Chapter Twenty Four
Axl
Her body sags against mine and I pick her up. Carrying her to the bed, I feel her kiss turn hungry. And I realize the chewing ache of leaving her isn’t going away. I’ve been trying to get my fill of her. Hoping that I could just get enough of her by spending time, by listening to her talk, by feeling her body move with mine.
But none of it has been enough.
Not only that, but I’m pushing her away. The look on her face when she’d told me I was running because I’m afraid surfaces and I hold her a little bit tighter. I am afraid. But not for the reason I told her. I am afraid of losing her. Of watching her life move on without me. Of seeing her find that perfect husband and have those perfect kids. Because the husband will likely be a douche fucking his secretary on the side and the kids will likely grow up in a broken home because she’s too smart to stay with a man who cheats.
And if it’s not that exact scenario, then it’ll be something. Life is fucking messy. It’s imperfect. It’s painful.
Her legs spread as I push her back into the bed with my weight, pinning her down even as I internally remind myself she’s not fucking mine. I need to fucking get off her, back away, let her move on with her life. Because I also don’t want to be one more man proving to her that we’re all assholes. Because we are. Every last one of us is an asshole in one way or another.
She breaks the kiss enough to speak to me in a hushed whisper. “Don’t go. Not yet.” Her hands move up under my shirt, running over my chest and up to my shoulders. Pulling away, I take off my shirt and throw it aside.
She takes me in, her eyes roaming my flesh, my tattoos, my scars. But she never looks at me with disgust. Fascination, curiosity, perhaps even a hint of sadness. But never disgust. Her hands reach for me as if to pull me back in and I lower on her.
I feel her hand wrap around the back of my neck. Feel her pull me down. Feel her hesitate to look me in the eyes. Then she rises up to meet me and her lips part under the hungry force of my tongue. I don’t have gentle in me. I can’t restrain this craving I feel for her. With a growl, I lift her and yank her shirt off. Her bra follows and I’m pretty sure I hear the sound of ripping fabric.
Burying my face between her breasts, I feel her hands on my pants. Feel her freeing me. Then, she pulls back, a hand on my chest to push me away. And I back off. She looks up at me trustingly before leaning in. Her soft lips pull me in and I growl, my hand fisting in her hair. The heat of her mouth is exquisite as she takes me bit by bit. It’s all I can do not to plunge home, but I don’t want to hurt her. I need her to stop. Pushing her away a bit, I groan as she releases me with a popping sound and touches the corner of her lips with her fingertips. Every little gesture is hyper sexy and I have to talk myself down before I do something I can’t come back from.
Pulling her pants off, I notice how she scrambles back on the bed, then climbs up on her knees, facing me with excitement and heat in her eyes. I reach out and haul her up into my arms. Her lips meet mine and her thighs grip my hips as I turn her toward the wall to brace.
“Fuck,” I growl, reaching for my pants and grabbing a condom. Unrolling it over myself quickly, I imagine going without one. Fucking her bareback and getting her pregnant. My cock surges hard and I line up and bury myself in her with a sigh of relief.
She cries out, dropping her head back to the wall. Needing a softer surface I turn and we fall onto the bed. Her hips buck and we roll so she’s riding me. She straightens up, placing her hands on the headboard. And I revel in her.
Hand on her hips, I enjoy her moans. I enjoy how she moves, the quick, hard bucking motion of her hips. Her lips part in shock and I watch her nipples harden. Goose bumps spread like wildfire along her flesh and I chase them with my fingertips before taking double fistfuls of the unmade sheet and bracing it against her backside.
She cries out as I pull her, using the sheet for leverage and shoving me deeper inside her. Her eyes widen and her mouth drops into an o of shock. How the fuck can I leave her? How can I let some other man be the one fucking her?
The thought hits my stomach like battery acid and I grit my teeth against the pleasure as I haul her close again. The punishing motions wring a moan of pleasure from her that only makes me harder. I’m so damn hard if aches. Her perfect tits bounce and I want my mouth on them. And my hands. But I keep pulling her close and feeling her insides tighten around me.
“Axl,” she whimpers, but I’m not backing off. I’m not going to be gentle now. Her eyes lock on me and I feel her gasping breaths on my face. “Don’t stop.”
Fucking hell. Not a damn chance, woman.
Pulling her close again, I feel her muscles tighten around me. I feel her whole body growing tight like she’s wound up and ready to snap. And I try to imagine never seeing her like this again. It’s like a fucking gunshot to the abdomen.