The feeling of being trapped under an electric blanket pulled me from slumber. I blinked the sleep from my eyes, taking in the dark room I knew wasn’t my own. It took several seconds for me to remember what happened the night before and to discover the source of the near-uncomfortable heat radiating through my body.

I was in Garrett’s room, in his bed, with his massive body coiled around mine like an anaconda. The moon was still shining brightly through the curtains on his balcony doors, so I knew I’d only been asleep for a few hours.

“Shit,” I whispered quietly, reaching up to rub at my forehead as visions of what I’d done played through my brain on fast-forward. Once I finished silently berating myself for my stupidity, I carefully lifted Garrett’s arm from my waist and slid from beneath the covers, praying I didn’t wake him.

I breathed a sigh of relief when my feet hit the floor and the cool AC brushed across my hot skin. The damn man put off heat like a furnace when he slept. It was stifling. At least I knew where Liddy got it from. She’d burned so hot at night, even as a baby, that I was constantly taking her temperature to make sure she wasn’t sick.

Looking for my dress in the dark would have been pointless, so I felt around for any fabric I could find, luckily stumbling on Garrett’s tee first. After sliding it on, I padded to the bathroom and turned on the light once the door was closed behind me.

The woman staring back at me in the mirror looked thoroughly fucked. If waking up to Garrett tangled around me wasn’t proof enough that I hadn’t dreamed the hours prior, the signs on my body would have definitely done it. With messy, tangled hair, flushed skin, and beard burn on my chin and neck, I looked like a sexed-up mess. And I was sure I had more evidence to that fact on other areas of my body. There was still a dull, pleasant throb between my thighs from all of Garrett’s efforts.

After splashing my face with cold water and finger-combing my hair to the best of my ability, I silently crept out of his bathroom and bedroom, making my way on quiet feet down the stairs to the kitchen. I needed alcohol to deal with the aftereffects of the night. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I pulled a red blend I favored from the wine holder on the island.

It took half a glass before I was able to breathe normally, and another quarter for the self-deprecating voice in my head to screw the hell off.

I set the glass on the island and rested my hands on either side of it as I closed my eyes and lowered my head. I needed to convince myself that what had happened was wrong, that it should never happen again, but just the thought of never experiencing that kind of passion made me sad.

I was in the middle of contemplating a refill when a pair of arms circled my waist from behind and pulled me into a hard, warm chest. “Shit.” I damn near jumped out of my skin. “You scared me.”

“Sorry.” Garrett chuckled into my hair, rubbing his nose along my neck. Well that was definitely a change from our last post-coital. “Woke up alone and didn’t like it. What are you doing down here? It’s four in the morning.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” I replied, holding my body stiff. I didn’t know what I wanted to do more, run away or burrow closer. “Your body throws some serious heat at night. It’s like sleeping in a sauna.”

His grip grew tighter as he pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Then we’ll have to remember to crank the AC down at night.”

Wow. Unexpected and really freaking nice… but so, so dangerous. “Garrett,” I sighed, turning in his arms since he refused to let go. “I don’t think that should happen again. It wasn’t smart.”

He gave me another kiss, that one on my lips. “Gonna have to disagree, baby. Pretty sure that was the smartest fuckin’ thing I ever did.”

I groaned and bent my neck until my forehead rested against his bare chest. With the perfect sightline, I was able to see he was wearing nothing but a pair of dark blue boxer briefs. God, the man’s body was off the charts. Unable to help myself, I lifted my hands and placed them on his tatted biceps, trailing my fingers along the intricate lines past his elbows all the way to his wrists. I had no more fight in me; it had all drained out… or been fucked out.

“It doesn’t change anything. We’ve had sex twice and we still don’t know each other.”

Garrett’s hands tangled in the hair on both sides of my head. He used his hold to tilt my face up. “Then tell me,” he insisted. “Tell me all about you, where you grew up, what your childhood was like. Christ, tell me when you lost your fuckin’ virginity. I want to know it all.”

I wrapped my fingers around his wrists and pulled his hands away. “And in return?” I asked quietly.

He took a surprised step back. “What?”

I took the opportunity to separate us further, grabbing my glass and the wine bottle and moving to the kitchen table, taking a seat. The moon shone through the windows and French doors, providing enough illumination to see everything clearly. “If I tell you about me, are you going to return the favor? I don’t want to get into all of this if it’s just a ploy for you to get me into your bed again.”

