Chapter One
Niya
I pulled up to a motel on the fourth day, my body running on gas station hotdogs and energy drinks and I was starting to feel it. I cried for so many miles that I had nothing left, my phone died after the millionth call and texts. I just needed to get away I couldn't face Colt, Maggie, Razor any of them especially not Star. I think if I saw either of them at the moment I would snap and my new gun skills definitely would have come into play, no I needed space time and in time courage to face them again.
*
The women at the reception desk looked up as I entered the office giving me the once over, I was still in my dress from the party so her next comments where understandable
“You alone” she asks me a cigarette hanging out of her mouth
“Yes”
“You sellin' yourself”
“No, I'm not selling myself” I tell the bitch as she looks at me again
“I don't want no trouble”
“Just give me the dam key”
“Checkouts at noon”
“I'll be staying a while” I tell her
“Humph you sell yourself I get a cut”
“I'm not a fucking whore” I grab the key and leave slamming the door on my way out “Fucking bitch” I mumble as I walked to my room. I had no luggage, no bags of any kind. I had my emergency money that I always kept in my car and that was it, but even that wasn't going to last for too long. The room wasn't too bad double bed, TV the usual motel looks to it, but what did I expect for twenty-five dollars. I lay down on the bed and just stare at the ceiling, how could my life go from amazing to shit in a matter of hours, but then my life has always been one shit moment to the next.
**
I'd been in the motel a few days and I felt so run down, I survived on vending machine food, not willing to leave my room for too long. I was still bursting into tears at the drop of the hat and still cried myself to sleep every night, images of Colt and Star together forever etched in my brain. I would wake up, remember and throw up it was never ending. My dress was starting to smell after the first week when I decided I needed clothes, I found a charity shop just down the block so I grabbed just a few things shirts, jeans a pair of flip flops and a pair of sand shoes. I also stopped in at the grocery store and picked up food that wasn't in a vending machine, as I was walking to my room a women's voice stopped me
“Hay girl, your new” I turn around to see a very pretty girl with brunette hair and curves that would make a pin-up jealous “Brandy” she says holding out her hand
“Oh, um I'm Niya” I lick off the Cheetos from my fingers and shake her hand
“What room you in?” she asks me
“Twenty-four you” she nods towards her door
“Nineteen where practically neighbors, how long you been here?” she asks me
“About a week I think” not really sure of how many days have gone by
“Oh, I haven't seen you around”
“I stay in my room mostly”
“You hiding”
“No why?”
“I don't know, you’re in a shitty motel and your hiding out in your room” I smile and shake my head
“Just needed a break from life”
“And you choose the Sunset Motel to vacation” I laugh, because out of the places to holiday this would be the last place on earth I’d come to
“No, I just saw it and stopped”
“Well I'm glad you did, now we can get to know each other” Brandy proceeds to tell me about her life and I mean her whole life and how she ended up here. She'd followed her boyfriend here who then cheated on her for a guy named Arthur, I really don't know what to say to that only that only he must have been crazy because Brandy was gorgeous.
“So why are you here really and don't give me you just needed a vacation bullshit”
“I had a fight with my boyfriend and I needed a break”
“He, cheat on you to” I nodded and burst into tears, the sting of his betrayal still hurting
“Oh, honey it'll be alright” I cry so hard I start to hiccup and she pats me on the back comforting me
“Fucking men there all assholes, how about we go out and get pissed and celebrate being single” she says wrapping her arms around my shoulders, I look at her smiling and wipe my tears away
“Fuck it why not” I tell her and she laughs
“Thata’ girl how about we meet in my room around seven and well go and get something to eat first”
“Sounds good”
“See ya later chicky babe” she winks at me as she leaves, I like her instantly
****
Colt
“Where the fuck is she, it's been eight fuckin' days and nothin'” I yell at Stryker, he was the one that woke my ass up after Niya ran out and I searched all day for her.
