SEAN

I blink awake in the bed next to Atlas, see a sunbeam slicing through the curtains. I’m usually up before dawn so I frown at it and look over to his bed. He’s facing me, passed out, mouth open but quiet. The snores only come when he’s on his back. Looks like the bruises have taken hold over night, but I know he won’t mention it when he comes downstairs.

Throwing my comforter off I pull my phone out of yesterday’s jeans, squinting because I can’t believe it’s almost eleven.

Getting dressed and pulling my new boots on, I dash out, run down the stairs to find the house fairly quiet. The elders have dispersed to the various rooms they prefer to hang out in. Only Tonk Jr. is in the kitchen, making a sandwich. “Hey,” he greets me, barely looking up. “Couldn’t wait for lunch. Don’t tell Mel.”

“I won’t.” Checking the porch through the window I ask, “Where is everybody?”

“You mean Celia?” he smirks and goes back to spreading mayo on whole wheat. “She’s still in bed.”

“What about Sofia and Luke?”

“Same.”

“Huh.” Combing my hair with my fingers I get stuck on a knot and give up, cross my arms and lean against the counter. “Guess last night took its toll.”

“Yup. You want one?”

“Sure, if you’re offering.”

He eyes me. “Pastrami and swiss, right?”

My eyebrows rise. “Yeah, that’s right. You been watchin’ me?”

“We’ve all been watching you.” It’s so matter of fact that I smile. As he digs through the industrial fridge for the fixings, he says, “I woke up before dawn though. Never do that.”

“Why today?”

Tearing open plastic he goes to work. “Mustard?”

“Yep.”

“I’m so good,” he mutters.

When I don’t get an answer, and he hands me my sandwich, I ask again, “Why early today? Everything you found out bothering you?”

“Yes and no.” Grabbing his turkey and cheddar, he smoothes a goop of mayo off the side and licks it off his finger, leaning on the opposite countertop. “I think I’m going to become a therapist.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I might have found something I’m good at.”

Taking a bite I ask with my mouth full, “Something happen to make you think that?”

He nods and chews until his is empty. “You weren’t in the room, but I was able to help my mom out. It felt right, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Locking eyes with me he nods. “Exactly. You and I have something in common.”

“This is a good sandwich.”

“We were both searching for where we belong.”

My chewing slows as I take him in, remembering this childhood song I heard on ancient episodes of Sesame Street. Three of these kids belong together. Three of these kids are kinda the same. But one of these kids is doin’ his own thing…

“Guess I slept in,” comes Celia’s voice from behind me.

Like two cups of coffee got injected in my veins I spin around. “Hey!”

She gives me an uneasy smile as I drop the sandwich and pull her close. She burrows into me. “Last night was weird, huh?”

“How’d you sleep?”

“Sage passed right out. I stared at the ceiling for a long time.”

“Thinking about everything?”

“Yes. I hated that you were in the next room, but I couldn’t be with you.” She tilts her head up. “Still like me?”

“I love you, actually, but yeah. I like you, too.”

Smiling with relief she glances around. “My brother vanished.”

“He’s a quiet one. Says he might want to be a therapist.”

“Really?” Her eyebrows go up like mine did. “That’s a great idea.” She frowns, staring off. “He’ll have to go to school for that.”

“That means he won’t live here.”

“Yeah,” she whispers, trying to picture it.

“Don’t you think he needs that though?”

Nodding, her eyes flicker. “I suppose so. But I’ll miss him. Feels like we were just getting to know each other. For years I was just annoyed that I didn’t understand him. Childish of me, I know that now. But this house is such a unit, and I want him in it.” Shrugging it off she sighs, “Anyway, yes, it’d be good for him to go to college. He would love it.”

Speaking of love, she hasn’t said it back to me, but I push that away since she has so much on her mind. “No training today I guess, huh?”

“I wounded your trainers.”

“You did. They’re still sleeping it off.”

“I’m starving and I need coffee.”

Kissing her I murmur against her smile, “Then let me help you with that.”

