Chapter 18
Olivia
I was pissed. Angry at Colt, and angry at myself. For some idiotic reason, I let my emotions get involved. For some bullshit reason, I put my personal need for release over a professional need to solve this damn case. I let myself be sucked in by that bastard’s warm brown eyes and the comfort of his embrace that I completely forgot why the fuck I was meeting him in the first place! Being near the club member of a motorcycle gang felt too much like home. It felt too much like my childhood.
I needed to stay as far away from him as I could get.
“I can take you back to your car, you know!”
I hated how I stopped at his voice. I hated the fact that I actually considered his offer. I should have kept my heart and my mind in check when it came to Colt. From the first moment I laid eyes on him and thought about how handsome he looked, I knew I should have guarded myself. The second I had an unprofessional thought about him, I should have backtracked and found another way around all of this. Helping him without getting close to him.
“It’s cold! You’re gonna get sick!”
I snickered. Like he fucking cared if I got sick. I slowly turned my head around and found Colt standing at the corner. He had on nothing but some pajama pants and a shirt. The fabric of his clothes blew around as the wind kicked up. I folded my arms over my chest and clenched my jaw, trying not to give away how cool the Northern California air was becoming this time of year. But, as I stood there with my cell phone in my hand, the idea of a ride back to my car in the park sounded like a good idea. Hell, for all I knew my car had been towed. I looked down at the Uber app on my phone and groaned.
Your ride will be there in fifty-two minutes.
“It’s just a fucking ride, Olivia. Not a commitment.”
I wanted to slap the smug right off that bastard’s face. I canceled my ride and locked my phone, then turned around on my heels. Taking him in was enough to make me shiver. Enough to warm me in the brisk fall California air. I made my way back for him and kept his eyes locked with mine, then sighed as I walked past him. I wasn’t going to say a word. I didn’t want to speak with him. All I needed was to get back to my fucking car so I could get back to the office.
Hopefully no one would notice that I hadn’t changed clothes.
“Let me grab my things and I’ll get you back to the park,” Colt said.
But, all I did was lean against his bike and wait.
I pulled out the passenger helmet from its container and slipped it over my head. I made sure the visor was down so I wouldn’t have to deal with Colt’s eyes falling onto my face. I knew it was petty. Stupid. Childish. It made me feel better, though. It made me feel as if there was a barrier between us that needed to stay there for the duration of my stay in Redding.
“Wanna stop for coffee before I get you to the park?” Colt asked.
I snickered and watched a grin slide across his cheeks.
“Just playin’ with ya. I’ll get you back to your car as quickly as I can,” he said.
Rather than wrapping my arms around him, I settled for the handlebars on the side of his bike. I gripped the bike underneath me as tightly as I could with my thighs and hung on for dear life. But once we started taking some sharp turns into town, my arms favored his waist. My legs favored being wrapped around him. My cheek favored his back.
And as I felt him tense against me, I knew he favored it as well.
I hated that I still loved the feel of my arms around his waist. I hated the fact that my legs molded to his so effortlessly. So easily. I hated how warm he felt and how my body gravitated to his with every turn we took. But, the doubt was there. That massive issue lingered between us, and it wasn’t going away anytime soon. I still had a job to do and he still had a dedication to his guys. I knew how deep that dedication ran, too. I grew up with it. I watched my father half-kill himself for his guys some days. Oh, it used to make my mother so spitting angry.
When she wasn’t high on something.
I tried to keep my grasp as loose as possible around him. But, there were some turns that caused me to grip down onto his shirt. His leather vest. Even his fucking thighs, depending on how sharp the turn was or how steep the descent of the hill was. I was relieved when we pulled into the park and I saw my car. Still sitting there, without having been towed or ticketed for any reason. And I silently cursed myself when Colt parked the bike and I had to get off.
Because I was disappointed that I’d have to let him go.
I slipped away from the leather and took my helmet off. I tossed it to Colt, trying not to look at him as I made my way to my car. I pulled out my keys from the pocket of my coat as Colt locked the helmet away, and I unlocked my car. The motorcycle engine idled. He was waiting on something, but I didn’t know what.
I opened my car door before taking a chance to look over at him. And I found his eyes glued to me.
