Ethan felt a second of sadness swell up inside him before it was tamped down, replaced by an acceptance that soon made way for the happiness Crow gave him. He knew he would never stop feeling that pang of pain in his chest whenever something reminded him of Adam, but he also knew he couldn’t be a slave to it either. Adam would have hated that. And so Ethan took a breath and found strength in the man laying next to him, their bodies only inches apart, their legs tangled together at the ankles, their feet lazily playing with the other.

“I met him at that bar in Santa Monica, the one you had your opening night at. I think that’s why I started going back to it a few months ago. It felt like I was moving on without leaving him behind. I don’t know, it was weird.” Crow shook his head, ready to interject, but Ethan kept going. “There’s a palm tree etched into the corner of the table we were sitting at. He got a tattoo of it on his side. Said it symbolized his move to Los Angeles and his meeting the love of his life. I was supposed to get a similar tattoo but never got to before the accident. And then I was just torn up for so fucking long… And then you showed up, and suddenly nothing made sense anymore. I was used to living with nothing much to look forward to. And yeah, that sounds really fucking shitty —and in hindsight, it definitely is — but back then, it was my reality, my normal. But the moment you started singing, I felt something shift. It was like a reminder of everything I had been denying myself. Happiness, thrill, bliss. All of it. And then we talked, and we clicked, and fuck did I want to see you again. But I thought that I wasn’t, and I felt myself going back into my routine. Sinking back down to the part of myself that forgot what joy felt like. Tasted like. Sounded like.” Ethan’s thumb rubbed Crow’s cheek, feeling the slight stubble. “And then I got booked onto this tour and the rest is history.”

“Jesus, Ethan,” Crow’s eyes were filled with a sense of sadness. “I never want you to lose this happiness again. Your smile is too big, your eyes too bright. I’m swearing, right here and right now, that I will keep on singing as long as I physically can as long as it puts a smile on your face.”

“And I’ll keep listening until I can’t anymore.”

Crow’s eyes searched Ethan’s. “How long were you both together, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Not at all,” Ethan said. He actually appreciated Crow’s question. He never wanted Adam to be forgotten, and the only way that was going to happen was by talking about him. It helped Ethan obtain a sense of peace and didn’t make it feel like it was some big fucked-up secret between him and Crow. “We met two years before we got engaged. He had just moved to Los Angeles from Portland and was going out by himself so he could make friends. He wanted to be a producer. He had an eye for talent, that was for sure.”

“He sounded like a great guy.”

“He was,” Ethan said. He hadn’t talked this much about Adam to anyone. It felt therapeutic in a way. Like sharing this wonderful person who had made such an impact on his life was somehow setting him free. Ethan felt his eyes water but no tears flowed. He was filled with emotion, and of course sadness was there, but there was an overwhelming happiness that was mostly in part because Crow was the one listening to him speak. He could feel his warmth under the sheets, see he eyes glow with the passing lights.

Ethan felt lifted. He was somewhere above the clouds. He was sure he would never have felt like this again, not after Adam. Ethan moved for a kiss, goosebumps spreading down his back. The good kind. The warm kind, that send a soft desire pulsing through you.

“I love you,” Ethan said, the words flowing like a river.

“I love you, too,” Crow said, his soft breath caressing Ethan’s lips. They were so close, in so many different ways. The night was late but their life together was just beginning. Ethan felt his heart fill with that familiar warmth that used to hug him to sleep and wake him up as one of the happiest people on earth.

“So now you definitely have to write a song about me,” Ethan toyed, running a thumb over Crow’s soft lips.

“I have an entire library of songs about you already.”

“You do?”

“Mhmm,” Crow answered mischievously. “You’ve been a storm of inspiration. Every time I get a minute alone, I’m writing. I think I have an entire album by now.”

“That’s incredible,” Ethan said, “and not even because the songs are about me. I just love how talented and dedicated you are to your music. I always admired people who could sing and write, and you can do both so damn well. How are you even real?”

“I guess this is the moment I tell you I’m actually an android hell-bent on taking over this world.”

“I knew it.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” Ethan said, smiling playfully as they kissed. “There’s no way a regular human can be as talented and smart and funny. You’re also one of the sexiest androids ever.”

“Thank you,” Crow said, mimicking a classic robot voice.

They both broke down into laughs and kisses and tangled limbs.