CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“I can’t believe you enjoy editing all those students’ papers,” Joe muttered, walking to his own chair when she swatted his hand away. “Boring!”
“Occasionally. But until we decide what we’re doing with sixty odd horses, I need a real job.” She smiled across at him. “At least until more of the horses can go to new homes. I’m so glad Hope is being trained as a therapy horse.”
“That’s a perfect spot for her,” he agreed. “Richard still wants us to go to Dallas for Thanksgiving. But he said they could come here if we can’t leave the horses.”
“Yeah, right.” Jody smiled at the idea. “We couldn’t fit everyone in even if we bought bedrolls and tents. He doesn’t still want us to talk to his financial advisor, does he?”
“Yes. He thinks we should take the steps to become an established horse rescue.”
“Maybe someday.” Jody stared absently at the wall for a moment, then remembered. “We got a nice thank you from Heaven’s Wings Horse Rescue for featuring them on the website. They’ve gotten some contributions they really needed.”
“All’s well that ends well,” he said, glancing pointedly at the bed. She laughed and flung a notepad at him. Then she started pulling clothes off.
***
The gray horse Benton had switched for Cowboy was truly the most vicious she’d ever seen. Eric wouldn’t even throw hay over the fence into the paddock that he occupied alone, and Joe kept insisting he be euthanized or put out with Eric’s cattle and forgotten.
“We’ll get there, won’t we?” Jody asked. “You’ve probably been abused all your life. You can’t get over something like that in a month or two, right boy?”
If anything, the gelding flattened his ears even more. When she held an apple out over the fence, he snorted, then suddenly charged the fence. The apple fell to the ground, and she barely jumped down before he crashed into the fence.
“What the hell’s wrong with you, Jody?” Joe’s voice behind her startled her, as did the anger tightening his face when she turned. “Do you have some damn death wish?”
The words stung. She’d never seen him mad at her, but she could feel the heat of his fury even though he didn’t touch her.
“He needs work,” she said, shrugging. “Joe, calm down. I wasn’t in any danger.”
“What if the fence hadn’t held? What if he’d gotten your arm? He attacks any horse we try to put in here for company. He’s not Cowboy, Jody. He’s not going to be okay!”
Jody felt tears sting. She wanted so much to be able to control the stupid things. They just made her feel weak. She turned and looked at the horse until she could reason with Joe again.
“Look, I know you worry, but you don’t need to. I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want to see you anywhere near this pen, Jody.”
“What?” Jody stared at him, open-mouthed. “You can’t mean—”
“I mean if I see you here, again, I’ll put the horse down.”
“You’re telling me what I can and can’t do? No!”
“I will not come over—and Eric won’t—to find you in a mangled heap in the dirt. Why can’t you just see that it’s for your own safety?”
“So I listen, the way you did when I begged you not to ride Cowboy?”
“If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t have Cowboy. This horse has no reason to live, Jody. Cowboy had every reason to. You’ve proved that.” He paused, his chest heaving with emotion. “You want me to tell you why you can’t come here again? Because I love you too much to let you. Okay?”
Jody stared at him in shock, then her own anger ignited deep inside. “Now you love me, Joe? We both agreed there were no ties. You didn’t want a relationship. And I don’t want one more person using love as a reason for me not to do what I want. I lost Cowboy because my stepfather ‘loved’ me! I cry too easily and I can’t say the right words, but I am not some little ragdoll—”
“No one ever said you were.” Joe turned away. “I don’t want to stand here and yell at you, Jody. I’m telling you to leave this brute alone.”
“You don’t have that right, Joe Roberts! Standing here on my ranch telling me what I can and can’t do!” She saw him wince and knew she’d gone too far. She wished she could choke back the reference to the ranch, but words failed her again.
He paused, looking over his shoulder. “So, just to be clear, I don’t have the right to demand anything out of this relationship?”
“No,” she whispered, unable to bend as she usually did.
He nodded and walked away.
That night, he slept in his room with the door shut. She didn’t sleep until the early morning hours, and when she finally dozed off, her alarm jolted her awake almost immediately.
She got up, dressed and went to find Joe. And apologize. He’d told her he loved her. She told him he had no rights on ‘her’ property. She thought of Cowboy, safe in his stall, and learning to be ridden with a saddle. Of Hope, off to work on a ranch serving troubled and disabled youth.
He wasn’t in his room. Her heart stopped when she looked out the front window. He was gone.
“Why in hell would you run a man like Joe off, girl?” Eric demanded, coming out of the kitchen.
“Run—what did he say?” Jody whispered, pressing her palms into her jeans so her hands wouldn’t shake.
“Come sit down a minute,” her stepfather ordered. He motioned her to the table, where his mug of coffee sat steaming. “Something to drink or eat?” he asked awkwardly, and she shook her head.
“Can’t talk to you if you just stand holding that chair like I’ll hurt you, girl,” Eric told her gruffly. “Sit. Please.”
Jody eased herself into a chair, and he continued. “Joe said he’d let me know where he was going so he could keep up with the horses. Said he couldn’t stay if you didn’t understand why he didn’t want you endangering yourself.”
Jody hung her head, but blurted out the truth she’d carried for so many years. “That’s what you told me, too, Eric. First you lied and said Cowboy had died. Then you said you’d sold him because you didn’t want him to hurt me.”
“And that’s true, Jody. I didn’t want you to get hurt. Because your Mom—you were everything to her. I didn’t keep her from breeding horses, Jody. Katie got scared for you, afraid she might be hurt. Then she found out she was sick. She—we thought it was best, Jody. We never meant to hurt you and we would have taken it back, but we couldn’t.” He hung his head for a moment, and when he looked up, the strong, emotionless man she’d known for so long had tears in his eyes. “When you do something out of love, it’s not always what’s best for everyone,” he said quietly. “But it’s always the right reason to try.”
Jody grabbed a handful of napkins, wiped her face with one, and handed him some, smiling at him through tears. “Do I need to go to Dallas?”
Eric shook his head. “He went to Chuck’s for a few days.”
She walked around the table, shocking them both when she hugged his shoulders and kissed his cheek.
“Wish me luck,” she whispered.
“I always have,” he said.
***
Jody didn’t find Joe at Chuck’s ranch, but his wife told her to look for “the gang” at Red’s Diner. She found the small place easily and recognized his truck among a handful of others.
Going in alone was torture. Still, she forced herself to the back table where half a dozen men who’d helped Joe and her were eating and laughing.
Chuck saw her first and nudged Joe, whose fork fell back to his plate with a clang. The others started standing, but Jody made a motion with her hand, stopping them.
“Please don’t go. You haven’t finished eating.” She took a deep breath. “Besides, I have something to say to Joe, and—” her words caught in her throat. She dragged in a deep breath, and went on. “You guys helped us when it mattered. You can hear this.”
“I—Joe, I’m sorry. I’ve blamed love for a lot of things that…maybe they started out of love and didn’t turn out right for me, but no one ever used love to hurt me.” She stopped, fishing for words. “I hugged Eric before I came,” she said.
Joe’s friends looked confused, but Joe’s eyes misted.
“He said if something starts in love it doesn’t always end the way you want it to, but love is the best place to start.”
Joe’s friends were sliding out of the booth awkwardly, smiling at her and disappearing. Other guests and a waitress were clearly listening, but for once, she didn’t care.
“If it’s really love, Joe, I’d like to start forever. With you.”