I’ve fallen for Dublin, how charming it is. The people are so warm, their accents fun to listen to. Many of the younger girls here wish they were tan so they wear foundation makeup a shade darker than their pale skin that rarely sees the sun. Lots of blue or purple eyeliner and hip fashions taken from the London runways twisted into their own personal style like they one-upped the system. We’ve been here four days and it’s been absolute bliss.

“I think I’m crazy about the Irish,” I confess to Gabriel as we walk into a pub built in the 1700’s. “Did you hear that bartender call that drunk guy an eejit?”

Working his way through the late-night crowd, he explains, “It’s idiot with an accent.”

“So funny!”

“In London they call everyone cunt. In America you can’t get away with that shit. But that’s because it doesn’t mean the same thing. To the Brits it just means you’re stupid. Or a douchebag.”

Rising on my tiptoes I urge him ever-so-quietly, “You can use that word with me in private, though.”

He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Oh yeah? Noted.” After pressing a quick kiss to my lips he turns and tells the ginger-haired bartender, “Two Guinness.”

Squeals coming from the far end of the dark pub make us both look over. Gabriel’s been spotted by a group of female fans. Bowing out I tell him, “I’m going to the ladies room. Have fun.”

He gives me a nod and turns to accept their praise and request for autographs and photos. I overhear them giggle that they were at the concert tonight and can’t believe he’s here. This happens everywhere we go. Price I have to pay, I guess. I’ve discovered the trick is to separate the star from the man. I get the man, they get the star. But the star is untouchable so I win.

Steep, narrow stairs lead me to the second floor where exaggerated conversations are taking place across mismatching tables and old wooden chairs.

A sign on the wall points left and reads: Toilets.

And of course there’s a line. As I take my place, my hair falls over my face while I dig for my lipstick. I don’t see I’m standing by Olivia until I hear her say, “Funny how they call them Toilets here, huh?”

Looking up on a smile I’m about to agree when I freeze. “Oh um, yeah.” She’s much prettier close up, which of course drives my mind to horrible images in an instant. I’ll never forget what her boobs look like. How I wish I could.

She rolls her eyes, acting friendly, “In the states we’re so puritanical we have to call it a Restroom.”

“When nobody is resting in them, ever.”

“Right?” she smirks while glancing down to the lipstick in my hand. “I have that color. That’s Blushing Berry, right?”

I read the label quickly because I have several shades from this brand. “Yep. What a coincidence,” I mutter.

We’re silent as the line moves forward one.

She leans her back on the wall and bites her bottom lip. “So that’s the second thing you and I have shared.”

I stare at her profile. “Okay, just say what you’ve gotta say.”

She eyes me, the friendly façade gone. “Why you? Why not me, huh?” She pauses, getting angrier. “Why didn’t Gabriel pick me? We’ve been hooking up for over a year and yeah, it was casual, but I kept thinking that one day it wouldn’t be! I thought we’d wake up and he’d still be in my bed for once, not run off like I was trying to sneak some ball and chain around his fuckin’ ankle.” We have a growing audience now but she does not care. “This whole time I tiptoed around his fuckin’ ego thinking he was just scared, but that wasn’t it at all! He wasn’t into me. He didn’t give a shit this entire time!”

I want to crawl into a hole and hide. “If it was going on for a year, he must have felt something.”

She shakes her head, wagging her finger like she doesn’t want to hear it. “No. Uh uh, when I see him with you he’s proud and letting everybody know that you’re his girl.”

My mouth opens and shuts.

She waves her hand in the air indicating the whole group of them at the airport the other morning. “He did that to show me. To make it really fuckin’ clear that it is done, over, and I’m supposed to do nothing and act like it never happened. Do you know how shitty that feels?”

All I can do is shake my head.

Gabriel has discovered us and works his way through the crowd. “Olivia, that’s enough!”

She turns on him, “It happened! I’m a human being and you were in my body over and over!”

“Oh Jeezus,” he mutters. “You want to talk about this, we’ll talk. But not out here in public.” He grabs someone’s phone to stop them from videoing. “Keep it up and you’re gone.”

She starts laughing in his face. “I fuckin’ quit! How ‘bout that!”

I glance around as photos and videos are taken so quickly he can’t do anything about it. It feels like the entire bar has surrounded us by how condensed these faces are.

Olivia goes on, “Get yourself a better dancer and good luck because one doesn’t exist! You trade me for her? Ms. Tiny Tits here? You fuckin’ crazy?” She pushes my shoulder.

I don’t know if it’s the fact that acting like a coward would be recorded for all eternity, or that between my brother and my upbringing I’ve had enough of taking people’s abuse. Whatever the reason, my fist hits Olivia’s face so hard her head spins and she falls into the wall.

Gabriel’s eyes go from ferocious to shocked.

Cameras are still aimed at me.

But I can’t see them anymore.

All I see is this bitch losing her dignity and trying to take me and Gabriel down with her.

Wide-eyed she stares as I demand, “Who do you think you’re talking to? Check yourself Olivia, because I will knock you down again if you ever breathe on me, understand? You don’t love him because you wouldn’t be making this scene like a child. You loved the idea of being with him. But I do love him. And there can be only one.”

I take Gabriel’s hand and together we push our way out of the crowd to freedom. He takes the lead to negotiate these steep fucking stairs that are crowded with curious faces and cameras. “Out of the way!”

On the cobblestone streets of downtown Dublin we hurry past closed shops to put space between those cameras and us.

When they decide to leave us alone and the voices fading behind us become silent, Gabriel pulls us into a shadowy corner and takes my face in his hands. “Wow.”

Throwing myself into his arms I kiss him and whisper, “That just slipped out. It’s too soon! I didn’t mean to say it. I didn’t even know I was going to!”

Searching my eyes his voice is thick as he tells me, “Hey, Paige, stop. I love you, too.”

Melting into him I whisper, “You do?”

He kisses me roughly and I respond with equal excitement. Gabriel pulls away to say on an amused smirk, “Remind me never to piss you off.”