Chapter 36

Ian

Work has been crazy this week, for me at least. Nothing has really changed other than the fact that I’m not able to push thoughts of Lorali from my head long enough to get anything done. That beautiful siren has me entranced. Thankfully tomorrow night is the Sweetheart’s Gala and I can see her again. Stacey wasn’t very happy when she got a call from my assistant that things have changed and she wouldn’t be accompanying me to the event. I did try to cushion the blow by making sure she had a pair of tickets and hopefully she’ll be able to find a date. She’s a ten so I have no doubts.

I’ve talked and texted with Lorali frequently this past week but have not seen her in person since she kicked me out early Tuesday morning so she could get ready for work. We’d pretty much stayed in her room for forty-eight hours, only leaving to run out and grab something to eat. I was able to put out work fires by using my cell phone. Each time there was an issue I was thankful to have such dedicated people on my team that could pick up the slack. I do think my personal assistant had a mild stroke when I called and told her not to expect me in on Monday, but there was no way was I leaving her bed until she forced me out.

We talked about everything under the sun: work, school, dreams, family, but we never discussed us. This actually floored me, most women that come after me for more than just sex want to try to jump right in and talk about our future. It’s almost immediately after our mutual climax: When can I see you again? I want you to meet my parents. We should go away together. Usually, the red flags go up, and I’m out the door before they can straighten their skirts.

With Lorali, it’s different. Discussions with her didn’t include words like us or we, they were about her and her plans, the things she’s working towards. She hopes to be married one day but never set a vibe like she was hinting that she wanted it to be me, just mentioned it in passing that her life would more than likely go that way. She shared her hopes of one day being an investigative reporter and the possibility of children down the road.

She listened intently to me as well, showing no frustration or sadness when I explained that I couldn’t see myself as being a husband or father. She just smiled and nodded like she knew that all along. It was honestly crushing, not that I wanted her to want me in that capacity for her, but her not being able to picture me in those roles at all.

I can tell she’s enjoying spending time with me as much as I am with her, but I can also tell she’s resigned to the fact that we have no future. She somehow knows that I’m not inclined to do the relationship thing, anticipating that what we have will end soon. The idea of not calling her, not texting her once this ends has distracted me. The idea of never holding her, being inside her ever again is devastating.

She has no clue that I’ve never even had what I’ve shared with her with another woman. I’ve never spent two days solid with a woman, never had people at the office screen my calls and weed through them before they got to me. I’ve never called into work just to spend the day lounging on a bed talking about my life goals and favorite movies.

Well, not just. There was quite a bit of physical interaction between the two of us as well. We both seemed unable to keep our hands off of each other. We did our best to be as courteous as possible. We were well aware that other people were in the apartment, but a few times the extreme volume of the TV or stereo after we were done hinted that we weren’t fooling anyone!

I’d suggested late on Sunday that we could go to my house and be as loud as we wanted. I even tried to sweeten the deal with describing all of the surfaces she’d love to be spread out on around my house, yet she declined, saying she felt most comfortable in her own surroundings.

It wasn’t until earlier today, during a particularly long reflection session that I realized that not once has she initiated contact with me. Every call, every text conversation started with me reaching out first. I tried not to dwell on it, but the longer I tried to force it from my head the more it bothered me. So I asked.

Me: Hey, babe. You busy?

Lorali: Nope. What’s up?

Not busy, but not reaching out just to chat. Ugh just shove my balls in her purse to carry around, only to hand them back out when she sees fits.

Me: Nothing I was just thinking about all the times we talk and text.

Lorali: It’s honestly one of my favorite things.

Me: Really? You never just shoot me a text or call.

Lorali: You’re a busy man; I don’t want to bother you just to say hi :)

Me: I want you to bother me ;)

Lorali: Seriously? I don’t want to get on your nerves and run you off.

Me: Is that so?

Lorali: Yep, I’m not done fucking you yet.

Talk about instant erection! So she’s avoiding behaviors that some men would consider clingy because she wants to keep me around longer? I can live with that! Honestly, I don’t want things to end either.

Me: That’s good to know. I may never be done fucking you!

Lorali: Good to hear. Maybe you won’t cancel on me tomorrow then. Seriously I just don’t want to run you off.

Me: I’m not going anywhere, Lorali.