“Brother sit down, you need to eat man catch a breath”
“Catch a breath, she's fuckin' gone Stryker.... she's fuckin' gone”
“Fuck man I know, I'm sorry”
“I'm tellin' you man, I don't fuckin' remember even seein' Star that night, I remember Niya with me we were sittin' on the sofas than she was gone at some stage and then I remember getting' into bed alone and then you wakin' my ass up” he shrugs his shoulders
“We were pretty fuckin' wasted man”
“Stryker, you know me man I wouldn't.... I just fuckin' wouldn't, Niya means everything to me man fuckin’ everything”
“Colt you were in bed together, she saw it, we all saw it”
“Doesn’t mean I fucked her …...fuck this I need to get out of here” I head out to my bike sick of all the looks the brothers keep given me. I head over to the same place I’ve been comin’ since she’s been gone
“Any luck” I ask Razor hopin’ by some chance Niya’s called but Razor shakes his head, I couldn't go inside Maggie would fuckin' kill me with how angry she was. When she heard what I'd done she stormed into the clubhouse and fuckin' hit me so hard I thought one of my teeth came out, it took Razor and Dover to pull her off of me.
“Nah Brother no word, she hasn't used any of her cards”
“FUCK” I yell
“Get off of my property before I put a bullet in you, you fucking asshole”
“Maggie” Razor scolds her but I know she's just upset about Niya disappearing because I got so fuckin' shit faced and everyone says I fucked Star which I know I wouldn't have.
“Just go Colt I'll call if we hear from her” Razor says
“Razor man I'm so fuckin' sorry”
“YOUR SORRY! YOUR SORRY!” Maggie yells and Razor has to hold her back
“Go I'll call” he tells me
“NO, WE FUCKING WON'T!”
“Maggie, I didn't fuck Star”
“Just go Colt you’re not welcome here anymore” I head to my bike and take off, I ride for hours heading nowhere in particular and end up at my mom’s house
“Any word baby” I just shake my head and slump onto the couch
“I've fuckin' lost her mom” I hold back the tears
“Oh, baby you fucked up”
“That's the thing mom, I know I didn't fuck Star. I wouldn't do that not to Niya........mom” she holds me tight “I fuckin' love her so much, I want her back”
“Baby she'll come home when she's ready”
“And what if she doesn’t, I can't live without her”
“Baby this pain you’re feeling she's in it to... she needs time”
“I just want her back” mom rocks me in her arms and I feel like a pussy, but my mom’s the only one who I would ever let me see like this.
**
Two weeks go by and there's still no word on Niya, I've managed to drink my weight in booze, had three fights one with Blaze, Cuff and Socket both Cuff and Socket are the most pissed off working with Niya every day they'd become really close, thinking of her like a little sister. But Blaze was fuckin' pissed smashing a pool cue over my back and crackin' a rib, he wasn't pissed about Niya. I mean he was upset but her was pissed because I drove my truck into his bike when I was hammered, Stryker had taken both my bike and my truck keys from me after that. He thought the Blaze was ganna kill me, it took Tiny, Stryker and Tank to pull him off of me, Razor was so fuckin' pissed he refused to let me back to the clubhouse until I got my shit together. I wasn't at that point ready to forgive myself, so I drank all day every day just to get her out of my mind.
**
“Colt man get the fuck up”
“What?” I try to sit up but I feel so weak and just lie back down
“Dude you’re on the fuckin' lawn get the fuck up” Stryker leans down and pulls me up
“Brother” I slur tears in my eyes
“Come on Colt man get up” he helps me into the house to my bed, I'd been stayin' at Tiny and Stryker's since Razor threw me out and most nights Stryker’s had to carry me to bed “Fuck Colt this shit has to stop man, pull your shit together you gotta be ready for when she comes home man”
“She ain't comin' back Stryker”
“Colt she's ganna come back and your ganna have your shit ready, so you can prove to her that your fuckin' sorry and that you’re the guy she can depend on” I look at Stryker's blurry face and feel like crying again, fuck I swear I’ve grown a fuckin' vagina.
****
Niya
It's been two months now and I've been so sick, I thought it was the motel, but Brandy doesn’t think so. We've spent a lot of time together and she even got me a job at the dinner she worked at a couple of blocks away at a vintage looking dinner, it was one of those railway cars that people loved, we dressed like women servers of the fifties it was very retro. Jim my new boss was amazing, well Big Jim as everyone called him and he reminded me of Razor so much. I work full time and took any shifts that need to be filled because when I got home after work, all I thought about was Colt and Star and then the tears would start again.
