Chapter 16
“So Jason came by earlier,” Jessie said, taking a seat across from Caitlin. She held a cup of coffee, her fingers sliding nervously along the ceramic.
“Oh yeah?” Caitlin said, not showing any interest though her heart jumped slightly at the mention of Jason’s name. She immediately put a stop to that, mentally hammering the sensation down until she felt nothing. It was a technique that she used to make her forget the awful scene that occurred at the TV producer’s house. She should’ve felt guilty for making Jason eat that hot plantain chip, but he deserved it. Maybe next time he would grasp that there were consequences for being a jerk. But of course she doubted that he would ever learn his lesson. He was just too into himself to think about other people.
Caitlin ran her finger along her notes as she tried to memorize the kitchen terms and techniques that might be included in the exam. The amount to study was tremendous.
“Maybe you should talk with him,” Jessie said, her voice sounding a bit awkward. She set the cup down on the coffee table and seemed torn on what to say next. Finally, she said, “He seemed really sorry about upsetting you.”
With the second mention of Jason, Caitlin lost her concentration. Her mind swung from thinking unkind thoughts of him to wishing that they were studying together or just hanging out. When he wasn’t busy being a jackass, he was actually a nice person to chill with.
“That’s too bad.” Clearly, he had sweet-talked Jessie and had somehow gained her sympathy.
“You know, you’re my friend, so I’m going to tell you that you’re making a huge mistake by not calling him.”
Caitlin leaned her head on the back of the sofa, knowing that her feelings toward Jason were conflicted. She had much time to think about their relationship, and she hated that despite everything, she still cared for him. In fact, she more than cared for him. She loved him. And that realization made her feel even more miserable. Out of all people to fall for, why him? There were other guys out there that were maybe not as good-looking, but they were decent and respectful people. Why couldn’t she fall in love with one of them instead? But logic couldn’t dictate the longing in her heart. Jason was the first guy she liked in a long time, and she thought that he felt the same way. And just when she got closer to him, he turned out to be the biggest creep she ever met. Upon reflection, he’d come into her life, making it one massive, uncomfortable roller-coaster ride. And while she preferred things to stay constant, she found herself crying too much over the past few weeks.
“It was a mistake to let him into my life,” she said, gathering her things and getting up from the sofa. She sensed Jessie’s eyes on her as she made her way to her room. At the rate that things were going, it appeared that the job placement was likely out of her reach. Whether or not she got the job, she was determined to complete the course and get her certificate.
When Monday rolled around, she filed into class to take the exams. She saw the friendly but anxious faces of her classmates, but for some reason, she couldn’t share their nervousness. She wasn’t sure whether it was because her emotions were dead, or if it was because she was well prepared for the test. When the teacher handed out the papers, she saw that the test consisted of a selection of true and false, and multiple choice questions. From her intense studying, she knew the answers to all of them.
“How did you do?” Jane asked when the quiz was finished. Her friend Betty was behind her. They waited for the line ahead of them to clear.
“It was easier than I imagined,” Caitlin said, shifting as the line moved forward.
“I think I passed,” Betty said.
“I think I passed too,” Jane confided, “although last night I couldn’t get a wink of sleep. It seemed that I could hear everything from my husband snoring at my side, to the rain hitting against the windowpane.”
“I’m sure we all did well,” Caitlin said. “At least we’re beyond the halfway point of the curriculum.”
“That’s true. It went by quite fast, didn’t it?” Then her tone sobered, and worry crept into Jane’s voice. “Of course we now have to study for the finals soon.”
“Oh, don’t remind me,” Betty groaned. “No one knows what to expect for the finals.”
“We just have to study more, and be prepared for everything,” Caitlin said shrugging.
Her two friends agreed.
They were almost at the doors when Betty said, “I see Jason up ahead.”
Caitlin looked up and saw that he was staring right at her.
Jane saw him too. She glanced at Caitlin and drew her own conclusions.
“Oh, look, Betty. Let’s go talk to Molly over there. We’ll see you in class tomorrow, Caitlin.”
Caitlin hardly noticed when her two friends took off. She was too busy searching for a way to avoid Jason, but he positioned himself so that it was impossible for her to escape him. Ignoring the determined expression on his face, she made a valiant attempt to brush past him. But it was no use. His hand shot out and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her aside.
“We have to talk, Caitlin.”
The rage that she’d buried suddenly came to the fore. “We have nothing to talk about,” she said coldly. “And please let go of my arm. We’re only classmates, remember?”
A few students glanced curiously over at them but they continued on their way.
Jason rubbed the back of his neck and let out a frustrated sigh. “Look, I’m sorry about what happened on Saturday.”
“You hurt me,” she burst out, no longer able to keep her emotions in check. She wasn’t even concerned whether they had an audience. “I didn’t care about your opinions when I thought that you were an ass. Then you tricked me into thinking you were a nice guy, and I actually liked you.” An involuntary tear ran down the side of her cheek, and she angrily wiped it away with the back of her hand. “It turns out that you’re still an ass.”