As I open the cupboard and grab the filters, the sound of heavy boots turns our heads. Jett appears from the hallway. “Thought I heard your voices. Sean, can I talk to you?”

I frown, “Sure,” handing Celia the box.

He waits for me, nods good morning to her as I pass him. “Ceels. How’re you feeling?”

“It’s going to take time, but I’ll be okay.”

Walking down the hall he informs me, “Let’s talk on the front porch.”

Saying nothing I drag my hand through my hair, chewing my cheek to pieces. The foyer is just as quiet as the first day I arrived, and for some reason that memory hits me. A chill slides down my spine as I glance back to check his face. Jett’s usually friendly with me these days, but his grey eyes have no life in them. He doesn’t even look like he knows me.

I open the door, kick it wider like I’ve seen him do so he can catch it and come outside without my holding it. This is the first time without sneakers and I like how my heavy boots make the porch creak. I like it too much. “Should I sit?”

“Nah, stand with me. This won’t take long.”

The sound of a car coming up the driveway makes me look over, narrow my eyes in surprise at a black sedan like the one that brought me here. My heart kicks in my chest as I lock eyes with the man I’ve come to look at as a father figure, the only one I’ve had since I was a boy. I don’t count Alan. He was okay, but he wasn’t Jett Cocker.

“Sean, I hate to have to tell you but this thing with you and Celia is crossing the line.”

“Oh shit,” I mutter, hooking my thumbs in my jeans pockets. “This is it, huh.”

Celia bursts out the door, eyeing the car as long strides bring her between me and Jett. “You can’t send him away!”

“Ceels.”

“No, Jett, you can’t! I love him!” She grabs my hand as my heart flips over. That statement combined with his is enough to kill me. “You can’t send him away now! I need him!”

We’re staring at the guy.

Our lives depend on his decision.

As the car parks it idles at the foot of the porch.

Jett rubs his stubble and drops the bomb, “Sean, look, we put it to a vote after you went to bed.”

“You did what? That’s not final though!” Celia slams her boot on the porch. “We didn’t vote on it! The elders don’t get the only say! It’s all of us now! Our voices count! Sofia and Luke and Atlas would vote for him. And I know Sage would! Probably my brother, too! Where is he? Tonk!”

From under his eyebrows Jett watches her tirade, not amused. “We didn’t need your vote this time. Another time maybe.”

She’s speechless. I take her hand, “Ceels, we knew it was a maybe.”

“No!”

Jett heads to the door where Honey Badger is now standing with my suitcase, gruffly announcing, “I’m here in case you try anything funny.”

Now I’m pissed. Laughing with sarcasm, I demand, “Oh yeah, what would I try to do? Run inside and hold onto the stair railing? Make you pull me outta here? I have pride you know! If you don’t want me here, that’s fine.” I yank Celia to me so fast her head swings back. Kissing her I rasp against her lips, “Maybe I’ll get a place by here. I love you.”

Lost and helpless she strokes my face, “I love you, too! Let me come with you!”

“Would you do that?”

“Yes!”

Torn I almost take her up on it, even make it so far as bringing her with me to get my suitcase. But through the screen door we can see the elders. Scythe and Denita. Melodi and Fuse. Meg, waiting for her husband. Luna, Carmen and Tonk Sr. None of the others. No support because they’re sleeping and Tonk Jr. slipped away to give us privacy. Has no idea this is happening.

Grimacing against my own selfishness I shake my head, grab her and rain kisses all over her face. “I can’t do that to you. This house is too great, Ceels. Your family, they’re amazing. They need you. Especially now. This is the time when you come together.”

“Sean,” she moans, “Please!”

“I’ll stay close. Find a place in town.”

“I’ll come to you every day! You better not be lying!”

“You trust me, right? You said you trusted me.”

She nods. “I trust you.”

I head down the step as she watches, snapping at them, “This isn’t fair! We didn’t get a vote!”

Jett shrugs, “Why’d we need your vote? We knew it was the same as ours. Hey Sean, where the fuck are you goin? Home’s this way.”

