Maybe my subconscious took me there.
Maybe I needed to run off some steam. Maybe I needed to get out of my apartment… I couldn’t think of any other reasons, so maybe, just maybe I went to the running track looking for Cole. There. I admitted it. My friend stood me up for a boyfriend, and I went in search of the man I’d been too much of a coward to seek out all week.
I pushed through the door and jogged a few feet before stopping. Then I just stood there. I wasn’t dressed for running. I was barely dressed for anything. Pajamas. A white tank top over short sleeping shorts. Thank God, I’d grabbed a robe. I was dressed and ready for what was supposed to have been my night.
I knew he wasn’t here. It was foolish to think he would be. He ran in the mornings. He told me himself. And it was Friday, almost ten at night.
A bitter laugh escaped me, sending a puff of white breath into the air. It was chillier than usual in here. I closed my eyes, feeling the cold now, and I turned around to head back.
“It’s Friday night.” His voice stopped me. He stood right inside the door, and his eyes raked over me. “And you’re wearing panda pajamas.” He shook his head, his dark eyes twinkling. “You know, sometimes I wonder how smart I am, but I’m deducing you didn’t come in here to work out.”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I just stared at him, taking him all in. He wore nice, custom-tailored-looking jeans and a black shirt under a black leather jacket. He was beautiful in his rich, bad-boy way.
“You’re going out.” My hand lifted toward him, then fell back at my side.
I cursed myself. Even now, even knowing what I was getting myself into when I came down here, I was still reduced to a teenager. I felt a blush in my cheeks, like I always had when I talked to a crush. I swallowed and forced out a quiet sigh. I really did need to get a handle on my hormones. They were too old for this ridiculousness.
He chuckled and shoved his hands into the leather jacket’s pockets, pulling it tighter against his shoulders. My mouth watered.
“Unlike you, who must have fun plans this evening, I promised a friend I’d check in on his restaurant. He’s out of town and just recently bought it.” His eyes narrowed, and his head cocked to the side. “Are you going to bed like that, or are you going to a pajama party somewhere?”
My blush was at full force. I felt it creeping down my neck. “Neither. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You don’t?”
“I thought a friend was down here.”
“Friend?” He pointed to himself, stepping forward. “Me?”
“No. I—” This was stupid. “Yes. You.”
A smirk showed on his face, and he took another step closer. “Well, isn’t this a coincidence then?”
“You’re gloating.”
He laughed. “Of course I am. You avoided me for an entire week.”
“I did not.”
“Really?” He stopped, standing so close now, and I looked up at him. His eyes stared right down into mine, and I could’ve touched him. All I had to do was reach out. Hell, I could’ve pretended to trip, and he would’ve caught me. I didn’t know this man, but I knew he would do that. I could fall, and he would keep me steady.
I wanted his touch, yearned for it.
“So, what’ll it be?” he asked, his gaze falling to my lips.
I coughed, unable to talk at first. “What do you mean?” I bit my bottom lip. My knees were growing weak.
“I’d like someone to go to this restaurant with me. You must’ve sensed my dire need. I mean…” He gestured down the running lanes. “You came here looking for me. I think it’s destiny. You’re supposed to keep me company so I don’t die of boredom tonight.”
“Ha!” I was grinning now. My cheeks hurt from how much I was grinning. “You think I sensed that you needed a sidekick tonight, and the gods sent me for you?”
“No.” He reached out and touched one of the pandas on my pajamas, right where my tank top rested over my shorts. The material lifted, and I felt the heat of his hand there, right on my stomach. “Just the panda gods. They must’ve heard my prayer.”
My head tipped back. “You’re funny.” God, his hand felt good there.
His eyes darkened, and the smirk lingered. “I have lots of talents, but I mean it. I’d love a date for this restaurant tonight.”
I stopped laughing. I got his message. He wasn’t interested in a friend, a sidekick, or a companion. He wanted a date. My body reacted to his straightforwardness, and for a moment, I didn’t trust myself to speak.
Clearing my throat, I pulled my eyes away. “Uh.”
“It’s Friday night.” He was still touching one of the pandas on my pajamas. His hand was against my stomach, and he pulled me closer to him. The cloth felt like nothing now. There was no barrier between us, and I looked down, unable to tear my eyes away from his hand. “I’d like you to have dinner with me.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear with his other hand.
When I looked up, his hand fell away, but he still held on to me. He was bold, and I didn’t want his hand to move. I heard myself saying, “I need to change.”
He nodded. “Meet me in the lobby. One hour?”
My head moved up and down, and then I pulled away and went around him. Every part of my body was aware of him. Like it wasn’t just mine anymore, it was a part of him. With each step I took, I sensed who I was leaving behind.
This wasn’t normal. This didn’t happen in real life. It took months before I’d felt this burn for Liam. With Cole it was the second time we talked, and the fourth time I’d seen him.
