causing me to chuckle. Both of them turn to see me leaning on the island watching them. My son comes running over.
“Mommy.” Ryker wraps me in a hug. “Mikey and I are building towers. It’s so much fun.”
“I’m glad, buddy.” A yawn escapes me.
Mikey comes over too. “Hey, little man. Can you put the Legos back into the bucket?” He nods and runs off to do as Mikey asked. “Did you have a nice nap?”
I smile. “I did. I heard his giggles and I had to see what you two were up to.”
“Sorry, I was trying to keep him quiet, but we were having so much fun.” His smile broadens.
“It’s fine.” I look down to the counter top for a second before my eyes meet his again. “Listen, about earlier.”
He puts his hands up, stopping me. “We can discuss it more tomorrow. I want you to go to work and focus on what you need to do, not worry about us. We’re good. I’m sorry I scared you, that wasn’t my intention. My intention was to discuss how I feel and my concerns, but right now I need to start dinner so you can eat before work.”
I sigh. “Listen, I love that you worry about us, but you need to understand that our history runs deep, and the scars are there and will never go away. I need time to adjust and to take this whole thing in. You totally threw me off. I figured at some point we would have this discussion considering you decorated the room for Ryker, but I wasn’t expecting it tonight.”
“I understand that, but…” his words trail off. “I love you and I need to keep you both safe.”
“Safe from what?” I’m getting frustrated because he sounds like he’s talking in circles.
He shakes his head. “Why don’t you go take a shower and start getting ready, and like I said, we can talk about it more tomorrow when we have a day to just relax.” I nod and walk off to the bedroom to get my stuff ready, but I can’t just forget what Mikey said or his reaction. He thinks because he told me to drop it for now that it’s that easy and I can just let it go. I’ve watched my back for the last three years, and now when I’ve finally started to live my life, he’s bringing up my worst fears.
I pull my uniform from the closet and lay it out on the bed. I need to clear my head of any fears I have, otherwise I’m going to end up having another panic attack. I haven’t even told Mikey that I used to have them, because I haven’t had one in a long time. I take a few deep, calming breaths, and when I feel like I have it under control, I begin the process of getting ready.
It takes me about forty-five minutes to shower and get into my uniform. By the time I’m done, Mikey has dinner done and he’s in the process of serving it up. When I get back out to the kitchen, we all take a seat at the table, where Ryker is rambling on about how he helped Mikey, but I’m hardly listening because I’m still deep in thought about the prospect of moving in. I have so many concerns, why is he so worried about us? Is it too soon? Will he try to take over my life the way Eli did? Is this really what’s best for us? I need to talk this over with my sister. She’s the one person who has been able to help me think things through and make clear decisions.
“Earth to Shelly?” Mikey calls out, and when I finally make eye contact, he says, “Ryker is asking you if he needs to take a bath.”
“No, buddy. You can shower in the morning.”
“Yes!” he cheers, running from the table.
“Go get in your pajamas, young man.” He skips off to his room, and as soon as he does, Mikey pulls my chair away from the table.
Grabbing my hands, he pulls me to my feet. “Did I really freak you out that bad?”
“Like you said, we’ll discuss it tomorrow.” I grab the plates and walk them into the kitchen to begin the process of cleaning up. When I get back to the kitchen table for the cups, Mikey is standing there, shocked I didn’t give him a solid answer. I grab the remainder of the dishes and head back into the kitchen to clean up and load the dishwasher.
“Baby,” Mikey says, standing behind me.
“Mikey, stop. You said we would discuss it tomorrow, and now that I’m lost in my own thoughts, you want to discuss it. Well, it’s not going to happen. I need to get Ryker ready for bed and tuck him in with a movie.” I walk off to Ryker’s room, where I find him in his pajamas and sitting on the floor playing with his toys. “Come on, buddy, you need to brush your teeth.”
“I forgot my toothbrush, Mommy.”
“I asked you to make sure you grabbed it from the bathroom.”
“I’m sorry, Mommy.” He looks to the floor, sad that I’m upset. He’s has never done well with me being upset or disappointed in him. He is such a people pleaser. He loves nothing more than knowing he has made someone happy.
“I have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom under the sink. It may be a bit big for his little mouth, but it will do for tonight,” Mikey says while leaning on the door frame.
“What do you say to Mikey?” I ask my son.
“Thank you, Mikey.” The three of us head to the bathroom to get him situated with a toothbrush and help him brush his teeth. When he’s done, Ryker picks a Paw Patrol movie to watch on the TV that Mikey has set up for him.
Mikey walks him over to his bed and tucks him in, giving him a hug good night before he leaves the room to give us a few minutes to ourselves. “Good night, buddy. Mommy’s leaving for work, but I’ll see you in the morning when you wake up. There’s a night light in the hall if you need to use the bathroom.”
“Good night, Mommy.” A big yawn escapes him. I kiss my son on the forehead and walk out of the room, closing the door slightly behind me.
When I get to the living room, Mikey is pacing. I can see he’s stressed and unsure of what to do. He pauses, looking up at me. He starts to speak but stops. “I’m heading to work.” Mikey nods.
“I’ll be waiting up for you.” He steps closer to me. “I love you.”
I give him a tight smile. “I love you too.” I press a kiss to his soft lips and walk out the door.
I don’t know what’s gotten into him tonight, but he was right about one thing. I need to focus on work, and that’s what I’m going to do. Tomorrow we can talk this through and I’ll take some time to talk things over with my sister when I get out of class on Monday. Unfortunately, spring break is over and I can’t help but wonder if that’s what some of this is all about.