Chapter Eleven
To have sustenance but no peace, or to have no privilege but a content heart, if you had to, what would you choose?
This question and many more made laps in my brain as the first week in my new life passed, the longest week might I add. As my mother and I attempted to settle with the extravagant life we were never fortunate enough to have, like the new SUV that arrived on the doorstep the first morning I had been here. Jeffrey handed me the key with a quiet smile before leaving, not uttering a single word.
We couldn't see my father just yet, the policy requiring the patient to be given at least seven days to settle before any interaction with the outside was made. My mom had never been happier in her life, as she pranced around the pre-furnished house that was too big for us, familiarizing herself with the interior gladly using the car to make a trip for groceries and other errands.
I had desperately one day tried to sit her down and explain the scenario which had lead us down to this new beginning, but she had just smiled, whispering 'I trust you hun. You would always do the right thing.’ The gleam of joy in her eyes, one which I didn't remember the last time adorned by her had made me quiet down, just for some moments enjoying the pure happiness radiating from her.
At least one of us was content with ourselves.
As for myself, I spent the days with an aching heart, sulking like I had never before, replaying over and over the time I had spent with Nova, the moments that still made me weak in the knees. And then I remembered how he had abandoned me at the last moment, going off with his life like I meant nothing to him.
Sometimes I wanted to rip his head off, sometimes I wanted him to hold me in his arms and just forget the world. What’s a girl left to do?
And I tried to hide it as best as I could, as to not worry my mother from the overly enthusiastic vibe she had become a fan of recently. But, I couldn't help but cry because of the pain I felt deep in my bones, every nerve aching from a loss I never thought I would be affected from. But I did think of him, I did think of my broken heart, and I did sob in the plush new mattress in my new room at night.
On the eighth day we visited dad, who after many years, looked like he had a purpose, eyes not glassed over. He averted my gaze, ignored me as best as he could in the grassy section set up with one bench on which he sat with mom. I didn't try to strike a conversation with him either.
The ninth day came and mother left home early to run some errands. I sat at the breakfast nook in the vast kitchen, and suddenly got enamored by all the memories of Nova I had at this time of the day. And soon I transformed into a blubbering, sobbing mess at the granite breakfast nook, hands clenching my chest to somehow make the awful ache in the middle of my chest stop.
As tears ran down my face, I didn't notice the door open, nor did I notice the shuffling of shoes as my mother soon enveloped me into soft, loving arms, my forehead resting on her shoulder as sobs ridded my body.
She shushed me in that calming tone she had been blessed with, quiet encouragements of 'there, there hun', one hand continuously rubbing back and forth along my shaking spine.
In her arms, soon the tears dried out, and my breathing evened, as I lifted myself up to see her smiling at me with her aged eyes, a complete contrast of what I felt at the moment.
"What's bothering you Rosaline?" She gently asked, wiping away any remnant tears with her thumbs, still holding me close.
And despite years of being her protector, years of keeping all my emotions to myself, in the quiet morning sat in the kitchen of a beautiful home in Las Vegas, I spilled all the details to her of what my life had been the days we'd been separated. We never had the chance of a normal mother-daughter relationship, but as she listened to me blubber about how my heart ached and I still didn't know why, it felt as though I was talking to a long-time friend. In that moment, it didn't feel like a young girl who strived to give everything for her family, her sanity included, or an experienced aged woman who had been through too much in life, I was just a girl asking her mother to sooth the pain that had her up at night.
When I ended my story, my mother let a smile shine my way, gently cupping my cheek in her palm before stating, "You might be my little savior, but you're quite naive when it comes to emotions Rose." She slightly chuckled before continuing, "This guy you spent only days with has you crying yourself to sleep, and you're still wondering what's going on? Isn't it obvious hun? You've fallen absolutely in love with him."
Love.
I never knew I was capable of that emotion.
"When you were young you always asked why I never left your father, and I never gave you a direct answer then. Here's why Rose. Despite his habits, or what he developed into, he is still the love of my life. I could never be apart from him, no matter how much pain I have to suffer. Because the pain I feel when I'm away from him is a lot more than when I'm with him, despite him being a total ass at times."
I silently listened to my mother as she relayed the inner workings of love to me, gently holding me in her arms, eyes burning and mind a little fuzzy, ears ringing from the sudden revelation that had descended on me.