“Tomorrow morning. By nine-thirty. That’s what you’ve got,” I said.
He sucked air through his teeth before he nodded, then he struck up the roar of his bike. He kicked off and drove away without a second thought, tearing onto the road and speeding off. If I wanted to be a real bitch, I could have gone after him and ticketed him for a moving violation. But, that meant more interacting with him, and I didn’t want that. I didn’t need that.
It was dangerous, being near him.
I looked around at the few people eyeing us in the park and cursed myself. Towns like this always talked. I simply hoped that the people in the park would talk amongst their friends and that none of their friends were fucking cops in the area. I slipped into my car and cranked it up. I blasted the heat and waited for the windows to defrost. I leaned my head back into the seat and closed my eyes, pushing all thoughts of yesterday and the events out of my head.
What the fuck was I going to do if that man didn’t contact me?
I had to operate under the assumption that he wouldn’t. Now that he knew the fact that I was trying to wiggle my way closer to his club, there was no way in hell he’d abide by our agreement. He was long gone, and I was without a bargaining chip for this case. I was without the one connection I told my boss would blow this out of the fucking water. Everyone was going to be pissed off, and everyone would want to know what happened.
“Sorry, guys, just fucked away our only lead. You know me! Silly girl!”
I slammed my hands onto the wheel of my car. I threw it into reverse before I made too much of a scene rocking the damn thing side to side on its chassis. If I was going to be screaming and cursing in my car, the least I could do was get the thing away from children. So, I headed down the road. I kept my eyes peeled for some sort of breakfast joint. I had enough time to either get food in me or change my clothes. I didn’t have enough time to do both.
And food was always more imperative in my world.
I pulled into a diner not too far from the precinct and walked inside. A kind waitress met me with a smile and sat me down, then I promptly ordered a cup of coffee. Warm eggs and pancakes sounded nice. But, I couldn’t help but feel as if people were watching me. Staring at me. Like they could see my sins written on my face. I slipped my phone out of my pocket and turned on my camera. I looked at myself to make sure I didn’t have any visible signs of my debauchery on me. I had a couple of red marks on my neck. Nothing serious. Nothing some cubes of ice wrapped up in a napkin wouldn’t take care of. I had a bruised spot on my chest, but all I needed was to button up my damn shirt.
Other than fixing my hair to be more presentable, I looked fine.
Minus the dead stare in my eyes.
“Here you go, your coffee. I went ahead and brought you a carafe as well. Would you like creamer?” the waitress asked.
“Lots of it,” I murmured.
“Great. Are you ready to order?” she asked.
“Yes. Could I get the two-egg special, scrambled with cheese? And a side order of two pancakes as well. Strawberry jelly, if you have it. And can I also get a small cup of ice?”
“Yes, you can, to all of it. I’ll go put this order in and be right back with your ice,” the waitress said, smiling.
“I appreciate it.”
I sat there, running my fingers through my hair and trying to get all the knots out. But, after struggling with it, I started digging around in my pockets. I knew I had a rubber band somewhere. Or a hair tie. Or bobby pins. Or anything to pull my knotted hair back with. That was the struggle with my think hair. Knots were a pain in the ass to get out.
“Here you go.”
I looked up at my waitress and saw her holding out a hair tie for me.
“Thanks,” I said.
“And here’s your small cup of ice. I brought one of our nicer napkins. The paper ones will fall apart before you can get the marks to go away,” she said.
I slowly took the hair tie from her as our eyes connected.
“Don’t worry. I’ve done this rodeo a few times. I’ll make sure you look presentable before you head off to work,” she said, winking.
I chuckled and shook my head as I threw my hair up into a ponytail.
“That obvious?” I asked.
“Only to a girl who knows what she’s looking at. My advice is to take the ice and the napkin into the bathroom. Wrap up three pieces, and hold it to the red marks for fifteen seconds. Follow up with warm water, and the mark should fade,” she said.
“Wow. You really have done this.”
“My husband and I did stuff like this all the time when we were sneaking around behind our parents backs in high school,” she said.
I giggled. “High school sweethearts. Nice.”
“If you need anything else, let me know. Your food should be up soon.”
And when I told the woman “‘thank you”, I actually meant it.