I RAN ALL THE WAY home, my legs barely able to carry me with the speed I was going at.
My heart was beating frantically, and I was shivering from the cold outside. In my rush to get away, I’d left my jacket at the house, and the early winter air of the afternoon was cutting straight to my bones. I felt the winter chill in every cell of my body, but it still didn’t make me feel any less hot. The kiss we’d shared, the crazy sparks that flew between us, were enough to warm the pit of my tummy.
I reached the house and slammed the front door behind me. Right away, a feeling of dread filled me. If Martha heard me running around like that, there’d be hell to pay.
But the little cottage was silent, the calmness of it telling me my stepmother wasn’t home. Maybe she’d gone into the city to pick something up—either way, I was all alone and grateful for it.
I collapsed on the other side of the door, my back sliding down the wood and my lips parting to let out a big sigh.
I couldn’t believe what I’d just let myself do. What I’d let him do…
My first kiss.
The one I’d been saving for so, so long, and now it was all gone, taken by a stranger while I let myself fall apart in his arms, just for him. How could I do it? How could I let him have the special moment I’d been saving my whole life? How could I have been so careless?
The answer was right in front of me, but I didn’t want to see it.
What Rafael did to me, the way he made me feel… My body like putty in his arms, my mind telling me to do anything he told me, just so I could please him. It was like all I wanted was to follow his orders, to do what he said, to submit to him completely. And the butterflies he’d given me were still fluttering in my stomach, beating their wings and promising something magical, something I’d never had before.
I groaned to myself and picked myself up. I was smoothing down my shirt when I heard a knock on the door, and my whole body froze in anticipation.
Surely it wasn’t him? He wouldn’t come around so soon, would he?
My stomach doubled over with anxiety and hope, and I tucked my hair behind my ears before opening the front door wide.
“Hello, dear.”
Now, my tummy dropped with relief and sadness, and I smiled at Edna standing in front of me, fidgeting with her hands in fluffy mittens.
“Hello!” I said happily, stepping aside. “Come in, you must be freezing out there.”
“The wicked stepmother isn’t home then?” she giggled, and I smiled at her.
“Gone out to the city, I think,” I told her, and we exchanged a warm hug as she walked inside, bringing in the scent of firewood and a promise of snow. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I just wanted to bring you some carrot cake.” She gave me a sneaky little smile, bringing out a wicker basket from her cape and walking over to the kitchen.
I followed closely behind and helped her unload what she’d brought over for me.
“This isn’t just carrot cake, Edna,” I giggled. “You’ve brought way too much!”
“Nonsense,” she said with a grin. “I know that stepmother of yours doesn’t feed you enough. You’re all skin and bones.”
“Not really,” I grimaced. “My butt’s enormous, and I need a new bra… again.”
“Well, nothing wrong with that,” she winked at me, and I giggled. “Here, put this cheese in the fridge while I make us a cup of tea. We’ll start a fire and talk, how about that? If Martha’s gone to the city, she shouldn’t be back at least for a few more hours.”
I put everything away while she put the kettle on, and before long, we both had a steaming cup of Breakfast Tea in front of us. I put on the fire and covered Edna’s legs with a thick knitted blanket, and she relaxed in the armchair in front of the fire. By the time I was done, I had soot all over my hands, but I didn’t mind. I loved these stolen moments. Edna was like the grandmother I’d never had.
Edna Morgan lived right next door. I’d only met her a couple of months ago when Martha moved us to the grounds, but our connection was instant. Edna used to be the Goldwyn’s nanny, and she’d raised Rafael mostly by herself. His mother was a famous actress and left his father months after having a baby. After that, Edna cared for Rafe like he was her own child.
Edna came over to bring us cupcakes when we moved in, and luckily, I’d been home alone. We became fast friends over a cup of tea—we shared a love for all things British—and her homemade snickerdoodle cookies. I hadn’t known any of my grandparents, and I’d been feeling lonely since I’d lost my father. With Martha’s cold attitude, I couldn’t hope for any parental advice, but Edna was amazing. She made me feel like I had a place in the world, and a purpose as well.
And on top of that, she was a totally kickass woman.
She’d been a Vegas showgirl for most of her life, and she had the most amazing wardrobe filled with the kind of gowns I’d only seen on TV and in magazines before. They were all sparkly, with feathers and skintight fabrics that left nothing to the imagination. Sometimes I went over to her cottage, and Edna let me try on ridiculous outfits that made me feel like I was really a grown up, even with my virginity still intact.
