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Corrus Dragon: A Dragon Shifter Romance (Dragons of Brevia: Shadow Squad Book 3) by Zoey Harper (8)

8

Jamie stood in the kitchen, wiping down the countertops with a smile on her face. Ethan sat in front of the TV, after having just baked his first cake, with Jamie's help of course, and she couldn't be happier. These were the little things she never had time for in her everyday life, and once again she felt grateful for the time she got to spend with her son.

Looking back on her own life, she never had such positive memories with her parents. They were always so proper and expected her to play along lest she damage the family image. Her father was a clergyman turned politician, so there was little room for mistakes.

Jamie knew her parents loved her, but the expression of that love always came with strings attached. This was why she was adamant about raising Ethan as she saw fit. And now, a horrible situation had given her the time to make memories with her son.

Corrus was a big part of that. If he hadn't come into the store when he did, then she probably wouldn't even be alive, and Ethan would be long gone. Jamie shook her head. The little bubble Corrus and his friends helped create for her helped both her and Ethan forget about the dragon hunting them down.

"There's no point dwelling on it," Jamie muttered. Corrus was working hard to capture the dragon, and, in the meantime, she was having a wonderful time with all his friends. She'd met Cimmeris and Narchis over dinner a few days ago, and Ethan had taken to the two men as much as Jamie had.

Life was good for Jamie. During the day, she got to play the stay-at-home mom, and when Corrus came home, she got to play house.

Jamie froze and squeezed her eyes shut.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? she thought.

After the day they’d had a group dinner, Corrus hadn't looked at her or touched her like he had that day. He was just as kind, but he kept his distance. Jamie had told herself to get over it because the last thing she needed was a man that blew hot and cold.

But, somehow, over the last few days, she'd forgotten her little pep talk and allowed herself to continue down the path of nurturing her feelings for Corrus.

Jamie sighed, then turned to wash the dishes in the sink. The last time she'd read between the lines, things had ended up badly. Ethan was three at the time, and a neighbor had given her a listening ear and several fun evenings when she could get a babysitter.

Months into the relationship, Jamie found out he was separated but still trying to get back with his wife. The news crushed her and made her raise her walls even higher. After that came a slew of "I'd date you if you didn't have a kid" men. It appeared that Jamie had let her emotional guard down, and she needed to pick it back up, because, any day now, Corrus might find the dragon and Jamie would go back to her regular life.

A knock on the door startled Jamie, but Emily walked in with a smile on her face.

"Hi. I just came to get some files from the desktop." Emily waved a USB stick in the air. "How's everything going?"

"Good," Jamie said, forcing some cheer into her voice.

"I don't believe you for a second. What's wrong?"

Jamie sucked in a breath. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just a little tired. Ethan and I baked a cake this evening."

Emily turned to Ethan and smiled. "Ethan, can I taste some of your cake?"

"Yeah. We worked hard on it. I think you'll like it."

"Thanks, buddy." Emily turned to Jamie, lowering her voice. "Do you want to talk about this here, or go up to your room?"

Jamie sighed. "We can talk here. The TV's too loud for Ethan to hear us. There's not much to say, anyway."

Emily sat at the kitchen table and motioned for Jamie to do the same. Jamie looked down as tears threatened to fall. It wasn't that Corrus had rejected her. They hadn't even had the conversation. She was just disappointed in herself, yet again, for dropping the ball once more. She kept reminding herself that she wasn't living for herself anymore and that Ethan came first, but the young girl in her who wanted someone to spend her life with wouldn't let up.

"Hey." Emily placed a hand on Jamie's wrist. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you."

Jamie laughed shortly. "It's no big deal. Seriously."

Emily leaned back and folded her arms. "Do you want me to read your mind?"

Jamie's eyes widened. "Can you do that?"

"Yup. I really can. Especially because you have no mental shields up. But I'd rather not because I consider you a friend."

Jamie blinked rapidly. "Wait, can Corrus read minds, too?"

Emily smirked. "He definitely can. Scared he knows you have feelings for him?"

"Oh my god! No wonder he's been pulling back. He can see my desperation a mile away."

"Uh, first off, Corrus is a gentleman. He wouldn't read your mind without your permission and, seeing as you didn't even know it was possible, I'm pretty sure he hasn't. Secondly, I don't think you're desperate. You're just falling in love."

Jamie put her head in her hands. "With someone who isn't interested in me."

Emily smacked her hand on the table. "Enough of the pity party, Jamie. You're good-looking,**** smart, and hard-working. Your son is sweet, handsome, and inquisitive. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

Jamie scoffed. "Several have proven otherwise."