"So, this ache you in feel in your heart, like you have just half of it and the other half was torn apart, that's just your heart yearning to be close to him. To the one it's fallen helplessly for."
"But he didn't even come to see me off, like he didn't even care. How can I love him?" I blankly asked, sounding like a tiny child trying to understand the logic behind the sky being blue.
"These decisions are not ours to make hun. Our hearts fall for them, and they fall fast. Hearts really don't care if they serve you right or not." I still sat there, taking in the idea of it all. Love. I had fallen in love with Nova. It had taken mere days of being with him and his relentless teasing to fall for him. His lips that had touched my skin had permanently left a mark on my heart.
A small smile crept on my face as the thought settled. It all made sense now, I had fallen in love with Nova. Completely and foolishly. Without limits. It had only taken me sometime to recognize it.
"Now are you gonna sit there and smile like a silly girl all day, or are you gonna go and get the other half of your heart back?" My mother enthusiastically added, thrusting the keys to the new car in my palm. She ushered me to stand up and walk to the door, hugged me tightly as I gained focus and jumped into the car, turning it on instantly and backing out of its parking spot.
I was easily able to identify the night life section of the grand city. It had only taken twenty minutes for me to abruptly stop in front of the luxurious entrance of the casino which only a few days ago I saw as my death grounds.
How wrong I had been.
I instantly ran through the doors, running towards the long line of private elevators, pushing the button to the second one on the left multiple times, sprinting in as it arrived, and pushing the button to the top. My lungs heaved from the action, a nervous tingle running through my body at the thought of seeing him again. I nervously fixed a stray strand of my hair, before straightening my shirt lightly, nerves taking the best of me.
I walked out of the elevator and towards the double doors. I had found a purpose for my life, who knew love would find me. I swiftly pressed my thumb to the fingerprint reader hoping it still worked. Luck was on my side. I opened the heavy door and entering the living room which had served as my bedroom for several days.
I looked around the place, expecting Nova to pop up any moment. But when he didn't show up, I called out his name, walking further into his home, walking through the kitchen where we had spent hours talking back and forth. I hastily entered his bedroom, expecting him to be there, but to no avail.
Calling out his name again, I entered the walk-in closet to find it oddly empty, shirts and jeans gone from their usual position.
He wasn't here.
He was gone.
Nervously, I took out my phone, skimming to find Jeffery's number from the one time he had called me to inform me of my dad's admittance into the rehabilitation center. I nervously tapped on the number, eyes going misty from my search which had not proved fruitful.
My throat felt clogged with tears as I tried to clear it, hearing Jeffrey pick up on the other end, trying to hide the fact that I was near tears.
"Hey Rose. You alright?" Came his casual tone, clearly unaware of my dilemma.
"Hey Jeff. Listen do you know where Nova is." I decided to cut straight to the chase, not having it in me to waste time with small talk.
"Yeah he left for Los Angeles last night to visit one of the hotels of the estate. Rose, is everything alright?" His voice raised in concern, as I wobbled out of the closet and sat on the dining table chair, hands shaking from the panic.
"But why is he visiting one of the hotels of the estate? Shouldn't he be here in the casino?" I questioned, trying desperately to understand.
"Rose, didn't you hear? Papa Riche chose Nova to be his next inheritor this week. Nova is the next owner of the estate."
Nova is the next owner of the estate.
Nova is the next owner of the estate.
Nova is the next owner of the estate.
These words swirled in my head as Jeffrey's words became distant. Despite suspecting it, the news came as a huge shock to me. He was the next owner of a multi-billion estate. My other half was the owner of a multi-billion-dollar estate.
Suddenly, I zoomed back in, hearing Jeffrey repeat my name through the phone.
"Jeffrey, can you tell me exactly where I'll find Nova right now?"
"Rose, you're really starting to creep me out. Tell me what's going on. Should I call Nova?"
A loud panicked 'NO' escaped from my lips before I could stop it, horrified by the idea.
"Okay, okay. I won't tell him. Jeez." Came Jeffrey's teasing tone. "I’ll send you the location right now Rose."
Satisfied I thanked him repeatedly, making him promise not to tell Nova we had spoken. I didn't need him worrying over me in addition to all the stress I am sure he would be under, with shifting to one of the highest position in the estate monarchy and his obsession to please his family.