“For Christ’s sake,” he grumbled, raking his hands through his tousled hair. “What do I have to do to prove to you that I’m not a total fuckin’ asshole?” he asked as he stomped to the table and took the chair next to mine.

“I don’t know,” I deadpanned. “Maybe not send your bodyguard to spy on my dates?”

He slapped his palm down on the wood surface of the table so loud I jumped. “Goddamn it! You had no business going on that fucking date in the first place!”

“Why?” I snapped, leaning forward.

“Because you’re mine!” he boomed, his answer shocking the ever-loving hell out of me. “Jesus,” he muttered, flopping back in the chair in frustration. “You drive me fucking crazy, Gwen. I spend all day bouncing between wanting to fuck you and wanting to throttle you. I’ve never had anyone burrow so far under my skin. You do my goddamn head in, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I didn’t touch that bitch last night. If you had really looked at those pictures, you’d have seen I was passed the fuck out. I wasn’t even touching her! I don’t want anyone else. I just want you. What do I have to do, huh? Just tell me and I’ll do it.”

It took me a while to pick my jaw up from the floor so I could answer. I never in a million years would have expected such raw honesty from him—hell, I didn’t think he was even capable of it. Sure, not everything he said was flattering, but it wasn’t like he didn’t make me feel the exact same way. I got it. I understood where he was coming from. And for the first time since that terrible night, I wanted to give him a peek behind my shield.

I sat back and took a small sip of wine, trying to get my thoughts together enough to share. “I grew up on a farm in Idaho,” I admitted. The harshness in his expression slowly melted away as I continued talking, and I knew I had his avid attention. “We didn’t really grow up with a lot of money, you know. Farming can be tough. You’re at the whim of Mother Nature, so if there’s a drought or a flood, profits are affected. But my parents gave me everything they could afford. I might not have had the most popular or most expensive stuff, but they worked their asses off to give me the things I wanted.”

“Your folks sound pretty great.”

“They were,” I whispered, a ball of emotion forming in my throat. It had been so long since I spoke openly about my parents, it was like ripping a scab off a wound. “There are still times now when I feel guilty for how badly I wanted to get out of that town when I was younger. Corrine and I were so eager to move away and start somewhere bigger. I never took what I wanted to leave behind into consideration. When I graduated, I packed up and moved to Seattle without ever wanting to look back. I figured visiting on holidays and summer breaks would be enough.” I let out a pained laugh when I thought back on that young, selfish girl.

“I know I told you about my folks dying, but what I didn’t tell you was that my father died before I ever finished college. I moved back to help my mom with the farm, but then she got sick. Cancer. It ate away at her until she finally let go. When I met you, I’d only just moved back in with Corrine. I had no choice. Mom had died only a few months before, and shortly after, the bank seized the farm. We barely had enough to cover bills, and with Mom’s medical expenses it all got to be too much. I couldn’t stay afloat. I had nothing.”

“Shit, baby. I’m so sorry.” Garrett leaned over and lifted me from the chair, pulling me into his lap so I was straddling his thighs. I hadn’t realized I was crying until he reached up and brushed a tear away with his thumb.

“I lost everything and everyone I ever loved, Garrett. I was at rock bottom. When I came back, I wasn’t sure I’d ever fill that hole I had inside of me. But then I met you, and you were so… alive. I don’t know if you remember anything from that night. You’d had a lot to drink—”

“Fuck,” he hissed, his face ravaged with guilt.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s not like I didn’t know.”

“Still, that’s not a fuckin’ excuse. I’m so goddamn sorry.”

“Don’t be. We’re trying to move past that, right? I just want you to have enough insight to understand.” He gave a short, jerky nod but didn’t look any less remorseful. “Dinner was my attempt at building a family for myself, as unconventional as we are. I haven’t had a real family in so long that I got a little carried away trying to mold us into something. That’s why it hurt so much when I sat at that table all night waiting for you to show.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but I needed to finish. I had to get this out. This conversation was one I hadn’t realized I needed; it was as if I was exorcising my demons.