"They were idiots." Emily wrinkled her nose. "Corrus is an elite Brevian soldier. He's on a whole other level. You must have noticed that."

Jamie smiled. "I have. But he's not made any moves. A few days ago, we held hands for a couple of minutes, then, before our group dinner, he looked at me like I was a freaking model. Thanks for the outfit idea, by the way."

"You're welcome." Emily placed her hands on the table. "Look, Corrus is Brevian. We have a curious mix of monarchy and democracy. Honor is a huge thing there. Especially for dragon shifters. He won't make a move unless he knows you like him or he's ready to be with you. I don't know if he's ready, but one way to get your answer is to tell him how you feel."

Jamie groaned. "What if he doesn't like me?"

Emily laughed. "Then you'll know, and you can move on. Come on, you're a grown woman. You must have let a guy know you were interested before."

Jamie shook her head. "I never have. Which is why I don't know what to do."

"Well, lucky for you, you have me." Emily grinned. "It's simple. You just have to ask a question that will open a conversation. Then, when the time is right, share something personal about yourself. That will ensure that you're at ease with each other and make him feel like he can be open with you because you just did the same with him. After that, ask him how he feels about you. That way, he knows you're interested, but you're not giving anything up by coming on to him in an obvious way. Sound good?" Emily asked, tilting her head.

Jamie groaned. "It sounds freaking terrifying."

Emily laughed, and Jamie squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself to get some courage.

* * *

That night, after Jamie tucked Ethan into bed, she walked back downstairs and found Corrus seated on the couch with the TV on.

"Hey," he greeted, turning the volume down as she sat on the couch beside him. That was the kind of thing Jamie appreciated about Corrus. He was respectful and intuitive. Over the last few days, she never had to think of what might be a good time to ask Corrus something or just have a casual conversation with him. Her father was like that, and she hated having to figure out his mood before she spoke to him.

"Hey. What are you watching?" Jamie asked.

"Honestly? Nothing. I just turned it on to try to distract myself from our operation. Things aren't going as well as I'd like them to."

Jamie nodded. "How about a bit of conversation instead?"

Corrus turned the TV off, then turned to face her. "Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything. We don't know much about each other, even though we've spent days together."

"Okay. I don't want to screw this up by asking something super personal, so why don't you go first and I'll copy you."

Jamie smiled. If only he knew just how personal she wanted things to get.

Easy, she told herself.

"Why don't you tell me a little about Brevia?"

Corrus shook his head with a smile. "It's so much like Earth it would disappoint you."

"But Emily said you had a monarchy slash democracy."

Corrus nodded. "We do, but we have corruption and sleazy politicians just like you do. It's just that some of them inherit their post rather than compete to win it."

"Huh. Okay. Tell me about your childhood. Even though things are pretty similar between our two planets, you must have played different games or experienced different education systems."

Corrus' face fell, and Jamie wondered what she'd said wrong. She opened her mouth to apologize, but Corrus stopped her.

"It's not your fault."

Again, it was like he could read her mind. Jamie drew a sharp breath. Was he reading her mind? Did he already know what she planned to say to him tonight? She shook her head. No. Emily said he wouldn't do that.

"I didn't have a good childhood, and, if it's okay with you, I'd prefer not to talk about it."

"I understand." Jamie raised an eyebrow. "What about college?"

Corrus smiled. "I was in the military academy. College for me was nothing like it was for you. It was all drills, military history, and magic classes."

Jamie winced. "That sounds...structured."

Corrus laughed. "Oh, it was, and it was painful, too. On Brevia, war is a real, everyday occurrence. Even though we haven't fought on our soil in decades, we still send soldiers to other planets."

"So what were your magic classes like?"

Corrus shook his head. "In a word: boring. There was so much meditation in it. Something, my younger self hated."

"Wait." Jamie tilted her head. "How old were you when you joined?"

"Eighteen." No wonder Corrus was so disciplined. The same went for his teammates. Jamie had seen them take off on runs and report for their guard duties right on time, down to the minute. It looked like it served them well. They were fit and successful.

"That seems very young."

Corrus shook his head. "It's actually standard. Cimmeris joined at fourteen. Now that's young."

"I'll have to ask him about it the next time we speak."

"What about you?" Corrus asked, cocking his head. "What was college like for you?"

Jamie felt her palms grow sweaty. This was the kind of opening she'd been waiting for. Although she hated talking about her time in college, the outcome, Ethan, was pleasant, so she swallowed hard and powered through.

"College was fun for me, at first. My parents were super strict. They're in politics."