Edna loved it. She’d never had children of her own, even though she’d had plenty of relationships. But after her Las Vegas years, she came into the employment of Mr. Goldwyn, and she worked for him until her retirement. She always spoke of the Goldwyn family fondly, which only served to spark my curiosity. But Edna didn’t know about my growing obsession with Rafael. No, I’d kept that private, too afraid of her mocking me if she found out… or even worse, telling my stepmother, who didn’t need another excuse to punish me and make me feel worthless.
I wrapped my fingers around the cup of tea in my hands and peeked over at Edna.
“You have something to tell me, don’t you?” she asked and I giggled out loud. She knew me so well.
“I might have… met someone today,” I said, deciding not to tell her every little detail. “He’s… something else.”
“A man?” she asked, hurriedly setting her cup down and giving me a sneaky look. “Go on, tell me everything. I want to know what happened.”
“I ran into him today,” I said, trying to avoid the details as much as possible. “He’s… different . Not like the guys at school. Older. Sexy. Oh, I don’t know.”
“Come on,” she laughed. “Did he make you feel all fluttery?”
“Yes,” I admitted reluctantly. “Butterflies, just like you told me about.”
She gave me a wise little nod and sipped her tea.
“I knew it would happen eventually,” she said simply. “And what troubles you now, Ella? Are you worried your stepmother will find out?”
“Of course,” I said with a sigh. “She would never let me be around him. You know how she reacts every time I want to do something by myself… Go to a party, do anything but chores. She hates it.”
“You have to stand on your own two feet someday, Ella,” Edna told me, knitting her eyebrows together in worry. “I want you to be independent. Martha doesn’t own you.”
“I know,” I said miserably. “I know, it’s just that…”
We both flinched when we heard the front door opening. I was out of the chair in seconds, folding Edna’s blanket and placing it perfectly on the sofa. Edna rushed to the kitchen to wash our mugs, and I fidgeted nervously in the living room, terrified of Martha’s reaction. She hated Edna without ever really giving a real reason for it. I always thought she just hated me having a friend.
“What the hell is going on here?”
Her sharp voice cut through the room like a knife, and I stepped in front of Edna. She was a brave woman, and she’d gone through many hardships in her life, but when Martha was around, she seemed to cower in fear, and I hated it.
“I’m just having a friend over,” I told Martha, and she rolled her eyes.
“You don’t have friends, Ella,” she said viciously. “An old lady who lives on the same land isn’t a friend.”
I bit back my reply and watched Martha storm through the kitchen, leaving shopping bags in her wake.
“Make sure she leaves now,” she called out behind her. “And take out the trash while you’re at it.”
I winced at the harshness of her words, but Edna patted my back. “Don’t worry,” she said with a weak smile. “I’ve dealt with bitches like her my whole life.”
“Edna!” I giggled in surprise. She wasn’t really one to cuss.
“I tell it like it is,” she grinned. “By the way, before I leave… I brought you something.”
She made me stretch my palm out and placed something light and papery in it. I looked down to find a wad of cash.
“Edna!” I said in shock. “What is this?”
“I know you want to get away from her,” she said. “And I just wanted to help you along. This house is too small for you, Ella. You need to get away.”
“I… I don’t know what to say,” I mumbled. “But I really can’t accept this, Edna. It’s just too much!”
“You can, and you will,” she insisted. “And I want to play a part if your story, even if it is a small one.”
My eyes watered but she hushed me and left the house. I watched her walk down the path as the sky turned midnight blue, and I knew that no matter what Martha said, Edna was the best friend I’d ever had.
But the money felt heavy in my hand, and I stashed it down the front of my top so Martha wouldn’t notice. But that wasn’t the only reason I was nervous.
Things had been so different a mere few hours ago, when I hadn’t gone into the mansion, hadn’t met Rafe Goldwyn in the flesh. That morning, I knew I was going to leave the small sleepy town we lived in, and walk away not regretting anything. But now, here I was, with Rafe on my mind and my heart beating with a new purpose.
A few hours ago, walking away seemed like the easiest thing to do.
But now, I felt like invisible strings tied me to the house… and pulled me towards the mansion.
Towards him .