“I’m over it. I’ll make you work to make it up to me, but I’ll forgive you. Because I have to. Holding on to so much anger just isn’t healthy. What I need you to get is this: you didn’t fill that hole, but you went a long way in making me feel better. I might not have a lot of happy memories from that following morning, but you did give me something precious. You gave me Liddy, and having her has worked wonders in filling that hole, Garrett. I had someone to love again who loved me back. No matter how much I wanted to hate you, I couldn’t… not completely. You gave me her. I don’t have a single regret, because she was the outcome.”

His eyes shone in the dim moonlight as he looked at me, running his fingers through my hair. “You’re killing me, baby. You know that? Fuckin’ gutted that you had to go through all of that. I hate myself for causing more pain.”

“So what about you?” I asked, intentionally changing the subject.

“What about me?”

“Give and take, right?” I asked with a smile, giving him a playful pinch. “I tell, you tell.”

He laughed, his hands moving to circle my waist. “What do you want to know?”

I paused to give that some thought, then asked the question I’d spent nearly four years trying to avoid the answer to. “How’d Civil Corruption get started?”

He gave me a wonky, lopsided grin that was no less hot than the panty-dropping one he wore on magazine covers. “What? We can have a kid together but you never bothered to google me?”

“It takes a lot of effort to hate someone,” I teased. “I couldn’t very well keep that up while cyberstalking you, now could I?”

He rested his palms at the base of my spine, so close to my bare butt I got chills. “Fair enough. Well, it’s nothing interesting. Had a shit home life, a dad who did nothing but yell, and a mom who checked out. I didn’t like being there, so I spent most of my time with Kill, Deck, and another friend of ours, guy named Will. We’d lived in the same neighborhood in San Fran our whole lives, so they were like brothers to me. The one thing we all had in common was a love of music, so it’s no surprise we started a shitty little garage band together.”

“So you’ve always played the drums?”

He shook his head. “Back then I mainly played guitar and dabbled with the bass. Fucked around on drums when I wanted to pound on something.”

“Ah.” I grinned. “So you’re a multitalented musician.”

He pulled me close enough to give my chin a tiny nip with his teeth. “I’m multitalented in all aspects of life.”

I smacked his shoulder and pushed him back to meet his eyes once more. “Keep going.”

“Will was a badass when it came to anything with an engine, rebuilt a car all on his own when he was just sixteen. But he was a shit musician, and he knew it too. Mace started at our school our sophomore year. Will met him first and discovered the guy could seriously shred. I might have been good on the guitar, but it was nothing compared to what he could do. Will stepped back, making room for Mace, and I found my place behind a kit.”

I gave in to my urge and brushed his hair back from his forehead, reveling in the feel of the silky strands. “Do you ever miss it?”

“Nah. He’s a better guitarist and I’m a better drummer. That was right around the time we got serious about the band. All we wanted was to make it big, so switching things up never bothered me. It was for the greater good.”

“And Will? Where is he now?”

“Still in San Francisco. Loves it there. Got his own body shop and everything. We tried to get him to move to Seattle with us when we finally caught our big break, but he wasn’t having any of it. All his family is still there and they’re tight. He wouldn’t think of leaving them, but we get together as often as possible.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’ve got such close relationships. People need those kinds of connections.”

He nodded in agreement, but his face changed again, looking sad and forlorn. “I fuckin’ hate that you ever spent a day without that, baby.”

I wanted to wipe his expression clear, melt away the pain. For the first time, I wanted to make Garrett feel better, not hurt him because he’d hurt me, so I leaned in and placed a soft kiss against his lips. “Let’s make a deal. Right here, right now.”

“Yeah? What deal?”

“This very moment is a fresh start for us.”

One of his brows quirked up as a snarky smirk spread across his lips. “Isn’t that a little hard considering we already have a kid together?”

“You know what I mean,” I said with an eye roll. “No more holding on to the past. We agree to let go of all the hard feelings and animosities and start over. What do you say?”

He watched me in silence for several seconds before holding one of his big hands between us. “Hi. I’m Garrett Wilder.”

I let out a little giggle and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Garrett. I’m Gwendolyn Carson.”

His hand gripped mine and held tight. “I want to start this off right, Gwendolyn, so can I be honest with you?”

“Please.”

“I think you’re insanely beautiful, and I’m dying to bend you over this table and fuck you ’til you can’t stand.”

I swallowed past the sudden dryness in my throat. “Well, Garrett, we’re both being honest here, right?”

“Definitely.”

Brushing my lips against his, I whispered the words I knew would get me exactly what I wanted. “Then what are you waiting for?”