Everything melted inside me, and I had no idea what I’d picked to wear until I was stepping back into the elevator and hitting the lobby button. I glanced down, and my hand went to my hair. I’d put on an outfit Sia once chose for me. She’d laid it out on my dresser, saying I needed to dress sexier, and it had stayed there for two weeks. I looked in the mirrored wall to see my hair. It was pulled up in a messy braid, similar to last Friday’s lunch. Sia would’ve approved.
The elevator came to a stop, lurching in sync with my stomach.
A date—I wasn’t ready.
I reached inside my purse and found my wedding ring. I didn’t put it on, but I held it. Some of the nerves calmed inside. Then the doors slid open, and I looked up.
It wasn’t how good Cole looked that gave me pause. It was the look in his eyes when he saw me. It’d been so long since a man looked at me like that, like I was breathtaking to him, like he wanted to protect me, take me to bed, and laugh all night, all at the same time. I felt beautiful as Cole took in the sight of me. The feeling washed over me. I blinked back a tear, held my breath.
Liam… I missed him with an impossible heaviness.
Then I could hear him whispering, “Whatever this guy’s going to say, I agree. You look stunning, Addison.” He would’ve leaned in to kiss me. “I love you. Live your happy, Addy.”
It felt so real—feeling him, hearing him. Live your happy.
The heaviness lifted, and I stepped from the elevator, my head high as I walked toward Cole.
He drank me in. “You look beautiful.”
It was a simple dress, a simple sweater, but with the black boots Sia had picked, and I knew my getup made me look sexy, too. Thank you, Sia, I thought as Cole held out his hand for me and I took it, feeling his fingers close around mine.
Ken was waiting by the door. He held it open for us, pushing out toward the street. He nodded as we passed. “Have a fun evening, Mr.—”
Cole shot him a look.
“Cole and Miss Addison,” he finished.
I turned to give him a reproach for the ‘Miss’ part, but Cole led me quickly around a black SUV and opened the passenger door. I got inside and waited until he’d rounded the back to get in the driver’s seat.
“You drive yourself?”
He started the engine. “Hell yeah, I do. You didn’t think I would?” He turned into traffic, and his wolfish grin showed me another side of this mystery man. He loved driving. No, it was more than that, but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what.
“For some reason I thought you’d have a driver.”
“Ah.” His hand moved over the steering wheel. He leaned back, keeping one hand there and resting the other on the stick shift. “You’re right. I normally would have a driver, but this week has been my vacation from regular life. That means no driver. I get to do it myself. And driving a stick shift—” He changed gears. “—is a rush all its own.”
He was dangerous. He was strong. And now, he loved adrenaline. Cole was everything Liam hadn’t been. “You like the rush,” I mused.
He moved between cars and glanced over at me.
“Is that in all aspects of life?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t reply. I saw the corner of his mouth lift up. Then we switched lanes again and came to an intersection. The faint grin was gone by then, and he turned onto another road before sliding to a halt in front of a brick building. He unclipped his seat belt. He didn’t get out, not even when the valet opened his door. He watched me. “Does that unnerve you? The rush?”
My mouth dried. “Maybe in some aspects of life.”
His eyebrow lifted. “Like the bedroom?”
My eyes widened. “You were bold when you said this was a date, and now you’re bringing up the bedroom? Maybe you get a rush from making women uncomfortable?”
He was too close, too soon. I’d lashed out, and I regretted it, but I wasn’t used to this. Cole was honest, but maybe too honest? That didn’t sit right with me.
He didn’t reply, not at first. He continued to watch me, studying me, then he said, softly, “I don’t enjoy making women uncomfortable, but I also know you’re not uncomfortable. I enjoy being honest, so here’s my honesty right now.” He paused, making sure I looked right back at him. “I’m not interested in being your friend.”
O—Oh!
My pulse sped up, faster than it already was, and his gaze lingered a moment longer before he got out of the car. A second valet driver opened my door. I couldn’t move, not at first. I didn’t think my legs could hold me. When I did, Cole was waiting for me, and I rested my hand on his arm. He steadied me, and my God, I hated that while I liked it so much.
I was a mess inside, but it was a good mess.
The restaurant’s inside was dark with minimal lighting. Candles rested on the window frames and the front desk. A hostess stood behind it, and as we came inside, she came out from behind. She was tiny and beautiful: Dark eyes. Dark hair. A rack most guys would love, and she folded her hands in front of her tight-buttoned shirt and skirt. “Mr.—”
“Cole.”
She blinked once. “Cole. It’s wonderful to have you tonight. The usual seating?”
He nodded. “That’d be great.”
The back corner booth was big enough to seat six comfortably. Cole waited until I slid in and then sat beside me. The hostess handed us two menus before heading back to the front. A server came over right away, pitcher of water in hand, to fill our glasses. He disappeared, only to return with a bottle of wine. Two more glasses were soon filled with wine, and the bottle sat beside the table in an ice bucket.
