Chapter 16
Sienna
After a few moments to regain my composure, and to put on a new pair of underwear, I manage to throw some things into a bag and head back downstairs where Matt is waiting with Liam Beckett and his partner Officer Daniels. I sweep up the glass as best I can, needing to do something to keep my hands busy. My clean up leads me to find my discarded panties from before shoved beneath the chair. Thankfully, I manage to toss them into the laundry room while the guys help my next-door neighbor, Nick, and his boyfriend, Brad, get up some boards over my window, along with securing a tarp in case it rains.
I start to argue leaving my house and going to Matt’s, only to stop myself. I don’t even fight him when he offers to pull my car into the garage before he drives us over in his truck. While I don’t like the idea of not being in my own home, I also am drained beyond any ability to actively disagree about any of this shit tonight. All I want is a hot shower and as much sleep as possible. It will all still be there waiting for me tomorrow.
Along with another call to my insurance adjuster to file the matching home claim to my already processing one for the shop.
Matt is quiet on the ride across town to his apartment. Whether that is because he is working shit over in his head, or allowing me to, is anyone’s guess. It doesn’t matter if he were talking his head off right now, I wouldn’t be able to hear anything over the thoughts running through my head. If only the thoughts offered some kind of reassurance or guidance. They don’t. All they do is give me a fucking headache.
After going through the gate, which requires a code for entry, Matt parks and leads me up the stairs to the second floor. His place is the last on the left, overlooking the lot and the street as well. He is literally able to watch the place like a hawk from his nest. Opening the door, which has a heavy-duty door knob, as well as a massive deadbolt, Matt swings open the door. The lights in the living room turn on, and I don’t miss the familiar chirping of an alarm system.
“You’re locked up so tight up here, I bet the spiders don’t even try to get in,” I tease, toeing my shoes off.
Smirking, Matt tosses my bag onto the bar separating the living room and kitchen. “Packed your sense of humor, I see.”
I shrug. “Some things you never leave home without.”
“Come here, Sienna.” His words are soft, but a command nonetheless.
“Matt, I’m fine, really,” I blurt, waving him off. “I just need a hot shower and about eighteen hours of sleep.”
When I don’t move, he does. Snatching my wrist as it moves through the air, he pulls me to him. My eyes close when he cups my cheek, the softness too much for my emotions to handle right now. “Look at me.” My eyes betray me, snapping to his the moment he speaks. “Good girl,” he says, the two simple words sending a rush through my body, calming me enough that my hands stop shaking for the first time in hours. Matt stares down at me, his eyes filling with concern as he searches mine. “Breathe, babe. You’re stretching yourself too thin; when you do that, you’ll only break.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” Sighing, my eyes drop to his chest.
“Then don’t,” he says, tipping my chin up with his fingers. “It saves time if you shut up and let me talk.”
“Bossy asshole,” I mutter, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Stubborn wench,” he tosses right back at me, his lips twitching up in a smile. “You only get pissy about me voicing my opinion when you know I’m telling you the truth.”
“Opinion?” I snort sarcastically. “Not exactly how I’d describe it.”
“Yeah,” he nods. “My opinion. Because, even though I voice my two cents, I’ve yet to force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. You still have that control you need so much. And, yes, I know you need that, babe. Just like I know you need to use that sarcasm and wit of yours to ease a heavy conversation. I’m also not planning to take any more of that control than you’re willing to give me. Get good with that. What’s happening between us doesn’t seem to be giving us much time to catch up.”
“What is happening between us, Matt?” I ask, barely recognizing my own voice. “We’re moving so fast it leaves my head spinning.”
“Sweet Sienna.” His knuckles brush my cheek. “My head hasn’t stopped spinning since that night at Dirty Dog.”
“I don’t think that’s normal, Matt. You don’t fall into a relationship the way we have. Insta-man, insta-relationship,” I swallow hard. “Those insta-love style romances aren’t reality. They only happen in romance novels and Hallmark movies.”
“When my Pop was stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, in Missouri, for his basic training, he met my mom. She was a waitress at a damn Cracker Barrel and spilled a pitcher of tea right into his lap. First time he saw her he was a fucking goner. You meet him, he’ll tell you himself, his head hasn’t stopped spinning in thirty-nine years.” Stepping closer, he bends and brushes a soft kiss over my lips, his tongue darting out to wet my bottom lip. “Relationships don’t come with some how-to manual. There’s no acceptable timeframe or protocol to follow. This is our story, Sienna. Just breathe, the pages will write themselves.”