"Yikes. You must have had to play the perfect daughter."

Jamie sighed. "I did. But college was the one place where I escaped from all of that. I got to experiment with what I wore, who I spoke to, even what I ate. It was amazing. Then in my third year, I met Ethan's father."

Jamie looked down and wrung her hands. Even though she'd thought about the past a lot, she'd never told anyone the details of it until now.

Corrus cleared his throat. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Jamie snapped her head up. She wasn't going to lose this chance. It had taken her a glass of wine, and a severe mirror-pep-talk to do it. "It's okay. I want to."

Corrus smiled. "Just know you can stop any time. I won't mind."

Jamie nodded. "Anyway, Ethan's father was always hitting on me, but I saw him hanging around with some nasty-looking characters. I never gave him the time of day."

Jamie's voice lowered as she continued. "Then one day, I went home for Thanksgiving. My parents got on my case about what I was wearing and how I hadn't been to church or any of my father's rallies in months. In the past, they’d lectured me, but this time they went on, calling my character into question, making me feel guilty that they'd spent all that money on me and that I wasn't living up to their expectations. I stormed out that night, for the first time in my life. I went back to campus and ran into Ethan's father. He insisted on cheering me up, and one thing led to another."

Jamie took a deep breath and looked up at Corrus. She saw nothing but compassion in his eyes. It felt good to have someone not judge her. She'd done far too much of that herself over the years.

"When I told my parents I was pregnant, they disowned me. Abortion was not an option, and they didn't want to be attached to the scandal. Ethan's father disappeared weeks after I told him I was pregnant, promising to take responsibility for him. I had no interest in being with him, so it was fine with me. What hurt was how quickly my parents shut me out. They made me feel...worthless. Like nothing good could ever come out of my life, or Ethan's, for that matter."

Corrus moved closer and took Jamie's hand in his. "You're anything but worthless. You've got to know that."

Jamie nodded, but she was distracted. Corrus hand was hot. She'd noticed that about all the dragons, and, right now, his heat was comforting her, helping her to break down the final barriers she needed to open up about her feelings.

"Do you like me?" Jamie blurted out. Corrus dropped her hand like it had just zapped him. Jamie blushed. She'd planned on being a lot smoother. Maybe asking Corrus about his luck with women.

Oh well, she thought. It's now or never.

Corrus rubbed the back of his neck and stared uncomfortably at the coffee table in front of him, shuffling every few seconds. Before Jamie could talk herself out of it, she pushed on.

"Corrus, do you like me?"

Corrus sighed, then turned to face her, his green eyes full of fear. "I do, but I"

Jamie placed a finger on his lips. They'd come this far. She wasn't going to let him chicken out.

"Jamie, what are we doing?" Corrus whispered, as his eyes darkened with what she hoped was lust.

Jamie didn't answer. She leaned forward and kissed Corrus' cheek, then his jaw, and, finally, his lips.

Parting her lips in invitation, Jamie forgot about all the reasons why getting physical so soon might be a bad idea. She pushed aside every thought about how much she'd be hurt if Corrus said that he didn't want a future with her. All that mattered at that moment was his closeness and his gentle touches.

Corrus' arms slipped around Jamie's back, drawing her closer until her front rested comfortably against his side. His hands rose up to cup Jamie's cheeks as he stroked her face with his thumbs. Jamie tilted her head, eager for more of Corrus' gentle assault, lost in the kiss.

But just when things were about to get really good, Corrus jerked away and scooted to the other end of the couch, panting.

"I can't do this." He ran a hand through his hair, which must have come undone during their extended kiss.

Jamie took a deep breath and nodded. She already knew the most important thing. Corrus was interested in her. No one kissed like that if they didn't mean it. All she needed to know was what was holding him back so that they could hopefully work on it together.

"Can you tell me why?" she asked, her voice soft.

"I'm not ready to give you what you deserve, and I'm not the type of guy who'll play with your feelings while I figure things out. I'm sorry, Jamie."

Jamie nodded and rose. "Thanks for being honest with me. I'm going to head to bed now."

Corrus stood abruptly and shuffled his feet. "I really am sorry."

Jamie stroked his arm and put on a brave smile. "Don't be. Just let me know when you're ready."

As she walked up to her room, Jamie shook her head and sighed. It sucked that Corrus wasn't ready for a relationship and that he didn't volunteer the exact reason why. It looked like it was going to be a long road. Any man who could pull away from a kiss like that had serious willpower.

There's still hope, though. That bulge in his pants told the truth, Jamie thought as she snickered quietly. You've still got it, Jamie.