Cole handed me one of the menus. “Did you want wine? Or would you like something else?”
I cracked a grin. “Uh, wine will go right to my head. Maybe coffee? Is that an option?”
The corner of his lip twitched. He stopped a server walking by. “Could we get a pitcher of coffee as well?” He asked me, “Cream and sugar?”
I hadn’t thought my cheeks could get any redder. I was wrong. “I’m sorry. I was joking.” I glanced from the server to Cole. “Sorry. Bad joke.”
The server left, and Cole shifted to face me. “Are you nervous?”
I laughed. “Have you ever been around yourself? You’re a bit much.”
“I am?” His eyebrow lifted.
“Your whole presence. You’re just…I’m not used to people like you.”
“Dorian mentioned you have a friend? Sia?”
Of course he’d know about Sia. “Sia Clarke.”
“That name sounds familiar.”
“She’s the event coordinator at the Gala down the street. Do you know her?”
“No. Dorian mentioned she had a ‘forceful presence.’” Cole’s eyes twinkled in amusement. “I imagine she propositioned him or something like that?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. She can certainly be direct.”
“See?” His hand touched mine. It was a soft and gentle tap. “I can’t be the only one.”
“But you’re the only one I want to—” I caught myself and closed my eyes, horrified. I was going to say I wanted to sleep with him. My hormones had been asleep for a year, but Cole woke them up. They screamed for attention. “Nothing. Never mind.”
“Nothing?” The half-grin he’d been giving me stretched to the other side. He knew damn well what I’d been about to say.
I groaned. “I’m already embarrassed.” I waved between us. We weren’t touching, but we were side by side. “This is a lot for me.” Water. I needed to quench my throat. I scooted around the corner of the table so we weren’t right next to each other anymore.
Cole moved into the space I left and sat back.
God, those eyes. They never left my face, and the longer they watched me, the more I felt I was losing some sort of battle. Over my will power. Or his intentions for after dinner. Whatever battle it was, I knew there was little chance I could withstand it.
We didn’t talk. Minutes passed, and still we gazed at each other. The pull between us was crazy, and the longer I held his gaze, the faster my heart beat. I reached for my napkin blindly and pulled it into my lap. My hand fisted it into a ball, and I held onto it so I wouldn’t do anything else. I had no idea what, but it was useless.
I was going to sleep with him.
The understanding spread through me.
“Would you like to leave?” His eyes darkened in stark hunger, and he leaned forward. He saw my reaction.
Okay. There it was. We were going to talk about it. “And do it in the car?”
“I was hoping for your place.”
A dry laugh ripped from me. “I don’t do this.”
His eyebrow moved up again. “Seems like you’re going to.”
“No, you don’t understand.” I gestured between us. “You and me. I am not used to this sort of thing.”
“One-night stands or casual sex?”
A second laugh bubbled up. “You’re already labeling it that way?”
“Well…” He looked around, but no one was near. His hand lifted.
I didn’t look. I didn’t know what he was gesturing for, and I didn’t care. He was right. We were two minutes from walking right back outside, and I wasn’t going to regret it. I couldn’t. This power, whatever he had over me, it was making me do things I never thought I would. But after this past year—I didn’t care anymore. The pain. The sadness. The loneliness. I wanted it wiped out, even for just one night. One goddamn night.
“We’ve just met,” he continued, his voice dropping low. “There’s a lot we don’t know about each other.”
“You know where I live. Do you live there, too?”
His eyes grew hooded. “There are things about my life I can’t share. I’d like to, but I’m in a position where I can’t. Not until I trust you.”
“You can’t tell me where you live?”
“No.”
“You’re unbelievable. You want to have sex with me, but you won’t tell me where you live?”
“I’m close to Dorian.” His hand rested on the table between us. It curled into a fist, and his jaw clenched. “That’s all I can tell you right now. But I want to tell you more.” He leaned forward. His hand stayed there, still balled up. “I really do want to.”
“You have a job you can’t tell me about. You live somewhere you can’t tell me about, but you can tell me you’re friends with my building manager? What am I supposed to do with that?”
“I was hoping you’d give me time. I can tell you; I just can’t do it now.”
A month ago I would’ve laughed in his face. Hell, two weeks ago I would’ve laughed in his face, but this wasn’t two weeks ago. I had endured an entire week of wanting to see him, be around him, but I had been too scared. Tonight was different. Sia had stood me up. I couldn’t blame her. She had a life. She was out there. She was living, and I hadn’t been. I’d been holed up in my house, and now I was holed up on my floor. I’d been healing—or was it hiding? Thirteen months, and one meeting with this man set my world ablaze.
I was smart. I was educated. One-night stands weren’t me, but looking back at him, I was quickly losing my capacity for rational thinking. My body had made up its own mind.
Thump.
I couldn’t believe this.
Thump.
My pulse pounded in my eardrum.
Thump.
He was waiting for my response.
I sighed, then nodded. “Okay.”