The Ferrari’s tires spit gravel as we drive up Ben’s driveway. He’s standing on the porch, Shelby leaning against the wall behind him. Everyone looks like somebody died, because when you fight with people you love, a piece of you is dead until you can heal the rift.

“Promise you’ll let me do the talking until you’re calm.” I slide my fingers up Gabriel’s arm in the tenderest way I can.

With his eyes locked on his cousin he mutters, “Promise,” and turns off the ignition, jumping out to open my door.

My instinct is to leap out now just in case they’re going to go at it, but I know better. He needs to show that I’m his. Opening my door and offering his hand is the gentlemanly way that men are taught to behave. It’s a show of respect for both of us. But I’m shaking.

When my fingers slide onto his, he notices and his body loses the tension a bit in order to calm me down.

“Thank you for meeting us,” I smile.

Ben nods. “No problem.”

Gabriel bites back a sarcastic remark which shows great restraint on his part.

Shelby takes a couple deep breaths. She looks like she belongs out here in this quiet place. Her blonde curls are wild, no makeup save for a hint of pink on her lips. Her jeans and yellow, cotton blouse fit right in with Ben’s no-frills style.

We take a seat at the round table he set on the porch. I’m sure they’ve spent mornings here together, sharing life stories over coffee after nights with little sleep.

Shelby pours us all glasses from a pitcher of sweet tea, as if she’s been here forever. When she places mine down I see she’s shaking, too. We lock eyes but only for a second before she sits and starts picking at her nails. Ben and Gabriel are stiff and quiet across from each other. It’s boy girl, boy girl.

Did she go to Ben for the same reason I did? Because she needed his strength? I bet it was her who sought him out because Carter wasn’t equipped to deal with how shaken she was after what happened. Shelby hasn’t seen the darkness I have from growing up in the shadow of addiction. She was always bubbly and silly…and maybe more fragile than I ever realized.

I take a sip of tea, clear my throat and begin. “When we first got to your family’s BBQ I was overwhelmed. But then everybody was so nice and…they laugh so much and are so close!” Ben and Gabriel shift in their chairs at the reminder. “I got a glimpse of how magical what you guys have, is. That you would fight and throw that away is a tragedy. I think what happened is a terrible misunderstanding. You guys love each other, you both know that.” Touching Gabriel’s arm to let him know I’m his and this is all for him, I glance to his cousin and say, “Ben, I know that’s why you didn’t call. You didn’t know what to say, how to explain yourself. It was probably embarrassing, wasn’t it? So that made it really hard to talk to him about it.” I turn to my boyfriend, stroking his arm. “And Gabriel, you’re hurt because you feel left out so often. And traveling all the time doesn’t help. That feeling got triggered when you felt ignored by Ben, who you’ve always looked up to. It had to hurt. And not just a little bit, but a lot.”

His eyes drop to the table as Ben stares at him, clearly surprised at learning something new.

“I’m sure Shelby is wondering what’s so special about me.”

I hold her guarded eyes as they go wide. That’s what’s been gnawing at her. I can only imagine how it feels to be her in this circumstance.

“This isn’t about me, Shelbs. Ben was ready to meet someone…because I think he was looking for you. It was so obvious as we drove up and I saw you two, how much you belong here. Maybe that’s why he ran into me that day, so you guys would meet. Then it all went wonky. You don’t have to worry. This fighting isn’t over me, it’s become about them — just two guys who got angry and had no idea how to talk about their feelings. It happens to men all the time.” I pause and offer her an apologetic smile. “And we’re no exception, right?”

“Paige,” she whispers, wiping her cheeks.

Ben protectively reaches for her hand and their fingers entwine as she gives him a grateful smile.

He looks at me, frowning, “Fuck.”

Gabriel chuckles with the hurt still tinting his voice. “Yeah, Paige does that.” He leans over to give me a quick kiss. “Cut us all wide open, why don’t you?”

Shelby laughs through her tears, “Ever thought of being a shrink?”

Choked up, too, I laugh and hold her eyes. “I miss you, Shelbs.”

Her cute face squishes up and she croaks, “I miss you, too!” She leaps out of the chair and hurries over to melt into my arms. We rock each other, crying.

Ben and Gabriel sit there, awkward and silent.

“I have some whiskey.”

Gabriel shoots up from his chair. “I’m in.”

Shelby and I crack up laughing from the release of all that tension as we follow the boys inside.