ALTHOUGH I RECOGNIZED REX WAS probably an actual officiant, I also suspected he was intentionally making this ceremony beyond awful. For whatever reason, Lucian seemed hell-bent on making this wedding that he wanted a completely miserable event I would soon hope to forget.
Our half-drunk—and I suspected high as well—officiant stumbled over the words he read from a leather-bound booklet in his hands. If he really did this for a living, God help the poor souls who had to endure this and stamp it into their memories for all of eternity.
“Is he on something?” I asked halfway through the opening statement.
Lucian shot me a dark look and shook his head. Rex was the one to answer.
“High on life, baby. These vows are new to me, believe it or not.”
Lucian shifted at the admission, and I took notice. Did he pick them out? I thought it would be in my best interest to listen carefully if that was the case, and what I heard surprised me.
I expected sleaze, but what Rex recited was more traditional. He talked about honor and obeying, of course, but he also recited lines that were not quite the norm.
“Do you, Lucian, promise to protect her and always do what’s best for her, even if she may not like it?”
I looked at the man who was about to be my husband, and a weird sensation took root in my gut. He had never been anything but dead serious so far, and I suspected the same was true now.
“I do.”
Goose bumps broke out along my arms, and I tried to regain my bearings. Something about that line shook me to my core. I could still remember a time when all I ever wanted was a protector. A dark avenger. Someone who would come and save us from our life. But I wasn’t a little girl anymore, and I’d been saving myself for a long time.
“And do you, Gypsy, promise to listen and trust that Lucian has your best intentions at heart in all matters, large and small?”
I stared into the inky pools of his eyes, wondering what I was missing. It didn’t make sense to me. None of this made any sense. I didn’t want to respond because everything about this was a lie. But I thought of Birdie and what would happen if either of us went to prison. I imagined the devastation I would see in her eyes when the jig was up, and our lives were officially over. That was all the confirmation I needed to spur me on, and I recited the vows back word for word.
The charade continued with promises of honesty and loyalty in the face of struggles yet to come. Every line felt like it was sealing my fate with some form of dark voodoo I’d never be able to escape, but the truth was, I worried that it was Lucian I’d never escape.
There was already an end in sight. Two years, for better or worse. But it felt like so much more than that. It felt like at that moment, I was surrendering myself to some greater force that would change my life forever.
The ceremony came to an abrupt halt when Rex declared us husband and wife. He didn’t bother to tell us we should kiss, and Lucian didn’t try.
It should have brought me some relief, but all I could think about was when he would.
“Is everything okay?” Birdie bolted up from a seat outside Lucian’s office the moment she saw me.
I stuffed the evidence of my sister’s crime spree into my purse, tucking it away so that I could shred it later. True to his word, Lucian handed it over as soon as I was officially his wife.
“You were supposed to wait downstairs,” I told her.
Worry clouded the pretty blue of her eyes, and I wondered if there would ever come a time when I didn’t see her as a little girl who still needed me.
“What’s going on?” she asked. “Are you still negotiating?”
I offered her a weak smile. It was the easiest and most convenient lie. Birdie always took my word as gospel, and this time was no different. I didn’t want her to worry. I wanted her to know that everything would be all right, even if she didn’t like what I was about to say.
“The deal is done,” I murmured. “We’re married, B.”
Her eyes widened as they drifted to my hand, the ring on my finger weighing me down like a cement block.
“You lied to me,” she accused.
“I’m doing what’s best for both of us,” I insisted. “You don’t see that now, but someday you will. It’s only two years of my life. I know what I’m getting into, and I’m okay with it. I need you to be okay with it too.”
“How can I?” She paced around the room, shaking her blond hair with every jittery motion. “You barely know this guy! He could be a sick, twisted fuck who wants to kill you and eat your liver for all you know.”
“I doubt he’d have gone to the trouble of marrying me if that were true,” I teased. “This isn’t any different than what I’ve been doing for the past four years, B. It’s just another job. A marathon instead of a sprint. It’s going to be okay, and you’re going to be okay because you’re going to get out of here.”
“No.” She came to a dead stop and jammed a finger into her chest. “This is my fault, and I should be the one to pay. I’m not leaving you.”
I couldn’t focus on what happened, and I wouldn’t let Birdie either. We both needed to move forward. “I can talk to you anytime by phone or email,” I assured her. “And you can come visit me once a month.”
Her hands curled into fists at her sides. “That’s not good enough. I can’t just take off—”
“Birdie, there are dangerous men here who want to hurt you. I won’t be able to sleep at night until you tell me that you’re going to move.”
Her lip trembled as she swathed her arms around herself. She knew I wasn’t exaggerating. I’d be sick with worry about her, and it was the truth I was counting on that she’d do exactly what I needed her to.
I choked down the pain in my voice and forced myself to focus. “Remember plan A?”
She nodded. For as long as we’d been in Vegas, I’d had exit strategies in place for us. It only made sense, considering my line of work. And now Birdie would have to use that plan on her own.
The thought tore me up inside, but I couldn’t let her know it. We hadn’t been apart for more than a couple of weeks at a time in the past few years. Back when we first ran, we couldn’t even sleep in separate beds because we were so terrified. But Birdie was a grown woman now, and I needed her to be brave and smart and strong just like I’d been trying to teach her.
“Everything you need is in the apartment.” I held up my fingers as I ticked off the list. “There’s cash, lists of places to stay, and people you can trust there. Ace is going to take you home and make sure you get out of the city safely tonight.”
She blinked at the sudden impact of my statement. “Tonight?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “I will be going to Lucian’s.”
Birdie flung herself at me and squeezed so hard I thought she might actually break me. I wasn’t prepared to say goodbye, but it was better to do it now. This was the only way she would be safe. I had to keep telling myself that to believe it was the right thing to do.
“I’m so sorry, Gypsy,” she sobbed. “I won’t ever let you down again.”
“I know you are,” I whispered. “And I’m going to hold you to that. You can enroll in another GED program. Promise me you won’t quit.”
“I promise,” she heaved the words out.
“And promise me you won’t steal anything else ever again.”
She pulled back, only to reach down and hook her pinky into mine. “Never, ever, ever.”