I ran out of the hotel as fast as I could, feeling my phone ding lightly in my hand, seeing Jeffrey's name pop up along with a location marked nearly five hours away from where I was now.
Nobody said this would be easy.
Jumping into the car and turning the key into the ignition, I set out on the journey to claim back my heart.
xxxxx
Love must give you supernatural powers, because I was able to finish the five hour long journey from one city to another with only one pit stop for gas, my nerves not letting me settle long enough to stay somewhere or eat anything.
With the map of the location showing in the system of the new car, I happily managed to get myself stuck in traffic, heart nearly ready to burst through my chest as I felt the nerves lapping at my consciousness. I rapidly honked at numerous cars, but had no success. Peeking at the navigation system, without traffic the hotel appeared to be only a two-minute drive away.
It wasn't that far.
I could actually make it.
Before I could change my mind, I pulled the car towards the left, hastily parking it as near to the sidewalk as I could, which meant my car was still stuck in between traffic. I turned off the car, pulling out the key and jamming it into the back pocket of my jeans as I threw open the door and ran as fast as I could through the loud traffic, a small arrow on my phone guiding me towards the hotel that Nova was allegedly in.
Less than ten minutes of running later, a majestic hotel with huge letters declaring it to be 'Riche Temporary Residencies' in bold golden came to my view. I slowed enough to catch my breath after continuously running, huffing slightly as I continued my speed walking towards my destination.
Jamming the phone into my pocket, I entered the huge hotel, the lobby similar in glamour with the casino, a vast number of people walking to and fro.
Now where could I find Nova?
All through my rush to get to him, I haven't stopped once to consider where he would be within the hotel. Was he staying in a suite? Was he in some meeting room? Was there some room where the new owner of the estate sat and enjoyed the luxury the estate has to offer? I had no idea.
Slowly, I moved towards the reception, hoping to somehow pry his location from the staff. I approached a friendly looking young guy with blond hair tapping away on a computer. I reached the counter just as he looked up.
"Hey can you tell me where I will find Nova Riche?" I cut straight to the chase, watching as his wide smile simmered down, becoming a shocked one.
"Ma'am, only authorized personnel are allowed to be informed about the position of the owner of the hotel. I can't give you the information." He gently explained, eyes looking me up and down.
"Please. He knows me. I just have to meet him." I continued, hoping to somehow get the information.
"I'm sorry ma'am. I can't help you unless I have proof of you being one of his acquaintances." He shook his head slightly, a sympathetic smile appearing on his face.
I slowly bowed down my head, unsure of what to do next. Just as I was nearly ready to follow my only plan of throwing a tantrum or doing something attention seeking enough to be escorted to Nova, a gruff voice sounded from my right, asking for the location of the elevators.
My head shot up instantly, I had heard this voice before.
I came to find one of the bodyguards that had brought me to the casino in the first place stood to my right, talking to the receptionist on the next stand. He was the one that sat with me in the back, the one with the dragon tattoo on his neck. Surely enough, a dark dragon face peeked out from the collar of his dark jacket.
I instantly reacted, holding onto his forearm suddenly, before looking at the shocked young receptionist, hastily stating, "Hey he knows that I know Nova. He took me to him." My head turned to the expressionless bodyguard, "Tell him I know Nova. I need to meet him right this instance."
When his expression didn't change, I resorted to begging.
"Please. I have to see him. You have to help me. Don't you have an ounce of humanity?" He stared at my face with a stoic expression for a few more seconds, before letting out a gruff 'she's with me.' And walking straight away, easily releasing my grip on his arm. I excitedly followed his as he walked down the huge lobby, thankful for the blessing that had been this bodyguard.
He walked down a corridor before coming up to a large number of elevators leading to various floor in the huge building. He pushed the button for the third one situated to my right, the machine dinging soon, as he simply walked in and pressed the button 62, me following suit.
This was it.
I was going to tell Nova how I truly felt.
The elevator soon arrived on the required floor, the doors sliding open, giving way to a modern waiting area leading to a corridor with numerous doors set closed. The bodyguard walked out towards the door which was the second to the left, before turning his expressionless line of vision towards me.
"He’s in a meeting right now."