Gravel from the old driveway crunches under my heel as I turn, confused. Those grey eyes are lit up with a sly smile and Celia stares as the elders start grinning.

Honey Badger shouts, “Gotcha!”

We freak out. Celia runs down the steps and literally leaps into my arms. I spin her around, laughing with her, kissing her and laughing some more. The car window rolls down and the driver asks, “Can I go now? My boss thinks I’m on a real run.”

Jett calls out on a huge grin, “You did us a solid, Clyde!”

Clyde waves as the window closes on him.

Honey Badger unzips the suitcase on its side, and it falls open to reveal, “Empty. Oh man, we got you good.”

“Wow,” I whisper, stunned. “You guys are a real piece of work.”

Tonk says from where they’d planted themselves to watch the prank unfurl, “Really? I thought we’re so amazing!” He mocked my voice and I just shake my head.

“I changed my mind.”

“I love you, Celia,” Fuse sings. “I’ll get a place in town!”

“Okay,” I laugh, “Shut it!”

“Don’t leave me, Sean!” Scythe croons, which is even funnier because his voice is so deep he can’t make it go high.

Celia sighs through her smile as we walk into the house. “We can still leave.”

“Nope.”

She eyes me. “That’s so final.”

Jett shuts the front door and announces, “We need one more thing to make it final. Kids!”

Our friends come downstairs, fully dressed. Celia and I gape at them as we realize they were part of the prank.

Sofia points upstairs. “We had to listen from the windows. Thank God you didn’t look up!”

Of one mind the entire family heads into the big parlor, everyone standing and filling the room, all eyes on me. Like when I met them, they’re posed each in their own personal way. Some leaning on furniture, some arms crossed, some squatting, others with their hands in their pockets—back or front. It’s different than that first day though because this time Celia’s by my side, not by Atlas’s.

Carmen walks up to me, and it’s the first time she’s looked like she doesn’t want me gone. Her voice is gentle but firm, “Sean, I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you.”

Smiling with relief I tell her, “We’re good.”

“When I saw you helping my daughter fight through her anger last night, I knew I’d been so wrong about you.” She pauses, glancing to Tonk Jr. “Was it transference?”

“Yes, that’s the word.”

“I don’t know all the reasons I held it against you that you weren’t our family, but I want you to know that I voted for you to stay. It was unanimous.”

Sage holds up the cat and shouts, “Even Tickles wants you here! See, he’s holding up his paw! I want Sean to stay!”

The room laughs. I glance to my left to see Jett with something behind his back. He whips his arm out and reveals a brand new Ciphers jacket.

My jaw drops. “No way!”

Tonk asks, “How the hell did you get that so quick?”

Jett shrugs one beefy shoulder. “Can’t lie. I was hoping the kid stayed. Had this ordered a month ago.” Returning to me he says with feeling, “You’ve earned this.”

I slide my arms in and shake it into place, running my hands down the leather, and reaching to touch the C on my left arm. “Not gonna lie. This feels pretty damn good.”

Jett beams with pride, and it’s that same pride that everyone has right now as I glance around and stand tall. He announces, “You deserve a new name, too, because Sean is way too fuckin’ soft for a biker like you!”

The parlor erupts in cheering. Celia laughs behind her hand and watches me fake disbelief. “What the hell is wrong with Sean, huh?!” They all boo, and I just grin. “You all suck.”

Sofia Sol shouts through cupped hands, “So what’s it gonna be?”

Suggestion fly, but none stick until Celia whistles through her fingers. “I got it!” She slides her arms around my waist, “Diesel.”

“I like the sound of that. Why Diesel?”

“I think it’s sexy.”

“That’s good enough reason for me.”

“And you’re not just any fuel. You’re the special kind you can’t find everywhere.”

The room erupts in groans and overly sappy sounds like they’re going to puke. I glance around the club, my eyebrow cocked. “I’m gonna kiss her like you’re not here. Turn around if you can’t handle it.”

Not one person looks away. Never kissed anyone to cheering and hollering and stamping feet before. If someone ever asked me how it felt to have such an audience at the highest point in my life, I’d say, I highly recommend it.