Every morning I would think of them and every morning I would get sick thinking about them, it was a constant circle of hell. I was working so much that I've lost at least fifteen pounds my clothes were hanging off of me, I'd been so sick that Brandy really started to worry giving me the address of the free clinic in town. I finally gave in when I started to feel really dizzy at work and Jim sent me home and now, I'm sitting here waiting to see a doctor.
“Miss Stevens” a nurse calls and I follow her to a room
“The doctor will be in in a minute” she smiles, I smile back with the fakest smile I could put on trying to pretend I was fine and not crumbling inside. The door opens and a pretty Asian woman walks in
“Hello I'm Dr Lee, how can I help you today”
“I've been sick the past few weeks, I just can't seem to keep anything down”
“Tell me what the symptoms are and we can work from there”
“I've been really nauseous I can't keep anything down, I've lost loads of weight, I can't sleep, I'm emotional and I'm tired but that maybe because I haven't been sleeping”
“How long has this been going on for”
“A couple of months now”
“Are you stressed about something” (yeah, the love of my life is an asshole and he cheated on me) but I don't say that I just shake my head
“No”
“It could be a number of things, but we'll get the obvious out of the way first do you think you could be pregnant”
“No! I don't think so I mean... I'm on the pill and I take it religiously” (fuck I didn't even think of being pregnant)
“Well let’s make sure before we go any further, I'd rather make sure you’re not and then we can go from there ok” she hands me a small cup “Toilets just out the door to the left” It takes me a while before I pee and when I get back in I hand it to the doctor “Ok let’s see” she takes the sample from me, I can't see what she's doing when she turns around and she's holding up a pink stick “Well it seems congratulations are in order, you are indeed pregnant” I think I might have had a mini stroke as I stare at the pink stick in her hand.
“I can't be pregnant, I take my pill every morning... I can't be”
“Honey you'd be surprised at how many women I see in a year that get pregnant on some type of contraception, there not always 100%”
“Oh god” I start to hyperventilate and the doctor grabs a bag and snaps it open
“Put your mouth on this and breath” I do, as instructed and breath into the bag
“I'm guessing this is a surprise” I just nod at her “how long have you been sexually active”
“Not long”
“Do you use any other forms of contraception”
“Just the pill”
“Nothing else”
“No”
“Ok when was your last period”
“Last November”
“Have you been sick lately a cold anything like that”
“I had tonsillitis a few months back”
“Where you on any medication from that?”
“Yes, the doctor prescribed antibiotics”
“Did the doctor happen to mention that any form of antibiotic cancels your contraception”
“No, he fucking didn't” I feel pissed off and scared I'm fucking pregnant (fucking pregnant.... shit) I'm only nineteen for fucks sake!
“Ok sit back and relax long breaths in slow breaths out, and I'll just step out and get the ultrasound machine and we'll have a look and see what's going on in there ok” she smiles at me patting my leg and leaving me breathing into the paper bag. She comes in a few minutes later pushing a machine with a screen and tubes
“Ok Niya scoot down a little for me and let’s see what's going on lift your shirt for me and this is just a little gel so we can see” and she squirts some clear fluid onto my stomach
“Argh that’s cold”
“Sorry” she picks up one of the tubes with a ball on the end of it and presses it into my stomach and the screen comes to life and then a loud thumping sound echoes in the room
“What's that noise?”
“That's the baby's heart beat and this is your baby” she points to the screen, I can't really understand what I'm looking at but I burst into tears
“That's my baby” she nods smiling at me
“Let’s take some measurements” she pushes some button and clicking other things “Would you like a photo” I nod
“Yes please, is the baby healthy”
“It looks all good Niya, heart rate is healthy nothing out of the ordinary, I'd say you were around fourteen weeks” I'm having a baby and for the first time in weeks my heart bursts with happiness and starts coming to life I'm having a baby and I start crying with happy tears.
“Do you want me to give you a moment”
“No, I'm good”
“Ok so... how are you feeling”
“Excited........Scared”
“You'll be fine sweetheart, the nausea should teeter off within the next couple of weeks and you'll feel a lot more energized when you get food into you, I've got some pamphlets here about pregnancy and I'll write you a prescription for vitamins, is there anything you want to ask me” I shake my head no I've gone completely blank (I'm pregnant...fuck)