With those words, he reverted back towards and then into the elevator, leaving me standing in front of the door like a clueless idiot.
Initially, I intended to wait. I had already had enough dramatic experiences today. I didn't need to storm into a meeting room and attract more attention than I already had.
But soon ten minutes passed, followed by twenty, then thirty, and there's only so much time I could spend waiting outside a room when my heart is flying around my chest like a bird in a cage.
Slightly angry and agitated, I decided to do what I wanted, and right now I wanted to see Nova, and he was behind this door. Therefore, this door was going down.
I smacked open the heavy door with an angry expression, entering a room with a dozen people sitting around a long table, all heads turned towards me due to my dramatic entrance. My eyes searched for his familiar face, eyes squinting further when I saw him sitting at the top seat of the table, expression shocked at seeing me.
"I need to speak with you." I loudly stated, eyes focused on the gorgeous man still gapping at me.
When he didn't instantly reply, my eyes squinted further, nearly ready to run him over, my anger from that night he hadn't come to see me off coming back full force. It was soon I would've just screamed at him in front of everyone, but he slightly cleared his throat, mumbling a quick, 'we will continue this soon gentlemen.' in his deep voice. People started to get up and shuffle away from their seats as I moved away from the door, eyes still set harshly on Nova as he tried to avert my gaze, shaking someone's hand.
As soon as the room was empty, I snapped.
"Who do you think you are?" was my first line, spitting the words with the conviction of a straight accuser.
His eyes shot up instantly, as he too felt the impending storm coming his way, slowly getting up with hands raised slightly, a slightly scared expression on his face as he gave off a gentle 'Rose, baby, calm down.'.
"Don't you dare tell me to calm down Nova. Not today. I speed to your suite first thing in the morning, drive a straight five hours to get to you, run through traffic, beg your bodyguard to take me to you, wait half an hour outside this door for you to tell me to calm down? I will not calm down, you calm down." I spitted angrily, words leaving my mouth without much thought.
"Why in the world did you not come to see me off that day? Did I not mean anything to you? Could you not have spared a few minutes? Or I was just a partner to you in the end?"
He took a step towards me, before visibly take a step back from me as I glared at him, hands raised in a calm down motion, adding 'babe I can explain'.
I didn't pay any need to his actions, continuing my rant.
"And did me leaving not affect you at all? Are you perfectly fine? Are you not hurting? Because I’ve been walking around with an ache in my chest since the day I left you. I had no idea why because even if I had any idea, it was demolished by the little invisibility act you pulled when I was about to leave. And then," I stopped to take a deep breath, chest heaving from the exertion my lungs were going through, "And then, my mom, my mom of all people tells me I'm in love. I had no fucking idea Nova. Because of you. I’m in love with you, and I had no idea, and that's just sad. It's sad."
His expression changed visibly as I uttered the words, look of shock changing to a look of utter adornment, eyes softening as he looked at me get misty eyed, despite desperately trying not to, in front of him.
"And I know you probably don't love me back. I know you have trust issues or family issues or many other issues, but my heart feels ripped in half, and I came here to basically say one thing."
I harshly wiped away the single tear that had escaped my eye, glaring at him stood mere footsteps away from me.
"My life was, but my heart wasn't part of the collateral. Either you make it whole, or you give me back the other half to fix myself." I finished with a loud, deep breath, a shudder running through my body as the adrenaline wore off, my eyes downcast as the moment ended.
I gently closed my eyes, a way to try and ward off my tears, silently hearing Nova shuffle towards me from the other side of the table. His hands gently came to rest over my shaking ones. Fingers sliding through mine, as he lifted our connected hands and pressed a gentle kiss to my knuckles. He was close enough for me to smell the musky scent he always gave off.
My eyes opened when he lightly lifted my tucked chin with his fingers, blue eyes especially vibrant as he looked down at me with that one emotion he'd exhibited before, just stronger.
"All this time I was confused as to why my heart ached suddenly, and today I find out it ached to be near someone who ran through traffic to get to me." He slightly smiled, eyes holding mine captive.
"I'd realized it before, and I'll state it now. I don't know how, I don't know when, but somehow, I am absolutely, completely, painfully in love with you, and my heart has never felt more at home than when I'm with you. So, part of collateral or not, would you stay with me, and keep me whole forever?"