“Matt—”
“Plus,” he continues, ignoring me. “I haven’t used the ‘R’ word until now. If I remember correctly, you threw it out first. The only label I’m concerned with is the one where I get to say you’re mine. The rest doesn’t matter to me.”
“I can’t be held responsible for what I say when I’m intoxicated,” I murmur, rolling my eyes.
“Those times,” he purrs, his smile spreading. “And when you’re naked and moaning my name, are the only times you don’t hold back. It’s when your mind shuts off and you fucking relax enough to let me in.” His arm slips around my waist, pulling me flush against him, those soft lips of his only a breath away from mine. “I wasn’t expecting any of this either, but I’m not about to pretend I don’t like the way it feels when you look at me like you’re looking at me now.”
“How am I looking at you?” I ask, nearly choking on my tongue when his eyes warm.
“Like I’m yours.”
Taking his face in my hands, I push up on my toes and take his mouth with mine. Matt doesn’t falter. Grabbing my hips, he lifts me from my feet, kissing me back, yet still allowing me to set the pace. I don’t want words. The last thing I want to do is process any fucking thing else tonight. What I want is for Matt to shut my mind off in all the ways I know he can. I want to feel something other than the worry and fear that something horrible is waiting just around the corner to break me for good.
I only hope I can handle what this could do to my heart.
At the rate my feeling are growing for him, I can’t help have some concern for what it will feel like when they come crashing back down to reality. I have often found that if it feels too good to be true, that’s because the boom is about to come down and slap you right in the face. Reality can be sweet and wonderful. It can also be a demolition crew that will remind you that what you see isn’t always what you get to keep.
Dismissing the unwelcome thoughts that will only ruin the mood, and cause more conversation that I would rather not have right now, I push them from my mind while my fingers work at Matt’s belt buckle. Our clothes are quickly strewn around the room, along with every rational thought in my head. Shoving him to the couch, I straddle his thighs as his hands roam my body. Reaching between us, I wrap my fingers around his cock, giving him a slow stroke before guiding him inside me. His head lulls back against the cushions, the air rushing out of him on a pleasure-filled groan. Closing his eyes tightly, he grips the back of my neck with one hand, while the other hand stays firmly planted on my hip. Though I know he wants to move, he doesn’t.
“Mmm, Matt,” I moan, my fingers running into his hair as I swivel my hips slowly. “You feel so good.”
“Ah hell.” His hand at my hip tightens its hold, his handsome face almost looking pained. I can see how hard it is for him to stay still. It makes me want him that much more.
“Good?” I ask, pressing my lips to his neck.
“Fuckin’ great, babe,” he breathes. “Please move.”
“Please?” I ask, grinding down on him. “Is that what you said?”
“Fuck yes,” he grounds out, his eyes flying open to meet mine, the blue furiously churning like an angry sea. “Please grind down on my cock. Fucking ride me, Sienna.”
I do exactly that. Each movement of my hips is slow and calculated. I want to enjoy every second of this. Enjoy him. Us. My lips trail down his neck, tasting and teasing while he makes the sexiest sounds I have ever heard. Each time my name leaves his lips, it only fuels the frenzy, only increases the need I have for his touch.
Clinging to his shoulders, I throw my head back, my release slamming into me so hard it steals my breath. “That’s it, baby.” Matt’s voice is thick and rough. “Take your pleasure from me. Fuck that’s beautiful.”
His hips shift, driving up into me in slow, yet powerful thrusts. Our mouths meet in a wild kiss filled with clashing teeth and tangling tongues. Matt chases his orgasm like a man crazed. I love it. My body jolts with the force of each slam of his hips. Every growl leaving his lips is greedily devoured by me until it feels like he is the only thing holding me upright.
“Damn, baby,” Matt grunts, ripping his mouth from mine. Brushing his nose along mine, his body stills. “You can’t tell me this doesn’t feel right.”
“You’re right,” I agree, collapsing to his chest as I attempt to catch my breath. “I can’t.”
That’s what scares me.
With everything good I have in my life being attacked mercilessly, admitting that only adds to the inventory of potential things I have to lose.