Caitlin hadn’t expected all that to pour out of her, and even though everything was now out in the open, she didn’t feel any better. Suddenly, she needed to get away from him before she completely lost control of her emotions. Glancing to the side, she saw the exit and blindly made her way there. But of course he wasn’t done with her, and he followed right behind her.
“Caitlin.” Jason caught the strap of her knapsack, pulling her back. He turned her around to face him. “I’m sorry, okay? I was shocked at seeing you at my ex’s house, and I didn’t know what to do or say. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve never felt like this —” he checked what he was about to say, a startled look appearing on his face.
Lydia James was his ex-girlfriend. That realization penetrated Caitlin’s brain and catapulted her momentarily out of her despair.
She waited to hear what else he would say, but he just shrugged, and said, “I was a dumbass.”
“Yeah, you were dumbass,” she said sniffing.
Since she wasn’t going to stomp away, he tried again. “To be honest I was jealous of the guy in the Maserati. I thought he was one lucky bastard.” He gave her a rueful smile.
“He’s Jessie’s boyfriend,” she said slowly.
“I know. Jessie told me.”
Caitlin walked down the steps and onto the paved walkway.
“Then it was all a misunderstanding,” she said. His behavior toward her that day all made sense now. And the anger she felt earlier dissipated.
“Yeah, it was a misunderstanding, but I still caused you pain.” Guilt and sorrow reflected on his handsome face. “Will you let me make it up to you?” he said hopefully. “Maybe we can go out for dinner.”
She paused, contemplating his offer. But then she came to her senses. “No, I have to study.”
It was a close call, but she almost fell for his charms again. Clearly, he knew how to soften a girl up, likely only to damage her the next day. And while the idea of dating Jason was tempting, she didn’t want her heart broken, especially when she needed to concentrate on graduating from the course.
“Maybe I can help you study for the finals.”
“I don’t need your help.” She turned away from him and looked out into the manicured lawn. Right at the edge of the lawn was a man-made pond with koi fish swimming about. If she didn’t know any better, she would have thought this place was a Buddhist sanctuary rather than a school campus. The mountains loomed in the background, its lush green peaks blending with the palm trees, tropical plants, and flowers that grew on the school property.
“Come, walk with me,” Jason said.
She looked at him for a moment and then went with him to the small pond. Not far off he could hear the birds in the small shrubs, their sweet sounds floating into the air.
After a few minutes, he broke the silence between them. “Do you think you can give me another chance?” he asked.
Her gaze was set straight ahead, and though he wasn’t looking directly at her, he could sense the tension in her body. He didn’t want her to refuse him outright so he forged ahead.
“Jessie told me how important it is for you to do well in your studies,” he continued. “And I also know how badly you want the job placement.”
She still had her back to him, and he decided to try another tactic.
“You’ll be helping me as well.”
“How?” she asked, turning to him now. A challenging light reflected in her eyes. “You’re already doing well in the program.”
“I’ve been missing some classes and falling a bit behind,” he said, telling a half-truth. It occurred to him just then that he needed to bomb some of his practicals so he didn’t outshine her efforts. “All I’m required to do is to pass the course, and my father will be fine with that. You, on the other hand, need to get the job. And I think if you ace the finals, there’s an excellent chance that the job is yours.”
They started to circle back to the walkway when he saw someone who resembled Molowa walking toward the staff parking lot. Damn! He knew that if the director saw him, he would likely beeline over to chat with Jason. That was something he wanted to avoid at all cost.
“Let’s go over here,” he said, steering her back toward the pond. When they reached one of the palm trees that grew at the side of the waterway, he leaned hastily against its trunk, hoping the director didn’t look over in their direction. Caitlin followed him to the palm tree, not noticing his momentary preoccupation.
Jason surreptitiously glanced again at the parking lot and saw that the director had driven off. He allowed himself to relax.
“So you’re telling me that you don’t want the job at Signatures,” she said, coming to stand next to him. “Your chances of getting it are good, if not better than mine.”
Back at the school he was so close to revealing his feelings for her, but she made it clear that she wasn’t interested in him, or what he had to offer. This should’ve been enough for him to back away, but still, he was drawn to her as if he was a glutton for more punishment. And even though he wasn’t sure why he wanted to help her, he just did. In every way possible, he was a fool.
“Maybe I found something better than working at the restaurant.” He pushed himself away from the tree. Bending to pick up a pebble from the ground, he skipped it across the pond.
“And maybe for once you should believe in yourself,” he continued, the words coming out harsher than he intended. “I know you can do it. Why can’t you believe this?”
Caitlin blinked and looked down at the koi that swam toward the spot where the pebble had landed. For a long moment, she didn’t say anything, and he cursed himself for opening his mouth. He likely offended her, and she would be angry with him again.
Finally, she raised her green eyes to Jason, and he saw that they glistened with unshed tears. “You’re the first person who’s ever told me that he believed in me.” She swallowed as if she found the topic difficult to discuss. “You’re a good friend, and I — I want to thank you.”
It took every ounce of his strength to stop himself from dragging her close and kissing her. But she had already spurned him once today, and he didn’t think he could take another rejection from her.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, he said, “I just know you’ll do well.”